At DTD yesterday and I couldn't believe...

[Whosemom]

I know it was a 'different time' but I was babysitting 3 kids when I was 11....and I was home alone all the time when I was 10 - so I know that kids that age CAN HAVE the responsibility and the independence skills enough to be on their own, especially for short times. I had them and I have no doubt my own kids will have them to some degree around this age. For me, it will be a time-by-time decision on whether or not they can do something alone/with a friend or not and as they gain my trust in that area - I'll allow them more.

I know this is different than WDW, but my dh and I got stuck in town with a health crisis with one of his parents. We were on our way home, but were going to be 1/2 hour late. I called the school and asked that they have the kids stay in afterschool care. Well, that lady had called off sick. So I said, send them on home, we'll be there shortly. Tell them Big Sis is in charge. My kids are 12, 9 and at that time 6. The principal said that it would be ILLEGAL for my kids to be home alone!!!! I was totally beside myself! As a matter of fact, I think I still am! I couldn't believe she was saying I was a neglectful parent!

I will admit, I might leave the three together at the lego table while I went to pay in that store. But not one. And I would be doing the sideways walk trying to watch them at the same time. We even sat down by the gates of the dino dig playground and had some adult conversation for a few minutes.

Gotta let that reel out slowly, but you do gotta let it out.

 

[DawnM]

It all depends on the state laws.

Here in NC I have learned the laws are very loose about kids being left alone (no particular age, etc....). When I lived out West the law said my 12 year old could be left alone for a couple of hours but could NOT be left in charge of any younger kids.

Dawn

I know this is different than WDW, but my dh and I got stuck in town with a health crisis with one of his parents. We were on our way home, but were going to be 1/2 hour late. I called the school and asked that they have the kids stay in afterschool care. Well, that lady had called off sick. So I said, send them on home, we'll be there shortly. Tell them Big Sis is in charge. My kids are 12, 9 and at that time 6. The principal said that it would be ILLEGAL for my kids to be home alone!!!! I was totally beside myself! As a matter of fact, I think I still am! I couldn't believe she was saying I was a neglectful parent!

I will admit, I might leave the three together at the lego table while I went to pay in that store. But not one. And I would be doing the sideways walk trying to watch them at the same time. We even sat down by the gates of the dino dig playground and had some adult conversation for a few minutes.

Gotta let that reel out slowly, but you do gotta let it out.

 

[herodrx1]

I guess I'm in the minority on this one. I have a 12 and 8 year old. Older one is a boy younger one a girl. I have taught both kids about stranger danger and such. My oldest is a black belt in karate and the younger a blue belt.
I have left them together (must stay together) to look at toys, video games, movies, etc... at stores. I might even let my son, who is very very mature, look by himself. My DD I would not leave alone yet.

I think it depends on the kid and their personality.

 

[safetymom]

My son had the same rule my daughters had.

 

[mickeymel]

There are differing laws from state to state and county to county. In our state (I work for DSS) there is no state statute for a specific age that children can be left alone, but each county has a "policy". For example in the county I work in-- the supervision policy is that no child under 9 can be left unsupervised. If a child is found to be that age and unsupervised ---law enforcement can take custody.
Just FYI from a legal standpoint.

 

[Mkrop]

There are differing laws from state to state and county to county. In our state (I work for DSS) there is no state statute for a specific age that children can be left alone, but each county has a "policy". For example in the county I work in-- the supervision policy is that no child under 9 can be left unsupervised. If a child is found to be that age and unsupervised ---law enforcement can take custody.
Just FYI from a legal standpoint.

How do you go about finding out what it is your state/county? Is there a website?

 

[Disney1976]

While I don't agree with parents just "leaving" their children at Disney or anywhere else (and I'm sure a lot of it has to do with people thinking that Disney World is a magical fairy-tale world where nothing bad could EVER happen ) I would venture a guess that this happens a lot at Disney. A CM at WoD told me he watched a woman with a toddler in a stroller walk away from the child, which she left in the middle of the crowded store (in the main area, where the Castle is) and walk into one of the other rooms to continue her shopping! After watching the child for a few moments and ascertaining that no one else was with the child, they sent another CM to fetch the mother, who didn't see anything wrong with what she had done! I'm not saying the person was a bad parent, but it does seem to indicate a serious lack of judgment!

 

[mickeymel]

You can contact your local social services, family services, or sheriffs office. I am sure things differ greatly from place to place, but I know our office gets a lot of calls about "what age can I leave my child alone"?
We always tell people the county policy, but also add that you have to evaluate your child because all kids are different. One 10 year old may be more mature and able to handle things better than another 12 year old.
They ask them.....how would your child react in an emergency because you know your child best.

 

[Whosemom]

You can contact your local social services, family services, or sheriffs office. I am sure things differ greatly from place to place, but I know our office gets a lot of calls about "what age can I leave my child alone"?
We always tell people the county policy, but also add that you have to evaluate your child because all kids are different. One 10 year old may be more mature and able to handle things better than another 12 year old.
They ask them.....how would your child react in an emergency because you know your child best.

While that's a true answer, its evidently not the right answer. If there is a law, and you get that nonanswer, how can you be held accountable?

Our local Red Cross offers a class and certification in babysitting at 11. I would assume, therefore, that local law would not be against a 12 yo babysitting for 1/2 hour.

 

[Disney Mommy 3]

This happens a lot at our local bookstores. BAM and Barnes & Noble- people leave their kids and go to the other stores in the mall! I guess people think kids have to wander around to be kidnapped

 

[darlak]

Some parents just don't see a child molester behind every corner. They've taught their kids to stay in a store and yell "You're not my parent!" if a stranger bothers them. They have a better comfort level allowing some freedoms at a younger age - maybe they know that their child is more mature and better able to handle something if a stranger approaches.

I had a real disagreement with ( and got points for arguing about) an issue on another thread a few weeks ago, because I thought it was ridiculous that a mom was worrying about her 9 and 11 (I think) year olds being able to roam freely on Tom Sawyer's Island. Almost every parent on that thread said, "No way would I let my child roam - you never know what could happen!" I thought (and still think) that was ridiculously overprotective.

It doesn't make you a bad parent to give your child some freedoms at that age. It's still very, very rare for something bad to happen.

As I've said before on other threads, you're right that "It's still very, very rare for something bad to happen."

However, I still maintain that the odds of something bad happening are even lower when I don't leave them unattended. I like the odds my way better.

 

[livndisney]

I used to be an Asst. Mgr. @ a Disney Store 14 yrs ago. I was stunned by the number of parents that would plop their kids in front of plush mountain to have them watch the video while they left the store and shopped elsewhere??? I would call security and have them ready and waiting for the parents when they arrived to claim their child(ren)

What were they thinking??!?!?!? I guess they assumed because it was the "Disney Store" their kids were safe.... but the cast members on could not be responsible for children left unattended. It got very busy in our store especially during the Christmas season or even weekends!

I still shudder to think what COULD have happen to some of those children had we not been so proactive in approaching the parents doing it or calling security to handle it

Oh yes, I REMEMBER this! I could not believe the number of parents that would leave the store after "parking" their child in front of the big screen in the childrens area. And the parents who ALLOWED their children to CLIMB plush mountain.

 

[Vacation Lover]

I don't think this is just a Disney thing...Our Chick Fil A manager told me that she couldn't believe the number of parents who dropped the kids off at the playplace then walked over to the nearby Wal Mart! She always called police and had them waiting when the parents got back. She said that sometimes the kid didn't even know that the parent had left!

When we were at the Lego store at DTD, I was sooo thirsty and really tempted to run to McDonalds to get a drink, but of course I didn't. I did, however, go inside the Lego store to check out while my 7 and 9 year old played with the Legos outside. Even though I wasn't right next to them, I had an eye on them from the line and knew they wouldn't wander off. I think leaving them outside while you go in the store where you can see them is totally different from leaving the area altogether.

 

[disbugsmomma]

Just last week I was at work and saw a lady leave her sleeping (maybe) 18 month old in her cart in the main aisle of the store and walk all the way down to the end of the aisle. This was two days before Christmas so the store was very busy. I actually pushed the cart down the aisle to her once, but then she did it again. I couldn't believe it. I don't even like to turn my back when I have my daughter in a cart and I usually keep a hand on it.

 

[SmallWorld71]

Oh yes, I REMEMBER this! I could not believe the number of parents that would leave the store after "parking" their child in front of the big screen in the childrens area. And the parents who ALLOWED their children to CLIMB plush mountain.

This plush mountain reference brought a slight chuckle. I was a Disney Store cast member back in the day. It was shocking how many people left their young children unattended and left the store!

Anyway, I have never left my kids alone at a place like Disney World, although I have been known to leave the boys in charge of their 4yr. old sister while I run to the convenience store for a gallon of milk. They are responsible and well versed in what to do in case of emergency. I was babysitting for $ at their age and never really thought about the fact that it might not be O.K. in the eyes of the law.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Some parents just don't see a child molester behind every corner. They've taught their kids to stay in a store and yell "You're not my parent!" if a stranger bothers them. They have a better comfort level allowing some freedoms at a younger age - maybe they know that their child is more mature and better able to handle something if a stranger approaches.

I had a real disagreement with ( and got points for arguing about) an issue on another thread a few weeks ago, because I thought it was ridiculous that a mom was worrying about her 9 and 11 (I think) year olds being able to roam freely on Tom Sawyer's Island. Almost every parent on that thread said, "No way would I let my child roam - you never know what could happen!" I thought (and still think) that was ridiculously overprotective.

It doesn't make you a bad parent to give your child some freedoms at that age. It's still very, very rare for something bad to happen.

I remember that thread. I agreed with you then and I agree with you now.

My son was 9 during our first WDW trip. I didn't think twice about leaving him at the lego area. Why? I figured if he can walk to school alone in Brooklyn, then he could play with legos alone at WDW.

I'd do the samething with my oldest niece(8) and nephew(10) if they end up joining us on our next trip.

My niece takes 2 city buses home from school each day. My nephew takes one city bus to and from school each day.

I figure kids that can travel around the city alone, are capable playing alone for a few minutes.


I don't worry about strangers molesting kids. Most kids are molested by people they know and trust. (Family members, teachers, coaches, clergy, ...)

If some kid picked a fight with my son, niece or nephew, they'd do just what they’ve been taught to do- stand up and defend themselves. They wouldn’t need an adult to step in and tell the other kid to knock it off, they can (and better) do it themselves.

They are past the age of putting legos in their mouths, so no need to worry about them chocking.

 

[Whosemom]

You know, the op made reference to it not being a cultural thing, but Disneyjunkie talks about the kids taking two city buses in Brooklyn to get to school. We have this wide wonderful country, and it is big enough for cultural differences even within fairly homogeneous looking groups.

 

[brymolmom]

I agree - lots of differences and it's all fine and good.

Those of us who choose to give our kids (who we've taught and are responsible enough to handle it) greater independence and responsibility don't love or worry about our kids any less than those who choose to keep a tighter hold on the reigns until they are much older - it's just the difference in our households. And neither way is at all (necessarily) indicative of a bad parenting choice - of course, some posts here are talking about something else entirely - allowing young children to climb stuffed animals at stores and leaving much to young children unattended - definitely much different than what the OP started this with and some of those could definitely be bad parenting choices.

It is funny what is considered a 'young' child today compared to 20 years ago. Even when it comes to things like chores - my friend was just talking about her 10 year old and that she wants him to start doing more chores and how she and I were both doing laundry, making our own breakfasts and lunches and doing a TON more when we were that age. And in today's society - often a child that age is still seen as young with the parent doing most or all of those types of chores. With all the older teenagers I've seen lately who can't (or won't) do their own laundry - this type of thing is definitely something I will choose to start at a young age - as soon as they are physically tall and strong enough to handle it.