Bachelor parties and Adult Entertainment...

[sodaseller]

Not appealing to me, and I say that without suggesting that I am holier than anyone else or less susceptible to temptation. DW would not like if I went, but would understand and nit be upset if it was a friend's bachelor party or something similar

 

[sodaseller]

As an aside, had some clients years ago that made clear they expected to be taken there and have all types of "services" covered - even said it could be charged with a nondescript title for both the establishment and services. Did not confirm and declined - never know when one's "record" will be examined

 

[Saphire]

I think it is disrespectful to the marriage... I would not think of doing it and my dh feels the same way....

I also agree with this. It has absolutely nothing to do with trust or my own self-esteem. It is a respect issue. And the night before the wedding? Even more disrespectful.

 

[babar]

I also agree with this. It has absolutely nothing to do with trust or my own self-esteem. It is a respect issue. And the night before the wedding? Even more disrespectful.

well, it's only a respect issue if it's important to you. i could care less if he goes to a strip club! good god, I get crushes at guys I see on my way to work!!!

it's all purely physical(of course I do mean no touching) and fantasy. as long as you both realize that, you'll be fine!

 

[RadioNate]

Those of you who oppose the whole strip club thing...have you ever been to a strip club? I'm just wondering if there is a connection based on malibuconlee's comments.

 

[Pin Wizard]

As in "husband"? You better believe it would bother me. DH's first marriage I heard he went to a bar with the guys. That's it. Ours, we both went out with our friends separately the night before. Nothing major. Don't think I'd want my DH going to something like that!

 

[helenabear]

My husband has gone on a party or so where they went to a strip club. Some of what I heard the groom doing really ticked me off to no end! At one point my DH and a friend left the "party" for a while since it got to be too much. In general I don't have a problem with it if there involves no touching. I'd be very ticked off if I were my friend if she ever found out what her DH did! Some people have no tact or restraint... and especially knowing that his soon to be wife wasn't too keen on him going in the first place, he should've behaved himself!

 

[DisneyJen0504]

Doesnt bother me but Dh doesnt go now. Every once in awhile all the guys will go for someone's bachelor party but it isnt a big deal to me. He used to when we were dating and yes he had strippers at his own bachelor party. I have been to a few male reviews but they are more laughable than anything else. We have never been together as I am not interested in going. And no, he doesnt come home all sexed up either. He says it just isnt as interesting as it was when he was 18.
If both people feel it is disrespectful, then great. But odds are those that are saying it is have husbands who feel differently. And if you make rules for eachother and fool yourself into believing it is okay for you to "forbid" your spouse from doing anything, in my opinion, isnt there a bigger problem?
If you love and trust eachother, and you are not insecure within yourself or the relationship, why is it such a bad thing?

 

[Saphire]

If both people feel it is disrespectful, then great. But odds are those that are saying it is have husbands who feel differently. If you love and trust eachother, and you are not insecure within yourself or the relationship, why is it such a bad thing?

My husband and I feel the same. We love and trust each other, and are not insecure in our relationship. I don't want to call it a 'bad thing'. In our marriage vows, we promised to 'forsake all others'. This activity would conflict with that promise, and disrespect that vow. I realize others feel differently, just wanted to explain my view.

 

[pearlieq]

Luckily DH doesn't seem to be all that into that sort of thing as his friends are pretty mature and civilized as well. I would be fairly perturbed if he wanted to go to a strip club--I wouldn't divorce him over it but I sure wouldn't be thrilled and ready to put out if we came home all riled up either! That would just be insulting!

It's such a waste of money too--you'd better believe he wouldn't be paying for it out of our budget--he'd best be ready to pack PB&J for a few days and save his lunch money because there's no way our money would go toward that!

I do think it's disrespectful to the spouse and to the marriage. How can it be acceptable for a man to say "I'm going to go pay to look at some other naked women now"? How can a wife not take that as an insult or slight? Do I get to say, "Hey I'm going to the gym now to see so I can watch the guy with the cute buns on the treadmill"?

Part of the reason I find it insulting is because it's intentional--he'd going there with the express purpose of ogling another women and becoming aroused by her. Sure, I might run into a cute guy at work or at the grocery store, but I don't go out expressly with the intent to cruise for one. Secondly, it's public and pushed in the spouse's face. There's no tact or discretion about why he's going there. Again, I may see someone cute or admire a movie actor, but I don't turn to DH and tell him all about why I find him hot and how great I think his body it. I would consider that to be rude and hurtful.

 

[TDC Nala]

I would think it's not a problem if they're just looking. I don't know if looking ever hurt anything.

$200 for a purse???

 

[noseybuddy]

I am always puzzled by the response some wives have about their husbands participating in this ritual...."Oh, he's so horned up when he comes home, that I benefit " Are you kidding? You find it flattering that your husband wants to have relations with you because Bubbles the Skank was just slidding up and down a pole in front of him or gyrating in his lap? I don't get it.

I

ITA I won't be flaming you, I agree with everything you said. I think it is disgusting for married men to go to these places and I do look at it as a form of cheating and disrepect to me.

 

[Buckalew11]

I totally agree with Cantw8.

BTW, I loved your first post about the Bubbles the Skank! LOL

 

[swea_pea1]

I have no probem with DH going to strip clubs, not that he does much anymore anyway since all his friends are married and that seems to be a single guy thing to do.

And if you make rules for eachother and fool yourself into believing it is okay for you to "forbid" your spouse from doing anything, in my opinion, isnt there a bigger problem?

 

[grlpwrd]

My husband and I feel the same. We love and trust each other, and are not insecure in our relationship. I don't want to call it a 'bad thing'. In our marriage vows, we promised to 'forsake all others'. This activity would conflict with that promise, and disrespect that vow. I realize others feel differently, just wanted to explain my view.

I feel the same way. It's not about insecurity with me.

Plus, the money, attention, and time spent there would be put to better use if spent with loved one's... or DIS vacations.

 

[DMickey28]

I don't like it at all. It makes me uncomfortable. Lucky for me Dh feels the same. I believe he may have gone to one while we were dating as a Bachelor Party, told me after as he didn't know that was the plan. Those places gross him out. He is a very conservative man, hates skinny women and tight, barely there clothing. I am lucky!

 

[Aidensmom]

If both people feel it is disrespectful, then great. But odds are those that are saying it is have husbands who feel differently. And if you make rules for eachother and fool yourself into believing it is okay for you to "forbid" your spouse from doing anything, in my opinion, isnt there a bigger problem?
If you love and trust eachother, and you are not insecure within yourself or the relationship, why is it such a bad thing?

My spouse and I love and trust each other, and are not insecure. I have not "forbid" my spouse from doing anything, he chooses not to out of respect for me. If he felt differently, he would tell me, the last thing we are afraid of is disagreeing. We feel the way Saphire described. That is a marriage vow that is important to us.

 

[chadfromdallas]

I don't like it at all. It makes me uncomfortable. Lucky for me Dh feels the same. I believe he may have gone to one while we were dating as a Bachelor Party, told me after as he didn't know that was the plan. Those places gross him out. He is a very conservative man, hates skinny women and tight, barely there clothing. I am lucky!

He also appears to be a liar

 

[Michie]

Me and the Dh go to one every once in awhile We like to go out for drinks and all the bars in our area are usually real loud and smoky. This one is a private club so it nice and they don't allow smoking We go in there to talk, sit in the back and listen to the music.

 

[Krissalee]

DH was a cab company owner for 10 years. He went to many bachelor parties at strip clubs, because he was paid to be the sober driver of the bus/van. He hated doing bachelor parties. He said it was a bunch of horny guys, going out, getting drunk, and making a fool 0f themselves. At the reputable places, the women dancing wounld not have anything to do with the guys, except in the rare case, where someone would offer to do something extra.

DH has been to bachelor parties since then, and I trust him completely. He told me that everything that is "offered" by dancers at a bachelor parties. He has been very open in admitting to me their suggestions, and it has been a good laugh for us.