As a parent of an 8 yo....what would think?

[Disney1fan2002]

We are going away for a week the end of June. My DS's b-day is Jun 14th, my DD's b-day is Jul. 17th.

I am thinking of letting one of them invite a friend on vacation with us (it would include a day trip to Animal Kingdom, to ride EE) in lieu of a b-day party.

My DS only has one close friend, so I know who he would invite, and am pretty sure his parents would not have a problem with letting him come along. He is turning 10 in June, and this would be his last year fir a b-day party...so he will probably not want to invite his friend. My DD who is going to be 8 in June, would LOVE for a friend to come along. The little friend I would want her to bring, is already 8. I am friends with her mom. We have known each other since the girls were in Preschool. (where they met)

Here is my question, before I ask my friend if I can take her ONLY child along with us, in a car for 24 hours to drive to FLA, and keep her with us for a week, how would you feel if someone asked you? I don't want to put her on the spot. I am crazy to think she would allow her DD to come with us? If they invited my DD, I would say yes, but I have 3 kids, and it easy for me to let one of them go away. Having an only child is different.

 

[dizagain]

Hi! I have 9 and 11 yr old DD's. I don't think I'd let either of them go...DD11 possibly, but only with one family that I can think of. My girls would most likely not want to go anyway for so long. I think it's a neat idea, though, and if you're friends with the mom you could casually bring it up and ask her what she thinks...If the above-mentioned family asked me if DD could go on vacation with them - I'd just be honest with them and I wouldn't think they were strange! I'd be appreciative!

 

[ElizaB39]

Hi I have an 8 1/2 year old DS and a 12 year old DD. I would let the DD go, with one family only, she would LOVE it. I wouldn't let the DS go, too young and just started one night sleepovers this year. There isn't a family I would let him go with though either.

 

[minkydog]

I would not have let my kids go on that trip either when they were 8. That's a long, long drive and a week is a long time for a young child to be away from family. Maybe your friend will think it's a great idea, but I would have to turn it down. Both of my kids would have been terribly homesick. Neither one of them liked being away from home until they were about 12.

 

[Marseeya]

Depends on the level of friendship. If it were one of my best friends, I'd say yes. If it was one of my kids' best friends, probably not as likely.

 

[Skywalker]

If it were me, I would really think the world of you for such a great offer but I am another one who would have to say no. My son is 7 and I can't even imagine considering it!

 

[Blondy876]

I would think that it was a wonderfully generous offer but I wouldn't let my child go. It's too far and too long. I wouldn't even let her go with family so there is no way I would let her go with friends.

 

[Kimberle]

I really don't see why having an only child is "different". A child is exactly the same, regardless of how many siblings s/he had.

No, I would not let my 8 yo go on a trip that long and that far from home.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

I'm not sure if I'd let my 8yo go, either. I still have a hard time when she goes on a sleepover, or skiing for the day with friends (only a 60-90 minute drive, and she's not an only.

We have good friends like that, too, where the kids are buddies and we've known them since the kids were babies. I trust them completely and were I to allow my dd to go on a trip like that, it'd be with them. But still, I don't think she's ready to be away from us for so long.

Sorry. I'd still ask them though, they may feel differently about it.

 

[Cinderella2004]

As a mother of a 7, turning 8 also in June daughter, I too think I would say no. There is only 1 family I can think of that would even ask that (we are going together this weekend as a matter of fact!!) and it seems to be the same situation. Girls have known each other since preschool, and the parents have become very good friends.

I can't imagine my DD being comfortable with being away from us for a week. She's an only child too.

I would be flattered you asked though, as long as it wasn't in front of my daughter!!! LOl

 

[tiggerlover]

I am the mother to an only child who will be turning 10 in June and I would not let my child go. I think it is a wonderful thing for you to offer to do, but I just couldn't let my son go that far and for so long. I have a hard time when DS goes on sleepovers, I can't imagine a whole week. I haven't even sent him to grandma's (400 miles away) for a week!!

 

[Bonnie40]

I've probably read your post incorrectly, but are you only considering inviting a friend of one of your children, not both of them? I wouldn't have been comfortable sending any of my children along with another family so far away for so long a time, but that's just me. Along with that, my feelings are that family vacations are just that - family vacations. Kids don't act the same when they are around their friends and I find the time we have spent as a family on vacation absolutely the best!

I don't know if I would want to be responsible for someone else's child either...

Also, there have been many trip reports where a family has brought along a 'friend' and it's been a nightmare! I couldn't imagine that and it wouldn't be worth the risk!

How's that for an opinion!

 

[tiggerlover]

I am the mother to an only child who will be turning 10 in June and I would not let my child go. I think it is a wonderful thing for you to offer to do, but I just couldn't let my son go that far and for so long. I have a hard time when DS goes on sleepovers, I can't imagine a whole week. I haven't even sent him to grandma's (400 miles away) for a week!!

On the flip side, I have a friend who has three kids and her youngest DS is my son's age and she would let him go in a heartbeat (and has in a similar situation).

 

[barkley]

my kids are just shy of 9 and 11 1/2 and i would'nt let either go.

also have either of these friends spent an extended period of time with your family? a child interacting on playdates, at school or a sleepover can be entirely different for a week on end. my own children are entirely different when on vacation (much harder to come down from the excitement, harder to enforce bedtimes, eating habits...). i think it is also difficult to understand at 8/9/10 that bringing a friend along (in most circumstances unless the parent going has special financial resources) may result in not getting as many souvineers, not getting the treats you are used to when you want to, having to do what your friend wants and it not being driven by your own/your siblings desires...

there's also the consideration of what to do if the "guest" gets upset and wants to go home-and home is a 24 hour car ride away.

 

[CanBeGrumpy]

Looking at the flip side here, what if you do take her and then she is homesick? You can't exactly drive her back home and return to your vacation. I think the possibility of this ruining your vacation is huge!

From the parenting side of the coin, I wouldn't let my kids go until maybe they were 14 or so. I think 8 is way too young! My kids are 6 (almost 7) and 9 and no way would I allow either of them to go away that far from me. I have a nephew who just turned 14 and I would say he is the perfect age for something like this. Good luck!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I really don't see why having an only child is "different". A child is exactly the same, regardless of how many siblings s/he had.

No, I would not let my 8 yo go on a trip that long and that far from home.

Not saying an only child is different. A child with siblings would be missed as much as an only child. But, if it were my DD, knowing she would be missed, I would still have the 2 other kids home with me to take my mind off missing DD too much. The parents of an only child would not have anyone else to "distract" them from missing her. That is why I say it would be easier for me to let my DD go, because I have 2 other kids.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I've probably read your post incorrectly, but are you only considering inviting a friend of one of your children, not both of them? :

Yes, just ONE friend. So if it ends up my DD does bring a friend, she would pass on a b-day party this year. That is why I think my DS would pass on the friend, because we all agreed last year that the 10th year is the last for a friends b-day party. He already has "big" plans for his last party.

 

[clh2]

My DD is an only child. Some people think it matters on this thread. I particular don't think it matters. DD has been doing a variety of overnight camps for the past three summers - although none for longer than 1 week. While I miss DD when she is gone, I know she is having a great time!

Ok - so my DD is almost 12. There is only 1 family I would let take my DD on a week long trip - that is her favorite cousin's family. I 100% trust that particular BIL & SIL. Plus, DD stayed at their house for a week 3 years ago, and DD and her cousin have done week-long overnight camps for the past 2 summers.

This just wouldn't be a big deal for me.

I actually have another BIL & SIL who live in Florida, and they have been begging for us to send DD on a plane since she was 4 to come down and visit. This particular SIL I wouldn't trust with my DD for 2 minutes, even up here. This SIL (who doesn't have kids, BTW) just doesn't get that kids need to be watched, mostly all the time. I just couldn't imagine DD getting lost, and not really knowing where she was. I would be far too worried about her being with this SIL.

 

[luv2nascar]

my dd will be 11 in July and last year was her first getaway by herself (without me or her dad). My MIL invited her to go with her to the shore for 4 days - We live in PA and drive to Jersey Shore was about 4 hours. I missed her terrible. But she enjoyed it. I have agreed to let her go 6 1/2 hrs away this summer to my parents for a week. She is excited. It is hard to let them go. But let my baby go with a friends parents that far no way I have to work up to this stuff.

 

[disney4us2002]

I wouldn't let my 9 yr old and probably not even my 12 yr old. My boys have had sleepovers away from home for birthday parties and such but in groups, not individually, and not for a week except with grandma. Personally, I wouldn't even offer at that age. The risks seem too great imho.

In a sort of related way, my 9 yr old called a classmate Saturday afternoon and asked if he could come over for a few hours to play as it was unseasonably warm. The friend put his mom on the phone who said "I'm sorry, but I don't know you from Adam; I can't possibly let my son go to your home." We opted to meet at the park and the kids shot baskets and skateboarded for a bit. Now that we've at least met, maybe the kids can get together but I find most people are pretty protective (and rightly so).