Awkward and sad family situation...

[Annadesu]

I am currently 6.5 months pregnant. My older sister was also pregnant, but was 2 months behind me. She miscarried recently, and is obviously very upset about it.

If that wasn't hard enough, she now has to watch me continue to grow, have my baby shower in a few weeks, and give birth. We also BOTH had boys. So whenever something blue or boy-centric pops up, it'll probably remind her of it, too.

I was going to send her flowers in the mail (She did have a blood transfusion, so "Get Well" flowers work). She's on the other side of the country. I'm just not sure what else I can say or do at this point.

Would it be a crappy thing to keep celebrating openly about my son arriving soon? It's my first child, so people are making a fuss over it in general.

Anyone else had to deal with something like this? I just don't know what to do or say, at this point.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Keep celebrating. I mean, I would be there for her, but I don't think it's unreasonable to be excited about your own baby. I would not put her in charge of shower arrangements or anything like that, but I think she's probably still excited for you, even if right now, she's grieving and she may need time.

 

[bdcp]

We have friends whose two sons wives were expecting boys within a couple of months of each other. The younger of the two brother's wife went into premature labor about 8 weeks early and due to him having a massive infection (which probably caused her premature labor), he passed away within hours of his birth. The older brother already has one child and had their baby boy a couple of months ago. Honestly, while the one who lost their baby were upset, grieving, etc, they were also happy for the new baby. There is no perfect thing to say other than I'm sorry and we're all here for you. The two are separate events and she has to decide what she wants to be exposed to.

 

[Mary74]

I had the same thing happen with my cousin. Our due dates for our first girls were one week apart and she lost her baby at 23 weeks. At first I felt awkward but then I was just honest with her. I told her how I felt, that I was afraid to hurt her and wasn't sure how to help her grieve. I told her I didn't want to exclude her from anything but that I definitely didn't want to add to her grief. It ended up being an amazing talk and everything worked itself out.