Are there any other foster parents out there?

[Stephieann]

My dh and i have been foster parents for about 4 yrs now. I was wondering if there was any other DISers that were foster parents? And what state?

Stephanie

 

[DisneyDotty]

Yep--we've been foster parents for over three years now, here in Illnois. We don't currently have anyone placed with us--actually in the process of switching agencies.

 

[Stephieann]

Yep--we've been foster parents for over three years now, here in Illnois. We don't currently have anyone placed with us--actually in the process of switching agencies.

so you go through an agencies. Have you ever gone through the state? I currently have 2 girls 4 and 6 but they seem to be going home dec 19th.

what is the ages that you take? My DH and I only like to take 0-6 yrs old. (may take some older depends on the situation.)

 

[chell]

My sister is and she goes through an agency.

I was going to but after her first foster child was moved to another home I realized that when it came down to it there was no way I could do it. It really does take a special person to be able to be a foster parent.

Right now my sister has two adorable little boys who are the loves of my life. My prayer is that she will be able to adopt them soon.

Maybe in a few more years I can be strong enough to keep a child then let it go but right now I just can't. Besides my job wouldn't be very understanding (supportive might be the better pick of words here) of me needing time off.

 

[Stephieann]

My sister is and she goes through an agency.

I was going to but after her first foster child was moved to another home I realized that when it came down to it there was no way I could do it. It really does take a special person to be able to be a foster parent.

Right now my sister has two adorable little boys who are the loves of my life. My prayer is that she will be able to adopt them soon.

COLOR]

I know how it about letting go. We had a 5day old baby that we had and we were told the parents rights were going to be terminated. well guess what... she whent home when she was 11 months old. BROKE OUR HEARTS. DH took it the hardest. we hope to adopt soon!!

 

[KatelynnsAuntie]

Not a foster parent, exactly, but I do have guardianship of one of my nieces, who will be 3 in January. It's gonna kill me if/when she ever goes back to her parents.

 

[chell]

I know how it about letting go. We had a 5day old baby that we had and we were told the parents rights were going to be terminated. well guess what... she whent home when she was 11 months old. BROKE OUR HEARTS. DH took it the hardest. we hope to adopt soon!!

It is amazing how you can do it. Kudos to you and all the other foster parents out there.

Kids sure do have so much love to give.

Dang I didn't go stay with my sisters for the weekend now I wish I had. I miss my boys now.

This is how much I love the boys. I had only changed a diaper when I was about 13 years old and it left me and the baby traumatized because I had it stuck to him. That's what happens when you don't show someone how to change one and the baby won't stay still. Anyway, I have always been afriad to change them and I can't stand the thoughts of a nasty diaper. But with these boys I will change them. Even my family is shocked. But if we know it is a nasty one I'll let someone else handle it if I'm not babysitting or something.

I have them spoiled rotten too. Why don't they live 10 minutes from me like they used to? ::sigh::

Thanks for letting me ramble.

 

[Stephieann]

the foster parents that amaze me is the ones that can take in the special needs child. If i did not work full time i would probably do that but i just dont have the time really. I love my 2 girls and i will be sad when they go home. As a foser parent you try and prepare yourself for this BUT you never can prepare enough.

 

[Aidensmom]

We are not currently, but have been looking into doing so. There are just way too many children out there in need. It breaks my heart.

 

[marlasmom]

You foster parents are wonderful. There is such a need for GOOD foster parents. Congratulations to all of you.

 

[DisneyDotty]

Hi Stephieann--
We haven't tried the state here, although we were of course trained through them. We have had kids as old as 5, but prefer two and under.

 

[MamaLema]

Not me, but just wanted to say foster parents are wonderful

 

[crazelion]

Once I get this kid out my house. I am closing my house for good to foster care system. This kid crazy has h*ll a got serious problems this my first time foster parenting and I will never do it again.


I never ever be a foster parent again. i am not even taking class to keep my certifiaction up. One kid in the foster care system was enough keep me from ever doing this again.

 

[barkley]

foster parents are awe inspiring people. unfortunaly the media tends to focus on the "bad" vs. the overwhelming number of good.

anyone who perceivs this to be a "money making" proposition is greatly mistaken. i have never known a foster parent who did not expend far more financialy (we won't even go into emotionaly) than their allocation.

one of the greatest advents to the system has been the ILP that most states have implemented. an independant living program makes every difference for a child who will be severed from the program on their 18th birthday.

i advise anyone who is interested in foster parenting to seek out foster parent support groups in their area, you will learn so much more from actual foster parents than any publication can reveal. if you have a bad experience with foster parenting make sure to document it and submit it to the agencies (as well as those who oversee them) you deal with (change happens slowly but fortunatly it is one system that does constantly revamp and revise).

burn out is common among foster parents (and foster care staff-that's why the person you talk to today may not be there this afternoon. in most regions the staff is largly new hires who will likely transfer the moment they are eligible to do so). the circumstances are difficult at best, and the system is in no way "user friendly" (a showing of hands-how many placements have you gotten that mandated immediate medical attention but had a pending status for medicare?) and it gets even more difficult when the dependancy is based under a differing state's jurisdiction .

adopting a foster child in one's place happens but it is rare (some states have specific mandates that exclude a foster parent from consideration as an adoptive parent for a child who has been in thier home as a placement) so it is never advisable for anyone to enter into foster parenting with ideals of it leading to adoption (family reunification is the #1 goal, and while the family members in close association with the child may be severly lacking there is always great effort to find a blood relative for guardianship or adoption).

that said-again, foster parents are special, special people who i admire greatly.

 

[gr8tpanther]

I am not a foster parent, but I am looking to possibly put my DD in foster care. She has many issues and I can't do it on my own anymore. And everyone else around me has basically stopped helping because of all her behavior issues. The only other option is foster care.

Is this a bad thing? Funny this thread should be here, because I am having alot of problems being able to just hand my kid over to someone who may or may not be better in raising her. I just don't have the energy anymore, she will be 12 and is starting to make threats towards me and my other DD and I don't know what else to do.

I give alot of Kudos to you who take in and care for children who need you. And for the parents of those children who may need you as well.

 

[Cindyluwho]

I am not a foster parent, but I am looking to possibly put my DD in foster care. She has many issues and I can't do it on my own anymore. And everyone else around me has basically stopped helping because of all her behavior issues. The only other option is foster care.

Is this a bad thing? Funny this thread should be here, because I am having alot of problems being able to just hand my kid over to someone who may or may not be better in raising her. I just don't have the energy anymore, she will be 12 and is starting to make threats towards me and my other DD and I don't know what else to do.

I give alot of Kudos to you who take in and care for children who need you. And for the parents of those children who may need you as well.

I wish I had some words to make this situation easier for you but all I can do is tell you that I hope everything turns out for you. Whatever path you choose will be the right one for you and your DDs. Big Hugs!

 

[stm61]

we were foster parents for yrs but are not doing it now. Nothing to do with the kids, it's just that NJ has gone back to measuring room size and using some formula that tells you how many kids can be in your home, including your own. While my house is a decent size, my kid's rooms are small so we can't be licensed until we either add on or convert the family room. We've done foster care in NJ, SC, and have friends in NC who do it. We are one of the few familys that has not adopted their foster kids.

 

[chell]

I am not a foster parent, but I am looking to possibly put my DD in foster care. She has many issues and I can't do it on my own anymore. And everyone else around me has basically stopped helping because of all her behavior issues. The only other option is foster care.

Is this a bad thing? Funny this thread should be here, because I am having alot of problems being able to just hand my kid over to someone who may or may not be better in raising her. I just don't have the energy anymore, she will be 12 and is starting to make threats towards me and my other DD and I don't know what else to do.

I give alot of Kudos to you who take in and care for children who need you. And for the parents of those children who may need you as well.

Check with your local social services. Here there is a program where the children can temporarily go into foster care to give the child and the parents a much needed break from one another. Therapeutic foster care may be where they would want to place your daughter. Sorry you are having such problems with her.

 

[chell]

adopting a foster child in one's place happens but it is rare (some states have specific mandates that exclude a foster parent from consideration as an adoptive parent for a child who has been in thier home as a placement) so it is never advisable for anyone to enter into foster parenting with ideals of it leading to adoption (family reunification is the #1 goal, and while the family members in close association with the child may be severly lacking there is always great effort to find a blood relative for guardianship or adoption).

The agency I had dealt with handles the more difficult cases. Usually once the children make their way to these people they are looking for a more long-term placement and eventually adoption unless things drastically change with the parents. They have a special section of the agency that is foster-to-adopt. It is interesting how it is different in different states.

 

[nativetxn]

I hope that God blesses each and every one of you foster parents. I've never fostered a child but I was in a foster home once. There were three of us girls...the eldest (me) age 15 then ages 13 and 7. We were blessed with loving and caring foster parents.

Bless you for all that you do for these children.

Katholyn