There are 6 rain showers, but good luck getting all of them to work. We finally had to track down an attendant when no amount of stomping, clapping or waving of body parts seemed to activate some of the sensors. Apparently it takes faith, trust and, oh yes, pixie dust....
Just for you, dear reader, Patrick demonstrates each of the rain showers, which he has also helpfully named:
Blame it on the Rain
The Piddler
Schweitzer Falls
The Crotch Washer
Hose Your Daddy?
There was only one other couple there while we were in the garden, and we each kinda tiptoed around the other to make sure we werent intruding. As they left, the guythe guy!came over to us and told me my vow renewal hairdo looked awesomeLOL!
These rooms overlook the hydrotherapy gardenbe sure to keep that swimsuit on!
Eventually somebody came looking for us because it was time for our treatments. Choosing a treatment had been a bit overwhelming since they have so many different versions and combinations of the same three things: massage, scrub and moisturize (I decided to skip facials, manicures, and other salon services that I felt I could probably get done better for less in LA). Im also sorta leery of spas in general, since they seem so overpriced for what you get. And Laniwai is definitely at the eye-popping end of the price spectrum, which they try to downplay by keeping the price list in a separate PDF rather than printing prices next to the treatment names. So it took a lot of comparing of the menu with the price list to figure out what was what and how many mortgages Id need to afford a spa day.
Usually I skip the couples treatments because it seems like spa services are so much a personal, individual experience that youd barely be aware of another person in the same room let alone share some kind of romantic moment as youre both flayed alive by a pair of hefty ex-Special Forces masseuses named Olga and Helga. But with you, dear reader, in mind again, I bit the bullet this time because a couples treatment seemed like the kind of thing one would do on an anniversary. When none of the couples combos on the website sounded like they fit both of us, I phoned the spa and learned that you can do pretty much any combination of treatments in the same room with your significant other. So I signed Patrick up for the 50-minute traditional Hawaiian LomiLomi massage and me up for the Waiwai Body Cocoon Volcanic (signature exfoliation, moisturizing and detoxifying body cocoon).
There were two attendants waiting for us in the room. First they had us sniff the customized scents wed created out in the hydrotherapy garden, then they left the room so we could get under the sheets on our beds. When they came back, they had us choose from four different types of background music. The first three all sounded like variations on the same theme (Cat Sleeping on a Synthesizer); the fourth was traditional Hawaiian music. Traditional Hawaiian music it was!
Patrick loves massages, and this one was no exception. I got scrubbed and cocooned in volcanic mud, then sent to our private restroom to wash off before getting moisturized. I dont remember much of this cuz I actually fell asleep, I was so relaxed. For once I wasnt thinking ahead to the next activity on the list!
Eventually it was time to leave. Our attendants gently woke us and gave us a few minutes to fumble into our robes. When they came back, we blinked groggily, barely comprehending as they offered to take our picture.
Where am I, and whos this guy standing next to me?
Id forgotten to bring a change of clothes and didnt want to get back into my soggy bathing suit (Patrick was the only one who recognized the bathing suit dryer in the mens locker room; I thought ours was for polishing rocks with Hawaiian words on them), so they let me wear my spa robe back to our room. We floated out to the reception area to settle our bill and make impulse buys.
When I have my wits about me, I never buy the products they foist on you at salons and spas because I can almost always find them cheaper on eBay. In my dazed state I was talked into a pricey tub of Maile Coconut Vanilla body polish, but fortunately Laniwai was out of the Ola Coconut Lemongrass lotion I liked. I picked it up for half price on eBay when I got home, and I have to say this little combo of lotion and scrub is probably my favorite souvenir of Hawaiithe scent instantly transports me!
Also, they do give you a tiny sample of your custom scrub to take home, plus a packet of bath salts.
I'm all caught up now. Your part 2 shots turned out amazing of course. I love the lava shots - don't think I would have thought about that rustic backdrop, but the contrast is great Guess that's why I'm not a photographer or designer.
Favorite pose was with the undercarriage shower. 
You are so witty.
