Anyone have twins?

[Pea-n-Me]

could use some pointers

Just re-read your op and wanted to comment on this. First, always try to stay calm and project the notion that you've got this under control (even if you don't feel that way inside!). They will pick up on anything less and use it to their advantage.

They also won't listen to the word no

Try not to "overuse" the word (as a pp said): don't say it unless you can see it through. When you say it, make it count, and if you do say it be prepared to back it up. When you say no, reinforce an acceptable alternative(s). Speaking of which, when you give choices, they should only include ones that are acceptable to you.

Time Outs shouldn't be given at a time when you're distracted doing something else and they tag team to find it "fun" and carry on their shenanigans, lol. You need to pay attention to what's going on (without feeding into it) and they (or he or she if only one) should be separated and made to stay in place which is fairly unpleasant to them and often breaks the cycle of whatever caused the problem.

We took our kids out with us everywhere and insisted on good behavior. We weren't sure it could be done before we had kids, but we were motivated one day when we saw a family of 6 at breakfast who were enjoying a nice, quiet meal together sans chaos. That worked out well because they learned how to behave in various places and were generally welcomed so even at an early age they we enjoyed having them with us. It is interesting now seeing DD13 babysitting herself and insisting on good behavior (and feeling stressed out when there's not - welcome to our world ).

 

[UKdisneytwinmummy]

Hi Our Twin girls are now 8. I found 18 months to 3isn so hard as they were just into everything but after that it got so much easier and the readymade playmate is brilliant, they are such good friends.

One time when they were about 15 months we vidioed their nap time and it was so funny to watch. They were throwing soft toys between the cots and then yelling for their toys back. One ended up climbing into the others cot (and they had baby sleeping bags on) and then threw all the toys back into her own cot and climbed back once her sister was asleep.

It's hard work but cherish it as it does pass so quickly. We feel very blessed to have twins.

 

[quandrea]

This. All of it.

Only my oldest was 8 1/2 years older, not 2.

They'll be turning 18 in a couple of months and leaving for college in a year. So sad. So very sad. I "wished" away their infancy and toddler years because it was so hard, and now I wish I had them back.

Designate a room they can tear up. Get lots of tubs for quick pick-ups. Don't sweat the little stuff. If you can't keep them out of the Christmas tree, buy a small one to put on a table this year. Have one lower cabinet in the kitchen that they're "allowed" access to. A cabinet full of tupperware kept mine happy while I cooked, plus let them think they were being naughty, which they thoroughly enjoyed.

I have a picture of them when I caught them "cleaning out" the dishwasher. One is sitting on the lid, handing the one on the floor the goods. Makes me giggle every time I see it.

Most of all, try to enjoy them.

It does get easier. Hang in there!

Great advice. We have gotten a tabletop tree for Christmas this year. I also have a lover drawer in the kitchen for them; they still get into other things but it heads them off for a bit. What I did find useful was to box everything up that was under the sink. Now if they go under there, I just scoop up the box and they can play all they want. Actually since the soap, etc has been boxed they have lost all interest in that cupboard. I also finds that when things get really crazy here, going out is a good bet. They like the stimulation of the grocery store, coffee shop etc. just bought first pair of shoes yesterday. So cute. We're also getting ready for Christmas around here; yesterday they ate their first mincemeat tarts (a sweet in Canada and the UK) and they loved them.
Toughest time of day is from five to 7:30. Dressing them both after bath is a challenge. Last night I asked dh to take my ds as soon as he was dressed so I could dress dd in peace. I think that will help. We'll see tonight.

 

[marcyinPA]

(My twins turned 2 about 2 weeks ago)

1) Containment, containment, containment. Our house is baby-proofed to an Alcatraz level. They have more freedom now, but at 14 months they were our gated off living room, the totally escape proof playroom or contained in a high chair/crib etc. This saved my sanity because I could get stuff done, but it also allowed me to focus on just a few rules at once. In the living room, for example, the only 3 rules were no standing on the couch, no banging the windows and no touching the tv. Once we got those down, we expanded their world a little bit. Get a maze of gates off craigslist, and put them in lockdown.

2) "No" does not work, redirecting works. So, instead of saying "No banging on the windows," I say "Windows are not for banging, let's bang on the floor (or the couch, the drum) instead!" Giving them something to do as opposed to what not to do really works well.

3) At this age, it's really important to remember they do not do things out of spite or mischief. They're simply trying to learn all the rules, so they act like little scientists. "I can't bang on the windows if mom's here, but what if she's on the phone? What if the tv is on? What if it's dad?" They are too little to be "bad" they're just curious.

4) Leaving ALL emotion out of discipline will do wonders. Remain as neutral as possible, so they get no reaction for you. They still are to young to get that mom is angry and angry=bad, they just know that they're causing some type of reaction.

5) I will play them off each other, just a little. If one is running around like a wildman, I'll ask the other if he would like to come and read a story. Usually crazy kid stops whatever he's doing to come and read too.

I also LOVE LOVE the Love and Logic book (I think it's the "early childhood" one. It was very helpful in learning some tools that I started around 15-16 months, and work really well now!

This is SUPER advice. I don't have twins, but I teach 12 two year olds four days a week, and we have two sets of twins in one class! This advice works for all children at this age, whether singletons or multiples!