Bachelor parties and Adult Entertainment...

[Melrosgirl]

I couldn't believe it, she needs to lighten up

Yeah, maybe, but my sister once said the same thing to me re: a similar subject (I also find it disrespectful to the marriage). Well, since then, my sister has had her man cheat on her two times (that she knows of). Was it with a stripper? No. My point is sometimes if you are too "allowing" of things, things get out of hand. having to lighten up a bit may not be a bad thing.

 

[Ava83]

I feel its no big deal...

 

[Bob Slydell]

I've been to a few, mostly for bachelor parties. Some were better than others, but as someone mentioned, it seems the older I get, the more boring they become. Last time I've been to one was for my brother's bachelor party. If think my brother and I were the only two guys at the party who could have cared less -- the rest of the guys (albeit mostly younger guys, in their early 20's) were all into it.

ETA -- DW didn't have a problem with it.

 

[lulugirl]

Doesn't bother me at all.

 

[SDFgirl]

I don't think it would bother me. DF has not been to a strip club since we've known each other. Most of our friends who have bachelor parties go to other venues, like a football game, golfing, or to a casino. DF says that he's been to them, but thinks they're just "okay" - nothing special. His lack of enthusiasm for them makes me feel more comfortable, I think.

 

[Cantw8]

I personally feel it's not only disrespectful to the marraige, but also disrespectful to the "performers" and objectifies them.

Not for me, thanks.

exactly. It is the "objectification" aspect that I also find unacceptable. Where do you draw the line of disrespect? Granted, there is mutual disrespect and explotation going on, but how does a man know when to turn it off and on? Would you treat your sister, mother, daughter, neighbor ect. like this? Like a form of entertainment? Hopefully, not. Then why would you participate in an arena that treats someone else's loved one like this? Just My Humble Thoughts.

 

[Aidensmom]

I do have a friend who throws a fit when her Dh even goes to Hooters for lunch! Last time her Dh went he slept on the couch for days!

I have trouble understanding how many people have a problem with Hooters, I know MANY women that are uncomfortable being there. We go there as a family to eat sometimes, sometimes at my suggestion!

Funny thing is that some of these same people will say they have no problem with their DH going to a strip club for a bachelor party .

Personally, I think going to a strip club is disrespectful to the marriage. If a single guy wants to go, that's a different thing. If my DH is invited to a bachelor party at one, it is his choice however if he wants to attend. He has been invited to one since we have been married, and he decided not to go.

 

[Hercules10]

I call it doing my civic duty.

 

[greenyskp]

I had posted about this subject a long time ago in a far away place called the Debate Board and boy, did I get blasted.
I do not feel that it is appropriate for married men to visit strip clubs. The man is engaging in a sexual situation (nakedness, arousal, gyration ect.) with someone that is not his spouse. To me, that is cheating and disrespecting the wife. (for the record, I feel the same way about male strip clubs).

I am always puzzled by the response some wives have about their husbands participating in this ritual...."Oh, he's so horned up when he comes home, that I benefit " Are you kidding? You find it flattering that your husband wants to have relations with you because Bubbles the Skank was just slidding up and down a pole in front of him or gyrating in his lap? I don't get it.

I am far from a prude, and I do not suffer from any insecurity issues (well, not many LOL), I just do not understand how this behavior became socially acceptable. Sorry for the rant...flame away.

No flame. To each their own. Would you feel the same if your husband looked at porn? Or watched pornos?

I think its unrealilistic to think that every time you and your husband (or fiance or boyfriend or whatever) 'get together' hes only thinking of you and you alone.

DONT flame me. And take that to an extreme. Of course your on his mind. But every guy (and girl) fantaizes and visualized other things some times. My boyfriends have, and I have from time to time. The point is, we've talked about it. (obviously not during....many days later) And we laughed.

 

[Shugardrawers]

Yeah, maybe, but my sister once said the same thing to me re: a similar subject (I also find it disrespectful to the marriage). Well, since then, my sister has had her man cheat on her two times (that she knows of). Was it with a stripper? No. My point is sometimes if you are too "allowing" of things, things get out of hand. having to lighten up a bit may not be a bad thing.

Let's keep this in context please. The person I referred to made her Dh sleep on the sofa for days because he went to Hooters for lunch with friends. I did plainly state that. I'm pretty sure he wasn't thinking of anything other than how hot he wanted to order his wings and I'm sure the waitress wasn't expecting a $10 bill to be tucked in her shorts.

 

[Cantw8]

No flame. To each their own. Would you feel the same if your husband looked at porn? Or watched pornos?

I think its unrealilistic to think that every time you and your husband (or fiance or boyfriend or whatever) 'get together' hes only thinking of you and you alone.

DONT flame me. And take that to an extreme. Of course your on his mind. But every guy (and girl) fantaizes and visualized other things some times. My boyfriends have, and I have from time to time. The point is, we've talked about it. (obviously not during....many days later) And we laughed.

I know exactly what you are saying, no flames Of course I know he fantasizes as do I on occassion. The difference here is, we don't jump in bed at night and ask each other, "so, did anyone turn you on today?". If the thought is there, it is private for the moment (given the circumstances, maybe it should be.) Now, if he comes home from a strip club all hands and lips, then I know that it is not me that inspired the behavior. Does that make sense? It's being thrown in my face as to why he is so amourous.

 

[Melrosgirl]

I did plainly state that.

Um, yeah you did, and I also plainly stated that my sister said something "re: a similar subject." How's that? Similar subject meaning not the same as what you are talking about.

 

[Rajah]

I personally feel it's not only disrespectful to the marraige, but also disrespectful to the "performers" and objectifies them.

Not for me, thanks.

Exactly.

 

[Rozzie]

Ok, let me put on my flame suit on.

DH and I don't go to strip clubs, or bars. We did all that in our wild days, and find no need to do it now. We are "the old married couple". I love our marriage, and so glad those days are past us. We both quit drinking 5 years ago, so there really is no desire for these type of things.

 

[kerrynic78]

My DH had 2 strippers at his bachelor party this past September. I didn't think that I would care at all until the night of his party and me sitting at home with some girlfriends sick to my stomach thinking about what exactly was going on. The only thing that got me through it was knowing that my dad and 2 brothers were there so my DH wouldn't dare do anything even questionable...... (at least that is what I tell myself!!)

 

[scarlett873]

Whatever works for a couple. If a wife is comfortable with it, lucky husband. If not, then hopefully the husband is respectful of her feelings.

I couldn't have said it better myself!

My first husband...his buddies took him out and I about had a stroke! I was so upset over the whole idea...I was also 21 years old and very self-conscious about myself and our relationship...well, that marriage certainly didn't last (but not due to the strip club deal...lol)

My current DH...I trust him implicitly. If he were to go out with his buddies to a strip club, I know, without a doubt, that he would never put himself in a situation that would make me uncomfortable later on. He's a man...he likes to look, and I know this. But I also know that he loves me...fought tooth and nail for me...he's not foolish enough to do anything to jeopardize our marriage. And I know that he finds me to be the most beautiful and sexiest woman on the planet to him. There is nothing else out there that will turn his head away from me, no matter how hard she may shake her jubblies ( ) in his direction!

 

[jennyl772003]

I have no problem with it, in moderation. I had a BF that was a little crazy that way, but he had problems.

My DH actually was a bouncer in many strip clubs.

 

[Michie]

Don't see what the big deal is I have been to them with my DH, don't see what all the fuss is about

 

[tiggersmom2]

Different things work for different marriages.......strip clubs will NOT be a part of my marriage. DH has been invited to bachelor parties but turned them all down...he would rather be at home with me.

 

[malibuconlee]

It used to bother me, until I actually went to one. It's really not that big of a deal.

The wildest thing I ever saw at one was at a bachelorette party I went to a couple of months ago. The only places around here have women dancers, no clubs where the men dance. The planner of the party decided we were going to take the bride and buy her a dance. It was so funny, and by far the wildest thing I've ever seen in a club. Some of the women there had never been and they looked scarred for life, but it was really funny.

By the way, the nicer the place the less you have to worry about. But even in the less nice places, the girls are just there to make money. They really dont' care about much else, except maybe having a few drinks.