At what age can a child go into the bathroom alone?

[lisapooh]

Ah, now I am seeing why I can never get in the handicapped stall and have to park my power chair and hobble holding onto walls and use the regular stalls. Sorry guys but handicapped stalls are there for the handicapped not the convenince of parents. Most of us in wheelchairs can't wait while you hog the handicapped stall. By the time we get it we are about to wet our britches or already have started too. Sorry this is a real pet peeve of mine. More times than not the handicapped stall isn't available for a handicapped person to use and it is getting worse not better.
Having children is not a handicap!

 

[wdwobsessed]

LMHB & Dandelion -

Don't feel bad!


I use the handicapped stall as well since I have a two year old and a five year old and we cannot all fit into a smaller stall.

In fact I have never ever seen a person who is handicapped waiting for the bathroom when I have been anywhere, ever ... so I'm not making them wait or causing them to use a regular stall.

If anyone has a problem with it ... tough! I'm not leaving my kids out in the bathroom by themselves while I pee with my panties around my ankles .... they could be out the door and outside before I ever get my pants up!

I would hope that any one ... regardless of their situation or physical well-being .. would value a child more than having to wait an extra minute.

Sorry if I sound insensitive .. but as a mother you have to do what you have to do.

wdwo


We are talking about a potty stop for goodness sake.

 

[pentex]

Not meaning to discount your feelings, LisaPooh, I totally agree with wdwobsessed.

I have taken my small kids into a handicapped bathroom many, many times. I can't hold it in forever and I can't leave them standing outside. If we all can't fit in a regular bathroom, and if there is no-one waiting for the handicapped bathroom, we use it. We use it quickly and get out, in case someone could be waiting, never using a moment of excess time.

You know, the definition of handicapped is having a harder time doing things than others. I honestly do think that it is harder for parents with tiny children to use a bathroom with insufficient space. There are huge safety issues here and sometimes we have to accept that not all handicaps are physical. I'm not saying that parents with small kids should get free reign over handicap bathrooms, but I certainly don't think it's wrong for them to use them if no-one is waiting and if they move as quickly as possible.

 

[lisapooh]

When my girls were growing up before I needed canes and a wheelchair I would never have thought to use the handicapped stall. As I stated before having children is not a handicap. To bad parents no longer have that courtesy. Of course you have never walked in my shoes and had the enbarassment of being an adult and ending up with wet or soiled clothes because the stalls that can handle my wheelchair are being used by able bodied adults.

When my girls were little I stood outsided holding the stall door shut as my daughters used the restroom once they were toilet trained. Each one took their turn and then I took mine with them standing outside the door waiting. I could see their feet and they did not move or they know that was the end of the outing.

Sorry I consider parents who take up the handicapped stalls for themselves and their nonhandicapped children just plain rude.

 

[pentex]

I respectfully disagree, under the condition that those parents using the handicapped bathroom do so quickly so that as not to make a handicapped person wait, or that such a person would never use the bathroom if there was a waiting line.

Times have unfortunately changed. All too often, one reads a story where a child is taken from right in front of their own house-- or even in the presense of their parents. It's not good enough anymore to watch for feet under doors when a child is very young. Anything could happen, and does.

As long as no-one is waiting and it's protecting the safety of a child, there is no harm.

 

[lisapooh]

I guess you will never understand until you are in our situation. And the reason you don't see us waiting is we are haulling butt in our wheelchairs to find another bathroom that we can use before we soil ourselves. We don't wait around for you to finish because you may think it is a short time but for us it is an eternity.

 

[pentex]

Let's face it...we all have to wait on long lines at times, and at some of those times there are real emergencies when lines are long. I don't think having a bathroom emergency is something limited to the handicapped. In speaking to my aunt who is handicapped, she has no problem with others using handicapped accessible stalls before her, as long as if she enters a crowded restroom that others allow her to enter the handicapped stall at the next opening. I think that's a more reasonable approach.

I am certainly not advocating disregarding the rights of the disabled, so please don't think that I am. Courtesy would dictate yielding designated bathroom facilities to those who require them, though when available, their use is not restricted from the general public. Public restrooms are for public use. The larger stalls are meant to accommodate the handicapped--not specifically for. This isn't meant to be harsh...it's just the way it is.

It is wrong if people give you no consideration because they absolutely should. However, I think you should try to think of the issue in a more realistic approach.

 

[sha_lyn]

I don't think lisa is talking about using the stall when all the other stalls are full. I believe she istalking about using the HC stall instead of a standard stall. I for one was guilty of doing that on many occasions because of my size. It is very hard to bend over to help my DD use the bathroom in a small stall. I usually end up with my kness on the floor and my legs stck out under the door. There are some stalls that just make it impossible to get the both of us in and close the door much less bend over. I have started using the HC stalls only if the stalls are too small for us to get in and close the door.
Lisapooh...I'm just courious to how you feel about most places putting the changing table in the HC stall ? Since that usually take longer than just using the toilet I guess it is even more of a problem than someone just using the stall to "go"

 

[Jordan's MOM]

I think it is about respecting everyone.When my DS was a toddler and I also often kept my sisters two boys, using the HC stall was the ONLY way we could saftely use the bathroom.And as Sha-lyn said that is often where the changing table is.I went to the Disability boards and read some horror stories about non handicaped persons and their total disreguard for another person.It is about being kind and conciderate and allowing the person with the greatest need at the time to use the facilitythat best serves their needs.I have often let a "holding child or an eldely person go ahead of me.I even asked this of someone myself once when I was expecting my son!It was granted.Most people want do the right thing.

Jordan's Mom

 

[pentex]

Well put, Jordan's Mom, most people do want to do the right thing. Just last week, my five year old waited until the very last minute to ask "to go" during an intermission of a Broadway play. And anyone who's been to one of those knows how dreadfully crowded the bathrooms are during intermission. I didn't even have to ask to go ahead in line because it was so obvious that my child was ready for an accident that the other ladies just urged me to go ahead, and did so with smiles to us both. I would always do (and have done) the same for any person in need.

 

[wdwobsessed]

If I could trust my kids to stand outside the door and wait ... I would ... but my two year old would run out the door without a moments thought .... and there I am pants around my ankles.

I am a big woman ... and in some regular stalls I just can't fit him and me in there.

Plus - as someone pointed out ... the baby changer things are always in the HC stalls.

wdwo

 

[lisapooh]

Since when are the baby changing things in the handicapped stall. Never in my experience and certainly not at Disney World. Btw if you are so large you can't fit in a standard stall then you are handicapped. That is the only place you fit.

 

[McGrane]

I see baby changing tables in handicapped stalls all the time. For the record I take my two small children in the handicapped stall if it's available. In the very few instances that a handicapped person was waiting when we came out, they always greeted us friendly and never were upset. This is getting a little out of hand here. Now Lisa says that someone who is too large to fit in a regular stall is handicapped in her judgment, but a parent with a child's safety in mind is not so in her judgment. Sounds like she has a little problem, thinking she can be the one to deem what is and what is not a handicap. Everyone should just be fair and have consideration of each other's situations.

 

[LMHB]

Whew! I am sorry, I am the one who posted about the handicapped stalls in the first place. I apologize if you were offended, Lisapooh. I do always use the stall as quickly as possible, then get out of it. The rest of us have to wait for stalls many times, I guess I don't uderstand how being disabled is a more urgent need. It is important for any person not to wait until the last minute. That was a good point about the changing tables. I often change my baby while he is standing, so I try to stay away from them, but if he has pooped I have no choice. I have never, ever, seen any disabled person "waiting" for a stall, and if one walked in at the same time as me I would invite her to use it first. But, I stick by the notion that using a bathroom stall with two little monkeys in tow is just as "disabling" as a traditionally disabled person, or being a larger person for that matter. Even if I'm skinny I'm "large" with my two toddlers with me!

 

[kissafrog]

When I originally posted the comment about how hard it was to use the restroom when you are alone with an infant/toddler (or 2) and a stroller, I had no idea I was starting such a controversy! I just meant that it is just as frustrating to me as it seems to be for parents of older children to decide if they can 'go' by themselves.
I have always felt that a handicap stall was for those who needed the extra space, handrails, or elevated toilet - which is not always someone who is handicaped. For example, I had an elderly relative who had a handrail in her home bathroom, and she used the stall with the handrail when in public restrooms. She was not handicaped, but needed this convenience to get up and down easier.
When you're alone with young children, sometimes you don't have a choice - you do need the extra space. I would never be discourteous to someone else who needed the handicap stall, and always ask if anyone in line needs it before I go in. The best solution to this is to harass the mall until they enlarge all the stalls so no one is inconvenienced.

 

[lisapooh]

I will say it again Having a child is NOT a handicap. If you c\onsider it such you shouldn't have children. Children are a blessing. A handicap is some that physically keeps you from doing what the rest of the world does day in and day out like walking into a bathroom and using any normal stall which there are many of. When you are handicapped there is normally only 1 stall you can use and if you are lucky you might even be able to close the door and use it in privacy (often you can't get the door shut and latched with a wheelchair in the stall).
And since people are now using this thread to insult me and others who are handicapped and don't feel that the 1 stall set aside for use by the handicapped should not be used by parents and their broods I will leave this thread and request that the moderator close it as it has now gotten personal.

 

[BethR]

I am going to close this thread not because I have seen any personal attacks, but because it has become painfully off topic. The original question was asking for opinions on the appropriate age to let a child go into the bathroom by himself. As you can see, that question is no longer being discussed.
If you would care to continue the discussion about handicapped bathrooms, it looks as if the Debate Board would be the most appropriate forum.
If you have any questions or comments on this action, feel free to e-mail me.

Thank you...