Anyone else NOT in favor of taking friends on vacation?

[Rajah]

I can only speak for myself as an only child who was allowed to bring friends on occasion. I really treasured those trips as much as the family-only ones, and I think if the family takes fairly frequent vacations (even just weekend getaways) then occasionally taking a good friend is fine. But not all the time.

 

[aprincessmom]

It depends on the child.

DD is still pretty young (8) so we haven't taken anyone with us overnight but we do lots of day trips and she's always been allowed to take friends if she'd like. She has two friends who are like my second daughters!

If DD would like to take someone on vacation with us when she gets older I'd be open to it as long as the parents don't mind. We take at least 2 vacations a year (a week or longer) and many more short 3-day trips so we spend lots of time together as a family vacationing and even more time together on a daily basis. Adding one or two friends to the mix wouldn't take away from that for me.

Heck, we already take one vacation a year with extended family (sister and her family, my parents and my uncle, aunt and their 4 kids) so only having 2-3 people on a trip is a treat!

 

[grinningghost]

Here's my experience. Our DD was 14 last summer (an only child). We did take a friend and I will never ever regret it. It was the best thing we could have done. It made DH and my vacation so much more pleasant knowing she was happy having her friend along. Otherwise, we would have been subjected to teenage whining and brooding.

There comes a point, where reconnecting with the family might mean doing things a little differently. I would have considered it a pretty horrible family connection if everyone was miserable.

This way, the kids went their way, we went ours, and then at times, we met up together - we always did for dinner at least. It worked out great, and I wouldn't go without a friend ever again.

 

[Figaro]

We tried hard not to put a lot of emphasis on vacations being "special." Mostly because having high expectations usually means disappointment when life happens as it does and things don't work out the way we had expected/hoped they would. And after reading how much unhappiness people experience when things don't work out the way they had planned at WDW, I'm really, really glad my Mom emphasized how to be happy with what you have(smile).

Spending a lot of time with the kids and their friends was just part of our day to day life. Our house was kid central(smile), and we were involved as volunteers in all of the kids activities, so we knew all of the kids who were their friends quite well and they knew us too. This meant that vacations were really just more of the same...since we spent so much time with the kids and their friends, vacations were the same just in a different place.

But then, we were the kind of casual people that sort of collect other people's kids. I've been called mom by my kids friends so long (and grandma by their kids since they are all grown up now)(smile), that adding a kid or two to a vacation was just kind of a given.

Some of the most special, connected times we had with the kids were the ones that fit into our day to day lives. Taking the kids to school. Watching a movie with them at home. Sitting in a dressing room while my youngest tried on prom dress after prom dress. Having a "miss school today so we can go for lunch" day. Driving to get an ice cream cone to celebrate first day of school/last day of school/first day of spring/ and all kinds of other things.

Which was also some of the best advice my Mom gave me...to make the day to day life with your kids special and not wait until some magical moment on vacation and hope that will happen (along with the put time and energy into your marriage because if you parent your kids right, they will grow up and leave and it isn't like you can ignore your spouse for those years and expect to have a marriage after the kids are grown)(smile).

 

[rocketriter]

My parents sometimes allowed me to take a friend on a vacation, and we plan to do the same with our kids--it's one way we plan to use our DVC membership. My experience was that when the kids can talk to each other, it takes pressure off of the parents rather than adding pressure.

Of course it has to be the right kid, and you have to sweetly but firmly set some practical ground rules. But I look forward to offering this to our kids as they enter their teens.

 

[mom2boys]

I have two boys 17 months apart - at this point I would have to say there are no plans to take a friend along on vacation. Perhaps DH's niece but definitely not a friend. Our guys are still young - (almost) 9 & 10. They get along fine - for brothers. And are content.

 

[HollyJoy]

I guess it just depends on your situation! When we took our Disney trip when I was in High School, my parents allowed me to bring a friend.. then and only then. Guess by then, I was responsible enough to roam around WDW w/out them. However, I do remember being with my parents an awful lot, and we didn't go out in the evening by ourselves. Times have changed however. I know with my kids being the ages they are (6 and 4) there's NO WAY I'd bring a friend with us!

 

[OhMari]

Get this,

I know a people that live in my area, and they vacation together every year and leave their kids home. Our neighbors 2 doors down, which happens to be my husbands cousin have left their 2 daughters with her sister every year for the last 13 years.

Last year this cousin took their daughters 9 & 12 to WDW, cause he had a construction convention in Florida. They finally spent time with their girls, but the mom told us, never again, she is back to her vacationing with other couples in the carribean.



My youngest told me we can go back to WDW if she can bring a friend. Our daughter is 14. Or all my kids say that everyone has to be along for the family vacation (4 kids) or else it is no fun.

 

[bballmom56]

figaro ~ well said! We have a DD and DS, 4 1/2 years apart. Each had best friends. When DD was 14 she brought her best friend on our 3 day trip to the shore. That left time for DH and me to be with DS who was 9 then. The next year they each brought a best friend - kids who were almost as much mine as they were their parents! It worked out extremely well. Last summer, DD couldn't go with us as she was working, but DS, now 14, brought his friend and they could go do the stuff they wanted to (that DH and I didn't really want to do - arcades, etc.). And with cell phones, we were always in touch. What 14 year old boy wants to walk the boardwalk with his parents ? Just isn't cool.

DD has also had some wonderful trips when going with friends - she's been to Block Island, Cape Cod, the Outer Banks. She's more well traveled than we are!

But this Disney trip is just for the 4 of us. Since DD is now 20 and finishing her sophomore year of college, I'm thinking this may be one of the last "just the 4 of us" trips. DD and DS get along very well now and I can see them going off and doing things at Disney on their own. I know we're all looking forward to being together!