are our expectations unreachable?

[jann1033]

after reading a number of different posts on different boards I am struck by how sometimes *small* things bcome giant vacation ruining things. for example a short wait or a crowded restaurant, a rude Cm or guest, something else that is not as ''great " as we imagined it to be and it seems sometimes that is considered a *ruined* vacation. maybe it is all the planning and anticipation that creates that unrealistical & unreachable 'perfect" vacation.?..are we just spoiled into thinking Disney should be at our beck and call and never have anything go wrong? have years of A+ CMs made us expect more at a WDW value resort than we would at a 5*"real" world hotel?

any ideas about this or how to combat it cause I don't want it to happen to me! ( compulsive planner that I am i am even trying to plan how not to ruin it lol)!

 

[moohammy]

I've thought about this myself. When I think about WDW in my mind, I get this warm, nostalgic fuzzy feelings. But that is definitly not reality. On every vacation,(regardless of where) things will go wrong...long lines, irritating guests, etc. But I think we should do our best to keep a positive attitude and when things don't go our way just tell your self "oh well." Disney does a great job at living up to its good reputation, so we should focus on those things that go right, as opposed to those that go wrong.

 

[Figaro]

Something I am sometimes struck by, is how many people see the "magic" as being something special that is somehow outside of themselves. That this hotel is "magical" or that restaurant is "magical" while some other hotel or restaurant is not magical. My experience has been that "magic" is something that I create myself. And that perception does to a certain extent, create our reality.

All of us have different preferences, whether in food, clothing, entertainment or lodging. And these preferences are right for us, but may not be right for anyone else. For example, my spouse and I don't care for the look/atmosphere of Wilderness Lodge. Doesn't mean that anyone is wrong for really liking the look/atmosphere, it just means that our preferences are different from theirs.

Internet communication is missing tone and body language. Which means that sometimes someone states something like: "I just hate this restaurant and think the food there was disgusting." Another person comes along who absolutely loves the food at that particular restaurant and "hears" the comment above as a criticism of their own preferences, not just as an opinion by the original poster. I find that with online communication, it is best to always assume (unless proven otherwise)(smile), that what people write is NOT a criticism of my choices, just a stating of their own preferences.

Part of what makes these boards so wonderful is that people freely share their experiences with everyone here. So that people can ready any number of posts about a particular restaurant, town car or hotel and gather information to try and figure out which one of these would probably be the best "fit" for them.

 

[PamOKW]

I think when something happens that is "off the plan" if you are able to roll with it and go to Plan B, you can add to your enjoyment. Stewing about minor things accomplishes very little.

As you say, the Internet may also increase people's expectations causing disappointment. There are so many tales of people getting special treatment, gifts, etc., etc., In my many trips, some celebrating life milestones, I haven't gotten anything special from Disney (outside of the dessert at a restaurant as I would at most local restaurants). Be delighted if you get a something but don't let yourself get upset if you don't.

The other problem the Internet has created is an expectation that Disney should compensate for any inconvenience and/or provide free upgrades. This is also something that doesn't happen regularly. Compensanting for problems is something Disney has to handle carefully. Disney is a target for all kinds of scam artists and I'm sure they have policiies in place to try and protect themselves. Some of the tales told on the boards almost sound like a set-up to force Disney to do something. Take everything with a grain of salt.

Most people have a wonderful time at Disney and, while it's better than being in the "real world" it's not perfect because members of the "real world" are there, too.

 

[girlsx2]

Well said. It has taken me many years and three children to realize that life (in any manner) is what you make of it. You can't control everything or everyone. If you want to have a magical time, you will. If you let every little thing rub you the wrong way, you will have a miserable time.


Cya There!!

 

[debster812]

I can't say how I feel any better than PamOKW. So I will just say ITA with her.

 

[jann1033]

good comments all..I think that sums it up also..after reading about the rare occasion when someone "got " something for nothing I do think many expect that to be the norm rather than the exception and then are dissapointed with the norm..it was nagging me but I couldn't put it into words. these boards have definitly helped save some money but I agreeyou have to take some things on them with a grain of salt. also about the magic...much as we might like it to be, "pixie dust" isn't really for sale, we have to make it ourselves.

thanks, I feel much better!

 

[DisneyMim]

Figaro and Pam, very well said!! I agree with their great posts. We have been going to WDW since the 1970's (hate to admit it, this just gives my age away!! LOL!) and I think people's expectations have increased a lot over the years. Yes the internet, while a wonderful thing, has it's downside. People read every little thing that posters have written and if one person gets an upgrade or a little extra thing, they expect it to. Let me tell you this has been going on since Disney opened, but before the internet most people were not aware of it. Also the cost of a Disney vacation is expensive. IMHO it is not out of line with most other nice vacations, but for some people it IS a huge expense and sometimes a once-in-a-lifetime event. They want every little thing to be perfect and when it isn't the vacation is ruined. IMHO the guests have become rudier over the years and they demand more. Years ago I rarely heard yelling at check-ins. Now almost every time we go someone is screaming and yelling that their room is not the room they wanted (never mind that thousands of other people want that room too!!). Yes the CMS have changed over the years but I think it has a lot to do with the guests. We often stay concierge and I am amazed at how people demand things there. One guy (and I've seen him now 2X on 2 seperate visits!) asks for a loaf of bread every morning. He then proceeds to take enough peanut butter (little tiny tubs) to make sandwiches, that I assume, they bring for lunch!! Amazing!! The CMS are very nice to him, but I have had talks with some of them on occasions when I have been alone in the lounge and they too feel that people expect much much more than in the past. Sorry this post is soooo long, but I believe that the magic is still there, you just have to open your eyes and heart and "go with the flow".

 

[MickeyisanNDfan]

When we go to Disney we never plan anything, make only 1 or 2 PSs, have never faxed a room request, have never requested a window table, have never waited in a spot for an hour for the parade or fireworks, and imgine this, have always had a great vacation filled with fun, fantastic views and good service. Yes, sometimes things happen but I have never felt the need for compensation, or upgrades or complaining. I agree with the others who say that sometimes the internet adds fuel to the fire. I am amazed at the planning some people do only to have it ruined by something minor. I hate to say it but sometimes I do chuckle. If you don't go looking for things to go wrong they probably won't.

 

[tjmw2727]

Yes, I think we all have our expectations raised somewhat when we read about something special that happens to someone else. We are happy for them but I think human nature, maybe even subconsious hopes this will happen to us or for some that we deserve it as well.

I see this on the families board lots with regard to birthdays. When you read that a birthday child got to open the MK, ride PP 2x, fill in the blank, naturally you hope that happens if your child has a birthday at wdw. Unfortunately these are the exceptions rather than the rule and can lead to dissapointment.

My oldest dd had a cake delivered to the room for her 5th bday at the Polynesian - great surprise. For my 2nd dd's trip we could only get ASM and they just do a card!. Luckily my 2nd dd didn't have any expections and since the card was from Minnie she was thrilled. I can imagine if I had told her to expect a cake or she remembered sisters birthday she may have been dissapointed.

I like to plan the events I want and let any additional magic happen. I try and be happy for others when I read about upgrades and special treatment but I just can't let myself feel entitled to the same or dissapointed if I don't get an extra. I guess that's why its called "extra special" LOL.

TJ

 

[Wendi]

With the internet, we have found it to be a double edge sword.
You get the good and the bad and so the planning begins. You can assume or hope that the good things will happen to you. We only hope but NEVER plan on any of these things happening to us. We have noticed more and more as well, that people can sometimes be so into "ME,ME,ME" that they forget their are other people out there.

Example: We were in line for pictures with Buzz and Woody at the Studio's 3 years ago. They cut the line off at us and said that they would return in a moment to finish the line. Well, the castmembers where moving the line's along and it all went really good. The lady in front of us with her family had their turn, well the castmember told my daughter to go on. So my daughter went........the lady proceeded to tell my daughter to move that it was still their turn. Please keep in mind that they had taken video, digital and regular pictures as well as talked for a good 2-3 minutes. The castmember again, told my daughter to go on up. Well then the lady backed up against my family trying to take even more pictures and told her kids, and I qoute "We payed to be in this park, we will take our time". I politely asked the lady if she would move asside so that I may get a picture of my daughter and she proceeded to lay into me about how much she spent to be here and she would take however long she wanted with the characters. The castmember told my daughter for the 3rd time to go on up. My husband and father then again very nicely asked them to allow us to take some pictures of our daughter.......my husband even commented "you can have them back as soon as we take a couple of pictures". The lady and her husband proceeded to cuss us out, well she moved for a moment while cursing us and we where able to take 3 pictures with 2 camera's. Well, in my eyes this was stupid and I wasn't going to stay around someone that stupid. We got my daughter and started to leave. Well, Buzz and Woody started to go in so the lady got even more rude. She told us that we RUINED her vacation. I turned around and asked her HOW? I nicely stated you spent more time with the characters than ANY child in line, you took more video and pictures and ANYONE. How could my family taking 3 pictures ruin your vacation. The castmember is the one who was moving the line along. You do realize the Characters can only stay in those suits for so long, don't you? Well, one cuss word after another till finally I told her to drop it. She wouldn't. Please keep in mind we where walking away the entire time, and she followed us. She then went to another castmember and told them something and they stopped us. I then asked for them to call the castmember over that was moving the line along. She did and the lady got more mad and kept YELLING. WE PAID GOOD MONEY TO BE HERE AND WE DESERVE TO SPEND TIME WITH THE CHARACTERS!!!!!!!! I looked right at her and said, "Lady, I spent the same money as you to be here. I am not stooping to your level of ignorance. Your the one cussing at my family." The castmember that was working the line confirmed to the other cm that she was up there for an extremely long time and was being rude and hogging the characters. We had walked off when the line castmember caught up with us and told us how sorry she was and not to worry that we where not in the wrong. I Thanked her and off we went. We DID NOT let it ruin anything it's actually a funny story to tell. It is just an example of how over the years and through information people assume. We all know what the key word is in assume.
Sorry this is so long, but I feel that people don't need to assume how much the other person is spending on their vacation. If someone gets the room you want, oh well; make the room you get just as special. The tree in front of the balcony could be a funny thing. I actually took a picture of the view with a big tree of the balcony, and to this day it's a great picture and funny. After all we consider it "Our" tree.

Grumpy people, Long lines or Busy Restaurants should never ruin a vacation. It gives you more time to talk to your kids or husband. Use the time to plan out what and where you are going next. USE IT FOR GOOD...........NOT EVIL!
I don't know if it is the same for you as it is for us, but the more hungry we are the better the food seems to be.
Just a thought.

Face it! We are lucky to be able to afford to go to Disney. The little "problems" are just bumps in the road. Just go on and for get it and if you come across it again....go around.

Happy Holiday's to All!

 

[pamlet]

I read these boards quite regularly and agree with the OP that folks set unreasonable expectations for themselves. I think the intensive planning contributes to those expectations.

"Magic" can be found anywhere on a vacation if you look for it, and make it yourselves. We've found incredible memories both on Disney vacations - and on non Disney vacations.

A few years back we went to Disneyland - our original motel lost our reservation, and they put us in an alternate for what was supposed to be one night. The motel they put us in was actually a very old motel on the edge of the Disneyland parking lot - a 60's motor court, where you parked outside your door. The manager who ran it said they had been slated to close months before, but the company still had not closed it. (It was right in the way of what I guess is the California Park). Anyway it was clean, but worn, the manager was wonderful! Everynight we sat out in folding chairs with the manager, the kids in the pool and watched the fireworks. We had a blast - it was restful and one of our best vacations. When the original motel called after our first night - I told them to forget it.. we stayed where we were - and even extended our stay for 2 nights. We were sad to leave knowing that our little retro motel would be torn down.

Another time at the Hoover Dam our youngest (then 6 or 7) went running up to a busload of Japanese teenagers yelling hello in Japanese - (we to this day have NO idea how he knew that...) any way we spent the next 45 minutes waiting as he had his picture taken with various groups of kids.. then finally the ENTIRE group with the bus in the background ... this little blond kid "making friends" with a bunch of Japanese teenagers.

The point it - magic is where you find it - it just happens - that's why it's magic.

I can see where folks would expect a LOT when they are paying incredible prices for rooms that anywhere else would cost 1/2 as much (or in some cases much less) - but I think that's the greatest challenge - NOT to expect the magic - just find it in the little things. Then those "little" things that ruin a vacation are superceded by the "little" pieces of magic.

 

[msteddom]

I think the key to the magic is all in how you remeber something. I was just talking to my firend about our recent WDW vacation, and all of the things that we though were annoying or went wrong we now look back on as funny. In fact some of the "disasters" are now some of our most treasured memories. I think the memories are made when things don't go according to plan. I can't wait to go back and make some more!!


Melissa

 

[HaleyB]

I agree. We are the magic, you and me and anyone who goes in with the right attitude. My family is very into the spirit of DW and we have never let a stupid, rude, or ignorant person ruin anything for us. We just move on when things happen. Our family gets a special kick out of doing good deeds in WDW. Anything from holding a fussy baby for the Mom in line in front of us, to giving directions, giving away one of our maps, anything to sprinkle a little fairy dust. It makes us feel good and helps us to remmeber that there was a time we couldn't figure out where New Orleans Square was in the MK...and what a funny look we got when we asked. LOL.
Our favorite WDW memory is of helping a lady who was in an electric wheel chair. One wheel had gotten stuck and she couldn't move. People were just walking right by her prentending not to notice her and her tiny assistant trying to budge a 300 pound chair. We got her unstuck in a couple of minutes, and she was so thankful. She called my 3 year old son Prince Charming and he was thrilled with that. In fack he loves Sleeping Beauty and used to sign the "Once upon a dream" song to his newborn sister all the time. It was such a small thing, but we still smile when we think of it.

 

[Wendi]

HaleyB,

So funny that you should say that. That is exactly like us. We do things like the giving directions (I guess we look like we know where we are going) to even giving our fast passes away if we are not going to use them. I have to agree, we make the Magic.
We look at it this way..........If I trusted someone else to give me their paycheck to survive on..............do you think I would get it?
NO! Magic happens when it happens. If it happens to happen to us.........great.............if not.............we still have our own MAGIC!

Happy Holidays!
Wendi

 

[pamlet]

That was probably a HUGE thing to her - and look at the wonderful lesson your son learned.

I bet he was darling with his little sister!

I think that's the key - it's those things that we are teaching our children - and the memories that are the magic!!

 

[threeboysmom]

Wendi - I LOVE your attitude!! The world needs more people like you!

That story you shared about the "lady" and the characters was UNBELIEVABLE!! I can't believe someone would actually act like that! I guess I've been pretty fortunate so far in that I haven't run into extremely rude people (yet), except the ones that cut in front of my children at parades (every trip!) and then refuse to move even when spoken to. But that's the worst I've come across. Doesn't even compare to what you went through.

I believe that if you look for the good in everything, you will find it. If you're looking for the negatives and a reason to complain, you will ALWAYS find what you are looking for

 

[Wendi]

threeboysmom,

Thank You! After writing it, I still couldn't believe it happened to me. If there were not 4 other witnesses I would think it was a dream or something. It's funny to look back at and laugh.
I just think that if they are that NIEVE to think that we didn't pay the same to be there.......they must be from another planet.
Oh well, still laughing thinking about it.

Only 37 days til I am home at the GF.

 

[Sammie]

Yes I do think many have unrealistic expectations. They think Disney means 24/7 magic and fantasy. They forget that the people who work there are actually "real". They have real problems that they bring to work with them.

They also forget that real crap happens. Busses are late, or overcrowded. Rooms are not always spotless. Not everyone gets a gift for their birthday. In the summer it gets really hot and crowded. Rides are closed for rehab. Construction goes on at resorts. Rooms are not all ready when we want them. All of this is reality that some do not want to accept.

I also think alot of people bring "baggage" to Disney with them and I don't mean the suitcase kind. I think alot of people save a long time for the one "perfect" trip and they can not deal with the reality of nothing is perfect.

I think also alot of people see a Disney vacation as a bandaid to their own personal ills. I have read many times about couples on the verge of divorce taking the kids to try and save the marriage. Believe me that money would have been better put to use at marriage counseling. Disney is no place to go if you are having martial problems.

I think the Internt feeds this illusion of everything is wonderful there. People read of the magical time someone had and expect it to be the same. What they do not realize that very same trip might not be so magical to someone else. That particualar person might be someone that made the magic themselves and is very good a writing about it.

 

[Figaro]

Wendi, like you, when I run into people (not literally I hope!)(smile), who get so angry, I usually think something like how awful it must be to have such small things upset you and to be so angry. Such a waste of time and energy.

My spouse and I still laugh about our first couple of trips to WDW when we thought that our kids were going to drive us crazy because they would NOT quit picking at each other. I heard the "MOM" whine enough times that I felt like just hiding(smile). What is so funny, is that now that our kids are adults they have NO memory of any of the fights. Their memories are of a wonderful, special vacation and they can't believe that they fought their way through the parks until their father and I were about ready to murder them(smile).

On our last trip to WDW a few weeks ago, I was waiting in a restroom at MGM for the handicap stall to open up. I had moved myself over to in front of the lowered sink to try and get the stupid wheelchair out of the way as best as I could when an adorable little girl (around 5-6 years old I think) came out of another stall and needed to wash her hands. I moved back to let her get to the sink and then got a handful of paper towel for her to use. She was very polite and thanked me and I told her that she was very welcome.

She then knocked on the door of the handicapped stall and said: "Mommy, you need to hurry up because someone in a wheelchair needs to get in."

This very crabby, unhappy sounding mom said: "Let her wait. I'm handicapped with this rotten kid."

I felt so bad for the little girl, as she was so embarassed and whispered to her not to worry that it was no problem for me to wait. When the mom came out (she had been changing her two year olds shoes) she was looking for some sort of an argument, but I don't fight with people (personal choice of mine). She crabbed at the little girl, scolded her for knocking on the handicapped stall door and announced that she was "sick to death of people in wheelchairs thinking everyone had to move for them."

I never bother to respond to this and just went in and used the stall. When I came out, believe it or not, the woman was out there with her two year old little boy and her older daughter and was STILL upset about her daughter knocking on the door of the handicapped stall. However, when she saw my spouse come over, I guess she decided not to say anything else(smile).

I don't have any problem waiting my turn, as I am lucky enough to have full bladder and bowel control (not everyone in wheelchairs does) and I would never expect anyone to hurry up or to feel like they shouldn't use the handicapped stall. Seems pretty silly to me to leave it just sit open in case someone in a wheelchair comes along(smile).

What was so sad about this entire incident is how badly she made her daughter feel.