Anyone here raising grandchildren?

[Vijoge]

I have two girls, ages 6 and 8. I love them to death, but I work full time, I'm 55, and I'm tired! I just wondered if there was anyone else in the same boat.

 

[Tiggeroo]

no but hugs to you for doing a great kindness

 

[Michie]

Nope. But my MIL, bless her heart, is raising my 17 old niece who just had a baby.

 

[Sandy V.]

Not in the same situation, but I just wanted to let you know that I think you're doing a very unselfish thing. Those little girls are lucky to have you.

 

[Poohlovr]

I am--I have custody of my grandsons, ages 10 and 13. They've lived with me for most of their lives, but it was only about 3 yrs ago that I finally got legal custody.
Like you, I love them to death and would do anything for them, but, at times it gets tiring--esp when they start fighting (the 13 yr old just loves to pick on the 10 yr old). Then I want to string one or both of them up!
I, too, work full time. In addition, I was back in college until December (Finally finished! YAY!).

Yes, it is difficult at times, but it's something we have to do, isn't it?

 

[anut4disney]

Yes, we are raising 6 year old twins. They have been with us since the day they were born (I was the first to hold them). I am 53 and work full time and yes I am so tired sometimes I just want to crawl in the bed and sleep for 24 hours.

Their father is not in the picture at all. Mom (dd) had a rough time of it, she was 18. She did real good with them at first and then she started dating this guy who at first acted like he loved them. After a while he started mentally abusing her and saying how no one would ever want her except him because she has 2 kids and they are half black. He kept telling her this over and over just really messed her up. She left with him for about six months and she did sign over physical custody of them (smart girl). Well after six months she came back and 4 years later she graduated from college.

She is trying to get the bonding back that she missed while she was away. Everyone lives with us and we work together because she works all the time trying to save money so that one day she can get the kids and have a place of her home. One thing is she is dating the nicest boy and he loves the kids and they love him and yes he is white and doesn't care. I kept trying to tell her that if the guy loves you color makes no difference.

Now after all that rambling, I love the idea of her having the kids and part of my heart wants that really bad. There is a part of me that just know I will be devistated the day that they go live with her. I know that they are hers but in some ways they feel like mine.

The one thing that I do resent a little is that I can't be the grandmother. I want to be able to spoil like grandparents do and then send them home with the parents.

I did tell that if they are still with us when they are old enough to date, that I am sending them to her, I ain't going through that again.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

No, I'm not, but I wanted to thank you for what you are doing! I can't even imagine how hard it must be at times, but how wonderful that the kids have you in their lives.

 

[golfgal]

Ds13's best friend lives with his grandparents on the weekdays and his mom on the weekends (although he usually ends up going back to Grandma and Grandpas early). His mom is just different and in the times I have been around her seems to favor her DD, who lives with her full time, over her DS. It is pretty obvious and I am sure that is a big part of why he doesn't like going there. DS doesn't like going to the mom's house to play with his friend either. His grandparents are wonderful people and he is lucky to have them.

 

[YachtClubWoman]

My husband and I took my sister's children in Nov. They are 6 and 8. She is incarcerated and their father (sister's ex) is in the miliatary in Korea. He comes home the end of this week for good. My (ex) brother in law had the smarts to give me power of attorney for the children in case this happened. My sister signed over custody to her ex-husband months ago. My family just found out.

I love the children in our house but it is truly exhausting. I have a full time career as does my husband. It has been such a transition - my husband and I went through IVF and I never got pregnant. Now I know this is why.

The children will stay with us until their Dad has his job set and finds an apartment. As much as I am ready to have my life back - I can't imagine how it will be when they are not in our house everyday. It breaks my heart thinking about it.

And I do miss spoiling them and having to be the discipliniarian. But they are doing wonderfully in school and to me that is so important . At least they will be local once they live with their dad - it will make the transition a little easier.

 

[anewvance]

My grandparents raised me and my twin sister from when we were 2. My mom and dad had us really young and their marriage fell apart. My mom was a wild child until she settled down and had my little sister 15 years ago. My little sister's dad and my mom's marriage didn't last more then 3 years but my mom has been in my life since then at least. I guess I consider her more of a friend then my mom, she is still kind of a wild woman, she drinks a little more then she should and likes to party. My grandparents have given my sister and I more then we could have ever imagined, so many opportunities and such. My grandma was so involved in everything I did, she was like the queen at my small elementary school, volunteered for everything! I feel blessed every day to have had them raised my twin sister and I. They are just as involved in my kids lives now and I am so greatful...

There is a girl in my dd's class who is being raised by her grandparents and they are soooo involved at the school and it makes me smile thinking about how lucky she is.