Bachlorette and Shower guidelines

[nkkilala]

Ok,
So I am the maid of honor in my sisters wedding this septemeber. I know I can't exactly throw her a shower but have some other wedding etiquette questions.
1) When should I throw her bachlorette party (she specifically asked me to do this becasue she knows I will be nice)
2) Do I get her a gift at every shower I'm invited to?

If you have any other tips for being in a wedding (especially being the maid of honor) please let me know!


Thank you all very much!

 

[WDWAurora]

Being in the bridal party, to some extent, excuses you from the "can't throw a shower rule" so doing the bachelorette party shouldn't be a big deal. My SisILs did one of my showers because they wanted me to have one in that part of the state and it wasn't weird or anything.

Ok, onto the questions. I would talk to her about timing for the party, unless you want it to be a surprise, in which case I would talk to the groom. I'm sure it's a crazy time and there are other showers, fittings, etc. that she has to be at, so only she can really give you a good time for that. I would probably aim for late August since the first weekend in September is a holiday weekend and many may be away.

No, you do not have to bring a gift to everything. MIL and SisIL did, but I'm pretty sure that's not the norm. In this part of the country, most people give either a wedding gift OR a shower gift, not both, so anytime multiple gifts were received it was a surprise. But even in areas where people bring something to the shower and wedding, the rule I've seen (like on theknot) say that being invited to everything excuses you from having to get multiple gifts for multiple showers.

 

[JandJ]

As for throwing the shower, I agree with WDWAurora, being in the bridal party excuses you from the rule of not throwing a shower because you're family. I think the shower rules are a bit out-dated.

I had 2 showers and a bachelorette party. The girls who hosted the "big" shower did not bring gifts, and none were expected. The girl who threw the bachelorette gave a bridal shower gift and a bachelorette gift, which really was a surprise! My work shower was a group gift and that was nice. We didn't expect wedding gifts since we basically "eloped to Disney" but some relatives and friends did send a gift. For the most part, relatives and friends who gave a gift at the shower did not give a wedding gift, and we didn't expect any.

My bachelorette party was 1 month before the wedding since we wanted to do it on a Saturday and that worked out best for everyone. It also gave me plenty of time to recover Unless you absolutely know for sure what she wants and when she wants it, I wouldn't do a surprise bachelorette party.

For the weddings that I've been in the bridal party, if I'm not hosting the shower I give a shower present but not a wedding gift. I figure I bought the dress, the shoes, got my hair done, and in most cases traveled to the wedding, and that's enough.