Aspergers advice again please

[buzz for boys]

hi guys,
I have just came away from cams school reeling from a shock anouncement that they have decided it would better fro Cam to avoid playtimes all together - instead he will be asked to sit in the reception area with a couple of his wrestling figures to play with.
Im confused after 5 yaers of trying to get him to socialise autism outreach have been in for 1 visit and suddenly he is going to be avoiding playtime all togther !!
Part of me thinks its fab the other part of me is conerned that if he doesnt learn survival skills now how on earth will he cope in high school.
Your views would be appreciated before i have to discuss in full this evening,
Louise x

 

[scottish mum]

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sorry don't have any experience in this but my initial thought is can they not provide a one on one assistant that is able to go out with him at break times? There is a little girl at our school with autism and she gets an assistant out with her.

Hope you get some good advise as to what is best for your little boy

 

[BRobson]

First of all a big to you !!

What is the problem at the moment in the playground? I dont think he should be made to sit at reception unless this is something you want and he would benefit from!

I work at lunchtimes on a one to one basis with the children who need me for one reason or another.

Will the school not supply this support?

 

[aaronandterri]

jamie had a playground helper with him all this time through primary school, she was always around, the other children didnt even realise sometimes she was with him as she was so good at taking a back seat and just intervening when necessary, at one point we did the whole classroom thing where he picked a friend each day to stay in with him and play, and it helped and when he returned to the playground he was better, maybe ask to be met halfway some time indoors and some out , maybe he will cope better with less unstructured time.

 

[aaronandterri]

is he statemented ?

 

[higgy66]

jamie had a playground helper with him all this time through primary school, she was always around, the other children didnt even realise sometimes she was with him as she was so good at taking a back seat and just intervening when necessary, at one point we did the whole classroom thing where he picked a friend each day to stay in with him and play, and it helped and when he returned to the playground he was better, maybe ask to be met halfway some time indoors and some out , maybe he will cope better with less unstructured time.

This is what my sister does for one boy. She stays in the background and just steps in when needed. If they do keep Cam inside will someone be supervising him? If so why can't they supervise him in the playground??

 

[Pegasus928]

I'm sorry but who are the school to decide that this is whats best for your son.
Normally children are made to miss playtimes, socialising and fresh air as a punishment for bad behaviour - and I am pretty sure that is not the case here.
School is supposed to be about developing socially, as well as academically, and Cam will miss out on a huge part of his developement if he is forced to miss play times. If the school are not able to provide Cam with the help he needs - and they obviously know he needs extra help as they are the ones suggesting this course of action - then why should he suffer as a result.
When we were having trouble getting the educational plan together for Brad we got help from Parent Partnership. They were great as they went in and told the school that Brads plan was focused purely on education when it should have been more towards his social developement.
If Parent Partnership are available in your area I urge you to give them a call. They were - and still are - a real source of help and advice to us, and are always happy to come along to meetings we have with the school to provide us with support, and to ask the questions that we never thought of.

 

[Pegasus928]

This is the link to Parent Partnership explaining what they do and where they are.

Hope it helps.

http://www.parentpartnership.org.uk/

 

[buzz for boys]

is he statemented ?

Cam isnt statemented as the school say a statement will only help with EDUCATIONAL need and as far as that is concerned cam doesnt have a need he copes very well educationally.

I'm sorry but who are the school to decide that this is whats best for your son.
Normally children are made to miss playtimes, socialising and fresh air as a punishment for bad behaviour - and I am pretty sure that is not the case here.
School is supposed to be about developing socially, as well as academically, and Cam will miss out on a huge part of his developement if he is forced to miss play times. If the school are not able to provide Cam with the help he needs - and they obviously know he needs extra help as they are the ones suggesting this course of action - then why should he suffer as a result.
When we were having trouble getting the educational plan together for Brad we got help from Parent Partnership. They were great as they went in and told the school that Brads plan was focused purely on education when it should have been more towards his social developement.
If Parent Partnership are available in your area I urge you to give them a call. They were - and still are - a real source of help and advice to us, and are always happy to come along to meetings we have with the school to provide us with support, and to ask the questions that we never thought of.

Thanks for the link ill look into that and give them a call!! You hit the nail on the head really with once again very wise words - I didnt ask for this didnt even know there was an issue to be honest i have always been of the opinion if he is happy to sit on his own then who are we to force him to play???
The thing that angers me the most is that before his diagnosis in the summer the same school were fighting me that there was nothing wrong with him suddenly they are prepared to accept he has issues and now make decisions on his care what a difernece a piece of paper makes

Everyone thanks for the advice im about to go my meeting now armed with ana rguement as to why i dont want this and with belief that its not the right course of action - always good to get advice from other parents in same situation instead of proffesionals!! Ill let you know the outcome when i get back !!

Thanks again x x x

 

[Lizzy Lemon]

I don't see how this is going to help. Surely he needs to learn to socialise not be put in isolation. The trouble with having special needs children is our time is filled up with constantly battling against others prejudices.

I can fully understand you thinking he's out of harms way, I constantly want to wrap my DS in cotton wool but you have to be hard on them sometimes and make they learn their own way in the world.

I wish you well in trying to sort it out for the best.

 

[wideeyes]

Cam isnt statemented as the school say a statement will only help with EDUCATIONAL need and as far as that is concerned cam doesnt have a need he copes very well educationally.

I would contact the LEA about that and see what they say.
I had a statement done and it wasn't for educational learning needs. It was for emotional and social needs.

 

[buzz for boys]

meeting has been put off until tomorrow night as the head is having a think !!! Can hear the cogs turning from here lol

 

[Rosie]

I also have a DS with Aspergers so I understand all the conflicting emotions and I have had to face the same difficulties from prefessionals who know whats best.
My advice for what its worth is to go through the Statementing process whatever obstacles this School may put in the way. A Statement of Educational needs is just that - it will specify exactly what an individual needs in order to be able to access the curriculum and take part in the Education process. If it is felt that extra help is needed with social development it will say that and the Education provider will need to make it happen. Therein lies much of the problem - Schools are run by Teachers and they know how to teach but will often try to avoid assisting with issues like socialisation because they feel out of their depth.
It seems that for your DS a decision has been taken without consulting him and without much planning for the future. I would want to ask the Headteacher how Cam will socialise during his teens (when most people struggle with social skills) if he has had no chance to make friends and learn skills at this stage.
Avoiding discomfort at this stage may make things worse for your DS long term but the Headteacher won't have to deal with that will he?
I hope things go well and you get an outcome you are comfortable with.

 

[joolz1910]

I am not an SEN expert, but I am sure you can be statemented for other needs, such as ESBD. It sounds like they are fobbing you off. I would pursue this as it sounds like Cam would benefit from a statement as this guarantees funding for things like a support assistant.

As for this enforced segregation at playtime - what the hell happened to the inclusion policy at this school? Your little boy should be helped with integration, not shoved to one side. Grrrrrr, it makes my blood boil to hear this! Being separated won't help him in any way - it just solves a 'problem' for the school. Shame on them.

 

[buzz for boys]

I am a little concerned with the idea of trying to get a statement for ds as the educational psychologist which went into the school during the diagnosis process did not support the diagnosis and wrote a very damning report blaming ds other health issues for his difficulties in school
The same psychologist is the guy that asssess needs for statementing can you see where im going with this - he has already decided im a neurotic mom and cant imagine that he will be ebst pleased when he reads all the eveidence i collected to make everyone completly disregard his report !!
Now how easy will i get a statement do u think???

 

[wideeyes]

I am a little concerned with the idea of trying to get a statement for ds as the educational psychologist which went into the school during the diagnosis process did not support the diagnosis and wrote a very damning report blaming ds other health issues for his difficulties in school
The same psychologist is the guy that asssess needs for statementing can you see where im going with this - he has already decided im a neurotic mom and cant imagine that he will be ebst pleased when he reads all the eveidence i collected to make everyone completly disregard his report !!
Now how easy will i get a statement do u think???

I don't really know what to advise. I was the child in the matter so parents are probably best to give advise. I just want to say if it wasn't for my Dad fighting for me I don't think I would have any sort of life now, it is a fight worth doing for your son.

It can be a hard fight to get statemented and I very fustrating process, my Dad was on the phone to the LEA every week. My school stuck me in the libary during lessons rather than help me go to lessons which is one of the things my Dad made sure didn't happen when I was statemented.
Do you work with other professionals who can help fight your corner. It was my Pediatrician who demanded I had a statement, as he said school was making me ill, I was taken out of school for the two years it took to get a statement.

 

[joolz1910]

I agree with Claire, you might have to fight this battle. Cam could be SEN because of his health issues or developmental issues - either way he needs support, not segregation. He can't spend his entire time at Primary school stuck in a corner.

We have a really good SEN co-ordinator at my school - I'll email her tomorrow and ask her whether she would expect Cam to have a statement. Has he now got the diagnosis of Aspergers? How much time has he missed through surgery? I think either of these issues would trigger focussed support.

 

[dolphingirl47]

Cam isnt statemented as the school say a statement will only help with EDUCATIONAL need and as far as that is concerned cam doesnt have a need he copes very well educationally.



Thanks for the link ill look into that and give them a call!! You hit the nail on the head really with once again very wise words - I didnt ask for this didnt even know there was an issue to be honest i have always been of the opinion if he is happy to sit on his own then who are we to force him to play???
The thing that angers me the most is that before his diagnosis in the summer the same school were fighting me that there was nothing wrong with him suddenly they are prepared to accept he has issues and now make decisions on his care what a difernece a piece of paper makes

Everyone thanks for the advice im about to go my meeting now armed with ana rguement as to why i dont want this and with belief that its not the right course of action - always good to get advice from other parents in same situation instead of proffesionals!! Ill let you know the outcome when i get back !!

Thanks again x x x

When I was teaching Year 2, I had a boy in my class with Aspergers. Academically, he was easiest the brightest child in the year. His math ability was off the charts and in the other subjects we was well above average as well. He did have a statement simply for his social and emotional needs.

Corinna

 

[Pegasus928]

meeting has been put off until tomorrow night as the head is having a think !!! Can hear the cogs turning from here lol

Maybe if he had 'had a think' before springing his last big idea on you none of this would have happened in the first place.

I am a little concerned with the idea of trying to get a statement for ds as the educational psychologist which went into the school during the diagnosis process did not support the diagnosis and wrote a very damning report blaming ds other health issues for his difficulties in school
The same psychologist is the guy that asssess needs for statementing can you see where im going with this - he has already decided im a neurotic mom and cant imagine that he will be ebst pleased when he reads all the eveidence i collected to make everyone completly disregard his report !!
Now how easy will i get a statement do u think???

We used to worry about having confrontations with the school, the head teacher, the Ed Psyc and any other person involved in the decision making process. Not anymore. We as parents know what is best for our child. We live with them on a day to day basis and can see 24 hours a day what help they need, what they do well and what they struggle with. If, as the Ed Psyc says, Cameron's health issues are causing him problems at school then surely that is grounds for having a statement. I see it as him contradicting himself there which is probably one reason why he wouldn't be pleased if you press on with getting a statement.
Remember that you don't need the school to apply for an assessment to decide whether Cam needs a statement or not. You can go ahead with this yourself direct to your LEA and they must give you a desicion within 6 weeks as to whether they assess or not. The link below gives more information about this.
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/Schoolslearninganddevelopment/SpecialEducationalNeeds/DG_4000835
This is also where Parent Partnership come into their own. They help fill out the forms, will attend meetings with you and ensure you are armed with the right questions (and ready for the standard answers that the schools invariably give out) as you begin your journey.
And Louise you are not a neurotic Mum anymore than the rest of us with SEN children are neurotic parents. We are loving, concerned parents who want the best for our children, and to ensure they have a happy, rewarding and fulfilling time at school.
There is a whole network of groups out there that offer help and support but unfortunately none of the 'professional' bodies tell us about them.
Hope it goes well today

Your Dis friends are thinking about you

 

[buzz for boys]

As expected i was summoned this mrning and ws told that the head, cams class teacher and the senco would all be in the meeting this evening !! I love the way they always have loads of teachers against little old me alone im sure its a psychological thing rather than an actual need
Anyway tonight I let the school go first and let them explain why they believed he should be segretaed at break times and whos bright idea it was.
I then had my say and the senco actually started to cry I did not raise my voice or turn it into a slanging match just simply told them i felt they wwere failing my son by expecting him to hide away. The senco was asked to leave the room and im still confused as to what the water works were all about.
Te head said i was harsh and the whole scool was behind us with cams health battles again I just said that his cancer had nothing to do with this last decision and that he has no reason health related to be segregated and the only person who benefited was the teacher assistant who instead of having a nice cosy coffee inside will need to get her back side outside and actually monitor Cam !!
I then asked WHY they felt that this action needed to be taken and they all just looked at each other like it was a question from out of the blue. He has not lost his temper with anyone nor had a meltdown in school.
I then asked if Cam could come in and we asked him what he felt about breaktimes - His answer was its the best bit of the day. The class teacher asked him if he like playtimes or if he played on his own - cam answered both i like playing on my own outside sometimes i play with xxxxxx and xxxxx and thats ok if they will play my game.
I asked him if he would prefer to stay in and he answered somtimes yes but sometimes no !!!
After nearly 2 hours arguing cam had shown that he needs the free choice so i have proposed that he is expected to go ot to play but if he finds it difficult he is to find his class teacher and will be allowed to stay in. It will also show how many days he really has issues and how many days the school decided without asking him he has issues
Thanks for the advice I will look into the whole statementing issue and have made a call to parent partnership to see what the think.
Thanks again guys
Louise x x x