April's journey

[AprilN]

Hi all.

This isn't going to be the most interesting journal.

I'm planning to use this thread just as a place to collect all of my posts on the check-in threads, and other things I have posted on the WISH board referring to my progress. It will hopefully become a place where I can look over my old entries for inspiration and reflection. However, it won't contain anything I haven't already posted to the WISH board - so if you're caught up there, this won't be anything new!

 

[AprilN]

Hi everyone! I've been lurking on the WISH boards for a week or so, but I finally decided it was time to get involved! I've been hanging out on the Cruise forums for over a year, and I started seeing the WISH clippies, but ignored them, because I wasn't ready to start this journey. Now I am!

I've been extremely overweight for as long as I can remember. I did Jenny Craig 8 years ago (during college), lost almost 80 lbs, but gained it back and 50 more to boot. I eventually seemed to stop caring over the past few months, as I grew into (and almost out of) size 28 clothes, but still ate fast food 4x a week and hardly ever exercised. At 27 years old, 296 lbs (5'3") isn't an immediate death sentence, but my quality of life has been steadily decreasing, into a world of seat belt extenders and catalogue shopping, not to mention non-existent self-esteem.

Finally, last week I had an epiphany. While poking around on www.getting2goal.com, something finally clicked inside my head, and I realized that I didn't have to hate myself in order to lose weight. In fact, I had to LOVE myself so much that I would want to become the healthiest person I can be. This might sound obvious, but it was a 180° change in my mind set, and I've been raring to go since then.

My plan is straightforward: if I live like a healthy, fit person, I will become that person. I'm planning to eat more veggies and fruits, drink more water (5+ bottles a day) control my portions sizes, and make healthier choices in restaurants and fast food joints. I'm not planning to count calories at this point, although I may modify this later. I'm walking 2 miles (~40 minutes) each morning Mon-Fri, working out at Curves 3x a week, and going for a bike ride or some kind of exercise with my DH each weekend.

I'm hesitant to set goals, especially time-sensitive ones, because I don't want to feel like a failure if I don't meet them. I guess my ultimate goal for now is to get to a size 16. I know this is where some people are starting their WISH challenge, but just being able to shop in a "normal" size store would be fabulous. However, making any kind of progress will be a success in my eyes.

So far, I've been doing great. I've walked 6 times, joined Curves and worked out twice, and went for a bike ride. My food choices have also been good, and I've successfully handled a dinner party, two restaurant meals, and a fast food lunch. I know I've only officially taken the WISH challenge today, but I had my first weigh-in this morning, and I'd really like to count it (what's one week among friends, right?): 2 lbs gone!

For the first time in my life, I really believe I can do it! Thanks for reading, everyone. See you around!

 

[AprilN]

Another 2 pounds gone this week! I was really hoping to grab my 5-pound clippie today, but I guess that will have to wait until next week. 2 pounds a week is just fine - that's over 100 pounds in a year. I just have to keep it up!

I'm already feeling stronger and more energetic, that's for sure. I've exercised for 15 days in a row - and 2x a day for 3 of those days! Wow, go me!

I'm making a couple of small adjustments to my eating: eating a little less cereal in the morning, having only one piece of bread on my sandwich at lunch. I've also discovered Skinny Cows - YUM!! I also did really well when DH and I went out to brunch on Sunday - chose fruit over country potatoes and dry toast over biscuits, AND I only ate half the toast. I did eat all the eggs, though. The BBQ party on Saturday was another story, but at least I didn't completely overeat, just failed to make a plan and stick to it. Oh well, gotta keep learning.

Big challenge coming up this weekend - a 4-day trip to Vancouver, BC. My basic plan is to exercise every day (treadmill, swimming, biking, plus walking around town), and while I'm not going to concern myself with calories too much, I want to avoid overeating past feeling full. I can do it!

Onwards and downwards, everyone!

 

[AprilN]

This is a bit of a late check-in, as I just got back from vacation last night, and didn't weigh myself until this morning. I really didn't want to post, but I might as well. I've gained a pound. Very demoralizing, even though I know I'm retaining water right now and will probably be back down next week. I so desperately wanted my first clippie today, but I guess it was not to be.

I was SOOOO good on vacation, too. I exercised every single day, either getting up early and walking for 45 minutes, or taking a 6 mile bike ride with DH. I'm now up to *23* days of exercise in a row, BTW. I also did tons of walking around town (Vancouver, BC), climbed a nasty hill on the way to breakfast one morning, and hiked up to the base of Whistler Glacier (after taking the gondola ride, of course). My eating was really good, too - I didn't overeat once, made some good choices (especially for breakfast), and even left food on my plate because I sensed that I was full already. And no fast food! I even dealt with a situation where emotional eating was a real possibility, but I didn't let my eating get out of control.

My big problem was with all that exercise, I totally failed to drink enough water, and I'm guessing that's probably the major cause of my weight gain. Even so, it's so difficult to work so hard over vacation to make all kinds of right choices (and still have a good time!), only to see a negative result in the end. I just have to believe that I AM living like a healthy person, and my body will eventually get with the program.

 

[AprilN]

Gimme that CLIPPIE! No, not that one, the 10-POUNDER!!! My body finally caught on to this whole eating less - moving more thing, and I lost 7 POUNDS this week! Turns out I was definitely retaining water last week, as TOM showed up unexpectedly (always irregular), but I've lost all that water and more. What an amazing boost to my motivation.

I had a very successful week, not giving up when the scale went up earlier in the week, and continuing my exercise (29 days and counting). My sister just joined WW (20 pounds to lose), so we've planned our own little Halloween goal, with the plan of doing something together when we make it. She was also really proud of me and my new lifestyle (it was a surprise).

Saturday is my first monthly measurement day at Curves, so I'll have some more numbers to report next week. I can't believe it has been almost a month. Then again, I'm ready to do this for life!

Thanks to everyone for your support. It means a lot to me!

 

[AprilN]

Now that I've been on my journey for over a month, I wanted to share the results of my first month at Curves.

Inches lost:
Bust -4.5
Waist -2.0
Abdomen -3.5
Hips -5.25
Thighs -7.0
Arms -5.5

Total inches lost: 27.75
Weight lost: 13.5 lbs
Body fat % change: -1.20%
Body fat pounds lost: 10.05 lbs

These results aren't due wholly to the Curves workout - I've been walking in the mornings as well, and definitely eating a whole lot better. But Curves is helping me keep the muscle as I lose fat, and I love the workout!

Anyway, I just wanted to share. Thanks for listening!

 

[AprilN]

Another 1 lb. gone forever for me. I can't say I wasn't hoping for a bit more, but after such a big loss last week, my body is probably still adjusting a bit. At least I'm still moving in the right direction!

I had a mostly successful week, handling a company picnic VERY well and not overeating at a couple of family dinners. Unfortunately, I also discovered that bread and butter is definitely one of those irresistable foods that I need to be careful around. I made some fresh wheat bread for the dinner party, and did OK during dinner, but when I became hungry for lunch the next day, I ate 1.5 pieces of bread with butter before I realized what I was doing! Argh! I also ate a bit too much at a couple of meals - not really overeating, but more than I probably should.

Things are going well, but I've still got plenty to work on. And now I've got a great motivator - DH and I finally booked our next Magic cruise for Sept. 25, 2004! Hooray! I am COMMITTED to being under 200 for that cruise - hopefully quite a bit under 200.

Have a great week, everyone!

 

[AprilN]

Another 3 pounds gone forever - yeah, baby! That brings me to 14 pounds gone total - that 15-pound clippie will be mine next week, woohoo! And exercise is still going strong - 43 days in a row.

I had a really good week. I could have done a little better when DH and I went out to dinner on Saturday - I may have overeaten just a bit. But I did eat all my vegetables, went easy on the bread, and chose roasted potatoes over mashed - so I did pretty well! I made great choices for two lunches out (the Lighten Up menu at Baja Fresh is pretty good!) and chose a yummy vegetable omelette for breakfast out on Sunday.

I still need to learn to listen to my stomach - last night, I really wanted more homemade chili, so I dished out another half-bowl, even though that was more that I had planned to have. My DH helped me stop and think about it, and I had one spoonful and put the rest back - and it turns out I was already full!

My biggest success was earlier in the week, though. I was really hungry around 4:30, because I hadn't eaten all my veggies from lunch (new kind of bell pepper, not so good). One of my officemates has a bunch of candy for everyone to share (even though she's on Nutrisystem!), and I decided to have 3 Hershey's kisses to tide me over. I unwrapped one of the kisses and was about to put it in my mouth when I stopped. It occured to me that I wasn't craving chocolate - I was just hungry! So I threw away the candy and had the rest of the veggies from lunch and some water, and made it until dinner.

Go me! Have a super-duper week, everyone!

 

[AprilN]

I'm happy to report another 2 pounds gone forever! That makes a total of 16 pounds gone, and that means... a new CLIPPIE! Hooray! I'm also more than halfway to my first 10% goal, and 9 pounds away from my goal of 25 pounds gone by Halloween. Next week, I'm going to leave the 280's behind for good - hello 270's!

Also, as of this morning, I've exercised 50 days in a row!! Oh yeah!

This week went quite well. I successfullly controlled my eating at two very tempting meals (asparagus risotto with bread, and crepes with jam!), and also ate reasonably at a lunch party with family (I brought the veggie platter!), and dinner at the new IKEA store nearby.

I could have done a little better having breakfast out at IHOP - too many pancakes. At least it was following a tough 9-mile bike ride with lots of uphill climbing. Next time, I'm going to remove one pancake from the stack as soon as it arrives, and only eat 2 - along with the yummy veggie omelette, of course!

Have a fantastic week, everyone!

 

[AprilN]

One more pound gone this week - yippee! Bye-bye 280's, hello 270's! Of course I would have preferred to keep up my 2-pounds-per-week rate, but I'm still happy to be moving in the right direction. I think it might be TOM (I felt "fat" all weekend, ugh), but we'll see....

I did OK this week, although some cravings seem to derail me a bit over the weekend - not enough vegetables at either lunch or dinner on Saturday (baby shower w/ potluck for co-worker, then leftovers from the shower), then a little too much at dinner on Sunday. I do feel like I'm learning about my eating patterns, figuring out what I did wrong at the shower and how to fix it - it is very important for me to STOP and THINK about what I'm about to eat. If I eat consciously, making an effort to fill more of my plate with vegetables and healthy protein, and then only small amounts of potatoes and bread, I feel full but not deprived. Buffets really are my biggest challenge - but I think I'm getting better at handling them!

Have a super week, everyone!

 

[AprilN]

<center> It's CLIPPIE TIME!! </center>

I'm excited to announce that I have another 4 POUNDS gone forever, for a grand total of 21 pounds! Oh yeah! I've also got a cool new clippie. Best of all, I'm only 4 pounds away from my Halloween goal, 9 pounds away from my first 10% goal, and 19 pounds away from my Christmas goal. And I've exercised for 64 days in a row. Woohoo!

This week went very well. I had a roller-coaster week at work, with lots of emotional highs and lows - but I didn't let it affect my eating. OK, I had an extra Skinny Cow after I got some really good news, as a celebration. DH and I went camping, and I ate reasonably balanced meals, and didn't overeat! I also totally defeated a major temptation to pig out on fast food when I was really stressed and upset (and starving) - but I settled for a roasted chicken sandwich from KFC and some baby carrots.

I also made great choices at Chevy's for dinner on Sunday. I managed to only eat a few chips, pushed the chip bowl out of reach, and then enjoyed my chicken tacos with grilled vegetables. It felt great to prove to myself that I could eat out, have yummy food but eat a reasonable amount of it, and still feel satisfied at the end of the meal. I really am ready to do this for the rest of my life!

One thing I need to work on: I began allowing myself to sneak little chocolate snacks from my neighbor's candy stash. It was only 25 calories at a time (5 m&ms or one Hershey kiss), but when I began doing it at least twice a day last week, it became a worrisome habit. I wasn't even really hungry for it, or I was about to eat my planned snack anyway, but just allowed myself to have the chocolate. I definitely didn't feel in control of my decisions at that point. My goal for this week is to allow NO candy snacking at work. One day down, 4 to go!

Have a fabulous week, everyone - I *know* YOU CAN DO IT!

 

[AprilN]

It's clippie time - AGAIN!

I'm not sure how I did it, especially after the 4 pounds gone last week, but I have 5 pounds gone this week! That gives me a new clippie for the 2nd week in a row - only 4 pounds away from that beautiful gold 30 lb clippie, and my first 10% goal! I can't wait...

I also made my Halloween goal over a week early - 25 pounds gone, plus one to spare! And I've kept up my exercise streak - up to 71 days in a row. I'm setting a new goal for Thanksgiving: lose another 10 pounds, and keep up my daily exercise. I can do it!

I had a great week - I didn't snack on candy at work at all! I also had a great lunch out at Chili's - did you know that they'll substitute steamed veggies for the fries with any sandwich/burger? And the veggies are actually tasty!

I'm absolutely ready to live this way for the rest of my life! Woo-hoo!

 

[AprilN]

One more pound gone this week! I always find myself wishing for more when I have a small loss, but after the last two weeks of big losses, I should be happy just to maintain! Anyway, things are still moving in the right direction. Only 3 more pounds to that beautiful gold 30 lb clippie - and my first 10% goal!

Emotional eating is still a challenge for me, but surprisingly, this week it was because of a positive event! I received some great news, and had the immediate urge to celebrate - with food, of course. I had to stop myself and think about the ramifications of that choice - by celebrating this one event by overeating, I was possibly setting myself up for a future failure, which could lead to negative emotional eating. Not exactly the cycle I wish to start. Since DH and I had eaten a smaller dinner than normal anyway, I was able to splurge by sharing our favorite ice cream sundae without feeling guilty - and I loved every bite!

I also need to work on listening to my stomach while I'm eating for signs of feeling full. This is especially important when I'm REALLY hungry, because I end up eating so fast, I'm full (and typically more than full) before I know it. Just because it's on my plate doesn't mean I have to eat it!

Have a great week, everyone!

 

[DoeWDW]

April, I've just read through your journal - how inspiring!! I'll be sure to keep up with your posts from now on!! I think posting them here is a great idea. I know looking back through my journal has helped me a lot!

Keep up the great work!!

 

[AprilN]

Even though it took a couple of tries on the scale this morning to get the number I wanted to see (feeling a little guilty about that but it will all work out in the long run), I managed to make another 3 pounds disappear this week... which makes 30 pounds total, so it's time for me to finally go GOLD! Check it out! I also made my first 10% goal, which feels great. I just wish I didn't feel so guilty over doing the "scale dance"...

I did great over Halloween - I planned to have 5 miniature pieces of candy (about 200 calories), and that's all I had! I'm also getting more practiced at making good choices at restaurants, and leaving food on my plate when I'm full. I still need to work on eating too fast (and thus too much) when I'm really hungry - managed to do it again last night. Gotta keep learning!

Have a fantastic week, everyone!

 

[AprilN]

I'm very happy to announce I have 3 pounds gone this week! I was SOOO worried that my "scale dance" last week was too effective, and I wouldn't be able to maintain that loss - instead I kept movin' on down! Only 2 pounds to a new clippie, and 3 pounds to make my Thanksgiving goal. Gobble gobble! Exercising is still going great - 92 days in a row. I hope to hit 100 days next Wednesday, but that doesn't mean I'm stopping! My 3-month measure day at Curves is coming up on Saturday - let's see those inches disappear.

I did really well with eating this week. DH was on a business trip for 4 days, and I didn't eat out once! I planned my meals and stuck to the plan, and it obviously worked. I've finally discovered how tasty broccoli can be! I'm also getting better all the time at resisting unnecessary breads and treats - only 1/2 a piece of bread when out to dinner on Saturday, and didn't even look at the cookies at a concert on Sunday.

Work is stressful right now (a big disappointment, job becoming a little less secure, plus a lot of changes), and using food as a consolation is a constant temptation. In fact, a batch of really bad job troubles back in February led me to at least a 10-pound weight gain earlier this year. I have resolved that I deserve better than to let my stupid job derail all the REAL CHANGES I have made in my life over the past three months, and I won't let all this stress affect my eating and exercise plans. I deserve to be the healthiest person I can be, and nothing can keep me from that goal!

I've also vowed to only weigh once a week, on Tuesday mornings. I was starting to take a peek at the scale during the week, hopping on the scale at Curves or at home. As expected, I started to get obsessed over the number, and would develop an expectation of what I should see on Tuesday mornings - and then be disappointed when I saw a smaller loss. No more! It was hard to resist the tempting scale at Curves last night, but I was strong, and it was worth it when I was pleasantly surprised with the 3-pound loss this morning.

It's been exactly 3 months since that switch flipped to "healthy" in my mind - and I'm not going to let anything flip it back!

 

[AprilN]

Two pounds gone this week - and time for a new clippie! Aww yeah! Only one more pound to my Thanksgiving goal, 11 pounds to my New Year goal, and 15 pounds to a PLATINUM clippie. But most exciting is that tomorrow will make 100 days of exercise in a row. I can't believe it!

This week went well for the most part. I made great choices at a birthday dinner for my mom - only had a small piece of cornbread, and didn't eat all my mashed potatoes or meat. Yummy leftovers! I also handled a trip to Fresh Choice (salad bar/buffet restaurant) very well, only having one piece of bread and no muffins - this is usually my downfall. I even had some broccoli on my salad! Will wonders never cease.

Dinner out on Sunday didn't go quite as well. I had a really small lunch, so I knew I could eat more at dinner - and immediately dove into the bread basket. Argh! I managed to surface after only 1.5 pieces, but the damage was done. I did well with my entree (again leaving some meat and potatoes, ate all the veggies!), but the pumpkin bread pudding was calling from the dessert menu. It was sooooo good - I ate my entire half (shared with DH). And then suddenly realized that I was overfull. At least we took a walk around the shopping center after dinner, but I was still disappointed.

The big problem with my choices at that meal was that I KNEW I wanted to have that dessert, even before the bread basket arrived at the table, but I went ahead and ate a bunch of bread anyway. Next time I will think about everything I'm planning to eat at the meal first - if I'm going to have dessert, I don't need bread! I can wait 5 minutes for the salad. Also, I should have realized that I was pretty full by the time dessert came, and only ate a small portion. Next time I'll move a smaller portion to another plate, and only eat that. I don't need to eat it all to enjoy it!

Have a fabulous week everyone! You're doing GREAT!

 

[AprilN]

Bye bye 260's, hello 250's!! Woo-hoo, 3 pounds gone this week - which means I've made my Thanksgiving goal, with 2 pounds to spare. Oh yeah! This is definitely great motivation for eating reasonably on Turkey Day. I'm bringing the broccoli and green beans... and a cranberry jam tart.

Exercising is still going strong, 106 days in a row - and I'm introducing more jogging into my morning workouts, so I'm burning more calories as well. Only 2 pounds to my next clippie (the big 4-0), 8 pounds to my New Years goal, and 12 pounds to that gorgeous platinum clippie. I might even grab that before the year is out, if I can stay strong over the next month!

Things are going great right now. I think my healthy choices are really becoming a habit! I went out to dinner with my dad last weekend, and even though we went to a different restaurant than I had planned for (Mexican, eek!), I resisted the fajitas (all those empty tortilla calories) and chose the chicken and shrimp plate - because it came with veggies! I didn't even eat all the cheese on the chicken (although I did eat all the meat), and I didn't eat too many chips. I also avoided a serious urge to emotionally eat on Sunday, when I was feeling upset - but I had a light yogurt and some water, and made it to dinner without going crazy.

I'm loving my new healthy lifestyle - and I'm becoming the healthy (and smaller!) person I deserve to be!

Have a wonderful holiday, one and all!

 

[DoeWDW]

April, how did you learn to like broccoli????? Veggies are my downfall. I know I need to eat them, but I just don't like very many.

You're doing great!! You've met your Thanksgiving goal and you are getting close to another clippie! Keep it up, April, day by day, step by step!

 

[AprilN]

Doin' the clippie dance!

I'm still not sure how I managed it, but I am estatic to announce that I have another 4 pounds gone this week - and a beautiful new clippie! Only 4 pounds to go to my New Years goal, and 8 pounds to that super-shiny platinum clippie. I can't wait! I kept up my exercise over the long weekend, and have now racked up 113 days in a row. Yee-haw!

My eating over the past week was OK, and I actually did well on Thanksgiving - ate a small lunch, and then ate a lot of veggies at dinner, along with all the good stuff. I did have a second helping of several things, which wasn't in my game plan for the day, but overall I felt good about it. Friday, OTOH, was much worse. I didn't know what was planned for dinner, so I had a bigger lunch - and then we ended up staying at my parents for another day, which meant all the leftovers for dinner! My brain went out the window, and I ate almost as much as the night before. Argh!

I was pretty upset with myself over that, but I got right back on the eating-healthy horse the next day, including eating a very reasonable dinner at Fresh Choice (lots of broccoli on my salad, only one slice of bread). Now I just have to stick with it over the next few weeks - which include a couple of potluck lunches at work, a brunch with my family, and then Christmas in Ohio with DH's family. Not to mention rehearsals, two concerts, and of course, shopping. Eeek!

Thanks for checking in, everyone! You can do it!