Are we just not meant to go?

[mom2meiko]

Hi all.

We are supposed to be leaving on Saturday for a long awaited, much anticipated trip to WDW. We are traveling with friends so our decision to go or not go would also impact them as well.

The first stumbling block we encountered was some financial issues. I became concerned that our situation was so severe we may not be able to pay our mortgage and urged dh to cancel the trip. He was certain the situation would turn around and said we should still plan for the trip. It came time to book our flights and we didn't have the $$ yet so I again suggested cancelling. He again fought me on it. Our friends and travel companions at this point took it upon themselves to buy our tickets for us! (They had planned to give us money during the trip because we are using our timeshare for us all to stay in so they bought our tickets for us instead. We didn't ask, wouldn't have accepted but they did it and that's that. They are such incredible friends - we are so blessed to have them in our lives.) So - now I'm still concerned but we have these tix that our friends paid for - and dh convinces me that everything had been paid for and we were still going. OK - turns out that was a good plan because our financial situation has turned around and we are fine now - phew! (Can't go crazy - we are not rich but the problems have been resolved and we have no reason to think they won't stay that way.)

The next stumbling block happened when dh was laid off from his job! How can we go on vacation when he isn't working? Well - that was resolved when he got a new job and they were OK with him taking his 2nd week off to go on a previously scheduled vacation - phew! Unfortunately, they also asked him to work late tomorrow night - until 10 PM - the night before we leave!!! Are you kidding me?!?!?!

Next, my laptop died last week. All of our Disney planning materials were stored on it! EVERYTHING! Thankfully, my IT department at work was able to fix the problem and no data was lost! Phew!

Now - my aunt (we are very close - she lived with dh and i for nearly 4 years) has suffered a stroke this week! This caused several complications!

#1 - and most importantly, she is doing well right now but she is still in the hospital, will be going in a rehab facility in the next few days and will be staying there for at least 5 days. My dad (his sister) insists that we still go on the trip - in fact says she would be furious if she knew we were even contemplating not going. I'm terrified that something may happen to her while we are away.

#2 - she was scheduled to house/dog sit for us while we were away. a slight monkey wrench but resolved by asking my mother to take our dog for the week. she's not thrilled but did agree. of course she lives 2+ hours away so dh has a long night ahead of him tonight as he drives meiko up to her house and then back home again.

#3 - i didn't have any scheduled childcare this week because we are in transition to a new setup for my dd. my father was going to be watching both kids for the week and then was unable to because he needed to be in the hospital with my aunt. so - i ended up having to take this week off from work as vacation time. (i was off for xmas/new years week - then off next week as well - which means 3+ weeks off from work. not necessarily a bad thing of course!)

#4 - i have spent each day busy taking care of the 2 kids and fielding phone calls most of the day each day to relay information on my aunt's condition to concerned family members and then each night i have run out the door (literally the minute my poor dh has walked in from his brand new job each night) to the hospital to sit with her until visiting hours end. packing finally started late last night - but clearly isn't going very quickly.​

(and before anyone wants to yell at me about priorities - my aunt's health is absolutely the #1 priority to me here. my brain just can't help but figure out how things will be impacted whenever something happens - good or bad. i am a "plan for the worst and pray for the best" kind of person who analyzes situations as they happen.)

so - my question is - have all of these things happened for a reason? are these just signs that we are not meant to go on this trip? i know it sounds crazy but all of these things - combined with the recent terror scare - has me really nervous about going on this trip! does anyone else worry about these things or am i the only insane person in the world who worries too much?

 

[a1tinkfans]

Go! Enjoy! Its already paid.
As far as your aunt goes, I am so sorry she is ill. If you feel that you can relax and perhaps just call to check in with your family each day? Seems like you know your aunt rather well, would SHE be disturbed that you stayed home after all the planning?
I think that the "things" you mentioned (other than your aunt) really have ALL worked themselves out...so if THAT was a sign, its GOOD!
Heres hoping for a speedy recovery for your aunt and a GREAT trip for you all.
By the way, YES, you are very blessed to have such kind friends, so disappointing them and potentially costing them loss of $$ should also be considered.....

Best of luck in your decision...I say GO!!!!!! And then come back and tell us about your wonderful trip and your aunts recovery!

 

[Mathfailure]

I am of the mind that you might not enjoy this vacation because of worries and THAT is the reason you might be better off cancelling. It is an expensive trip, and to have so much hanging, well I think another time would be my choice.

Your children are quite little, so the impact of not going would be on you and your husband. If you do not go, would it cause difficulties between you two? That is the only other consideration I would have, and it is important as it is his vacation and trip also, obviously.

So cancel if you can, with peace between you two, everyone else needs to realize this is a couple's decision. That would be my advice.

But I am usually the really practical one, and often over ruled in MY family!

What ever you decide, I wish you and your Aunt well.

 

[blessedby3]

I would say go. You need a break from everyday things!! You also have everything paid for (not to mention the airfare your nice friends paid for). This trip also affects them and I dont think you can get airfare refunded. Thats a lot of money just in airfare and they paid it all between theirs and yours. It sounds like your aunt is going to be okay if she only will have to be in rehab for 5 days, not long term. She would want you to go anyway from what your dad says. Go, relax, have fun and check back in with your family to give you peace of mind about your aunt.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I would say go. You need a break from everyday things!! You also have everything paid for (not to mention the airfare your nice friends paid for). This trip also affects them and I dont think you can get airfare refunded. Thats a lot of money just in airfare and they paid it all between theirs and yours. It sounds like your aunt is going to be okay if she only will have to be in rehab for 5 days, not long term. She would want you to go anyway from what your dad says. Go, relax, have fun and check back in with your family to give you peace of mind about your aunt.

I second this. It sounds like you could use a great vacation from everything that has been going on recently. Go and have fun and leave all of your worries behind.

 

[micheleq]

Go! It's a sign that you need a break. Don't stress over packing, the dog, etc. Enjoy the vacation so you can re-charge your batteries and come back refreshed.

 

[Corjack]

Well all the stuff you posted just sounds like life to me. And it sounds like the perfect reason to FLEE your home and go visit Mickey!!! GO have fun and don't let life get to you.

 

[Emma's Dad]

Sounds like you definitely need a vacation I would still go. You can't control your aunt's health any more than you can control the sun rising in the morning. Since your problems have been nicely solved, I would say that is a sign that you are supposed to go Have a great time!

 

[Heidijs]

GO! Honestly...do your think your aunt would care if you left? Most people would say, don't worry about me! You go enjoy that vacation!!!!

 

[CarolAnnB]

I think you should still go. You need a break after a rollercoaster year and there are others besides you who would be impacted if you cancelled. Since you have a laptop, maybe take that along and have one of the people who call you every night send daily updates via email to everyone so you don't have to worry about that. If she is going to rehab, it doesn't sound like she's in critical condition so there probably won't be much you can do if you are home besides visit her, and I think she would probably be upset if she felt she was the cause of canceling.

 

[RMAMom]

It seems as though your Aunt is the only thing holding you back at this point and unless you work in the rehab center specializing in stroke recovery all you can do is love her. You can do that from Disney. If you cancel because of her she will feel terrible and you don't want to add to her stress. Go on your much needed vacation and sent your Aunt a postcard, it will probably cheer her up and be a bright spot in her day.
Enjoy your trip!

 

[busyshrew]

I'd also like to add the following thought: your friends paid for your tickets so that, in part, they would have the pleasure of your company on this trip. I think that's why the decision is complicated. It's not just you and your family that is going to feel an impact from cancelling - it's these friends as well.

I'm sure they would understand, but are they in a position to cancel and reschedule? Or will this mess up their vacation too?

Perhaps you, DH & children could all go, on the understanding that if the situation requires it, you alone could return home to deal with such a situation?

Honestly, I would go....

 

[coconutsunshine]

First off i'm so sorry about your aunt and am glad to hear she is doing okay.
I say go. I think you are in much need of a break and some fun time with your family. Maybe all the things that have happened were to make you extra thankful of this trip. Enjoy while you can -- its paid for and you never know what a year can bring.

 

[arielmomma]

Go have fun!!

 

[wdwfan16]

They are all normal stuff that happened. If one looks hard enough for "signs" they will find them.

Since your Aunt seems to be doing well, go on your trip as planned. Have a great time.

 

[brergnat]

Okay, call me the conservative one if you wish, but I would not go. First of all, you will feel guilty the WHOLE time (and for the rest of your life) if something happens to your aunt while you are away. Plus, if your financial situation is so shaky, it's probably not best to take a vacation. What if YOU lose YOUR job? Can you afford to stay afloat for up to 6-8 months if it takes that long to find another job? I'm not sure what your financial issues have been lately (nor do I want to know), but if you don't have a substantial emergency savings fund saved up at this time, it's probably wise to be a bit frugal with your unnecessary expenditures. Sounds like your DH needs a lesson in financial security if he was unwilling to cancel a trip after a job layoff in the hopes that "it will get better"...

Unfortunately, you have involved friends in this trip. The plane tickets are probably non refundable, and will cost $$$ to change them. In addition, the accommodations are in YOUR name, and they will not be able to use them without you (or will they?).

This comes down to doing what YOU feel is the responsible thing. No one can tell you what to do, but your first paragraph about the financial thing was enough of a red flag to ME to wonder what the heck you guys are thinking taking a vacation (ANY vacation) when your situation is not fully under control.

 

[arcticdisneylovers]

I'm sure your Aunt would want you to go! In fact she would probably feel horrible if you cancelled. You don't want her to feel guilty After all of this upset, I'd say you deserve a break. Try to forget your worries for a few days and enjoy some family time at the "happiest place on earth"

 

[bumbershoot]

If you're looking at signs...I'm seeing that each sign has worked out, even to where your dad is telling you how his sister would feel if you cancelled b/c of her health, to point the way TO going.


Ultimately, though, signs are a really iffy way to make decisions. Trust me, I know this.


Everything is paid or saved for, your husband has obviously found a lovely employer, etc. I know that my aunt would HATE it if any of her family canceled plans that were long-awaited b/c of her health. She's say that there's nothing you can do, even if something does happen.

 

[AmyBWV99]

I work in PM&R and if her Drs feel she is stable enough to go to a Rehab unit that's a really positive sign!

I am a mom of a medical fragile child and I know ALL about worries about health of a loved one but if she feels you should go and she's moving in a positive direction that is a sign for you to go. You'll never have the ultimate green light, our son's neurosurgeon told us; life's out there to live go to Disneyworld. (we had a trip planned we had at one time considered cancelling even tho he was stable) He was fine and we had a blast! Best advice ever.

 

[rosebud4]

Go on the trip! I work with senior citizen's and depending on how much the stroke affected her mobility, she maybe in rehab up to 100 days. She will need you when she gets home for the little things she needs assistance with, such as a grocery run or some housecleaning. Enjoy the time with your family at Disney and be refreshed to help your extended family upon return!