Anyone getting married before their Wedding?

[chell]

Is anyone here actually getting married before their Wedding date? We are thinking about it because it will take some pressure off as well as save me tons of money in health insurance. Just wondering if anyone else was considering the idea and how it is going for you. I don't want people to be upset with us for doing that but in our eyes we are just taking care of the legal aspect early. The actual Wedding ceremony is our commitment and sharing that with our loved ones is a huge deal.

 

[Lorelei528]

Michele-
I wasn't going to post this, but since you asked...DF and I are going down to City Hall on Friday (yep, this Friday the 20th) here in NYC to get married..

Our Disney Wedding will be totally different though and his family are flying in from Ireland and you know, I'll be wearing THE dress...yadda, yadda, yadda.

It's a long story, but it is how our story has evolved....

However, the only people who will know we are already married are our immediate families and VERY close friends. (Oh, and Teresa Knox!) This is because we are going to be having a party/reception at home next June 20 after our Disney Wedding for everybody else...(which will actually be our first anny) and as you said..some people are weird about it and I don't want people being all "so, it's actually a first anniversary party, not a wedding reception...", you know?

Like I said, there are many reasons we are doing it this way, but two biggies are time (planning) and financial....

Hope that's not TMI for anybody!

I ordered my little bouquet just this morning from my neigborhood florist and picked up a white satin bag at a local shop...now I have to run out and buy DF his outfit!! Even though it's just a short (like 3 min) ceremony, it's still pretty exciting!!

 

[newyearsbride]

Awww... Lorelei, good luck and congratulations!

 

[chell]

Congrats Lorelei! We went yesterday to get our marriage license. We will be getting married on July 15 - two years since our first date. I'm glad you understand what we are going through and the reasons. It just makes sense for us to go ahead. We couldn't have our Wedding in July unless it was next year so this way we still get "our anniversary" date and get a fall Wedding.

I have no idea what to wear that day. So far the only other people to know, besides us and the people at the court house, were our two witnesses and our pastor. The two witnesses are friends of ours, one my Maid of Honor and the other is a great friend who is helping with the decorations and all at the Wedding.

This morning I spent some time with my sister and I just couldn't keep it from her. So I made her promise not to tell anyone else. Then the first thing she said after that was asking if she could be there. I almost cried. I didn't think it was such a big deal to her. She just isn't a mushy person. So it really means a lot to know that she wants to be there with us.

 

[Lorelei528]

Michele-
I know...originally DF and I just wanted our friend to be our witness (it was because of her that we met basically)...

But without going into much detail we were informed for our situation it's good to have family there...

Anyway...so I asked my brother and SILand asked if my neice could come because she's going to be my MOH at Disney, at first they thought she had to work, now it turns out, she's coming....then of course SIL said, what about mom? So, I had to ask my mom. Then mom said..."what about your other brother? So, then I had to ask my OTHER brother and SIL!!! My other SIL can't come, but my other brother is!!! And our friend is still coming, plus my cousin works down in the financial district and she might stop by as well! So what was originally suppossed to be us and one witness is going to be like 8 people!!

So funny how people really want to be their for our short, 3 min ceremonies!!

 

[Skylarr29]

We are getting married next week due to our bun in the oven and we need insurance.

I agree that it will just be for legal reasons and the wedding will be the actual exchange of our vows etc.

 

[doryandnemo]

I was also married a few months before my disney wedding and it was such a relief once we were actually down in Florida not to have to stress about the liscense and all of those details! We only really told our parents and those closest to us, and yes a few of them had a little defficulty with it but to us it didn't matter one bit. It's just one more day to celebrate! Happy paperwork day!

 

[bourgie]

My SIL got married by a Justice I think in September 06, (for military reasons) small ceremony just her parents and now inlaws, and then in Dec 07 had a church wedding and a really nice reception.

It was really, really nice.

 

[chell]

Thanks everyone. You sure have made me feel better! I would love to hear about more experiences.

 

[hiwaygal]

Technically we were married before our wedding too...okay it was only four days...

The cost of marriage license in Florida was at least twice as much as they are here at home. So we were married by a JOP/wedding magistrate here the Friday before we left for Disney.

My parents, brother and SIL were able to come down and celebrate with us. And because the magistrates office was only a block or two from my office, a couple of the girls from work met us afterwards and showered us with pretzel crumbs. (They didn't think to bring rice or birdseed and pretzels was the only thing in the vending machine they thought would work.) I still have that pretzel bag.

Now we celebrate the day we were actually married, the day of our wedding, and all the days inbetween!

No matter what your reasons, if it works for the two of you that's all that matters!

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Talk about a funny story. I think this happens more then we realize. I was in an airport waiting for a connecting flight. The girl that was sitting next to me and I struck up a conversation...Which started with I love your ring! The more we started talking about her wedding she finally told me..."My fiance and I are already married. We bought a house in Oct of LAST YEAR! No one knows b/c we are getting married at Sandals NEXT DECEMBER! I nearly died. They have been able to keep it a secret. She wasn't sure what date they would celebrate their anniversary. Honestly, I think it's cool to have 2 dates...one special to you and the other for everyone to know about.

I considered it for medical insurance reasons too...but luckily that all worked out in the end. (long dang story)

 

[bourgie]

No matter what your reasons, if it works for the two of you that's all that matters![/QUOTE]

I agree 100%!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[chell]

Y'all are awesome! I feel so much better about it all now and don't feel like people will think we are freaks when (if) they find out.

 

[Chedstro]

This thread is too funny! We had just the opposite situation.

Due to circumstances beyond our control (long story) we had our Disney wedding before our legal one.

We had arranged for a Disney wedding with friends and family (most from out of town) for a certain weekend.

My soon-to-be-ex husband up and died before the divorce was final. So we had to wait for a death certificate before we could get a wedding license, arg!

Our friend who was to marry us, a Notary Public (legal in Fl) said "Oh heck, let's go ahead with the wedding as planned. I can sign and do the paperwork later"

Only a few people knew the circumstances. We had a lovely wedding. And were "legally" married a little over a month later at the local Cracker Barrel with a few friends who knew.

BTW - Cracker Barrel was truly amazed and gave us free desserts. They said it was the first wedding inside, they had a few on the porch

 

[hiwaygal]

BTW - Cracker Barrel was truly amazed and gave us free desserts. They said it was the first wedding inside, they had a few on the porch

Sounds like a good southern wedding (I feel like I can say that since I'm in the south too...)

We spent the first two hours of our married life walking around the Bass Pro (because my father and brother thought it was cool)

 

[shezfrombermuda]

We were going to get married before our disney wedding due to immigration reasons. If I was going to get kicked out of the country (because I am not working and not married so I didn't have a permit) we were going to go to city hall and get married and not tell anyone. Our Disney wedding would be first and only wedding to our families and guests. It worked out that I have "permission to reside" so we don't have to do it.

 

[Ember]

I wasn't going to post... But I know a couple that had such a horrible experience with this very issue that I couldn't help it.

They got married at city hall, by a justice of the peace when she found out she was pregnant. It was important to her. It was a rush thing, and no one knew except the parents. A year later they had a wedding.

The long and short of it was that it came out that they were already married at the reception. People were so hurt that it actually split the family for a while and they had friends no longer talk to them. It wasn't that anyone would have cared, but it was the fact that they had lied to everyone, I think. It was a lot of drama for nothing.

Watching a couple actually become husband and wife (or wife and wife, ect) is a special moment. (Which is why the sister in a previous post wanted to be there, and another commented on people wanting to be there for a 3 minute ceremony.) And having to pull the wool over the eyes of the people you care about is dishonest. If it wasn't "a big deal" then honesty wouldn't be an issue and there would be no need to keep it a big secret. People want to witness *that* moment, that's why you've asked them to come, only now it's a repeat performance that you're presenting as the real deal. But why?

So I guess what I'm saying is that everyone has their own reasons to get married when they do, and that's perfectly okay. But I would suggest being open and honest about it with friends and loved ones. They will understand your reasons, they love you. But they may not understand why you felt you had to lie. There is nothing to be ashamed about in wanting a wedding with all the frills. And sharing those vows a second time with loved ones doesn't make them less special. But I think tainting your marriage with a lie isn't a good way to start... And it can wind up hurting a lot of people.

I'm not meaning to rain on anyone's parade, honest. As I've said, I've just seen first hand how this can go very badly.

 

[chell]

This thread is too funny! We had just the opposite situation.

Due to circumstances beyond our control (long story) we had our Disney wedding before our legal one.

We had arranged for a Disney wedding with friends and family (most from out of town) for a certain weekend.

My soon-to-be-ex husband up and died before the divorce was final. So we had to wait for a death certificate before we could get a wedding license, arg!

Our friend who was to marry us, a Notary Public (legal in Fl) said "Oh heck, let's go ahead with the wedding as planned. I can sign and do the paperwork later"

Only a few people knew the circumstances. We had a lovely wedding. And were "legally" married a little over a month later at the local Cracker Barrel with a few friends who knew.

BTW - Cracker Barrel was truly amazed and gave us free desserts. They said it was the first wedding inside, they had a few on the porch

Wow, you sure did have an opposite experience. I'm glad it worked out for you though. This is the bad side of me talking now - I sure hope you sill were listed on some life insurance for the ex. My ex died about a month after they dropped the life insurance I had on him.

 

[chell]

One month from today we will be doing the legal ceremony and 5 months from today will be our actual Wedding.

 

[Chedstro]

chell - no, he had defaulted on his life insurance long ago. "When I am dead, what do I care about what happens to you?"

Hence, the separation for over 10 years before I met my wonderful Disney Prince.

Still working on his estate - but I am coming out better as a widow than a divorcee.