Since Grumbo and Jazzman have decided to go upscale now. Here's a few thought to live by.
J.G.ENTERPRISES RULES OF ETIQUETTE
DINING OUT
When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup,
and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the wine.
If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your
fingers covering the label.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared
by a taxidermist. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table... no
matter how good his manners are.
DATING (Outside the Family)
Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first
date. Be aggressive. Let her know you are interested: "I've been
wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the men's
bathroom wall two years ago.
Establish with her parents what time she is expected back.
Some will say 10:00 pm; Others might say Monday. If it is
the latter, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school
on time.
THEATER ETIQUETTE
Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up
immediately after the movie has ended. Refrain from talking
to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear
you.
DRIVING ETIQUETTE
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun
is loaded and the deer is in sight. When approaching a four way
stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of
way. Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is
impolite to ask her to bring beer back. Never relieve yourself
from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. Do not lay
rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
Never take a beer to a job interview.
Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is
still considered tacky to drive a U-haul to the funeral home.
)
LOL!!!!
