At what age is it appropriate to give your child a cell phone?

[golfgal]

Kids should get a cell phone when their parents want them to or at LEAST by high school. Why, because everyone else is. People seem to forget quite quickly how important it is to fit in during middle school. Besides that, they are sure nice for the PARENTS to have.

Our rules, lose it/break it, you pay to replace it. Go over our plan minutes, you pay the difference. Neither of these have ever happened in the 6+ years our kids have had cell phones.

What a lot of parents seem to think is that by having all of these "rules" makes them better parents--they don't realize that their kids are going behind their backs breaking rules.

Kids can figure out that if they stay up until 1 AM texting their buddy that they will be tired the next day. If they do it too many days they can't function. Most kids will be able to put 2 and 2 together and turn off the phone so they can sleep--for one example.

 

[Mermaid02]

Kids should get a cell phone when their parents want them to or at LEAST by high school. Why, because everyone else is. People seem to forget quite quickly how important it is to fit in during middle school. Besides that, they are sure nice for the PARENTS to have.

Our rules, lose it/break it, you pay to replace it. Go over our plan minutes, you pay the difference. Neither of these have ever happened in the 6+ years our kids have had cell phones.

What a lot of parents seem to think is that by having all of these "rules" makes them better parents--they don't realize that their kids are going behind their backs breaking rules.

Kids can figure out that if they stay up until 1 AM texting their buddy that they will be tired the next day. If they do it too many days they can't function. Most kids will be able to put 2 and 2 together and turn off the phone so they can sleep--for one example.

I can think of many reasons for my high school age child to have a cell phone but THAT isn't one of them. Seriously, "because everyone else is" ??? If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you do that too? (the timeless parent comeback is still useful!)

 

[goofy!]

Agreed.

When they can pay for thier luxuries, which certainly sending texts that only say hi are, then can buy thier own phone.

While I got injured and in accidents while young, I never died because I didn't have a cell phone. Think about it, ever heard of someone crashing and dying while talking on a cell phone? Want to bet cell phones cost more lives than they save?

Where I live, sadly, several people die every season while skiing.

My kids are in after school activities and they do not "require" the use of a phone. We pick our kids up when activities are scheduled to end and that's never been a problem for us or any other parents, EX- activitity is 4:00-5:00-we pick her up at 5:00, it's simple.
There is a payphone at my work so they are still around.

I noticed you were in Nova Scotia. In the US, pay phones are virtually non-existent. I have seen them at airports and a few major public places, but not on every corner like they used to be.

I don't think I will allow my boys to have one until they can drive-and at that point they can pay for it themselves as well. I don't get kids having cell phones. I chaperoned on a 5&6th grade ski club trip one day and as soon as the kids were on the bus they all whipped out their phones-and not cheapy basic phones, more than half were smart phones. Why?

I also will be there to pick up my kids when they are scheduled and will not need them to phone me to tell me to pick them up. My mom was always there. I only recall having to use a payphone on just a few occasions-like when I was not feeling well and wanted to leave practice early.

So, what will your child do when they are not feeling well and needs to leave practice early? Use somebody else's phone? Use the minutes they are paying for?

My kids had phones starting young. My kids swim competitively and there was no public phone at the pool. There have been plenty of times that practice was canceled early due to lightning. While the coaches stayed with the handful of kids who had no way to reach their parents to pick them up, I was always happy that my kids were able to call me to come pick them up rather than standing under a cover for up to an hour.

Same thing with football and lacrosse - no payphones anywhere near the fields. Practices have been canceled early due to weather.

This is the reason my kids have a cell phone. We will NOT be the parent that says "we got along without one, so my kid can too." Well, mother wrote all her term papers on a selectric typewriter. My grandmother also got along without a car. My great grandparents got along without indoor plumbing. Doesn't mean we need to be stuck in the past. I will NOT have the children that are always asking to borrow a phone. Those people paid for their minutes for their use, not my child's use. I cannot hand them a quarter to use their phone like we as kids could do a pay phone.

A kid should have a cell phone if they have ever needed to call. If the child has had to ask to borrow somebody else's cell phone even once, then they need one themselves.

 

[golfgal]

I can think of many reasons for my high school age child to have a cell phone but THAT isn't one of them. Seriously, "because everyone else is" ??? If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you do that too? (the timeless parent comeback is still useful!)

I knew someone would say that-but like I said, people seem to forget just HOW important that is to middle school aged kids. It is part of growing up. When we were in middle school it was those red, white and blue tennis shoes that no one knew how to pronounce the name-do you say the E, not say the E (Nike) If your child is telling you he/she is the only one without a phone, that is probably true. I just don't understand what the big deal is about kids having a cell phone. It is what it is and cell phones are NOT going away. Remember when everyone had a 8 track player and you wanted one SOOOO badly (or whatever the new technology was of your era).

 

[golfgal]

My kids are in after school activities and they do not "require" the use of a phone. We pick our kids up when activities are scheduled to end and that's never been a problem for us or any other parents, EX- activitity is 4:00-5:00-we pick her up at 5:00, it's simple.
There is a payphone at my work so they are still around.

How old are your kids? Once they hit middle school age, practice doesn't always just end at 5:00 any more. How about when they go out of town for competitions? There can be an hour give or take on the return time. Are you going to sit in the parking lot for 2 hours waiting for your kid to get home. It sure is a heck of a lot easier to have them call when they are 10 minutes from school and say "we are almost here"

 

[Mermaid02]

I knew someone would say that-but like I said, people seem to forget just HOW important that is to middle school aged kids. It is part of growing up. When we were in middle school it was those red, white and blue tennis shoes that no one knew how to pronounce the name-do you say the E, not say the E (Nike) If your child is telling you he/she is the only one without a phone, that is probably true. I just don't understand what the big deal is about kids having a cell phone. It is what it is and cell phones are NOT going away. Remember when everyone had a 8 track player and you wanted one SOOOO badly (or whatever the new technology was of your era).

Yeah- I remember what it was like to WANT what everyone else had... but it wasn't always possible to have those things... at least not in my family and you know what? I survived and wasn't shunned by my peers.

Like I said, there are many reasons to get your child a cell phone, but just because everyone else has one, isn't a reason.

 

[redrosesix]

My daughter got one when it was going to make MY life easier and that was in 5th grade when she started to be able to go to the park and ride her bike over to her friends house. She would call and let me know she got there, when she was leaving and if they were leaving the one park and going someplace else. She would certainly not have as much freedom without one.

This is when my DD got hers (which was a year ago, when she was 10) - and she forgot to charge it and then misplaced it and now everything is a mess. She gets picked up on rainy days and walks on nice days - and not always by the same person. And her lunches at the mall with her friends have been cancelled pending her finding her phone - no way she's going there if we can't reach her.

During the summer we stay at a campground, and she doesn't really need it - she pays for it herself out of her allowance so she can text her friends 2 trailers away We don't have a contract so we have the freedom to choose the calling plan that is most appropriate for the time. A minimum plan during the school year when it's really just for emergencies and the phone is off most of the day because of school. A better plan that allows her to call 5 numbers without long distance charges during the summer - and unlimited texting of course.

 

[msjprincess]

My daughter got one when it was going to make MY life easier and that was in 5th grade when she started to be able to go to the park and ride her bike over to her friends house. She would call and let me know she got there, when she was leaving and if they were leaving the one park and going someplace else. She would certainly not have as much freedom without one.
I never made any official rules- she turns it off before she goes to sleep and I know she is not using it since I can just look at the bill and see if any calls or texts were made during the night. Should that happen then I would have to do things differently but until then all is good.

Same here. My son was 10 when he got his. He thought we bought it for him to be nice because he was begging for one. In reality it was because it made my life easier. The phone was free and it only costs us $10 a month to add him

His phone has Family Locator on it so I can see where he is from my phone or computer at all times.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

OK, we all have REGULAR cell phones with no data plan. I will freely admit that I do draw the line there with my dd's.

Of course my youngest who is in 8th complains that "everyone" has an IPhone, which many kids do have a phone with a data plan.

However we did tell the girls that if they want that luxury they will need to pay for it.

She also broke her IPOD. I am not replacing it. We told her she has to earn the money.

In addition she wants a laptop, photoshop, and I could go on.....

However we do pay for a basic phone with unlimited texting. I want my dd's to have a phone.

 

[tlbwriter]

My kids are in after school activities and they do not "require" the use of a phone. We pick our kids up when activities are scheduled to end and that's never been a problem for us or any other parents, EX- activitity is 4:00-5:00-we pick her up at 5:00, it's simple.

It will be less simple when the activities do not end at a specific time. I remember getting home from band trips late in the evening and having to wait in line for the one phone available, then wait 20 minutes for my parents to pick me up.

There is a payphone at my work so they are still around.

There is no pay phone at my child's school. None.

 

[golfgal]

Yeah- I remember what it was like to WANT what everyone else had... but it wasn't always possible to have those things... at least not in my family and you know what? I survived and wasn't shunned by my peers.

Like I said, there are many reasons to get your child a cell phone, but just because everyone else has one, isn't a reason.

Yes, it is. There have been plenty of things we have gotten our kids just because other kids have them and they wanted one. We certainly don't buy them everything they want and they have far fewer "things" then most of their friends but sometimes we have gotten them something just because it is the current rage at school. So what. Our kids were actually one of the first in their circle of friends to have a cell phone. We got them one because we wanted to, no other reason than that.

 

[Mermaid02]

Yes, it is. There have been plenty of things we have gotten our kids just because other kids have them and they wanted one. We certainly don't buy them everything they want and they have far fewer "things" then most of their friends but sometimes we have gotten them something just because it is the current rage at school. So what. Our kids were actually one of the first in their circle of friends to have a cell phone. We got them one because we wanted to, no other reason than that.

Which is it?

 

[Acklander]

I can think of many reasons for my high school age child to have a cell phone but THAT isn't one of them. Seriously, "because everyone else is" ??? If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you do that too? (the timeless parent comeback is still useful!)

I'm not a big fan of "because everyone else does" however in this situation, I can understand it. Since group text seems to be the way that everyone shares information (what time is everyone meeting up, have plans changed, info about the extra practice, and so on) by not having a phone, your child will probably be the one left out of the loop.

 

[kirstenb1]

Our older dd is in seventh grade. We haven't bought her one yet. I'm a sahm, and she doesn't have an afterschool sport or activity (much to my dismay, I wish she would choose something). Where we live, she can bike in the neighborhood, but I have to drive her to get to most of her friends' homes. WE still have our landline. DH gets his cel phone through work, and I have a pay as you go one that I use maybe twice a month.

I know once she's driving or if I return to work, it will make sense to get her one. Right now, all she wants one for is to text. She has Facebook, so that's an option for keeping in touch with friends. I understand wanting to fit in, and she has Hollister/Abercrombie etc coming out of her ears!!

 

[golfgal]

I'm not a big fan of "because everyone else does" however in this situation, I can understand it. Since group text seems to be the way that everyone shares information (what time is everyone meeting up, have plans changed, info about the extra practice, and so on) by not having a phone, your child will probably be the one left out of the loop.

Happens all the time. We have a neighbor that refuses to let her DD get a cell phone and go on Facebook, the number one and number two way kids organize things around here. Her DD misses out on a LOT of things because the kids just forget she doesn't have this. The mom gets mad at the other kids because her DD misses things. This is a sophomore in high school, not an 8 year old.

With graduation coming up, most of the kids have already posted info on grad parties on Facebook. She won't get any of that info because she is not on facebook. Last year she missed most of the grad parties and then if the other kids would talk about them in front of her, her mom would get mad

 

[golfgal]

Our older dd is in seventh grade. We haven't bought her one yet. I'm a sahm, and she doesn't have an afterschool sport or activity (much to my dismay, I wish she would choose something). Where we live, she can bike in the neighborhood, but I have to drive her to get to most of her friends' homes. WE still have our landline. DH gets his cel phone through work, and I have a pay as you go one that I use maybe twice a month.

I know once she's driving or if I return to work, it will make sense to get her one. Right now, all she wants one for is to text. She has Facebook, so that's an option for keeping in touch with friends. I understand wanting to fit in, and she has Hollister/Abercrombie etc coming out of her ears!!

What about an ITouch for her? She can text through that without having a phone contact.

 

[SaraJayne]

We got my DS one when he was 13 and a half and starting 8th grade. His phone texts and calls ~ that's it. Unless they are paying for it themselves, a teenager does not need a data plan.

Our DD (turns 10 in a few weeks) has asked when she will be getting a cell phone. One of her friends got one when she was 7. Uh, no. Her parents have questionable parenting skills to begin with.

For now, the answer is the "at the same time your brother got one ~ the start of 8th grade."

The "well everyone else does it/has it, so why can't I?" argument goes nowhere with me.

 

[U2_rocks!]

I don't have a magic age for my kids when it comes to most things - they are allowed to do/get important things (not talking trinkets or toys) when they need them, when they can handle them, when it feels "right" to me. My oldest is 11 and he doesn't have a cell phone yet, but he hasn't needed one. He goes to a private school where he is allowed to use the office phone if he needs to reach us. Or, at times he has borrowed a friend's parent's phone to call and ask me something, and I have lent my phone to his friends as well. He doesn't travel alone by bus or anything - there's really no reason for him to be separated from a responsible adult for any length of time.

In September he's going to a public secondary school. Things will be different. I will assess the situation once he starts school and see if it's the right time for him to get one, whether he really needs one. I figure that right now he shouldn't be making plans without my involvement, so I don't need him to be making plans via text. Also, if he's still going to be dropped off and collected from school, he won't need one. Also, I'm not even sure if he's allowed one at school. We'll see, but I'm in no hurry.

 

[Janet Hill]

We got my son a cell phone when he was 8. But.....he has asperger's and has a penchant for getting lost when stressed or annoyed. In his case it is a tracking device. He's now 13 and still carries it with him at all times, because we make him, but he never really talks on the phone.

 

[kirstenb1]

What about an ITouch for her? She can text through that without having a phone contact.

I'm very 19th century when it comes to technology, so I'm embarrassed to say, I'll have to google this to see what it is!!