Avoiding Gay Days- Not bashing the weekend just have kids and need help

[oregonkids]

We are travelling to Disneyland in October 2008 when we will have a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Our plan is to go from October 6th-10th. We know that the Gay Days weekend is the 3rd-5th and that the big day at Disneyland is the Saturday the 4th.

Please don't take this with hostility. We just have heard that there is quite a big of PDA (for lack of a better term) amounts GLBT couples during that Saturday. And, we just aren't ready to deal with that with our kids at this young age.

We are trying to avoid this by going during the week rather than the weekend. Does anyone have experience with going to the park/Anaheim the week after Gay Days? Do you still find you are having to deal with this issue a lot?

I hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings. I'm just a mom needing some insight to protect her kids and avoid a very difficult topic.

 

[boiseflyfisher]

We were there during Gay Days 2007. It was VERY crowded in the parks. We had our concerns, but I can honestly say that we saw no PDAs. Even though you are going to be there after, expect the crowds to be larger for the first couple of days of your trip.

 

[autumnbaby9]

You will probably see more PDA's from the teenagers then the people who hang around after gaydays.

 

[ramkam]

We have been to Disneyland Resort on the Friday before that weekend and you would not know any event was going on at least in the parks. Same with the days right after. You can also go to the web site for the event and see which park will be the primary focus of the event each day. I believe it is usually Disneyland on Saturday and California Adventure on Sunday. The week after is business as usual at the parks. We usually just stay away from the parks on the days when any group is having a large unofficial Disneyland day. Have a great trip.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

You're not ready to deal with "that?" They are 1 and 3, do you honestly think they care at that age if a same sex couple hold hands or share a quick kiss? There are a million things for them to lay their eyes upon at Disneyland, what makes you think they care to waste even a second of their time looking to see who is holding hands? The only person who would notice a same sex couple holding hands or sharing a quick kiss is you. And believe you me, you'll be far more likely to see such behavior among your fellow heterosexuals. Frankly, it sounds to me like you're uncomfortable being around "that" and you're using your kids as reason to justify your question on this board.

And just out of curiosity; what do you have to "protect" your kids from? Do you think your kids are in danger? Do you think there will be lesbian couples having sex on main street? Do you think gay men are waiting in Adventure Land to molest your kids? Do you think we will have our recruiters waiting at Tomorrowland to lure them with offers of free toys if we can get them to commit to becoming gay in 14 years? Or do you think it is contagious and you might leave Fantasy Land yearning for a woman? Just curious. As a lesbian mother of a well-adjusted 16 year old, I fail to see what dangers are lurking in the presence of homosexual people at Disneyland.

By the way, you better avoid the Finding Nemo ride. Dory likes girls!

 

[kylieh]

Hi - we'll be there at the same time and due to the crowds we're planning on heading to Legoland, maybe a shopping day, etc. We may do the fireworks on either the Friday night or Sunday night. Being from Sydney and hosting GLb Mardi Gras I don't think that DD5 would even notice a PDA as being anything.

 

[flyinshirer]

I think that this is a very good question to ask! Thanks for putting it on here.
Granted...your 1 year old won't have a clue but I really think that the 3 yr old would ask questions. You are the parent and know your kids better than anyone else!
My mother-in-law is a lesbian and I love her to death! I feel lucky to have her is my life. I couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law!! However, I don't feel comfortable around that lifestyle so I choose not to be. She doesn't even flaunt it with her partner. My kids are 8 and 10 and they have never figured out about Gma.
My point is, it's ok if you are uncomfortable going on Gay Days weekend. You are spending a lot of $$$ to go to DL. Go during a time that YOUR FAMILY is feeling good about the timing!
Good luck!
BTW - We went the weekend after that Day and had a blast.

 

[actionvaughn]

I get the general idea of what you're trying to ask, but I'd have to say that if you're coming from a very conservative area and don't see GLBT couples too often, Disneyland is a going to be big eye-opener. People of all different backgrounds come to DLR and you'll find that GLBT couples are no different than straight couples in terms of PDA. If what you're asking is if there's a chance your one and three year old might encounter a GLBT couple if you choose to go after Gay Days, (and ask you questions about it) I can almost guarantee it. Like any other vacationers, there will no doubt that some will choose to prolong their stay in the parks. The chance you see a couple doing obscene is another story.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Taking a leap and assuming that a three year old at Disneyland would notice or care:

Child: Mommy, those two girls are holding hands.
Mom: Yes they are, they must like each other a lot.
Child: Can we ride Pirates of Caribbean again?

Child: Mommy, that guy kissed his friend.
Mom: Wow, they must be really, really good friends then!
Child: Mom, will you buy me some popcorn?

That is the extent of it. Kids don’t care nearly as much as YOU care. If it’s an older kid who can understand more:

Child: Mom, those two girls just kissed!
Mom: Yes, sometimes two boys or two girls love each other in the same way that me and Daddy love each other. There are many different kinds of families here at Disneyland!
Child: Oh. Where are we eating dinner today?

If it’s an older child, the kid may also possibly ask your views on the subject. If you’re not a bigot you simply say, “love is never wrong and there are many different ways to be a family.” If your religious beliefs make you uncomfortable with homosexuals, you can tell your child in a one sentence statement why you feel that way. I promise you, your kids will not care to make a big issue of it in the middle of Disneyland. They are going to be more interested in the rides, characters, foods, smells, buildings, other kids, and Halloween decorations if you're there in October.

But as I said earlier, I seriously doubt this is about the kids as much as it is about the parents' negative feelings. But I do agree with the previous poster; if you're uncomfortable with it, don't go. Nobody expects you to approve if you don't. But the OP's questions was a bit offensive in suggesting they have to protect their kids from gay people! Good grief! I seriously thought we were past the dark ages!

 

[flyinshirer]

If your religious beliefs make you uncomfortable with homosexuals, you can tell your child in a one sentence statement why you feel that way. I promise you, your kids will not care to make a big issue of it in the middle of Disneyland. They are going to be more interested in the rides, characters, foods, smells, buildings, other kids, and Halloween decorations if you're there in October.

But as I said earlier, I seriously doubt this is about the kids as much as it is about the parents' negative feelings. But I do agree with the previous poster; if you're uncomfortable with it, don't go. Nobody expects you to approve if you don't. But the OP's questions was a bit offensive in suggesting they have to protect their kids from gay people! Good grief! I seriously thought we were past the dark ages!

Very well put. Your other post got me a little worried. But I have to say that you said this perfect! I wish that more people would see that although we dont' have to agree with that lifestyle (just like someone may not agree with smoking, drinking, Harry Potter, etc) that we still called to love each other and live life in peace. I worked for a guy who was so homophobic that I could never tell him about mom because he considered sitting with a gay person is the same as sitting with a child moloster or murderer. WAY WRONG!!! I had to talk to my pastor to get through hearing a lot of thoughts that he put in my head. I learned that when my kids start asking questions, I will give them a simple answer: We don't have to agree with them, but we love them anyways, just as Christ loves us!!
Ok....enough preaching.....
Enjoy DL when you decide to go!

 

[tommycairns]

Interesting thread, feel like going out and burning some books, or maybe I might wake up and find it is now the 21st century!
Who cares? I find that overt sexual behaviour is more prevalent amongst the straight population, I find that gays generally behave with more decency and restraint in public, and I am sure that "Queer as Folk" is just a fictional TV drama, and not all gay individuals that "forward". Now what books can we burn this week?

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Very well put. Your other post got me a little worried. But I have to say that you said this perfect! I wish that more people would see that although we dont' have to agree with that lifestyle (just like someone may not agree with smoking, drinking, Harry Potter, etc) that we still called to love each other and live life in peace. I worked for a guy who was so homophobic that I could never tell him about mom because he considered sitting with a gay person is the same as sitting with a child moloster or murderer. WAY WRONG!!! I had to talk to my pastor to get through hearing a lot of thoughts that he put in my head. I learned that when my kids start asking questions, I will give them a simple answer: We don't have to agree with them, but we love them anyways, just as Christ loves us!!
Ok....enough preaching.....
Enjoy DL when you decide to go!

While I do appreciate what you are saying, it is noteworthy that you were "worried" about my first post, but not the OP's comments. She came right out and said her kids needed protected from gay and lesbian people! Now if that isn't insulting, I sure don't know what is!

I really don't care if people don't want to be around me. I, and most every gay and lesbian person I know, have an abundance of friends. That is a perk of being gay! You have a huge extended family. I don't need for every person in the world to approve. But the way the OP brought the whole thing up was not the best way to do it! I'm not Christian and don't prefer to be around that lifestyle. But I would never get on a public message board and express concern about a Christian-religious group being at Disneyland. Can you imagine if I had started this thread and said, "I really don't want to have to explain that to my kid...I'm just protecting her." Let's be frank, it would have been offensive. You would probably want to know what it is about you that I find so dangerous that I have to "protect" my child from you!

In actuality, I do have Christian friends. Quite a few actually. There's actually a lot of gay and lesbian people who are Christian! I just wanted to make a point. As a lesbian, I get jaded from these kinds of questions. I much prefer the people who ask in a more subtle way; I'm going to Disney and it is around gay-days. We don't mind being around gay people, but we're worried about the excessive crowds. Will the event still be going on at these times....? At least they don't come out and say, "we're afraid for our kids' safety!" Homophobia is alive and well, but MOST people in this day and age at least make the effort to realize that they are referring to real, live, living, breathing people with feelings.

Interesting that you mentioned Harry Potter. I was at a midnight book sale with my daughter once and somebody was in the store handing Bibles out to people preaching about how we're all gonna go to hell for buying the book. Yee haw!

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Interesting thread, feel like going out and burning some books, or maybe I might wake up and find it is now the 21st century!
Who cares? I find that overt sexual behaviour is more prevalent amongst the straight population, I find that gays generally behave with more decency and restraint in public, and I am sure that "Queer as Folk" is just a fictional TV drama, and not all gay individuals that "forward". Now what books can we burn this week?

I would say Harry Potter is still a popular choice!

 

[flyinshirer]

Interesting that you mentioned Harry Potter. I was at a midnight book sale with my daughter once and somebody was in the store handing Bibles out to people preaching about how we're all gonna go to hell for buying the book. Yee haw!

And...the people handing out Bibles at a Harry Potter sale is one of the reasons that people don't like Christians! I happen to think that the Harry Potter craze is cool. I have friends who don't allow their kids to watch it because of "magic" Hellllllooooo.......what is all the Disney movies? Just wanted to point out that.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

And...the people handing out Bibles at a Harry Potter sale is one of the reasons that people don't like Christians! I happen to think that the Harry Potter craze is cool. I have friends who don't allow their kids to watch it because of "magic" Hellllllooooo.......what is all the Disney movies? Just wanted to point out that.

You would love my house then! We are Harry Potter freaks and my house is like a Harry Potter museum! lol! We have collected all the toys, legos, and collectibles for years now. The whole HP craze has been such a wonderful bonding experience for my daughter and me. She literally grew up with the HP kids.

But yeah, the people handing out the Bibles are indeed the brand of Christians that make non-Christians weary. I've had to struggle with my own demons in that regard. I've had to remind myself that the Christians who are extreme in that way are rare, as are gay people who act disgraceful in public! There are far more good people in this world than there are bad, and the older I get, the more I realize this!

 

[mariezp]

While I do appreciate what you are saying, it is noteworthy that you were "worried" about my first post, but not the OP's comments. She came right out and said her kids needed protected from gay and lesbian people! Now if that isn't insulting, I sure don't know what is!

In defense of the OP, I believe she could have chosen a different word than "protect". However, I am sure her intentions WERE NOT to insult anyone. The whole tone of her post is very apologetic for even asking but it certainly shouldn't be insulting for her to be asking questions concerning her own children.
I too had concerns when my children were younger simply because they had never been around any GLBT couples. I just felt that I'd rather not be discussing it in a public place... just like I wouldn't want to be standing in line explaining sex or anything else surrounded with people. But, you are also right in the fact that when the subject did eventually come up when she was older, it was merely mentioned and off to another subject. We have been lucky to have not been exposed to any indiscret PDAs by any couples, GLBT or otherwise, so far. IMHO, I would prefer not to be a witness myself to some of the things I have heard go on!
In answer to her original post. I imagine the crowds will be much calmer after the weekend so you have made a good choice to avoid crowds by going during the week. Have a fantastic time!

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

In defense of the OP, I believe she could have chosen a different word than "protect". However, I am sure her intentions WERE NOT to insult anyone. The whole tone of her post is very apologetic for even asking but it certainly shouldn't be insulting for her to be asking questions concerning her own children.
I too had concerns when my children were younger simply because they had never been around any GLBT couples. I just felt that I'd rather not be discussing it in a public place... just like I wouldn't want to be standing in line explaining sex or anything else surrounded with people. But, you are also right in the fact that when the subject did eventually come up when she was older, it was merely mentioned and off to another subject. We have been lucky to have not been exposed to any indiscret PDAs by any couples, GLBT or otherwise, so far. IMHO, I would prefer not to be a witness myself to some of the things I have heard go on!
In answer to her original post. I imagine the crowds will be much calmer after the weekend so you have made a good choice to avoid crowds by going during the week. Have a fantastic time!

You are from basically the same perspective of the OP, so it is impossible for you to know just how nasty her comments were. Try to imagine it from a different perspective. If I said to you that I don't want my daughter around your "kind," be it based on your skin color, your religion, your eye color, your weight, your sexual orientation, or any other factor that strongly defines who you are....is there ANY amount of apologizing that could make it less insulting? If I implied that my daughter needed protected from the likes of you, is there anything I could possibly say or do to take the sting off the intent of my post? Saying ugly things in a friendly or apologetic tone does not make them less ugly. If I tell you with a nice warm smile that you are fat and ugly (you're not! I'm just using this as an example) and I don't want my kid around you because she might think it's ok to overeat, would any amount of apologizing make that any less cruel?

One other comment (to anybody worried about this) about explaining the issue of sexual orientation to your kids. Stop focusing so much about the sex aspect. It makes y'all sound perverse. If you're standing in line and your kid asks you about a gay couple, please don't bring sex up! That would be odd! Being gay is about who we LOVE way more than who we have sex with. You don't have to explain sex to your kids in regards to gays anymore than you explain sex to your kids in regards to your OWN relationships. Unless y'all got a lot more excitement going on than we do, sex is a very small part of all our relationships. When explaining same sex relationships, it really is as simple as telling your kids that some boys love boys and some girls love girls. They don't want to or need to know what anybody, straight or gay, does behind closed doors. Love is about commitment, families, holidays, vacations, grocery shopping together, watching football together, gardening, cooking dinner, and cleaning house together. We do all the same exact things that you do...simply with somebody of the same gender. Sex is no more a part of who we are than it is a part of who you are. It's fun, we do it sometimes, but 99% of our life is the same, dull, day to day stuff that you guys do, except we prefer to do it with somebody of the same gender. It really doesn't have to go into complicated explanations for young years! Kids understand family! They don't understand sex, nor do they need to. Explain it in terms that they are familiar with and I swear to you guys, it will be simple and painless! I have never heard of anybody say that it was difficult answering their child's questions about homosexuality. Everybody dreads it, but when it finally happens, it is the most non-significant issue in the world to them.

By the way, I hate PDAs too. Ick! I think there are a lot of rumors going around about what is happening at gay days. Don't waste another minute of your life thinking on those rumors. The vast majority of people I know who have gone to gay days have seen nothing more than some couples holding hands. Now and then a gay couple might share a quick peck. Only on the rarest of occasions does somebody *really* see an inappropriate PDA between two people, either gay or straight and even on gay days. If anybody tells you that gay days are full of obnoxious behavior and PDAs, you may count on it that they are lying. I've been to gay days and I know many people who have, gay and straight, and the rumors are just that...ugly rumors designed to bring homosexuals down. Sure, you may have the bad luck of running into a stray couple who has something to prove, but they are the exception and ten to one, you'd see it on time to turn your kid the other way. I almost get the impression that some people are convinced that at gay days, they have to put a blind fold on their kids to keep all the sex out of their eyes. It really is not like that! Most of us, in fact, would get majorly pissed off if we saw one of "our own" behaving that way. We know it makes us all look bad and none of us want that!

 

[pumpkin5156]

Goodness gracious people. Dakota~ you need to chill out. If you even read her opening post you would clearly see that she was not trying to be insulting. She is clearly trying to skirt being offensive to anyone, and you jumped all over her.

She obviously wants to avoid any exposure to that type of PDA and as a parent, that is her right and her choice. Leave it be.

 

[JadeDarkstar]

wow some ppl have ome big oppinions here jesse I totaly understand te posters fears. I am so sorry for some of the ppls posts here towads you.you are not being bad. I fear what my 6 year old willsay on gay days when were'll there. I have pesonal problems with gays my self becous my brother is gay and Ive seen the stuff hes done.

Look if I were you Id just make sure to keep you'll kidsbussy with the park and the rides and tell them what ill tell my son. they love each other thatsall that matters but heisnt to make his mind up on those things till he is older. as a kid he will be brought up to love girls

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

Goodness gracious people. Dakota~ you need to chill out. If you even read her opening post you would clearly see that she was not trying to be insulting. She is clearly trying to skirt being offensive to anyone, and you jumped all over her.

She obviously wants to avoid any exposure to that type of PDA and as a parent, that is her right and her choice. Leave it be.

Good gracious, why don't YOU chill out! When the opportunity presents itself to educate people, I will do just that. Many people on this thread have a very incorrect idea about what happens at gay days. I am correcting them. Many people think it will be harder than it has to be to explain gays to their kids. I'm offering solutions as to how to make it easier. If you don't like it, by all means, skip over what I write.

You know what? There was a time when it was considered acceptable in the name of the innocence of people's young kids that they not be exposed to interracial couples. I remember growing up hearing people say the same thing: How do we explain that kind of relationship to little Johnny? Thank God, we're out of the dark ages as far as that is concerned, but we didn't get here by letting people get away with comments designed to insult and hold back blacks. I'm glad people are concerned about their children. But I'm sure not going to sit back and pretend that there is any validity to protecting them from gay people! Someday people will look back on that kind of homophobia and shake their heads at the way things use to be. But "used to be" will never happen if people sit by and let such comments be made without calling people on them. If the OP reads everything I've written and still feels that she needs to protect her kids against gays, fine, so be it. But hopefully she will at least have the sensitivity to not insult a huge group of people. I honestly don't think it was her intention to insult, but she sure as hell DID insult! And she needs to pay more attention to the way she says things if she doesn't want to sound like a bigot.