Anyone have twins?

[quandrea]

Just wondering how those of you with twins are managing. I have fourteen month old twins (boy, girl). I find this is the toughest time since they were born. So busy I can't even breathe. They are extremely active and if I turn my back disaster strikes. They are good babies, just busy. Transitioning to one nap per day which I think is a bigger adjustment for me than them. They also won't listen to the word no. In to everything. How does everybody do it? For the record, I love being the mom to twins, just could use some pointers.

 

[golfgal]

We had a toy room and the twins spent a good chunk of time there. They ARE busy. They could dump out every toy in that room in no time flat. I have a picture of them sitting in a cabinet that we had in that room to hold books with the books all over the floor. We found that large rubbermaid totes were our best friends because we could just pick everything up and dump it in there-quick clean up. Our twins are 15 now, it DOES get easier.

 

[HelenePA]

well I dont have twins but have btdt four times... dont use the word no over annd over it starts too lose its meaning when everything is "no" try to redirect. Use "no" when yoou really really mean it. Like when they are running away from you in a crowded place or in front of a car. That is my tip.. take it for what its worth! Good Luck! The next few years are going to be very busy ones for you and them!

 

[bekkiz]

(My twins turned 2 about 2 weeks ago)

1) Containment, containment, containment. Our house is baby-proofed to an Alcatraz level. They have more freedom now, but at 14 months they were our gated off living room, the totally escape proof playroom or contained in a high chair/crib etc. This saved my sanity because I could get stuff done, but it also allowed me to focus on just a few rules at once. In the living room, for example, the only 3 rules were no standing on the couch, no banging the windows and no touching the tv. Once we got those down, we expanded their world a little bit. Get a maze of gates off craigslist, and put them in lockdown.

2) "No" does not work, redirecting works. So, instead of saying "No banging on the windows," I say "Windows are not for banging, let's bang on the floor (or the couch, the drum) instead!" Giving them something to do as opposed to what not to do really works well.

3) At this age, it's really important to remember they do not do things out of spite or mischief. They're simply trying to learn all the rules, so they act like little scientists. "I can't bang on the windows if mom's here, but what if she's on the phone? What if the tv is on? What if it's dad?" They are too little to be "bad" they're just curious.

4) Leaving ALL emotion out of discipline will do wonders. Remain as neutral as possible, so they get no reaction for you. They still are to young to get that mom is angry and angry=bad, they just know that they're causing some type of reaction.

5) I will play them off each other, just a little. If one is running around like a wildman, I'll ask the other if he would like to come and read a story. Usually crazy kid stops whatever he's doing to come and read too.

I also LOVE LOVE the Love and Logic book (I think it's the "early childhood" one. It was very helpful in learning some tools that I started around 15-16 months, and work really well now!

 

[Sonya]

Just wanted to say good luck. Mine are 3 and just have gotten into the stage where I can give them more freedom.

 

[lemondog]

I feel your pain. My twins are now 6, and life is SOOOOO much easier! I have blocked out the first 18 months entirely...up to age 3 is sketchy. LOL! It was REALLY hard, I will not lie. My oldest was 2 when the twins were born which only added to the workload.

All I can say is...this too shall pass. I really regret I was not able to enjoy more of their infancy/toddlerhood. It was just so hard and I was always waiting for the next stage of "independence." Life seemed to get a little easier when they turned 3, and now they are in first grade and I miss them all day! They grow up SOO fast!

 

[mjkacmom]

I had my twins last, so I can honestly tell you that having twins under the age of 3 is way harder than having a singleton. However, having twins over the age of 3 is way easier than having a singleton. The whole built in playmate thing is for real - I don't know how I survived having 1 child. It's a good think ds12 was born 20 months after dd14! And since my twins were born when dd9 was only 22 months old, we have a playgroup!

I still remember when they both got rotavirus at the age of your twins, and vomited and pooped for 10 days straight. We camped out in the living room on a large comforter, with a bunch of towels. Fortunately, they were too weak to get themselved off of the comforter. One of a few really bad times with twins (there are a few more - don't want to scare you). But I'm so glad I get to experience all the good, too.

 

[quandrea]

Thanks so much everyone. My little ones are just sitting with me having lunch--a quiet moment. This morning ds shut his finger in a drawer while I was getting ready to jump in the shower. I'm going out today to get guards for the bathroom drawers. I think I need more baby proofing like the pp said. With dd 6 we didn't need to do anything. She just listened and she was only one. I have to adjust my thinking. I also emptied a cupboard in the kitchen--now they can climb into it and I don't have to panic about its possibly dangerous contents. I have to work on the no emotion discipline thing. I'm good until about 11 am with that and then it kind of falls apart. Anyway, we'll get there. Keep the ideas coming. Just hearing from you all makes me feel so much better.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

People ask me what having twins was like and sometimes I can't recall specifics it was so much of a blur for us. DH and I were both working off hours and it was so stressful. We were exahusted most of the time. It was a great experience but I don't think I'd want to relive those early years.

We have a large family room that we completely child proofed and cushioned, lol. We added a playhouse and small slide and eventually toys and books and such, and they stayed pretty busy there. I do remember days, though, where it was only 9am and I'd already pulled them off the ledge about a hundred times and I wondered where I'd get the strength to go on for the rest of the day. (I found it somewhere but I milked those midday naps until they were almost 4!) We also spent a lot of time walking outside and at playgrounds, etc.

As pp's mentioned, things got better as they got older. We spent a lot of time together as a family (and still do). Even though ours are a boy and a girl, they've always gotten along well and enjoy spending time together. Sure, we've had to break up some knock-down-drag-outs at times, but overall they're very caring about one another which is great. There are a lot of benefits to having two the same age.

Ours just turned 13. I've spent a lot of time reflecting where the years went. I always tried to remind myself not to "wish it away" especially when things got crazy - based on what others told me about how fast it goes by (which it really does). I was also diagnosed with breast cancer when they were just 5yo which gave me a whole new perspective on the time I had with them and how I wanted to make each and every minute I was given with them count, as there were a few years I wasn't sure I'd have the opportunity to be there for them or see them grow up, etc. They have clearly been the most important job I've ever had - and the most rewarding. It's hard to think that in just a few years, they'll be off to college, which blows my mind because it seems like I just had them.

So as hectic as it gets, and as tired as you get, know that they're a blessing and there will be a time you miss these days (even if it's a wee bit).

 

[quandrea]

People ask me what having twins was like and sometimes I can't recall specifics it was so much of a blur for us. DH and I were both working off hours and it was so stressful. We were exahusted most of the time. It was a great experience but I don't think I'd want to relive those early years.

We have a large family room that we completely child proofed and cushioned, lol. We added a playhouse and small slide and eventually toys and books and such, and they stayed pretty busy there. I do remember days, though, where it was only 9am and I'd already pulled them off the ledge about a hundred times and I wondered where I'd get the strength to go on for the rest of the day. (I found it somewhere but I milked those midday naps until they were almost 4!) We also spent a lot of time walking outside and at playgrounds, etc.

As pp's mentioned, things got better as they got older. We spent a lot of time together as a family (and still do). Even though ours are a boy and a girl, they've always gotten along well and enjoy spending time together. Sure, we've had to break up some knock-down-drag-outs at times, but overall they're very caring about one another which is great. There are a lot of benefits to having two the same age.

Ours just turned 13. I've spent a lot of time reflecting where the years went. I always tried to remind myself not to "wish it away" especially when things got crazy - based on what others told me about how fast it goes by (which it really does). I was also diagnosed with breast cancer when they were just 5yo which gave me a whole new perspective on the time I had with them and how I wanted to make each and every minute I was given with them count, as there were a few years I wasn't sure I'd have the opportunity to be there for them or see them grow up, etc. They have clearly been the most important job I've ever had - and the most rewarding. It's hard to think that in just a few years, they'll be off to college, which blows my mind because it seems like I just had them.

So as hectic as it gets, and as tired as you get, know that they're a blessing and there will be a time you miss these days (even if it's a wee bit).

Thank you. We are so blessed. My twins were a surprise pregancy after five years of infertility, two failed IVfs and four miscarriages. They truly are miracles. Just enjoying nap time now myself. The quiet in the house if lovely.

 

[mom2rb]

My boys are twelve now. The first year sucked. The second year was really bad. By the time they were three I had it easier than my friends. It gets so much better.

I super baby proofed the house. I ripped up the carpet and put down laminate floors (you can clean those up with Windex). I had futon couches with washable covers. I painted the walls with washable paint. I made it where it was pretty easy to clean up their messes.

Get a home alarm and keep it on. They will work together to get out the door and down the street while you are in the bathroom.

 

[formill]

Found the same thing with our twins as most other posters- SUPER babyproofing was needed for ours. If you so much as set down a bag of groceries and you thought the babies were at the other end of the house....before you knew it that bag of groceries was EVERYWHERE. We had gates and locks on everthing - even screwed shut drawers under their beds......had to put locks on the outside of their bedroom closet doors..... our Christmas tree was even fenced off one year- we used their crib sides as fences when they had just switched to beds. I did not have to babyproof so heavily with my other two children. Twins will get into everything! It is/was fantastic and would not have changed a thing!

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

(My twins turned 2 about 2 weeks ago)

1) Containment, containment, containment. Our house is baby-proofed to an Alcatraz level. They have more freedom now, but at 14 months they were our gated off living room, the totally escape proof playroom or contained in a high chair/crib etc. This saved my sanity because I could get stuff done, but it also allowed me to focus on just a few rules at once. In the living room, for example, the only 3 rules were no standing on the couch, no banging the windows and no touching the tv. Once we got those down, we expanded their world a little bit. Get a maze of gates off craigslist, and put them in lockdown.

2) "No" does not work, redirecting works. So, instead of saying "No banging on the windows," I say "Windows are not for banging, let's bang on the floor (or the couch, the drum) instead!" Giving them something to do as opposed to what not to do really works well.

3) At this age, it's really important to remember they do not do things out of spite or mischief. They're simply trying to learn all the rules, so they act like little scientists. "I can't bang on the windows if mom's here, but what if she's on the phone? What if the tv is on? What if it's dad?" They are too little to be "bad" they're just curious.

4) Leaving ALL emotion out of discipline will do wonders. Remain as neutral as possible, so they get no reaction for you. They still are to young to get that mom is angry and angry=bad, they just know that they're causing some type of reaction.

5) I will play them off each other, just a little. If one is running around like a wildman, I'll ask the other if he would like to come and read a story. Usually crazy kid stops whatever he's doing to come and read too.

I also LOVE LOVE the Love and Logic book (I think it's the "early childhood" one. It was very helpful in learning some tools that I started around 15-16 months, and work really well now!

Yep...right on target!

And it's always so cool to hear about more B/G twins! MY favorite kind!

 

[mjkacmom]

My boys are twelve now. The first year sucked. The second year was really bad. By the time they were three I had it easier than my friends. It gets so much better.

I super baby proofed the house. I ripped up the carpet and put down laminate floors (you can clean those up with Windex). I had futon couches with washable covers. I painted the walls with washable paint. I made it where it was pretty easy to clean up their messes.

Get a home alarm and keep it on. They will work together to get out the door and down the street while you are in the bathroom.

Ah, yes, the alarm doors. I has a friend return a 2 year old to me (5 blocks away). My next store neighbor, and a friend a block over, also returned him to me. My older kids needed to be kicked out of their cribs at 4 (and still napping). My twins were easily climbing out of their cribs at 2, and stopped napping (although enjoyed their daily party).

 

[quandrea]

All your comments remind me of my twins. We had to put a lid on my daughter's crib at nine months because she was trying to climb out and couldn't walk yet. My friend has twins who escaped from their bedroom through a window and ended up on the roof (everyone was fine). My two don't leave the house yet when I'm in the bathroom because I take them with me. It seems they can total a room in a minute flat and just seem to find trouble. Has to be the two brains are better than one thing. Lots of laughs though. Today we just went to buy first pairs of shoes. They look adorable. Enjoying coffe and a nap again this afternoon. As for the laminate floors that a pp poster mentioned--I love them. I had my first experience with them in Sept at OKW. Our tiles here at home are wearing and I'm leaning toward laminte next time around--indestructable. As for our Christmas tree--I'm not even bothering with a fence. My son dismantles the baby gates and tips them over. We are just putting the once in the rec room this year. They aren't in that room too often. In the main living area I have a small tabletop that we use down at WDW. I think that will be our tree of choice for a few years. Keep the twin stories coming, they make my day!

 

[Sonya]

My twins were easily climbing out of their cribs at 2, and stopped napping (although enjoyed their daily party).

Oh yes, the daily party! We have ours in the night, as I am trying to get them to go to sleep! I have taken to separating them, one in my bed and one in her own, to get them to fall asleep. They still cry for their sister.

 

[kathmzh]

Loving this thread! My boy/girl twins just turned 13 last week. I gated off the stairs and I gated them in the kitchen/family room when I was trying to cook, etc., but for the most part they were pretty good (although it's a blur to me, as well.)
They had so many toys, I would squirrel things away and rotate things in and out to keep them interested -- so there were not too many toys out at one time. I will say that mine did listen when I said no, kindly and firmly, about kitchen cabinets, starting to climb gates, etc. But they do, of course, have to be watched like a HAWK. I hardly showered for a year!! Enjoy your precious babies!!!

 

[3smithboys]

We have 7 year old boy twins, and they were hard work for a number of years - I would say it started to get easier around 4! By then it was easier than having a singleton - and they have an older brother (who is 4 1/2 years older.) My twins always have someone to play with - they are best friends!!! I love having twins... It is great watching their relationship....

 

[ORMom2Four]

I love having twins... It is great watching their relationship....

Our twin girls are 6 months old, and I'm ready to have another set, it is SO MUCH FUN!

Our girls are not yet mobile, but for our other kids, other people have already said what worked for us too. Containment was my secret to a peaceful day. Having a room where they can play safely and not get into things is the key.

 

[Pinkpony]

I feel your pain. My twins are now 6, and life is SOOOOO much easier! I have blocked out the first 18 months entirely...up to age 3 is sketchy. LOL! It was REALLY hard, I will not lie. My oldest was 2 when the twins were born which only added to the workload.

All I can say is...this too shall pass. I really regret I was not able to enjoy more of their infancy/toddlerhood. It was just so hard and I was always waiting for the next stage of "independence." Life seemed to get a little easier when they turned 3, and now they are in first grade and I miss them all day! They grow up SOO fast!

This. All of it.

Only my oldest was 8 1/2 years older, not 2.

They'll be turning 18 in a couple of months and leaving for college in a year. So sad. So very sad. I "wished" away their infancy and toddler years because it was so hard, and now I wish I had them back.

Designate a room they can tear up. Get lots of tubs for quick pick-ups. Don't sweat the little stuff. If you can't keep them out of the Christmas tree, buy a small one to put on a table this year. Have one lower cabinet in the kitchen that they're "allowed" access to. A cabinet full of tupperware kept mine happy while I cooked, plus let them think they were being naughty, which they thoroughly enjoyed.

I have a picture of them when I caught them "cleaning out" the dishwasher. One is sitting on the lid, handing the one on the floor the goods. Makes me giggle every time I see it.

Most of all, try to enjoy them.

It does get easier. Hang in there!