Anyone have(read) any of Dr. Sears pregnancy/baby/children books??

[AliciaS]

I have the Baby Book and it didn't really do much for me. I liked the factual information, but that's about it. "The Baby Whisperer" (I call her "The British Nanny"), Tracy Hogg, is my favorite. She is into understanding you baby's cries and needs and responding accordingly. She supports routine and ritual, but not down to the minute or anything. Her days follow the rythym of EASY - Eat, Activity, Sleep, You (the mama). Depending on the child's age, you repeat and repeat and repeat.

 

[katerkat]

I would definitely get pregnancy/baby books from the library first! Speaking as someone who has a whole shelf of them, and ended up just doing bits and pieces of every parenting style.

I did a lot of the stuff Dr. Sears recommends - we coslept for a while, for example. But Russ thrashes in his sleep, making it uncomfortable for everyone once he became a toddler, so we slowly worked, without ever crying it out, to get him in the crib in his room. It took four months but he's there now, all night, almost every night. That's what was best for us. AP-style says he should still be co-sleeping, mainstream says he should have always been in the crib, but we did what worked for everyone.

I think he's fairly well adjusted. Not a perfect kid, but I don't think I've spoiled him. (Well, I do still rock him to sleep. But I really enjoy the time since he rarely cuddles otherwise. So his grandparents will claim he's spoiled. )

 

[Bird-Mom]

I have read all of them. The Baby Book is a good reference for the first 2 years for things like illnesses, milestones, etc. At our Half Price book stores and many consignment stores, you can find used, relatively new editions of all of his books. I prefer other pregnancy books. For an intro to pregnancy, I would recommend Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn by Penny Simkin et al. I could also recommend several other books to you if you like; I am a midwifery student and have read most of them.

I am a 100% attached mama. I am still nursing my 2.5 year old as well as co-sleeping with her. My older dd nursed until she was 2 and weaned with gentle mama encouragement. She co-slept until she was almost 3. We had a huge bed-a king and twin pushed together-for awhile. It was heavenly not to have to get up for feedings in the middle of the night. I think that it is so much easier to respond to your children's needs without having to find your glasses, get up, turn the light on, stumble down the hall, etc. I also wear my babies until they don't want to any more. Neither one of my girls were in a stroller before the age of one. I still wear my 2.5 year old in a pouch when we go to Disney. It is huge debate, but I could and would never let my child cry it out. There are other ways to learn sleep and self-soothing. I believe in gentle discipline and don't spank or yell.

The results of my parenting are two spirited, sensitive, gentle, loving, engaging and independent girls. You wouldn't think that attachment would breed independence, but it does. The principle is this...you are always there for the child. When the child begins to separate, he goes and comes back to find you there. After the process is repeated, the child knows that you will be there and he can strike out on his own with nothing to worry about. I am not saying that non-attachment doesn't breed independence or other parenting methods will not yield independence, just explaining the theory behind attachment parenting.

There is another book to read on the subject of AP. It is called Attachment Parenting by Katie Ann Granjou. It is a short read and definitely worth the time.

As for Dr. Sears' medical advice, I pretty much leave it because I am very alternative when it comes to medicine. We have a chiropractor as our family doc and don't use allopathic medicines unless every natural attempt has faied.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions! I love to talk AP.

 

[Maggimus]

If anyone has pregnancy, baby books they want to get rid of... please PM me..

Thanks everyone for their advice on this... I hate to go and buy the book new, not knowing whether I am really interested in it or not.

Everyone can keep talking about this... its really quite interesting to hear everyones reasoning on this subject. Ofcourse there is no RIGHT way... but I do like hearing the 'why's' people use the techniques they do..
-maggie

 

[kelma]

OK, just sooo jealous of those of you who have the Sears' as peds! I love his books and find that even my friends who parent differently than I, still enjoy his books. He is an attachment parenting proponent, but he also specifically says, several times, that you have to do what works best for your family.

Love him!

Kelma

 

[ksumn1]

I've read Dr. Sears books and agreed with many things he advocates, but some didn't work for us. I would also like to suggest What to Expect the 1st year and What to expect the Toddler Years books. Alot of what they say os common sense but very informative too. How do deal with diffrent childhoos ailments, illnesses, tantrums, feeding, routines, etc.

 

[grlpwrd]

Be sure to take a look at www.mothering.com . Mothering magazine is very popular for attachment parenting and there are forums with a lot of discussions on topics like Dr Sears.

Whatever you do, though, please stay away from Ezzo's Babywise. It is too extreme.

 

[rparmfamily]

Yes, my reference about my children not being "brats" was a defense I guess against what a lot of AP or AP-leaning parents hear in their day to day lives. That we are spoiling our children,etc. I don't hear it very much now that my children aren't babies (apparently that's when AP parents must spoil their children the most LOL). I do still co-sleep with my 4 year old most nights, it's up to him. I put both my children to sleep in their own beds (their choice) and if they feel the need for the added security they are welcome to join us in our room.

For me, it's all about being respectful of our children and their feelings, emotions,etc. I really try to keep that in mind when I parent. I don't like someone yelling at me to do something, or not letting me eat when I'm hungry, or if I'm upset and crying to just let me cry without comforting me...

I'm at Motheringcommune.com too, LOL. GREAT resource. I don't post much though, sometimes those boards can be tough! (as many internet boards are!)

Good luck to the OP! I'd send you my copy but it's on loan to it's 3rd new-mom now!


Oh yes--and non-AP children aren't necessarily "brats" either!

 

[Maggimus]

You all are absolutely so helpful with this stuff. Thanks a bunch!

 

[My2Cinderellas]

Whatever you do, though, please stay away from Ezzo's Babywise. It is too extreme.

I agree! I had a good friend recommend this book to me, so I picked it up. No way Jose! I am with most of the other posters, I read several different books and took bits and pieces from each.

We had the girls in our room as newborns, it didn't work well. DH got no sleep, every little twitch and sound woke him up. But I'd bring the girls into bed to nurse in the middle of the night, and if I fell asleep, no problems. Whoever woke up first would put her back in her room/crib.

My all-purpose guide is the one by the American Academy of Pediatrics.
http://www.amazon.com/Caring-Your-Y..._bbs_sr_1/102-4962291-3930553?ie=UTF8&s=books

I think it's a good starting point. I don't think they promote breastfeeding as strongly as they should, but it's a great reference for when they should hit various milestones and for when they get sick. I also have read (but do not own) the Sears' books and agree with a lot of their opinions too. What worked for me was somewhere between the two.

 

[kwhite1022]

Well as a mother of 3, my current youngest just turned 1, I will say, every parent has to find the best way for them, and usually/unfortunetly you probably wont find it in a book. The other thing these books dont usually take into consideration is the fact that each baby is so different, my 3 all look like copies of each other, but each had their own "thing" that was an issue for them. No one way worked the same for any of them, as they had such different temperments and personalities. As a joke, God granted me my easy one first, I think it was a ploy to get me to have more......by the last one, Im no longer finding the humor in the joke!! LOL Best advice ever given to me, trust your instincts, you are their mother and you will know how to best care for your baby.

 

[4shinystars]

My DDs are 10 and 15 now, and we followed much of the Sears' teachings. I got to meet them at a conference back in 94-great folks and they live what they teach.
15 yr old is an honors student, very independent,artistic, popular, well-rounded, and most definitely not a "brat".
10 yr old is loving, polite, a great student, and friend to all.

Both sleep in their own beds now and eat regular food.
In the end, it's what works best for both you and your child. I hate to see arguments arise that one parenting style is best/worst for everyone. Each child is different.

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

Looking for a parenting books?

Go to the library or bookstore or both. Read some on the shelf. Pick the one that sounds like what you want to do. Problem solved!

 

[Liltx]

I would skip most pregnancy books (as long as you stay healthy they will not make a diffence in child outcomes) and buy baby books from a resale book store. Just make sure you don't buy old versions. Babywise has a newer gentler version that is actually very helpful in raising "some" children. And even Dr. Sears has modified his version to address over tired parents. But no book will work for all.

I read dr. sears pre baby and was all set to cosleep and night time parent. Well, 2 days into it I just could not sleep with my baby in my room. We all did much better in our own beds. I did nurse for 14 months, which just happened to work out. I wasn't set on nursing past 8 weeks or so.
About 6 weeks into mothering I found Babywise. This system just made sense for our family. And worked beauifully for our kids. My babies slept through the night at 8 weeks and 4 weeks. Sleeping through the night in my house means at least 10 hours. I allowed my babies to fuss but never cry. Sleep is very importatn no matter what style you use, this is when their brains develop. Sleep deprivation is a VERY serious issue. We also did a flexible feeding schdules but always followed some principles such as never nursing to sleep and always feeding as soon as they woke up followed by activity time. The time between feedings was different for my two kids. Both my dh and I believe our relationship is the most important piece of our family so we nurture that first and naturally our children thrive because of this. We insist on private time every evening from 7:30 to 10:00. Bedtime at our house is 7:30 with very little exception beyond illness or special occasions.
Most of all I listen to my instincts. My children are happy, independent, and well behaved. Not because of any parenting philosophy beyond my own.
Any parenting style can be taken to extremes. Making an obviously hungry baby scream waiting to eat because of a schedule and openly nursing a 3 year old in the middle of a public school lobby in front of 5th grade boys are what gives both styles a bad name.

Good luck when are you due?

Monica

 

[Tiger926]

I keep seeing a common thread in many posts and that is that people are assuming that one has to follow what is in the parenting book just because you read it in the book. Many of us read parenting books as reference - as other posters have mentioned, you can use what you feel comfortable with whether it's from one book, or a variety of books. You can take bits and pieces as well and adapt this to your own style. I happen to believe that the Sears' books are the best fit for our family and being an English teacher with over 1,100 books at home, I've read a ton and I mean a ton of parenting books! I happen to believe that you can't go wrong with these books as they are well written, easy to understand, very thorough and best of all, they respect the child, parents and family unit as being of utmost importance. I am one of those people who believe that parents do not always know best (as a teacher of special education, at risk students, I see this proven day in and day out!) and so with a plethora of parenting books out there written by experts in the field (and just because they have the title of doctor in their name - don't get me started on Dr. Ferber - it does not mean that he/she is reputable in his field), they are a great help in assisting us with the most rewarding, but most challenging job in the world!

Happy reading, Tiger

 

[jennilouwho]

I agree with those that say to read a variety of books and take what you want from them. I find they are more helpful for ideas than straight out doing what they said. Babywise worked great for us. I didn't do everything it said, but once he was about 2 months old I kept my son on an eat, play, and then sleep schedule and he has slept through the night pretty well since about then. He is 8 months now. I'm not into attachment parenting, but I don't have a problem with those that are. My only concern with that is if you are going to co-sleep, to make sure it is done safely and do read up on that! One night after my DS was first born, I was just so tired and brought him into bed with us and DH almost rolled over him! It was very scary. He never came into bed with us again.

 

[emh1129]

I LOVE Dr. Sears. We co-sleep, breastfeed, babywear, etc. and just love attachment parenting.
I am so jealous of those of you who actually have Dr. S for a ped! Lucky He's wonderful! Although we recently found an awesome ped who is very pro-AP.

And I was thrilled to see so many other slinging moms & dads & lots of nursing babes at WDW on our first trip this month!

 

[Maggimus]

I am interested in this Babywise I hear so much about-- who is the author of that?

 

[emh1129]

I am interested in this Babywise I hear so much about-- who is the author of that?

Ezzo and Buckham (sp?)

This is from BabyCenter (a pretty mainstream message board, if I went to any other one, you'd probably find the sentiment too harsh)

"Baby care book could be dangerous" — Child magazine, August 1998
"Babywise advice linked to dehydration, failure to thrive" — "AAP News," April 1998
"A Tough Plan for Raising Children Draws Fire: Babywise Books Worry Pediatricians and Others" — Washington Post, February 27, 1999

These startling headlines refer to the top-selling and highly controversial childcare guides On Becoming Babywise (published in 1995) and Babywise II, written by Gary Ezzo, a self-described Christian pastor, and endorsed by Robert Bucknam, a pediatrician. Babywise is aimed at parents of babies up to 5 months old, and Babywise II addresses parents of children 5 to 15 months old. In 1999, Ezzo and Bucknam published On Becoming Childwise, a guide for parents of toddlers through 8-year-olds.

Ezzo, who has no formal medical training, is executive director of the for-profit organization Growing Families International (GFI). With his wife, Anne Marie, Ezzo runs church-based classes for parents who wish to give their children a rigid religious upbringing. Although few readers know it, the Babywise books are the secular versions of Ezzo's original parenting program, which includes guides such as "Preparation for Parenting" and "Growing Kids God's Way" (GKGW). The content of these guides is based on GFI's own unpublished self-conducted studies. The studies have not been subjected to peer review, which means there has been no independent, professional evaluation of the studies or their findings, the usual method of verifying the worth of scientific studies.

http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/9108.html

There is more to that article at the link above. Many, many articles (warnings?) have been written about this topic. I read the book when I had my first.. then it went into the garbage.

 

[Maggimus]

WOW!!!

Back to Sears....


I suppose I am just going to look into getting old copies of these type books... seems like nothing is worth purchasing new at this point.