Anyone else feel this way????

[mickeysdsnyprncs]

It all started with the thought of the dreaded upcoming holiday. Valentine's Day without a valentine. In all honesty I know that I don't have the time for anything right now, and I don't really want anything either. But this whole love day stuff gets me down. And then there was yesterday........

I have been having a hard time lately dealing with an ending of a past relationship and I was doing rather well for me until yesterday. When my supposed best friend decided that it would somehow make me feel better to tell me that the guy that I felt that I would spend the rest of my life with and I still had feelings for had just proposed to his new girlfriend who he has been dating for only 11 months (we dated for 3 1/2 yrs)

What do I do from here? I would have been better off not knowing. I don't know why I have been thinking about him so much lately, I haven't been with him since Sept of 02 so it has been over a year. And I have dated other people but I keep thinking back to him. Why do I do that? Ever felt like you just want to go far away? I know that would be running. And I won't do it but that's how I feel.

And I wanted to just involve myself in the DIS yesterday but my internet wasn't working.


What an emotional rollercoaster!! AHHHHHH!!!!

Ok thanks everyone for letting me vent.

 

[barbeml]

I've been there! Maybe this will give you a chuckle (black humor) and some perspective:

I was in almost the same position. Guy I thought was "the one" broke up with me. It seemed obvious he was not marriage material and it really was for the best, but it never feels that way at the time.

Fast forward to good friend telling me he is engaged. Hit me like a ton of bricks.

Fast forward to 5 years later, he is on trial for attempting to murder his wife. (I'm now happily married to love of my life).

As I write this, he is serving 12 years with no parole. Seems they got into a huge financial mess and he tried to kill her to get out of it. (Stabbed her three times). Sure glad I didn't wind up with him!

Anyway, my point is, things do happen for a reason. You just haven't met the person you are supposed to be with yet.

When I was unattached, I celebrated Valentines Day as a day for showing all the people I love that I care. Reaching out always helps me get over the pain inside.

Hugs and pixie dust to you!



Barbe

 

[DMickey28]

I understand how you are feeling. I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom for you as far as why we do that to ourselves. It takes time, especially when you feel so strong.

I know that in the past when I have dwelled on the past and went back to feelings for an old someone I felt worse but it also prevented me from moving forward. You can't look for your future in the past, it doesn't work that way.

I am sorry that I dont have wonderful words for you but you aren't alone and time will allow you to heal and let you look towards the future.

 

[FreshTressa]

I'm in a very very happy marriage, and sometimes I still think about the 'one that got away'. Sometimes I still hurt over past relationships.

I think no matter where we are in our life we think about these things, especially near a holiday like this.

I think you are doing a great job and doing what you need to do for you right now.

Who knows who will be waiting for you "just around the river bend!"

 

[Mishetta]

 

[mickeysdsnyprncs]

Thanks everyone. I just felt like I had no one to turn to beings that the one who told me was my "best friend"

OMG Barbe, that makes me look at it in a different way. The thing is I didn't have a extremely hard time when it happened, but maybe I was just in shock. It came out of the blue.

 

[mom2boys]

]When I was unattached, I celebrated Valentines Day as a day for showing all the people I love that I care. Reaching out always helps me get over the pain inside.

What an excellent idea!

 

[kimber79]

I know what you mean........the whole *winter scene* gets me down.

Nov. Thanksgiving (I know, it's more about family, but still a
a time to share with someone special)

Dec. Christmas (same as above)

Jan. New Year's

Feb. Valentine's

Hopefully one day our prince will find us!

 

[barbeml]

Sometimes things are sooo shocking or life moves sooo fast that we don't get through the whole "grieving" process. And let's be honest--even a breakup involves grieving. A person who was a huge part of your life is suddenly not there.

Have you ever heard of the "anniversary reaction" phenomenon? Sometimes, you feel upset or uneasy or depressed and don't know why. If you think about it, you may realize that it is the anniversary of a traumatic event that has not been dealt with completely.

"Closure" has become a cliche, but many times we need it to move on. It can be hard to get closure on your own, but sometimes I find it helpful to "write a letter" to the person I have the issues with and NOT send it. Putting thoughts and feelings down on paper can be cathartic.

Remind yourself that you have a lot of love to give, and then give it! Not just in a romantic sense. Love multiplies when it is shared.

Barbe

 

[cindysteve]

Heartache can be as painful as toothache! No matter how much or how deeply you cared for him, he doesn't have those feelings for you. Which means you deserve better. You deserve a man who loves you as much as you love him. It will happen one day. It just isn't today. Valentine's Day is a day like any other. Don't give it power to make you feel depressed. Go out and have fun with other unattached friends. Spend time with family. Buy your Mom or Dad a valentine. You will get over this guy, when your heart is ready.

 

[mickeysdsnyprncs]

Every year I spend all my close girlfriends Valentines, and all of my parents each one too (including step) and usually my little sister too. I love doing that kind of stuff I try to send them cards for every holiday. Even St. Patrick's Day (Even though I'm not Irish), Easter, Halloween and even Thanksgiving. I love sending cards. I like to hope when they get the card it brightens their day. (Although sometimes I wish I had a friend like me LOL) but I don't do it to get something back maybe a thank you but nothing else. This year I send out 13 cards. Wow. Thinking about those things helps. I am so glad that I posted this thread, because you have all been so helpful and thank you so much for that.

Someday my Prince will come. (I need the licence plate frame that says "Looking for Prince Charming" I already have the "Been there Done that Going Back"!!!!!)

Thoughts of Disney and other happy thoughts keep me from thinking about things. I try not to analyze it.

I still have a box full of pictures I haven't gone through because it is of a vacation I took w/ him. Don't know if I want to go throught them or not. I want the pictures it is when I went to Disneyland and a few other places out west but I just can't bring myself to go throught them yet. I guess in time right.

Ok. Ok. This is getting too long. Enough rambling. I am going to go now. Thanks again to everyone!!!

P.S. I am feeling a little better this evening.

 

[TigerBear]

(((hugs))) mickeysdsnyprncs. You should come join us on the singles thread. We have alot of fun over there!

 

[Xtine76]

I know how you feel-but hey at least you are dating other people-not something i'm able to do. So you are probably doing better than me.

 

[mickeysdsnyprncs]

Xtine76

I would like to say i am but until now I haven't even really told anyone how i feel about him, i was in denial even when I was dating others. Sometimes I think I dated other people to take my mind away from it. Anytime you need to talk pm me or whatever that's cool I understand it sucks but WE will both get through it!!

 

[barbeml]

Hey mickeysdsnyprncs--

Just wanted to see how you're doing. I hope yesterday turned out to be a good day for you.

Barbe

 

[mickeysdsnyprncs]

Yesterday turned out better than i thought. Today I am feelin it a little but hey it was all in good fun. Saw a lot of people that i haven't seen in awhile too.

Thanks everyone!!!!