At what age...

[ebtbmom]

When my son was 10 we got him a cell phone so he could wait at exits for us on rides he didn't want to do. He could wait with us in line and take the "chicken exit" straight to the end so he was only by himself for the length of time we were on the ride. He did fine with it, he's a pretty mature, responsible person.

I think she'd probably be fine. Maybe you could try her with 5 minutes first and if both of you are comfortable slowly add minutes.

I know people say that we live in a terribly dangerous world and there's sickos and creeps everywhere, but how true is that really? Perhaps it's more harmful to teach your child that everyone is out to get them. We can still be safe and allow kids to begin exploring the world on their own.

I was listening to a talk radio show the other day and the host was saying that numbers of violent crimes against children are less than 50 years ago. Now every time something happens we just all know about it because of internet and cable.
Something to think about!

 

[tink929]

If it were my child, I would be willing to do short separations and test the waters. My girl is 5, and we already are developing her independence in little ways whenever we can. I agree with the previous posters about the world not being as scary as we're led to believe. I've read studies about how violent crime against children peaked in the late 80's to mid-90's - the time frame that I was out riding my bike for miles alone, as long as I was home for dinner!

Only you know your child, and if you both feel comfortable with it, go for it.

 

[FlameGirl]

Thanks everyone...really good discussion and points.

And I guess we will just have to see how it goes when we get there. We talked to her a little bit and she was excited at the prospect of a bit more independence, but when she said something to the effect of "Oh, so when you ride Space Mountain, I can go ride Alice in Wonderland..." she was met with an immediate "uh, no" - I know I wouldn't be comfortable with her leaving one "land" and venturing off to another.

Like I said...I'll probably don a pair of Groucho Marx nose/glasses and watch her from behind trees if we do decide to let her go off on her own for a short period of time. And then probably get hauled in by security for stalking my own kid.

I'll let you know how it goes after our trip...if we actually do feel good enough about letting her out of our sight.

I appreciate everyone's input!

 

[alvernon90]

This is very interesting to me, because the answers completely went in the opposite direction of where I thought they would go. When I was 10 I lived on a military base in Japan, and I was allowed to ride my bike off the base by myself after school and on weekends. I rode around a big city where I didn't speak the language and could barely read any of the signs, and I had no cell phone to contact my parents if I got lost or in trouble. My friends sometimes went with me. I thought it was normal. Apparently not, at least not by today's standards.

In a controlled environment like Disneyland, I think a 10 year old would be perfectly fine, if s/he wanted to be alone.

 

[MyMonkies]

I haven't had a chance to read the other replies so forgive me if I'm repeating here. I also have a 10 year old & I wouldn't do it personally. I have started slowly allowing a little bit more freedom BUT it's always with a buddy, etc.-never on her own.

Also, we were there in May & went on the Roger Rabbit ride. This little girl who was alone buddied up with us in line talking to my kids. When we got up to get in the car the CM asked how many in our group. I told him 3-this other little girl said 4 (to include herself with us). The guy looked totally confused so I had to explain. I have to tell you that this CM seemed less than pleased that this girl was at this ride alone-her family was outside. The guy left it up to me to allow her to ride with us or not. If I had to guess I would say she was 10'ish. So, she wasn't refused the ride but it certainly seemed frowned on. AND, myself as a parent was floored that, even though an adult wasn't going to ride with her, that nobody accompied her into this building!

Anyway, for a 10 y.o.-my answer would be NO.

 

[Mortimer Mouse]

I'm with the group that feels 10 is to young to be on their own by themselves in the Parks. Here in California I can't even have my 10 year old sit in the front seat with me due to safety/height issues and air bags. How would I allow my 10 year old roam around with thousands of people with out me? Disney's Family time, enjoy it together......

 

[bumbershoot]

7 is the age to ride alone, officially.


At 10 I was running around Great America in Santa Clara by myself or with other 10 year old friends.


While I don't know what DS will be like at 10, I can tell you that you cannot guarantee that anyone can DO anything inside of 15 minutes at Disneyland, and you can't even guarantee that anyone will be anywhere inside of 15 minutes. I look at the Entertainment Times Guides a lot, but I don't pay a lot of attention to the time, and on one day last June, I was surprised by that stupid Block Party Bash thing THREE times. And I was 39 at the time! 3 times! If I'd been trying ot meet someone, to be stopped cold by that thing, I would have missed the rendezvous.

So I think 15 minutes is completely unrealistic, no matter the age.



I would have been absolutely fine at 10.


And as for this day and age...anyone who has taken Roman History knows that we have it VERY VERY good, in THIS day and age....

 

[callmeblissful]

I, like some of the PPs, began doing some things on my own when I was 10ish. For instance, my parents let me go to a summer camp before 5th grade in New York at Vassar College (they got me settled in and then came to pick me up) for three weeks. Alone! Granted, there were adults there and checking in on us often, but I still had a lot of responsibility. Immediately afterward we went to a dude ranch in New York and my sisters and I were always allowed to go do whatever activities we pleased - they were all supervised. Riding horses, going in the pool, playing Bingo, going to the playground, you name it. We met up for meals but were pretty much alone all day.

I didn't go to Disneyland at that age specifically, but I went in 8th grade and could definitely wander off by myself if I wanted to. I'm 17 now, so I'm allowed to be by myself and with friends there. We take the train up from San Diego (safer than driving), taxi from the station to Disneyland, and stay all day.

Heck, last summer my siblings and I (me-15, my sister-14, my brother-12 at the time) were allowed to wander France by ourselves for a couple of hours. We had an apartment by the Louvre and went in that mall, even crossed the Seine and looked through all the alleys and at the cute little shops, all the way to the Musee d'Orsay. After seeing 'Taken', I'm questioning my dad's judgement on that one a little!

I am not a crazy teenager. I am a responsible and mature individual. None of this 'independence' has stunted my growth in any way, nor have I taken advantage of it. Obviously, I haven't come across any trouble either - even on the streets of London, New York, and France. Now, I have a friend who is given precious little independence, she is not allowed go anywhere on her own really (I'm talking almost 18.) She is going to be so freaked out when she goes off to college and her parents aren't there to guide her every move.

Point is, it's up to you. It is a good thing, a great thing for older kids to start developing their independence - and if you don't start letting your daughter bit by bit now, she will be overwhelmed by the world when you do start letting her! Yes, Disney time is family time, but if your daughter is anything like most 10 year olds, she will appreciate the pockets of time she has to herself and be more pleasant when with the family. Others may disagree, but I believe that Disneyland is one of the safest places to start letting her test the waters. It's crowded, but most of the people there are there because they want to be with their families and friends, not because they want to pick up little girls. Maybe in less expensive amusement parks, but not Disneyland. Of course, anything can happen anywhere, but I'm going to make an educated guess that Disneyland is one of the least likely places. Just my two cents!

 

[kelmac284]

I have an almost 10 year old (10 in Dec) and and 8 yaer old and the MOST I have ever done is let them go on the kiddie rides like the gadget coaster, chip and dales house or something where I can SEE them the entire time. Tea cups something like that and I sit and watch them. I don't ever let them go on something alone where I can't see them the entire time. But I agree with the other posters that I wouldn't let them go off exploring the park alone. In fact when I have had to use the restroom I make them go in with me even if they don't have to go and I always get AWW MOM! They like to stay out or whatever but I just DON'T trust people.

My youngest was FOLLOWING us off a ride at the state fair and we were all walking to the bathrooms and I turned around and she was gone. We "lost" her for over an hour at this HUGE fairgrounds and I FREAKED. I was so afraid I would never see her again and that was enough for me! I am WAY overprotective of my kids and you just can never be too careful!

I think they should be at LEAST 15 or 16 to go off on their own by that's just my own personal opinion. Good luck and have fun!

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I need to add to what I put earlier...

At 10, my kids would go off alone for short periods of time, like an hour to explore Tom Sawyer's Island without me.

However, we had annual passes and went to Disneyland a lot. When my daughter was 11, her friend also got an annual pass, and the other mom & I would take turns taking the girls to the park, and let them wander off, but we would be nearby. By the time they were 12 (both girls have had annual passes every year for quite some time), I would feel comfortable leaving them at the park by themselves (with money for food, etc), and would return when it was getting dark just because I felt better being there in case they needed me.

Both girls are 20 now, and still have APs, and still go to the parks a lot (crazy Disney lovers).

This is just to say that if my daughter were alone at a young age I wouldn't really want her wandering off alone, but if she were with a friend, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

This may sound lenient, but I'm the same mother who wouldn't let them out of our cul-de-sac until they were 10, and at that age they were allowed to go around the block IF they were with a group of friends ... and I timed them. So, I'd probably fall under the pretty darn protective mom group.

 

[Mugglemama]

in the past 4 years, i've seen at least one talk show where a known child sex predator had been at disneyland the day before, and also one blog where a group of southern california pedophiles discuss how they go to disneyland regularly to check out kids.

the fact is, when you're in the midst of tens of thousands of people, there are going to be a good number of pedophiles within that group. doesn't necessarily mean they're going to snatch or harm your daughter if they see her alone, but you know they're thinking about it. and how can anyone know when one will decide to strike?

also, in reference to what a PP said about never hearing of a child being molested or anything at disneyland, it doesn't mean it hasn't happened. it just means that the public didn't hear about it, and there are a lot of variables which could cause that to be the case.

i have 4 kids, ages 5-17, and i would never, ever, allow my kids to run off alone at disneyland at 10 years of age (and they are very, very familiar with the parks, they know every nook and cranny like the back of their hands). on our next trip planned for next summer, i would let my oldest (who will be 18 and is a college freshman who currently lives on campus) take my second oldest (who will be 12 on that trip) with her if she asked if they could go off by themselves for a bit, but even if they want to do that, my 9 and 5 year olds will be staying with DH and me. up to this point (100+ trips to DLR in the last 10 years), our kids have never even asked to go off by themselves....i don't even think it has occurred to them.

 

[oilergirl]

I think 10 years old is a WAY too young. I'd say 15 or 16, with a friend and a cell phone, would be fine. But I would never allow my 10 year old out of my site, at Disneyland or anywhere else that's full of strangers. As much as I'd like to think otherwise, even the "crazies" go to Disneyland. Better to be safe, than sorry.

 

[disneymum58]

This was the first year I let DS10 use the men's washroom by himself. We were travelling without dad. Even then, I would quickly use the washroom myself so he would not be waiting alone long. The parks were very crowded during our trip. Actually, the couple of times we went SR we even got to sit together!

 

[snickerboo]

My dd is almost ten and there's absolutely no way I'll be letting her go off by herself at DL. It's a very busy place that can be overwhelming for an adult, nevermind a child. I really don't think it's the right place to be giving them a little taste of freedom. If you want to treat her more like an adult, give her her own money to care for and spend, and a camera to take her own pictures.

 

[tink929]

You know, I remember thinking my parents were overprotective, but now I realize how not so much they were. When I was 10-14 I was allowed pretty much wherever my bike would go, and at barely 16 I went on a school trip to the UK and spent hours and hours exploring London by myself or with small groups of friends. I hope to be that kind of parent - even though it freaks my mother out, now that she's observing from the outside!

 

[FlameGirl]

My dd is almost ten and there's absolutely no way I'll be letting her go off by herself at DL. It's a very busy place that can be overwhelming for an adult, nevermind a child. I really don't think it's the right place to be giving them a little taste of freedom. If you want to treat her more like an adult, give her her own money to care for and spend, and a camera to take her own pictures.

Well it's certainly not as if we are choosing Disneyland for her very first opportunity to spread her wings a bit. We've been taking steps toward more independence for a while now.

And she's managed her own money at DLR as well as had her own camera for years.

Thanks though.

 

[Kittyskyfish]

I think 10 is a good age to have a bit of freedom at DL. Examples of this would be to let her ride the teacups for the nth time while you and DH sit on a bench and relax. You can sit near the attraction's exit so she won't have far to go once she leaves the ride. Or let her get some ice cream for herself while you're getting candy next door. Or again, wait for her while resting for a bit on a nearby curb.

I don't see a problem with short-term separation as long as it's predictable. A problem could arise if you try to break off and do separate rides at the same time, as wait times can vary unexpectedly. There's no need for her, or you, to be waiting around after the ride's over and not knowing what's going on.

Also, does she want to run to the other end of the park by herself? That's up to you and her maturity, but solo excursions like that can probably wait until everyone makes their way over there together.

 

[sillyjodes]

In a word, "no." While you may trust your daughter, do you really trust the general public that much?

 

[FlameGirl]

Also, does she want to run to the other end of the park by herself? That's up to you and her maturity, but solo excursions like that can probably wait until everyone makes their way over there together.

I think my husband and I are in total agreement with making sure she knows that we are all three to remain in the same land, if we do indeed go through with it. If we are all in fantasyland, we must all stay in fantasyland until we meet at the designated spot in....fantasyland. I'd not be comfortable with her traveling to a different area of the park.

We shall see.

 

[DisneyMomma81]

Well my DS is 9 and for our DLR visits this year it's been just the 3 of us. DD is not tall enough for Indiana Jones or Screamin' so DS rides those Single Rider - DS also has been a Fast Pass runner for us ~ DD & I wait in line for Thunder while he picks up a set of Fast Passes for Splash, this is always during the day never in the evening when it's dark. DS also enjoys Innoventions ~ DD and I have no interest in this so while he's hanging out in that building DD and I visit Small World. He always has a cell phone and knows if there's a problem to find a Cast Member. For our WDW visit last month he was never alone ~ that's a big place and it was his 1st visit.