Anyone want to talk about Asperger's/Autism

[jenrose66]

I'm sorry if there is already a thread for this. I scrolled thru a few pages and didn't see anything.

I'm concerned about my son, Jack. He's 3 1/2 and during the last 3 months or so his behavior has gone way down hill. He has tons of tantrums and has become obesessive over the stupidist things...like he hates music on the radio, if I try to listen to music in the car he'll freak so loud that it's easier to just shut the radio off, you can't even distract him from it, he can't move forward with any type of conversation, he'll just keep saying, you need to shut the music off, you need to shut the music off...

Also he doesn't like the end credits to shows or cartoons. Even if he wants to watch two shows in a row...he'll shut the tv off, and then ask to have it turned back on...if a show starts to end he'll start having a huge meltdown because the tv hasn't been turned off.

I've always felt he was a bit "off". He didn't talk at all until he was 2 and a half, he does get speech therapy thru early intervention. He recently started with OT therapy too, he was on the cusp of qualifying, but because he has a lot of trouble holding a fork and he can't pull up his pants they felt he could benefit. No one has ever suggested he has a spectrum disorder so I took comfort in the fact that he's just taking his time developing....but lately I'm just not so sure.

I have an 11 month old son and it's night and day difference with how he interacts and plays compared with Jack. Jack did nothing but roll around cars as a baby, and toddler, and now preschooler. Cars are his absolute favorite thing in the world and he can tell you about engines, makes, models (dad is a mechanic though so he teaches him about that stuff). He has gotten into imaginative play but he just likes to pretend about stuff he's already seen on tv....he doesn't make anything up himself.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I'm sure this post is already way too long. I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience with this. What kind of therapy are you using and at what age did you get a diagnosis.

I should add that DH is not supportive of my concerns at all. He says that autism/asd doesn't exist (which is such an ignorant thing to say)...he says that they diagnose everyone with it these days and he doesn't want his son labeled....so I guess I'm in this by myself becaues he won't even discuss the issue with me.

 

[bookgirl]

I'd make an appointment and talk to your Dr. Also there is on the internet a checklist of items. It may just be a mom worrying but it helps to get an outside opinion.

However, I taught in an Autism classroom and your son has some charecteristics that I would question as well, so it's not just you.

Oh and on the disabilities board you'll find a ton of families who can give you thier feedback.

 

[QVCshopper]

Hugs to you! I had major concerns about my DD5 at that age (especially obsessions, tantrums, repeated sayings, little imaginative play, couldn't sit/pay attention/wait), so I ended up going through our state's early intervention program. They interviewed and tested her, and placed her in an EI preschool for 1/2 days, where she got social/emotional help, as well as speech and OT. She had very high fevers for 2 years until she was diagnosed with a rare disorder and had her tonsils removed, so I think her delay stemmed from that.

Flash forward to this year, and she is a different child. So wonderful and easy to deal with. One year in EI was a huge help. That said, she still needs help with OT and speech, but I'm hopeful she will be placed in a mainstream kindergarten next year. She's a Nov. baby, so we benefit from an extra year since we missed the school's cutoff date.

As for advice, try not to read too much until you know more. I had myself convinced of many things, just because I kept reading and reading. Also, don't be ashamed of getting help. I have always been treated kindly and fairly by EI. It's more other parents who make comments--do your best to ignore them and know in your heart you are doing what you think is right for your child.

 

[brymolmom]

Hi there!

I have a ds7 who has mild Asperger's. He started showing symptoms right around the same age as your ds. He has always been 'quirky' but right around then it started affecting our daily lives. I would ask him to clean up before we leave to go somewhere and 20 minutes later he is slowly and carefully walking each block in a certain pattern back to the container. So I would go in and pick up a bunch and throw them in (since by this time we had to go...) and he would freak, tantrum and ultimately take the bricks back out and do the same pattern with them before we could leave.

My ds, however, is different from yours in that he was not speech delayed. He was right on par with speech but advanced in letter recognition, etc. He has, basically, a photographic memory. He does the repeating of TV shows, repetition of songs and he also 'flaps'.

We had him tested around the age of 4 and 1/2 privately. The findings weren't 100% conclusive - he's borderline I would say. The doctor basically asked us if we NEEDED a diagnosis for school purposes - like if we think he'd need an assigned aide in school. He usually thrives in school due to the routine, so we said no. So he is officially undiagnosed. But we've learned a lot. It does not usually affect our daily lives anymore. We know now to give warnings - a LOT of warnings to let him know something is going to change. And it does help quite a bit.

He does great in school - academically and behaviorally. Socially...he struggles, but isn't totally stand-offish as many Asperger's kids might be. And, not sure if due to this or not - he is just about the most LITERAL child you will ever meet. He will tell his sister not to use the sidewalk chalk on the driveway because, obviously, it is SIDEWALK chalk.

I love him, quirks and all!

 

[Schmeck]

If you head over to the disABILITIES forum, there's a community forum there with lots of people with children diagnosed on the spectrum.

 

[clutter]

The two examples that you gave seem sensory in nature. Read through "the out of sync child." Since he's getting OT, talk to them about it. Often kids on the spectrum have sensory problems, but having sensory problems doesn't necessarily mean that the child's on the spectrum.

 

[MinnieVanMom]

Also suggesting the Disabilities forum. We are all over there and discuss issues the NT doesn't understand. Do follow up with a trained Child Psy with a strong background in autism/aspies. Don't let anyone tell you that he is fine if you feel there is something wrong.

You asked for what happen with others, we have a very colicy baby with allergies to milk, then pollen, bee stings. He did develop normally until about 18 months, other than allergies, then just as if a light switch was flicked, he stopped speaking. He watched a train go around a track for hours! He lined up strawberries, trucks, popcorn, he watched the same movie over and over and over. He lost his speech all together. Nothing for about a year and half. I wasted a year on ST and everyone said he didn't have to speak because we did it for him. That was not true at all, we had ear tubes put in, because everyone said it was his ears. No it was autism. After a year and half the ST told me that he could get a evaluation for a State waiver if I would apply for the waiver. We applied but never really believed that it would be autism, but 4 days before Christmas a letter came and it was classic, textbook autism.

What did we do: I cried a lot, went into denial, cried some more. Then got mad and started to do research. There are thousands of people wanting to offer a cure for your $$$. Beware. We finally researched several approaches and chose ABA. We got our son to speak for the first time in 2 years using ABA. He did it in 3 months! We use it for almost everything.

I hate autism and it sucks, but I love my son! He has autism, he is not autism.

Fell free to PM me if you would like.

 

[Aunt Flancy]

The best thing we ever did was found a fantastic developmental pediatrician. Depending on your health insurance and where you live, I would definitely check into that.

 

[RangerPooh]

If you have any concerns I would definately contact your pediatrician and look into early intervention services. I teach special education pre-k in an inclusive classroom, and have several children who are on the spectrum. Some of them are your child's age, and just started the pre-k program this year. So far we have seen improvements in their social skills as well as listening, communication, and following directions. However this can not be said for all of our little friends. We just remind ourselves that we're working with little people who are on a different page than we are, and that's ok. Even if your child is evaluated and is not on the spectrum they might be able to recommend some things that can be done to help your child.

 

[abcboys]

I don't really have any help for you but I can kind of understand where you are coming from. My middle son age 7 has always been kind of "quirky" or "weird" about stuff. He gets fixated on a certain subject and that's all he talks or does for several days. Right now he is fixated on Drury hotels and researches all the drury hotels on the internet (he knows all kinds of info about Drury hotels) and draws hotels and puts up sheets in his room and calls it a hotel (kind of weird for a 7 year old boy, to me?) A few years ago he was fixated on Disney world, they he researched Disney cruiseline He has the social skills of a flea...is a total momma's boy and will hardly even talk to his own dad (who tries and feels bad he is not connected with him) Is terrible at anything sportsy. Can barely ride a bicycle. But he is one of the smartest kids in his class.

I've read the symptoms for aspergers and my 7 year old fits a lot of those. I've never really had him checked out or anything...He does great in school and the teachers never have any problems out of him....but he is defintitely a strange little boy.

Good luck in whatever you find out.

 

[happymommy]

My DS has severe ADHD, and I can relate about your DH not wanting to believe anything could be wrong. We had my DS tested (and our insurance did NOT pay for this battery of tests, but I felt it was important) at about 5. It was recommended we start medication (stimulants) to try to help him slow down and focus (his schoolwork was being affected, as he couldn't concentrate for more than a few seconds, and was having tantrums so very easily all the time, got frustrated with himself, would do things like pick at things and break pencils and crayons, mostly out of frustration). DH did NOT want to try medicating him. We met with an excellent child/adolescent psychiatrist then to discuss medications. FINALLY, DH said, okay let's try the meds (small dose). It was night and day - my son was so happy he could listen to a lesson, do his work, and he just turned around completely. Now, we used to go to church, but he still needed meds to sit in a pew, so honestly, we just don't go right now, as I want to medicate him as little as possible.

I also have a niece who has ADD. Her parents refused to get her tested, even after being "kicked out" of two different schools. We told her our story, but they really didn't want to believe anything was "wrong". She suffered with so much difficulty in school and with friends until they finally did, got her tested and actually saw the same doctor we did. Now she does so well! They only hard thing is that she's super skinny, and the medicine does affect the appetite. We try to feed our son extra on the weekends!

It's not that our story ended there. We've had him tested again about 18 months ago, when he was entering middle school. So between co-pays and testing we've spent at least $5000, but you do what you have to. Also, we've played around with his meds, and have an appointment next week with the shrink at my son's request, as his meds wear off very soon now (he's growing). It's a constant battle to keep him on track, but not overmedicate.

I can understand when you see the difference - my DD is very different. She is self directed, calm, focused, and didn't have the tendency to throw tantrums. Of course, being a girl, when she does I just stand back!

A lot of my son's behavior is similar to Autism, but after all the testing, he just has ADHD. He also is extremely bright, so it helped that when he was young he could focus for only a few seconds, but still learn a concept.

I'd definitely talk to you pediatrician about getting a referral to a good psychologist's office that does extensive testing. It is lengthy and expensive, but if you can provide your son with all the support he needs now, he will thank you later! And you never know, it may be that he's just in a phase, and that the tantrums are just part of his maturing. Or he may have ADD or ADHD or Aspergers.

BTW, my son also fixated on things. One thing that helped him was that until he was about 11, he slept with a blanky. He needed that little security. Also, he had a hard time sleeping, was a terrible sleeper (I was so sleep deprived!). Then, when he got on medication, he started resting so much better at night! I had been "warned" by my well-meaning sister that when I medicated him, he wouldn't sleep at night. The opposite happened.

Sorry so long. Just wanted to share my story. It also helps to talk to other parents.

Also, Disneyworld has been the greatest vacation spot for him!

Hugs to you, and hope you have a wonderful Christmas (if you celebrate that) and a happy and healthy new year! Good luck - your husband may need some time to accept the testing thing. It is hard to think about our kids not being "normal", but it is what it is.

 

[Bethshaya]

I have a 16 yr old who has Asperger's. He was diagnosed at about 7 after years of going back and forth with the doctors.

The young years aren't easy. But be assured, it gets easier the more you learn about it and the more you understand how your child is viewing the world. My son is 16 now, on honor roll for the last several years and is a pleasure to be with. He is getting ready to go off to Culinary school to become a chef. He sounds very much like Brylomom's son.

He still struggles, but we know how he views things and minimize the stimuli he receives. He has also learned coping skills through the years from occupational therapy that help very much. He ended up knowing himself better then "normal" kids in his high school and can structure himself to get tasks done.

After several years of medication, it wasn't until we took him OFF of all of it that he began the journey of learning those skills. His problems were not behavioral, they were neurological and once we got that perspecitive, things came so much easier. We stopped viewing his bahavior as "bad", but as ways for him to communicate.

For starters, you need to understand the overwhelming sensitivity your son is having to outside stimuli.

We all have five senses and those senses work together to give all of us our view of the world. In a normal person, those senses are intetrated, meaning what we see, smell, hear, touch and taste all send the same signals and we are able to sort them out and hone in on the ones we need to process our situation.

Your son is different. He is taking in all those sights, sounds, smells, textures and tastes and they are all giving him mixed messages. In school, he can see the spinning fan on the ceiling, and hear the buzzing of the lights, he can hear the chairs in the other classrooms rubbing against the floor as someone pushes their chair back, he hears the teacher and the whispers of kids talking, he can smell lunch being made in the lunchroom and the teachers perfume and he can feel the tag in the back of his shirt rubbing against his neck.....etc

All these things are coming into him at once and he can't sort them out.

Imagine living life in a rock concert all of your life, or trying to view a TV show on a staticy old black and white TV with rabbit ear anteanneas. Never getting a clear picture, and all you see is fuzz.


Your best bet is creating a relationship with the therapists. You are a team. You know your son best, so don't be afraid to speak up when something isnt working or they suggest something you are uncomfortable with. Also, the skills they are working on in OT don't stop after the session, you need to work on them at home too. That means you also need to be involved in what she is learning.

The first and foremost is getting your DH on board. Without help from the entire family, your son will be at a great disadvantage. Labels are never nice, and I suspect it is his own "label" in his head thinking he was somehow at fault or a failure at work. But worse than a label is ignoring it and dooming your child to struggle for the rest of his life with something that he can learn the skills to cope with. That is unfair to not acknowledge that he needs help just to preserve your "reputation" as if it was somehow DH's fault. The failure isn't in the diagnoses, the failure is in failing to act on it.

If your children are fixated on things, use that to your advantage to get ideas across to them.

Look for clues as to their condition. The tantrums are not to annoy you. They are their ways of communicating what they don't understand is happening to them. If they have a tantrum, it is because you missed the prior clues that they were being overwhelmed. They may rock, hit themselves, wave their hands or other behaviors in an attempt to soothe themselves, look for them and if they happen, remove them from the situation for a little break. It could be a walk to see the flowers outside, or a bathroom break, or a direction to quiet area for a book. Ask your OT therapist for items that may help. We used a body sock when he was young or wrapped him up in a sleeping back tightly. It soothed him. He still sleeps on TOP of his bed in a sleeping bag instead of under the covers today.

Learn all you can about his condition. Ask questions and come prepared at meetings or doctor visits. During your childs IEP meeting at school, where they plan his objectives, go and participate. Don't let them dictate, share what you know, what will work and what wont. They have him for a few years, but you have studied him all his life. You are the academic expert on all things pertaining to your son. They are book smart, but you are "son" smart.

Give a yell in PM's or on here. I am always open to share what we have learned through the years dealing with autism in our home. It is a new adventure. You need to view it that way. You may be seeing your friends chatting and sharing about their children and wish you had what they have, but you have something better....a chance to know your child inside and out. It is a journey that is long, and hard, but very well worth it!

 

[jodifla]

I'm sorry if there is already a thread for this. I scrolled thru a few pages and didn't see anything.

I'm concerned about my son, Jack. He's 3 1/2 and during the last 3 months or so his behavior has gone way down hill. He has tons of tantrums and has become obesessive over the stupidist things...like he hates music on the radio, if I try to listen to music in the car he'll freak so loud that it's easier to just shut the radio off, you can't even distract him from it, he can't move forward with any type of conversation, he'll just keep saying, you need to shut the music off, you need to shut the music off...

Also he doesn't like the end credits to shows or cartoons. Even if he wants to watch two shows in a row...he'll shut the tv off, and then ask to have it turned back on...if a show starts to end he'll start having a huge meltdown because the tv hasn't been turned off.

I've always felt he was a bit "off". He didn't talk at all until he was 2 and a half, he does get speech therapy thru early intervention. He recently started with OT therapy too, he was on the cusp of qualifying, but because he has a lot of trouble holding a fork and he can't pull up his pants they felt he could benefit. No one has ever suggested he has a spectrum disorder so I took comfort in the fact that he's just taking his time developing....but lately I'm just not so sure.

I have an 11 month old son and it's night and day difference with how he interacts and plays compared with Jack. Jack did nothing but roll around cars as a baby, and toddler, and now preschooler. Cars are his absolute favorite thing in the world and he can tell you about engines, makes, models (dad is a mechanic though so he teaches him about that stuff). He has gotten into imaginative play but he just likes to pretend about stuff he's already seen on tv....he doesn't make anything up himself.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I'm sure this post is already way too long. I'm just wondering if anyone has any experience with this. What kind of therapy are you using and at what age did you get a diagnosis.

I should add that DH is not supportive of my concerns at all. He says that autism/asd doesn't exist (which is such an ignorant thing to say)...he says that they diagnose everyone with it these days and he doesn't want his son labeled....so I guess I'm in this by myself becaues he won't even discuss the issue with me.

A really good book to start with is The Child With Special Needs by Stanley Greenspan. It's at most libraries.

And there are several conditions that can look like autism, but are actually different DXes that need specific treatment. So if you get your son evaluated, make sure that ALL the DXes are on the table, not just autism. There's a rush to autism DXes these days, particularly by the schools. Sensory Processing Disorders and Central Auditory Processing Disorder can bring on the sensitivities to sound that you mentioned.

Also, know that you can get services for your son with a general label like early childhood developmental delay. That way, you aren't labeling him too quickly....because once that label like autism goes on, it's hard to get off.

 

[kehlyrsmom]

I am the mother of two on the spectrum, my oldest is diagnosed with Aspbergers/ADHD age 10 and my youngest has been disagnosed with Moderate Autism/Apraixia of speach. Both also have sensory issues, but the sensory issues are totally opposite of what affects each child.

I would much rather have the label put with my child as it is just that a label. But with that label for one you know what you are dealing with and can understand their world that much better. Two it will help you get the appropriate services that they need to help them get through the school day. Without the label at least in my district my children would not receive the additional services at school.

We were told my son the youngest would never talk and to basically go put him in a home we had stgarted him speach services and feeding threapy at 15 months and at age (his sister had a speach delay so we were on top of this and seeked treament for him as soon as we could at the age of three he was diagnosed moderate autism apraxia of speach. He initially received about 30 hours of OT, Speach, Play Thearpy and Feeding Thearpy a week, by age 4 he was starting to talk. He is now in a regular classroom and has an aide, receives OT, Speach and sees a counselor at school he also rides on a smaller bus to school not the one with all of the other kids.

At least talk more to your Dr. and ask about having him tested, just remember it is just a label, just like having High Cholestrol, or Diabetes but the label will help him if he should require any speacial accomadations at school

 

[mdsouth]

Great advice here already. I would definitely follow-up with having him thoroughly checked out. As for your DH not wanting to have him labeled, my DH was the same way for several years. However, the label does not set apart your kid, his actions and behaviors do. So, the label just helps you get the right assistance for your child.

My DH finally came around after several years - I read information from the books mentioned here and others and we worked closely with our son's teachers at school. He was not officially diagnosed until this past summer with Asperger's Syndrome at the age of 13. Like the quote below, he had lost of quirky mannerisms, reactions to things and poor social skills but did great in school. He is not on any medication and doing well in school.

One of the reasons we decided to have a developmental pediatrian check him out was because of his developing need for extended time on standardized tests, he tends to take longer to either process the questions or compose his answers than other kids and so his his standardized test scores were not matching his academic skills in the classroom. Personally, we do not care about his scores on standardized tests but unfortunately those scores are what colleges look at closely when they admit students, so we decided to have him evaluated.

As we highly expected, he has Asperger's Syndrome and now that we have the formal diagnosis he will be allowed to have extended time to take tests (particulary standardized ones). This was done through a 504 plan instead of a more formal IEP.

Do check out the Disabilities board and post often - we can relate to what you are going thorough and offer our support. So many of us have first hand experience with the same issues that you are dealing with and are here to help.


PS - my son loves to look at hotel directories and those travel guides with the hotel coupons in them. He rereads the same ones over and over and can probably tell you where all the locations are and what ammendities the hotels have. The directories relate to his main focus area - geography. He pours over atlases all the time and is a human GPA. He can tell anyone the routes they would have to take to the most obscure locations in the US. Our neighbor likes to quiz him and show off his talent to others.

His teachers have him sit by the bus driver on field trips so he can help them. He has had to help out several bus drivers in the past.

His favorite TV channel is the weatherchannel. He is really fasinated with the weather and the maps. He knows the weatherchannel's schedule and can tell you when the next tropical update is - he gives us constant updates on weather patterns, tropical updates (possible hurricanes, tropical storms) and we live no where near an ocean - we live in the Midwest!

You just got to embrace their quirks!

I don't really have any help for you but I can kind of understand where you are coming from. My middle son age 7 has always been kind of "quirky" or "weird" about stuff. He gets fixated on a certain subject and that's all he talks or does for several days. Right now he is fixated on Drury hotels and researches all the drury hotels on the internet (he knows all kinds of info about Drury hotels) and draws hotels and puts up sheets in his room and calls it a hotel (kind of weird for a 7 year old boy, to me?) A few years ago he was fixated on Disney world, they he researched Disney cruiseline He has the social skills of a flea...is a total momma's boy and will hardly even talk to his own dad (who tries and feels bad he is not connected with him) Is terrible at anything sportsy. Can barely ride a bicycle. But he is one of the smartest kids in his class.

I've read the symptoms for aspergers and my 7 year old fits a lot of those. I've never really had him checked out or anything...He does great in school and the teachers never have any problems out of him....but he is defintitely a strange little boy.

Good luck in whatever you find out.

 

[persimmondeb]

I'm going to agree with your DH that autism is overdiagnosed, but that certainly doesn't mean it doesn't exist, and doesn't mean that your child doesn't have needs that should be addressed.

I have a 14 year-old-DS with an Asperger's diagnosis, although there are things about him that are not quite textbook. He is a cheerful, sunny soul, very intellectually high functioning, fond of maps, history, most scientific subjects, coins, and any number of classically geeky enthusiasms. He has a markedly young personality (more like 9 or 10), some speech difficulty, and obvious coordination issues. He attends a special ed school, but is doing ninth grade level work, and doing very well.

We went around with Drs. and the school system for years, and have seen no fewer than 3 pediatric neurologists, with much debate over what, if anything, was wrong with him. We got a number of diagnoses, mostly reasonably complementary with each other, if vague, and a long, long list of things that we officially not wrong with him. Along the way, we discovered that it matters a lot less what something is called and more if it is working for you or not.

Mt son is lovely company, very competent in his own way, and we cannot imagine what he would be like if he were "normal". My advice would be to talk to your pediatrician and take it from there. I wouldn't necessarily rush to try to get a diagnosis unless there's a big advantage to it in dealing with the school, but there may be more interventions available that would be to his benefit.

 

[brymolmom]

PS - my son loves to look at hotel directories and those travel guides with the hotel coupons in them. He rereads the same ones over and over and can probably tell you where all the locations are and what ammendities the hotels have. The directories relate to his main focus area - geography. He pours over atlases all the time and is a human GPA. He can tell anyone the routes they would have to take to the most obscure locations in the US. Our neighbor likes to quiz him and show off his talent to others.

OMG - this is so funny how similar to my ds. He loves to look at the school yearbooks - over and over and over. I am guessing that he can name more kids in that school (first and last) than the principal!! He just today in the car listed for me all of the kids with the last name 'SMITH' in his school. I am a bit paranoid that he's going to start going up to random kids in the hallway and say 'you are Tom SMith, you had Mrs. X for Kindergarten and Mr. Y for first grade and now you're in Mrs. Z's class'. They will likely think he is a stalker!

Good info on the standardized test assistance and needing more time. We haven't gotten to standardized testing yet - he's in 2nd grade currently. But it is a good heads-up to be aware that this MIGHT be a possibility when we get there!

 

[lucigo]

Wouldn't it just be wonderful if we could say "autism doesn't exist" and it would disappear forever?!
If only...

But I do have a bit of advice for you. Go to youtube and research autism, speech therapy, etc. When I first started our journey it helped to see what other kids with autism "looked like" and "sounded like" if that makes sense.

Good luck!

 

[Microcell]

Your Dh is right, it is overdiagnosed. What has happened is that kids were diagnosed with ADHD, which is widely varying sets of criteria, and then it was decided that there would be this Spectrum where they would try to more clearly define where a child falls in this disorder under the umbrella of Autism. So it really in many cases is a name change. So all these kids that are called "Autistic" now would have been called ADHD 15 years ago.

I my major in college was "Residential treatment programs for adults with Developmental Disabilities" which required a practicum, and since I did that for a living at the time I chose "Early Childhood Intervention for children with Autism"

That is the key, early intervention.. go to a doctor first and see if that is, infact the diagnosis.

Being sensitive to it, I watched like a hawk for DS and he had some OCD, but never to the extent that it interfered with his daily living. It sounds like your DS's daily living is being compromised, so it is worth checking it out.

Keep in mind that if you look long enough that there will be a doctor that will say he has something on the Autism Spectrum Disorder, so it can be a slippery slope, just be careful.

I have a friend who's son is officially diagnosed with Asberger's and they treat it, but remember to treat the disorder and not the child, if your DH doesn't want a label, then be sure to work your hardest to be sure your DS doesn't feel like he is "Autistic", that he is a regular boy who needs some help learning.

Look into Systematic De-sensitization and work with a professional. There are coping strategies even if he is being a regular three year old who hates transition. He might also benefit from redirection, once you see the show is about to end get him in a more positive routine of and going to wash his hands, or grab a snack.. not the same thing twice though.. or you will have an OCD of washing hands or something.

Good luck!

 

[Kriii]

OP, some of the signs you describe are red flags and I'd definately get him checked out. If nothing else, you'd have the peace of mind knowing everything is ok. If there is a problem, early intervention is key for helping your child develop. You have a good start working with the therapists and I truly wish you and your family the best.