Are we too stressed?

I don't see the outbursts much and it is shocking when I see them.

I'm not sure if it is too stressed as someone who has anger management issues. Anger is a tough emotion--and it is healthy as it warns us to back away from the situation before we explode. Someone who cannot manage their anger is more apt to string a lace of profanities over the wrong size coffee cup.

Someone who is stressed would probably sigh in exasperation, say something like--"this always happens to me" and appear flustered and unable to cope with said mis-poured cup of coffee.

Your Dunkin' Donuts example seemed more like an abuser versus a stressed out guy.

And sometimes folks do reach their breaking point necessitating a complaint--but even then, there is upset--and then there is abusive. Dunkin' donuts dude is the latter.

:flower3:

I'm noticing an upward trend of rude, entitled, "stressed" individuals myself. I'm seeing a lot of the abusive type behavior also-- what's with the upward trend in that? Is it that people are stressed and angry to the brink of being abusive, or is it that abusive types are just allowing themselves to be like that in public? I've been noticing this kind of stuff pretty often.

Oh, I'm only quoting you because I both agree and want your thoughts, not being argumentative :) :flower3:
 
I do think we are experiencing more stress.

1) 24/7 exposure to "bad news". No more down time. even here on the dis where you would think is a pretty "happy" place, can be filled with complaints. from the time we wake up to the time we go to bed we hear how we are on the verge of destruction. I make it a point to unplug on Sundays.

2) sense of entitlement. We do have a sense of "I deserve". once again, how many commercials do you hear that spout "you deserve" that new car or that trip to disney. then when it doesn't happened we're mad.

3) technology is turning us into mini "islands". basically you no longer have to interface with others. we plug in and tune out. How many people do you see pretty much wandering around through their daily life with some thing stuck in the ears.

4) instant gratification. patience is no longer how strong suit. we want instantaneous results, instantaneous entertainment and service. God forbid we have to actually wait 2 minutes to recieve our cup of coffee and if you don't gun it, the nanosecond the light turns green, watch out.

I agree with all of these points. Our society is changing. However, for all the people that get sucked into these holes, there are double the amount of people who don't.

I have been on a mission to "pass on the kindness" whenever I can. It is amazing to see someone's response when you just help them get a can off the top shelf in a grocery store!
 
As a percentage, I see far fewer outbursts compared with those that just pass by me, unnoticed.

However, what I do see and hear more often is "I'm sooooooooooooo stressed."

Unfortunately, many people that I know personally are bringing much of that stress upon themselves. They over schedule, over examine and try to over achieve on every aspect of their lives. I notice far more type A personalities in this world. Too many that need to go, go, go yet they constantly complain about being stressed. I don't recall this trend with people my age when I was in my 20's. Now, it seems common for both my peers and those younger than me.
 
I think it's more a sense of entitlement and a lack of manners. Too many people think they deserve preferential treatment, that they should never have to wait, and that they should never hear the word "no."

Yes, some people are more stressed, but a lot people use it as an excuse for being rude.
 
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gotta disagree with you on this one Lisa well maybe not disagree as to say I think its simplified, anger is generally a major sign of stress. Usually the first thing people will say when they see uncharateristic anger is "that person has a lot of stress". A anger management problem generally manifest itself often and early.

A person who is stressed and suffering from anxiety because they are about to lose their job will not sign over the mis poured cup of coffee, he is more inclined to rage. He has no control over his job so the coffee becomes another "straw" on the camels back.


I do think we are experiencing more stress.

1) 24/7 exposure to "bad news". No more down time. even here on the dis where you would think is a pretty "happy" place, can be filled with complaints. from the time we wake up to the time we go to bed we hear how we are on the verge of destruction. I make it a point to unplug on Sundays.

I know people who come back to work on Monday more stressed than when they left on Friday. between 24/7 trying to entertain their kids and then shopping and running around all day sunday, when do they get 1 hour to simply chill?

Look at these boards, how many people stress over trying to plan the "perfect" Disney trip. God forbid they don't ride TSM 5 times.

2) sense of entitlement. We do have a sense of "I deserve". once again, how many commercials do you hear that spout "you deserve" that new car or that trip to disney. then when it doesn't happened we're mad.

3) technology is turning us into mini "islands". basically you no longer have to interface with others. we plug in and tune out. How many people do you see pretty much wandering around through their daily life with some thing stuck in the ears.

4) instant gratification. patience is no longer how strong suit. we want instantaneous results, instantaneous entertainment and service. God forbid we have to actually wait 2 minutes to recieve our cup of coffee and if you don't gun it, the nanosecond the light turns green, watch out.

As always, Eliza, your post makes the most sense;)
 
Yes.

I know that you want to sing the praises of the Europeans however the recent riots have got to get you to see that they have outbursts as well.

People hate change and it causes anxiety which leads to outbursts. Right now the globe is in a bit of a financial mess.

People that are wealthy and financially secure are probably less stressed than those of us who need to make more money to pay off debts while worrying about the fact you may not have a job tomorrow.

I think you can admire the traits and customs of other people without "singing their praises". I do admire how they treat food and meal time. It is a very nice and relaxing mentality while we tend to have adopted a "super size" every thing and then shove it down our throats as quick as humanly possible.

This attitude has nothing to do about money, the most modest Italian or Portugese will still treat dinner time as a more family, relaxing break.

Nothing wrong with admiring that.
 
I'm noticing an upward trend of rude, entitled, "stressed" individuals myself. I'm seeing a lot of the abusive type behavior also-- what's with the upward trend in that? Is it that people are stressed and angry to the brink of being abusive, or is it that abusive types are just allowing themselves to be like that in public? I've been noticing this kind of stuff pretty often.

Oh, I'm only quoting you because I both agree and want your thoughts, not being argumentative :) :flower3:

Boy, that is an interesting point. It does seem that even our anger has been ratched up a bit.

I heard a sociologist on tv say that he believes it's because we are becoming more "immuned" or "desensitized" . For example, maybe 20 years ago to hear certain curse words on tv would have been shocking, now I'm so accostume to hearing all sort of language on TV, nothing shocks me.

I posted back during the snow storm about my girlfriend who is a customer service rep for US air out of Philly. She sees the ratched up the anger level all the time. Flight delays due to weather always pissed people off but now they have no problem whatsoever calling her a "fat B^%ch" or screaming "You and US airways go F yourself. :scared1: and it's like nothing will placate them.
 
Boy, that is an interesting point. It does seem that even our anger has been ratched up a bit.

I heard a sociologist on tv say that he believes it's because we are becoming more "immuned" or "desensitized" . For example, maybe 20 years ago to hear certain curse words on tv would have been shocking, now I'm so accostume to hearing all sort of language on TV, nothing shocks me.

I posted back during the snow storm about my girlfriend who is a customer service rep for US air out of Philly. She sees the ratched up the anger level all the time. Flight delays due to weather always pissed people off but now they have no problem whatsoever calling her a "fat B^%ch" or screaming "You and US airways go F yourself. :scared1: and it's like nothing will placate them.

I think this is very true.

I also think a part of it is that sense of entitlement that Bicker mentioned.
 
One of my funniest memories is from a trip to Venice my sister and I took. We were trying to explain to the owner of a local small cafe what a "togo" cup was. He was horrified. :scared1: :laughing: he could not believe that even Americans would be so "Tacky" as to want to drink expresso on a bus.
He simply could not understand how if we were on vacation why we could not spend 5 minutes and sit down and enjoy our coffee.


I love that story :goodvibes
 
I think stress and our fast-paced way of life is part of it, but the entilement and self-centeredness that some people seem to have is part of it too. I am shocked when I see people take things so personally that aren't about them at all.

We all know people who call back wrong numbers, but I was once called by a lady DEMANDING to know why I had called her. I simply hit a 4 insted of a 9 by accident ('cause my keypad is small and my fingers are big) and hung up when I realized what I had done, but obviously my number was on her caller ID and she was certain I had called her on purpose. It was like she'd never heard of a wrong number. She went on and on about why did I call her, ho dare I call her. How many times did I need to say, "I'm sorry, I dialed a wrong number. It was just an accident." Umm, lady I did not call YOU. I just have fat fingers! Sheesh! It was a simple mistake, not something aimed at you personally.

The incident with the guy who got a medium coffee has that same "feel" to it. The server accidently grabbed the wrong size cup. I don't think he was intentionally trying to cheat the customer, but that's apparently how the guy took it. I would have just said, "Excuse me, I ordered a large," and thought nothing else of it. It seemed that customer took it as a personal attack against him specifically. Sorry, dude, it's not all about you!
 
I think stress and our fast-paced way of life is part of it, but the entilement and self-centeredness that some people seem to have is part of it too. I am shocked when I see people take things so personally that aren't about them at all.

We all know people who call back wrong numbers, but I was once called by a lady DEMANDING to know why I had called her. I simply hit a 4 insted of a 9 by accident ('cause my keypad is small and my fingers are big) and hung up when I realized what I had done, but obviously my number was on her caller ID and she was certain I had called her on purpose. It was like she'd never heard of a wrong number. She went on and on about why did I call her, ho dare I call her. How many times did I need to say, "I'm sorry, I dialed a wrong number. It was just an accident." Umm, lady I did not call YOU. I just have fat fingers! Sheesh! It was a simple mistake, not something aimed at you personally.

The incident with the guy who got a medium coffee has that same "feel" to it. The server accidently grabbed the wrong size cup. I don't think he was intentionally trying to cheat the customer, but that's apparently how the guy took it. I would have just said, "Excuse me, I ordered a large," and thought nothing else of it. It seemed that customer took it as a personal attack against him specifically. Sorry, dude, it's not all about you!

I got you beat. About 8 years ago, I dialed a wrong number by accident (transposed two of the digits) trying to call my sis at work. Apologized and hung up. About a week later, I did the same thing again to the same number. :rolleyes:Oops!
Ten minutes later I got a call from the Sheriff's office wanting to know what was going on and why I was "stalking" this woman. :headache:
Needless to say, I never ACCIDENTALLY called her again. I was really, really careful when I had to call my sis.
 
Boy, that is an interesting point. It does seem that even our anger has been ratched up a bit.

I heard a sociologist on tv say that he believes it's because we are becoming more "immuned" or "desensitized" . For example, maybe 20 years ago to hear certain curse words on tv would have been shocking, now I'm so accostume to hearing all sort of language on TV, nothing shocks me.

I posted back during the snow storm about my girlfriend who is a customer service rep for US air out of Philly. She sees the ratched up the anger level all the time. Flight delays due to weather always pissed people off but now they have no problem whatsoever calling her a "fat B^%ch" or screaming "You and US airways go F yourself. :scared1: and it's like nothing will placate them.

Yep, that's precisely the people I'm talking about. The people your g/f are talking about are probably the same people I'm talking about. Granted there are some absolutely lovely people in the Phila area, but man, there are a whole lot of angry, entitled, stressed out people.
 
I agree 100% about what was already stated but I want to add that Customer Service and common courtesy from employees seems to be "totally gone" also.

I needed an antibiotic the other day. So I went to Rite-Aid where I always go. They have no clue who I am since the employees are always changing. When I worked in the pharmacy we tried to remember as many as possible (Okay that is really OT but another pet peeve of mine) So I dropped off the prescription and asked to wait. The girl said it would be around 20 minutes. No problem. DH and I shopped over 30 minutes, went back. I asked for my prescription and the young lady yelled, YES yelled, that I had only waited 5 minutes, come back in at least 20 more. I told her no it had been over 30 did she have the wrong customer. She looked at me and DH, said WHATEVER, and walked away. I waited a bit then had to go get the manager so someone would wait on me.

That was just ONE example of many that I have encountered over the last couple of weeks. Yesterday I was on hold for 2 1/2 hours with Macy's to explain I sent a jacket back for an exchange not a refund.

How can you not be stressed over this?? I kept my cool, but my tone was definitely "harsher" than normal.
 
The best book I've ever read is "The Four Agreements". It's amazing how easily it is to just let things go, and how much more enjoyable life is without all the stress and pressure.

I haven't read the book, but this is how I roll:)
 
I routinely go three or four days and don't leave my rural neighborhood. I think I'd be ok. :rotfl:

I love Italians. :lovestruc:laughing:


Same here. Haven't left house in 2 days now and hope I can make it till least Friday before I have to venture out to the grocery store :lmao:
 
I think a lot of stress stems from an obsession with having "more". Very effective marketing has convinced people that they all need a 4000 sq ft house. That's just the beginning. You certainly can't furnish it with used This End Up furniture, so now you owe money to Ethan Allen, or whomever.

You certainly can't park a Hyundai or Kia outside the McMansion, so there's someone else you owe money to.

You and your kids can't wear no-brand clothes when you step out of that house, so now you owe $$ to Ann Taylor, Abercrombie and Nordstrom's.

When that need collides with this economy, what a mess.
 
Absolutely I think we're too stressed, and it gets worse in difficult economic times. Businesses cut back so fewer people are divvying up the same amount of work, no one feels secure, we're all paying more and more every year for essentials like food and health care while our wages stay flat or fall, and increasingly perks like vacation time and personal days are paper-only with the unspoken knowledge that to use these things is to put yourself at the top of the list for the next round of staffing cuts.

Plus we're increasingly a 24/7 society that is so overstimulated that millions are chronically sleep deprived, our nutrition on whole pretty much sucks, and we lack the interpersonal connections that are proven to reduce stress and improve coping mechanisms. It is no wonder more people are "on the edge" than before.
 
From the DIS to the line at the coffee shop I see more and more examples of people flying off the handle for, seemingly, ridiculous things.

Is this a case where we, as a society, are wayyy overstressed, or is something else going on?

This morning I saw a man go into full tirade mode, complete with profanities, about the fact that the guy at Dunkin' Donuts poured him a medium coffee, instead of a large. A simple, "Excuse me, I ordered a large, not a medium," obviously didn't suffice, but, instead, the man practically lept over the counter to undress the worker in front of a line of customers. :confused3

Seriously, what is going on when something like that can cause someone to snap? I see it more and more, everyday. Road rage incidents over simple things, people constantly criticizing and complaining. Is this a worldwide movement, or is it uniquely American?

I just don't know anymore.


People are stressed but I believe it's also because we as a society have been programmed not to get involved when people display bad behavior in certain situations.

Would this have happened 30, 40 or 50 years ago? I don't think so. Other men in the establishment would have taken the man to task and told him to knock it off. Not anymore.

Too many people have no boundaries. What you witnessed is what happens when a snowflake grows into adulthood and thinks the world revolves around him.
 
So many great thoughts on this thread, so here are mine:

1. Coping strategies - either people don't have any, or, they rely on drugs, alcohol, food, spending money or gambling to cope. I find so many people have no idea how to cope, without a beer after work, wine for dinner each night, or spending $400.00 on a purse. Not only are problems still there, but you may have bigger ones, and in turn, you don't learn to cope without having some kind of crutch at your disposal. This goes with number 2.

2. Acquring stuff - As so many already mentioned, our society is consumed with gathering stuff, so people rely on stuff to make themselves feel better. Problem is, that a lot of the stuff people use to cope, costs money, or harms the mind or body. People seem to define themselves with stuff, and so if you don't get the stuff you want, it may affect your ability to cope on a daily basis, as our self-esteem, as well as how we treat others is at question.

3. Mental issues - So many undiagnosed mental or emotional issues, and this runs in families, so you have many generations of families teaching their kids that bullying is ok, racism is ok, homophobia is ok, etc.

4. Exhaustion - People work too much, sleep too litte, eat/drink too much, etc. There are different stressors or triggers for people, but so many people I see nowadays, for the above reasons, are set off by the smallest of triggers and stressors. Sorry, but getting the wrong cup of coffee is not stressful...losing a family member to cancer at a very young age is.

5. Entitlement - This might be one of the biggest problems of all. Why do so many people feel they are the only ones on earth? We are, for the most part, an unatruistic society, and really have no idea, nor any care or concern for what others are going through, on a daily basis. What has happened to good citizenship, and having care and concerns for others, without personal gain?

6. Poverty/Unemployment - If you are going to lose your home, you are majorly stressed out, and so daily events are big triggers. I notice that with people so on edge about finances, they are easily set off. Hubby is a bank manager, and spends a lot of time counselling clients as they sit their in tears, or, having major meltdowns about finances. It's a major stressor for so many families...

7. Loss of faith - I can't really discuss this, as per DIS rules, but I see a lack of spirituality in our society, and it really does transcend into how people treat one another.

8. Lack of boundaries - Facebook issues, gossip, spreading rumours, cheating partners, etc. What has become of morals/values, and personal boundaries? How about personal responsibility?

9. Lack of social skills - Just because you have a long list of Facebook 'friends' it doesn't meant you actually have a meaningful relationship with any of them. People seem to have forgotten how to converse, send letters, take turns, etc., and this means lots of stress for those who are at the receiving end - retail workers, teachers, parents, etc.

Life has stressful elements to it, but on the whole, I don't consider myself a stressful person, nor, would I describe life as stressful, and I have lost several immediate family members this past year (horrible year for that). My family is so strong, and people keep asking us how we do it, and there are varoius things at play: faith, staying healthy, eating well, etc. It's all about what you view as stress, and how you cope, but it also involves many of the above triggers too. Put all of those together, and we have a fairly stressed society - values have been misplaced or lost, IMHO, and this also adds to a feeling of hopelessness, which in turn has people become cynical and negative.

Great thread, Tiger
 
I see a LOT less since I moved South, outbursts were the regularly when I was growing up, normal in NY. :lmao:

I always see an adult who doesn't know how to handle themselves as the children melting down in public while a parent hands them whatever they were falling out about all grown up. They never got the message that it's inappropriate behavior, but a method to get what they want.
 

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