Anyone else feel this way or live life this way ??

[pyrxtc]

Watching TV last night and news commercial came on about someone dying in some unnatural way or unexpectedly. Before I turned 21 yrs old, I had already lost all of my grand-parents, great-grandparents, and two of my uncles. Before I was 27, my baby brother lost his two best friends within 13 months. I know that you don't live forever and you never can tell what is going to happen tomorrow. I have an uncle now who was given less than 6 months last November, he is still hanging in there after 5 different kinds of cancer.

DH and I were talking about things we want to do and that will need to be done in the next few years. M van is getting up there in mileage and the kids are getting older. Our house is 203 yrs old and we would like to move in 5 yrs. I suggested that after our trips next year, we could sell our DVC and eliminate that expense. He just talked about how much we love going there and that it has been great owning it. It has and It's always something I wanted to buy into and finally did 3 yrs ago. I am also looking for work so I am not bored at home now that all my kids are in school.

I always have a trip or place I want to go and see. We both do. I would love to save for something big or unexpected but death is also so unexpected. I don't want to ever say, " I wish I did something." that I didn't do because I was saving for something I might need. I don't want to live for the future, I want to live for the now.

 

[tlbwriter]

Balance is important. I don't want to be one of those people who misses out on life because I'm so concerned with saving everything for the future. But I also don't want to be one of those people who gets to retirement age (or retirement health status) and says "Crud, I'm still alive? What am I going to do now?"

 

[wdwmom2]

I lost both my parents, grandparents, 1 sister, and 1 BIL by the time I was 30. So, yes, I do live for today, always planning some type of trip, taking lots of pictures, anything to make many happy memories.

This doesn't mean that I don't plan for the future, I do, it just means that nobody is guaranteed one.

 

[dodukes]

Yep. I'd rather have a good time now and be and see the people I care about then worry about stashing it all away for when can potentially not be in good health or dead! And to leave it to kids, what kids I dont have any so not worried there yet. With that said I do have a 401k account but I figure it will all figure itself out sooner or later.

 

[Hoodie]

It could go the other way. You could have something happen and can't do anything about it because you took a trip. You could be saying "if only I hadn't taken that European tour, I could afford the medication to keep me alive". Or, if something
happened to you, your kids could be wishing you had something in the way of assets/savings to help defer care/funeral costs. Personally, I'd like to know that my "estate" (such as it is...a ten year old car and some savings) could at least pay my debts and funeral costs so they don't burden my family.

You need to have some balance. Prepare for the unexpected (including a long life) and enjoy what you can. Or be prepared to never retire, no matter how old you get.

 

[Pigeon]

Nope, and I'm a cancer survivor, so you might think I'd worry about what I haven't done.

I think I'm more worried about the possibility of running out of money in retirement. I look at it this way, if there are still things I wanted to do and I died suddenly, well, I'd be dead. It's not like I'd be hanging around being sad about it.

 

[barkley]

i lost my dad when i was a teen. i had 2 strokes when i was barely 40, during a point when both my kids were still young (heck, one is still just a newbie teen).

i can say that when you are a kid mourning the loss of a parent, the last thing you need to be experiencing is (1) more drastic changes to your life, or (2) watching your other parent worry themselves sick over the financial impact of that person's death on those left behind. i can say that when you are undergoing a major health issue, not having to worry about being covered financialy and not having to watch your spouse making themself sick stressing over this can make a significant impact on your recovery.

i don't spend every day financialy planning out things to prepare for my furture, but i do/have taken steps to make sure that if something unforseen happens to dh or i, the survivor and our kids are taken care. for us this comes in the form of mortgage and life insurance. we make sure there's enough in the bank to cover unforseen expenses but we also save for fun stuff too (don't always know what it will be, but if something fun presents itself we may be able to do it sooner vs. later b/c the funds are already there).

we sold our dvc a couple of years ago. we enjoyed it when we had it, but we could'nt see paying the monthly dues when we were at a point that we knew we wanted to cut back on travel expenses anyway. i figure i can always rent points, and what i've saved in dues has gone a long way in paying for other fun things that we've been able to do much more frequently than we were able to find the time/shell out the airfare and associated costs to use the dvc properties.

 

[pyrxtc]

we both have life insurance and we have mortgage insurance, our mortgage is pretty low too since we live in a modest house. We have great credit rating and our only debt is our house. We pay cash for vacations but don't plan on buying our kids a car or paying for college for any of them. My DH each bought our own cars and paid for our own school. DH has a 401k and a great pension plan and stock.

My parents always said we would do a vacation later and we never did. I took my first vacation with my mother this past January. My life as a kids was home, friends, or families house when I wasn't in school. Took my first vacation when I was 28 yrs old. We just like spending time with the kids while they will still spend time with us. My dad has been putting away money to buy himself a new car for 12 yrs now and my Uncle told him the world will end in 2012 so my Dad isn't buying a car til after that in case the world does end. Ugh ! How can people live like that ?! I still can't get my dad to go on vacation with us although he is thinking about a cruise, maybe I can convince him of a Disney one.

It just stinks when something goes wrong in the house and that vacation money has to go toward repairs.

 

[Pakey]

I think about this on a daily basis.

I've had cancer twice; my life expectancy past 10 years is not very good. If I were to live a lot longer, we don't have enough money saved right now for our retirement while keeping same standard of living. The plan always was for us to put money into retirement up until we are both ready to quit working. But if I've only got 10 years left, what difference does it make and I should be living life, seeing the world, right? I love working and don't want to quit, but do I still put the planned amount away every year? Ten years of medical advances could change everything so do I plan for that?

We've done a lot of very expensive travel since I was first diagnosed almost 5 years ago, money that would have been added to our retirement. Just this year alone, I will have 3 Disney vacations, 2 weeks in China/Tibet and now another 2 weeks in Egypt coming up. I play this mental game of Beat the Clock, like I have to see the entire world before I go. One day I feel panic that I won't get everyplace on my list checked off and then the next day I panic I'll be 70 years old and unable to retire because I didn't put enough money aside.

My husband has said he thinks Egypt should be our last huge trip for awhile and my mouth tells him, sure, I agree, but then my head keeps mentally planning the next vacation.