At what age can a child go into the bathroom alone?

[imgoingtodisney]

My husband and I have been allowing our 9yr son to go into the boys bathroom by himself. Especially when he has to get there very quickly - he may RUN ahead. My MIL and SIL do not agree with this and say times have changed. At what age is it safe to be in the bathroom alone?

 

[wdwobsessed]

My Five (almost 6) year old crys and throws a fit if I make him go into the ladies room.

I have started letting him go into the Men's room by himself with me standing right at the door.

If he seems to be taking too long I will crack the door and call him. Usually he announces that hes' doing #2 and he can't hurry up! lol

I would not let him go in by himself if I were not right there ... when DH is around ... of course he takes him.

With a 9 year old ... I would think as long as you can follow him visually by sight to the restroom ... he'd be OK.

As far as going to the RR by himself and then say meeting you back at a designated place. I would not feel comforatable until around age 11ish.

Just my opinion.

wdwo

 

[rbuzzotta]

Luckily I have 3 Dd's and do't have to worry about going into opposite sex bathrooms. I did notice on our last WDW vacation that they had companion rest rooms and my DH took my youngest DD into that a few times. My oldest DD is 10 and I let her go in alone only if I stay outside and know that there is only one way in and one way out. If she is taking too long, I go right in! It is scarey but when do you let them begin to have responsiblity in this craxy world??

 

[beattyfamily]

I really feel for parents who have a child of the opposite sex and don't have the other parent to take them in.

It's really hard to say what is a good age in these times.

You must already know about that murder a few years ago, I think it was at the beach or something and the aunt let the boy go in by himself (she really didn't have a choice) and I think he was either 9 or 12 and the murderer was waiting/hiding already in the bathroom for his next victum. She thought he was in there alone. There was no other way out. She thought he'd be safe. It's just so sad.

I'm sorry to bring this sad story into the WDW boards, but I just wanted share this story just in case you hadn't heard it so you can decide when is a good age for children to go in alone.

Luckily I have girls and my husband isn't alone with them too often.

 

[Lorix2]

beattyfamily - omigosh. I was just thinking the same thing while reading this post. I was horrified when I read that story awhile back. I let my DD go alone, but only after I've walked thru and know nobody else is in there, then I stay by the outside door. If someone goes in, so do I. You just cannot be too careful these days unfortunately.

 

[LKS]

My 9yo son will be going into public Mens' restrooms by himself as he is just TOO big to be in a ladies room. I think I started sending him there at about 6 or 7. I expect him to be safe there although I'll probably be nervous if I think he's taking too long. My husband already sends my 7yo daughter into the ladies room alone because as soon as she was old enough to manage the logistics herself, he said, and I agree, that she was too old for the mens' room - urinals are generally not in stalls. My 4yo son still needs help with the faucets, soap etc... so he goes in to the ladies room with me if necessary.

I wouldn't be surprised if the kids are statistically safer in the restrooms at Disney than they are on the plane flying down, which we already know is statistically safer than driving there.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

This is such a tough issue for moms and sons.My DS (9) can go alone as long as I can stand right outside of the restroom and I feel it is a fairly safe place.The problem comes when I have to go.No way will I leave DS outside of the restroom in a public place.He goes in and stands right inside of the door and waits on me.We discuss together what the safe option is and he is Ok with that.Sorry, fit or not a five year old is too young to be safe in many bathroom situations.So glad DH will be with us at Disney.Many bathrooms there have more than one exit and I do not feel safe with him alone in there.Yes I am over protective, but I love my kid.
Jordan's Mom

 

[pentex]

That is such an awful story about that poor boy and his aunt.

I do let my 9 year old go into the Ladies Room by herself in certain circumstances. I stand right outside and only if it is an active bathroom, i.e. lots of people coming in and out (not an inactive bathroom where you never know who could be lurking). I go in with her whenever is possible but when it's not I am standing right outside.

I am sure that poor aunt is feeling so guilty about what happened, but I guess in reality if she had gone in with him, they would both be dead.

 

[wendyww]

My son is 8 and I let him go to the men's room only if I am outside waiting for him. If I have to go I make him wait just inside the ladies room door. If its way to crowded where we are at then we all go into the ladies room.

 

[bigsis1970]

I really hadn't thought much about it.. My Ds is 5 and i mostly make him go in the ladies
room but on a few occasions he has had a fit when he saw another male go in the men's
room about wanting to go in.. I have let him and wait very nervously til he comes out. like
wdwobsessed i do call in if its been too long - over a minute - little boys are much quicker
than little girls.. I can only hope that while we are in Disney he will be ok with the ladies room
I think i will tell him that you have to be 6 at Disney to go in the boys room by yourself!! LOL

 

[Tracy M]

Maybe I've watched too many Datelines....but my son is 8yo & I still take him w/me in the ladies room. Anything can happen in a split second....even when you're waiting right outside. I'm just not comfortable with leaving him alone yet.

He's actually used to it now (and yes..it bothers him at times) but there's almost always other boys in there too with their moms.

 

[cgcw]

I don't know at what age they should be able to go alone, but my 6 year old son always comes with me when my husband isn't around. Someday, I know he'll have to move onto the men's room by himself but I to heard the story of the little boy murdered in a bathroom and don't want my son to become another victim. In fact, when we do together and he's in a separate stall, I have him wait in there until I knock on the door to let him know to come out. Just another safety measure.

 

[CindyAnn]

I'm like Jordan's MOM, in that I'm even more concerned when I have to go to the bathroom. My DS recently turned 8 and I'm still very uncomfortable letting him go on his own or leaving him ouside the women's washroom while I go. It's especially difficult since I always have 5yo DD with me, and it takes longer to help her with her hands, etc.

If DS goes in on his own, after about 30 seconds I bellow "Don't forget to wash your hands" through the door, and he knows he has to answer. Actually, he wouldn't ever, EVER forget to wash his hands, but I need to hear his voice. Fortunately, most of the time DH is with us, so it isn't an issue.

I also wanted to repeat Jordan's MOM's comment about the fact that some of the washrooms at WDW have more than one exit. Make sure you orient yourselves as to which exit you're meeting at before anyone separates to go to the bathroom.

 

[wdwobsessed]

Quote:

"Sorry, fit or not a five year old is too young to be safe in many bathroom situations.So glad DH will be with us at Disney.Many bathrooms there have more than one exit and I do not feel safe with him alone in there.Yes I am over protective, but I love my kid. "

And I love my child. More than life itself. I

found your comment to be a direct attack on me. ONLY I CAN BE THE JUDGE of weather I feel any particular situation is safe for my son. If we are at a Wallmart and he has to pee and runs into the Men's room with me right by the door I do not feel that is putting him in an unsafe situation.

Now, of course, if we are in a very crowded situation like DW or a rest stop ... I would need to proceed with more caution. My DH will be with me in those types of situations anyway 9 times out of 10.

I felt your post implied in someway that I do not care for my "kid" as much as you do yours. Perhaps you did not mean it in that way ... but I took it in that way.

YES, bad things do happen. But FYI in MOST cases of child abuse, murder & molestation ... it is done by a trusted family member, friend, caregiver or someone we know.

I'm not advocating at a place like DW that a five year old should be allowed to go into a crowded bathroom with more than one exit by himself. I was simply relating what I have done on occasions when out at the local shopping plaza or grocery store.

Perhaps you should have relayed what YOU do rather than obviously commenting on the post I made and your dissaproval of it.

wdwo

 

[pentex]

I found a link about the story about the boy who was killed:

www.apbnews.com/newscenter/breakingnews/1999/01/15/slash0115_01.html


I couldn't find out what the end result was with the trial...does anyone know? I certainly hope this guy didn't get off due to insanity.

 

[imgoingtodisney]

The only punishment is Death for this guy!!

 

[pentex]

I'm so with you, imgoingtodisney. I just found something that said he was sentenced to death:

www.courttv.com/trials/wilson/110499_ctv.html


Whether or not he was put to death, I don't know, but at least he didn't get off on insanity. May that poor little child rest in peace.

Now I'll be more on guard than ever with my kids.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

dear WDWo
Sorry you felt attacked.Did not mean that at all! I am sure you love you children every bit as much as I and that is a lot. Was just saying how much I love my child.I in no way ment that your decission ment you did not love yours. As a teacher and parent I just had a problem with the idea of most 5 year olds being able to handle themselfs in many bathroom situations. Not just safey issues but many mens bathroom are filthy and I cringe at the thought of my child sitting on one of those tolets.I am sure you prepare your son well.Has been a while since I had one that little.Guess I tend to think of them as babies now.Plesae accept my apologies.
Jordan'Mom

 

[mommyto3]

My son is 6 (will be 7 in Sept.) and he goes to the ladies restroom with me, if no males are in our party. If he don't like it, to bad. He is too young to go by himself. I'm not sure I would make my decision based on his age, but more on his maturity level. And as of now, he is not mature enough to go on his own.

The story of the little boy who was murdered in the restroom while his aunt waited outside the door is HORRIBLE. This will always be in the back of my mind, for as long as I live.

 

[Kermit]

Crowded restrooms are much safer than restrooms with little traffic. People aren't going to try anything when there are people looking. There are very few Disney restrooms in which you would have to worry about your child being alone with one other adult in the restroom. The main problem would be restrooms that have more than one exit. If a child goes out the wrong door, it can be very confusing.