Anyone else have a child who won't/can't write??

[JESW]

My DS is 9 and in the 3rd grade. He has been having major problems in school this year since the class started doing more writing. His comprehension is very good and he can tell you what happened in a story, but when it comes to writing it down he freezes. In class he refuses to write and sometimes even cries. His teacher has been a saint but she also has 21 other students to help. DS has been to the Dean and to the Counselor and he spends time in their offices where they help him to write - he gets the work done but it's not very good. (far below his grade level)

Here it is a snow day and I'm trying to get him to work on his book report due 2/13. There are different parts in the report and it has been a slow and painful process. He had to do three illustrations and he did them no problem. But now he has to write 4 paragraphs and the highlights of the book and why he would or would not recommend it. He won't do it. We sat at the table while he whined, put his head down, rubbed his eye, played with his pencil, etc. etc. etc. I lost my patience and he is now in his room with no tv, no gameboy, nothing until he comes out ready to work. We fight with him like this ALL the time when it comes to writing homework.

Really, I start out VERY patient with him but it wears off quickly.

We have a school team meeting on monday with his teacher, the Dean, the Counselor and the school psychologist. We recently had DS put through a variety of tests through the school. He tests very high but not on writing.

I know this got very long, but has anyone else gone through this with their child???? We are hoping that the school will have some answers/help for us on monday. What in the world can we do for this kid???

This is not the only issue we have with this boy, but is the one that is affecting his school work the most.

Jill

 

[mudnuri]

Is it the actual form of the writing that he's having problems with? Like forming the letters etc.. or is it the way his brain and hand work together?

DD6 had problems with writing in Kindergarten, we believed it was comprehension...she didnt get what she had to write, but an occupational therapist began working with her, and it was actually the form of the letters, and how she held the pencil etc..

i'm sorry I cannot offer you any answers, however believe me, I understand the patience and loss there of it, when it comes to kids and their writing homework. DD's school has a super reading program, however DD's excell at reading, and it's put them in higher groups...DD in 1st grade is with 2nd graders, and that group requires 4-5 sentances regarding what she read...oh boy do I know about patience!! or lack there of!..LOL...

I honor you for making the effort for going into the school and meeting with the administrators and everyone who can help your child. To many parents today leave ALL of this up to the teachers, and it's so nice to hear about someone who actually looks for ways to HELP their child!....

Feel good about that part!

Brandy

 

[Lanshark]

I would get a private educational evaluation that could determine if there are any underlying Learning Disabilities.

I work with dyslexics but there is also a condition called dysgraphia. I have seen children with extremely high IQ's be totally unable to get words on paper. DD's boyfriend is one of them. Once you determine what's going on you can go to the school system to figure out the correct path. Don't rely too much on their evaluation. Many insurance companies will pay for a private eval.

Good Luck.

 

[my3kids]

I was thinking OT too. Often an occupational therapist can help with the actual mechanics required for writing.

Try to watch and see if he'll willingly draw with a pencil, or write numbers in math homework. If he won't do anything requiring the grasp and movements of writing, it might be a physical hand or arm small motor issue.

 

[MerryPoppins]

He doesn't have any trouble with the comprehension? Can he tell you verbally what he should write about in the written report? Is the act of writing hard for him? Is it a struggle to write the words?

I may be able to help a little. I'm sending you a PM. I have too many questions to list them all here.

 

[peg2001]

I think the goal needs to be to relieve the stress this little boy is under to perform in a way that he obviously finds very difficult to impossible.

Since you say that he can verbally explain a book, why not get him talking about the book and take dictation; YOU write it down. Then, when he is done, have him copy his own words. He has still done the work on his own but with an intermediate helpful step that you provide.

If it is actually forming the letters that is difficult for him, how about teaching him typing and letting him complete writing assignments on the computer?

Every child is different and if the child doesn't fit the assignment, the assignment needs to be molded to fit the child.

Peggy

 

[dbogen]

I actually have 2 llike yours, my 11yos(5th grade)_has tested for an LD and the school found nothing. what we do with him is let him type it on the computer. I would go nuts just trying to get a simple book report out of him. The other think we do is let him dictate to me and then copy it over in his own handwriting. That way it is his words (I don't correct his grammer without him selfcorrecting), I found this to be easier, he is learning the flow of writing without all the stress involved.
My 8 yos (3rd grade) was just diagnosed adhd and we are starting meds soon hopefully that will help his writing.

Good luck to you
Deanna

 

[kpgclark]

I have no experience with this problem, but could he dictate his report into a tape recorder? Perhaps after that he could then type what he has written. It sounds like your problem is much more complex than this, but perhaps it will get him out of his room today.

 

[Kimberle]

Have you had his eyes checked recently? Maybe he has a vision problem.

If that is OK, then I'd explore an independent evaluation.

Good luck!!

 

[disykat]

Yes! Another 9 year old boy. I just had him go through testing - nothing much was determined. In our case my son was a late talker, with the speech disorder apraxia. It has to do with the connection between the brain and getting speech out. His speech has been fine for several years, but the problems are resurfacing as he is expected to write. He also has some trouble with phonics and spelling.

I don't really have any advice because I feel like I'm living your frustration!

 

[melk]

Hi Jill,
No advice but spotted your thread and thought I would say "hi."
Hopefully on Monday the school will have some suggestions for you. Try and be patient until then (I know, easier said than done ).

 

[Otto's Doll]

Your son may have Dysgraphia. Please do a search on it, there is a very good website for LD and it will explain the symptoms of this. It is basically to writing what dyslexia is to reading. I have a 10 yo son that is a straight A student, very bright, but can not write well at all. He is in a tutoring class right now for it, and has made HUGE strides. Don't give up, I can totally relate to this problem. MY DD8 is showing slight symptoms of it, but DS 10 has it severely. The school will make the necessary modifications and then he will SHINE! And yes, it can be that his comprehension is fine, and he cannot write well. Not to brag (honestly) but my son is in 5th grade, but his math skills are way above this level, and he reads on a 8th or 9th grade level. This is all documented in his records. Please PM me with any questions, I have been there and know exactly how frustrating and tearful it all can be.

 

[Otto's Doll]

http://www.dyslexia-ca.org/dysgraphia.htm

Here is the link that I used most often to check it out. Again, anyone is free to email me or to PM me with any questions. We discovered it in 3rd grade (very typical) with both kids, and my 5th grader is doing excellent now.

 

[buzzlady]

I would agree to reading up on dysgraphia. Maybe you can discuss this in your meeting on Mon. My DS7 has a difficult time with his writing and is working with an OT. He also showed many signs of dysgraphia in the placement of his letters on the line and a few other things. I have been told that if YOU can make it through the 3rd grade (as a parent) you can make it through anything. I've made it through once and next year I will be going through it again. Good luck.

 

[firecracker]

I would only add that I think that pursuing private tutoring outside the school setting may bring quicker results.

My DD8 showed signs of difficulty in writing. She attends a small, private school that caters to kids who don't struggle academically. She was in danger of being left behind. In large public schools, kids like her fall through the cracks.

Don't settle for the free stuff your school is required to do for you/your DS like modifications. Your DS's teacher is already overworked and probably underpaid. (I'm allowed that rant b/c I'M a teacher too!) and it's hard to meet each child's needs completely. Yes, she should modify the work, but if he doesn't get help with the source of the problem, it won't get better. He'll just learn to ask for modifications. It can get better if he gets some tutoring...very few learning problems are beyond help.

Look for a private educational clinic in your area. We have one here in our area and they can do all sorts of diagnostic tests on your son...it was a godsend for us.

Our dd now enjoys writing and it's no longer a chore to get her to do it.

I'm glad you're an advocate for your son...there's plenty of help out there; don't settle until you're comfortable with the help he's getting!

 

[jsmith]

while the dysgraphia may be an issue it may be something far more simple-a developmental issue. He simply may not have the fine motor skills needed to write efficiently. It has nothing to do with his intelligence or anything else, it may just be very difficult for him to use a pen or pencil to form letters. Typing on the computer would be a solution to this problem-but please explore the other issues as well

 

[crazelion]

All man I know what you is feeling. I have write dyslexic. I can can't write to save my life. I fell english so many times at school until they finally test for a LD. i test poor in reading and write LD badly. I learn to read well but I read slower then other people. I never did learn to write well. No amount of tutoring help me I was that bad.

I excellent at math and science and computers. As matter of I can sit at any computer know how work it without reading the book.


Also i can't take a test either without almost fail it most time. It's not because I don't know the material but it's hard to put down on paper. They have give me my test orally for me to past them.

I have not got jobs just because I could not past there test i have take and they would not offer other alternatives.

I am really a genius.

I have a college degree and certifacte but it was very hard for me to get. The writing problem rear it's ugly head and I was put in the lowest level deveopmental English that they could found. I had a up hill battle with writing and spent all my time in the writing lab getting tutoring. I found the college campous has a LD office and I went to and got help about taking my test orally so I would not fail all my test. I worked good.

In college I hook with a person that did not understand math and computers for the life her. So I offer to tutor her math and computers and exhange for tutor me in English we made a tandem out it.

So a child that can't write worth anything can be successful. I might work a minium wage in the winter but when Summer comes I am a concession stand manager that use my math and computer skills to the full effect.



If wondering what my degree is in Information Systems End User Support. Basic a computer tech

If have any questions PM me I happy to answer them.

Yes that's why that some post don't make sense of the dis board.

 

[crazelion]

Oh my God i forgot to mention this program the comes with XP operating system called narrotor. All need is mic phone talk into and the computer type the words that comes out your month. He could do his report that.

I love this program. This have help my writing tremblesly.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

you've gotten some very interesting responses.

Yes I do have a son with writing problems. He has a physical hearing disability and was speech delayed. Writing is very difficult for him. Reading at the early grade levels was also difficult because he could not learn through phonics. I still struggle at times with teachers who insist on sending worksheets home with problems such as "circle all the words that sound like should."

Anyway, it became very clear to me when he was late 2nd grade early 3rd grade that he had tremendous difficulty getting thoughts from his head to paper. I was concerned because our State does a Writing Proficiency standard test in the 3rd grade and I knew he would be way behind state standards.

During the summer I bought a small workbook that had daily exercises. It began with simple instructions such as "make a shopping list for packing a lunch.... progressed stuff such as "a new student has entered your class, write appropriate instructions for how to eat lunch at your school - and then worked into writing letters and brief report. The exercises usually took him 15 to 20 minutes to complete and we fought through mega-whining sessions and made him stick with it. It helped him tremendously. He went to answering almost any essay question with replies like "It is good." to full blown thoughts. I also have him write frequent emails to Grandma, she likes that.

 

[janette]

Another vote for a full evaluation, it could be stemming from several problems. Many learning differences are easily masked until 3rd-4th grade. Within each group of learning differences there are degrees and different symptoms so it's really hard for anyone but a professional diagnostition to provide answers.

My youngest is dyslexic and something I've found is that because she didn't attempt to write when she was young by the time she did she knew that she didn't know how to put words together or spell. She would usually ask that I write it down for her and she'd copy what I'd written. She's in 3rd grade and only really started writting much at the end of last year. It is very hard to read some of what she writes but I'm thrilled that we've at least got her where she will try. Unlike many children with an LD her motor skills are very good, her handwritting isn't the problem it's the spelling and sentence structure.