anyone else disappointed with Valentines Day?

[pixiewings71]

call the spa, let them know you're not really comfy with what the GC indicates and see if you can use the credit towards other services. Like a mani or a pedi or even a facial. Personally I love going to the spa but I know not everyone feels that way. Please don't waste his gift, he thought of you and bought you something he considered nice, I hope you will use it, even if just for a mani/pedi.
My DBF got me some new clothes & lingerie from VS, he did really good too.....I'm wearing the most comfortable bra ever right now and he gave it to me today.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day (wife's choice), but if I got my wife a gift that was clearly meant just for her and her thoughts were that I did it just to avoid rubbing her hip, it might be the last gift that she ever received from me...

 

[Tarheel Tink]

I can totally understand being upset that he completely ignored your very clearly stated dislike of spas.

I've been married 30 years and DH would show up with red roses. I loved the thought but have never liked red roses. Any other color is wonderful but something about red ones turn me off (childhood trauma? ). I told him numerous times over the years about this (not at the time of the present) and yet they kept turning up red. At some point it gets insulting that your dislikes are being completely ignored- I pamper him to death and never prepare a food he doesn't care for.

Well, I finally lost it. It had become a running joke at work (here's the florist, oh no! Red!). I had to do a little flip out on DH saying "never send me flowers again because it just points how how little consideration you have to dismiss my dislikes and expect me to jump for joy that you care so little, blah, blah". It took that to finally leave an impression and on our 25th anniversary a beautiful bouquet of roses of every hue BUT red was delivered at work. My co-workers were almost in tears of laughter- we took photos and posed with them. I called DH and thanked him, thrilled that he grasped the meaning. He laughed in delight and said when he placed the order he told them NO RED and to note it for any future orders so he wouldn't slip up.

It had been like repeatedly getting chocolates for a diabetic and then copping an attitude because the gift was not appropriate, again and again. Do you EVEN KNOW me?!

 

[tinatark]

Ya know what I did? I made DH a list of gifts he can "always" get - Bath and Body Works stuff, Victoria's Secret, Tiffany and Co silver (not as expensive as you might think), a couple of other items - if he's stumped for a gift, those are some "go to" items I can always use, but they're still luxuries.

As far as Valentine's Day, he arranged flowers (tulips and others) in a vase for me, got me a box of chocolates (with first dibs on my favorites), and a card. We went to lunch after church today, and will be going out to dinner later this week.

 

[Tarheel Tink]

Ya know what I did? I made DH a list of gifts he can "always" get - Bath and Body Works stuff, Victoria's Secret, Tiffany and Co silver (not as expensive as you might think), a couple of other items - if he's stumped for a gift, those are some "go to" items I can always use, but they're still luxuries.

As far as Valentine's Day, he arranged flowers (tulips and others) in a vase for me, got me a box of chocolates (with first dibs on my favorites), and a card. We went to lunch after church today, and will be going out to dinner later this week.

Me too!
You Can Never Go Wrong With List:
bubble bath of any kind
Chanel #5
sugar-free chocolate!

You should have seen the dozen huge jugs of bubble bath I got for Christmas- some very creative wrapping went on (I guess he didn't think of gift bags,lol).

 

[minkydog]

Sorry, I agree with him.

What is about this ONE day where you think you need to be stuck together like glue? I just don't get the significance of a day on the calendar and why you have to spend a day together because it's February 14th. I think roses and chocolates were sweet gestures and thoughtful. It's no wonder that some men go crazy over this stuff. They can't win.

Does he treat you well every other day? Do you get to spend lots of quality time throughout the year? Does he listen to you? Is he your best friend? If so, you've got it made. Don't get hung up on a calendar day.

Me too. Valentines Day is just a made-up holiday designed to sell cards, flowers, expensive jewelry, candy and lingerie. A lot of guys feel pressured to give "the right gift" and many of them truly are clueless. I just don't get all the angst.

V-Day is just not a big deal at my house. Oh, DH & I get each other a small gift--this year I got him some favorite chocolates and he got me 3-lbs of walnuts I'm low-carbing, so I guees it made sense to him. He took me out to lunch on Thursday with a 2-for-1 coupon. I'm a real cheap date. This morning he left to drive down to Florida to see his elderly mother. Frankly, I have him every day. I'd much rather he be there. His mom is a frail 89yo widow lady who lives in a nursing home. I'm guessing her Valentine's Day was just *made* by her son's presense.

 

[DMickey28]

Have you ever been to a spa? I totally hear you on the spa thing BUT I was forced to go to one about a year and half ago, almost two years ago, and it was great. I picked a couple of services that I didn't think would wierd me out and I really enjoyed them. I would also KILL for a prenatal massage right now but don't want to stomach the money. I might have to look into it though ...

I am sorry the day was a dissapointment though. We never really do anything for V-Day short of maybe going out to dinner the week before or the week after and calling it a Valentine's Day dinner! This year DH told me he got me something which made me super nervous. His intentions are always in the right place but usually I'd prefer to spend the money elsewhere! He got me an Amazon Gift Card so that I can not worry about the amount of books I buy for my Kindle for a little while. I thought that was super sweet ...

We actually had a great day ... just as a family, not as a couple. We went to the mall, bought a new Over the Range Microwave on a GREAT Sale, walked around the mall with DS who actually behaved ALL DAY LONG ... took a nap, all three of us in our bed with Nascar (which DS apparently LOVES) on in the background and then I made a special dinner for my two Valentine's. It was a nice day ... Amazingly because usually the "expectations" ruin most holidays somehow!

 

[PrincessParty]

DH gave me a hands free device for my cell phone that clips on my car's visor. (He did actually listen to me talking about the Oprah making the car a text free one.)

He then made dinner for me. He made corn dogs, baked beans, macaroni and cheese, and mixed veggies. I did say "Thank you." I feel like I am 3, but he tried.

 

[minkydog]

That's hysterical. You gotta love a guy that cooks!

 

[emma'smom]

Consider yourself lucky!

I would have been thrilled with him even just saying "Happy Valentine's Day"...much less a card or gift. However...nada...nothing.....typical!

I'm sure I'll get the same thing for my birthday next week!



P.S. I've learned---I'm buying myself a birthday gift so at least I'll get something!

 

[Disney Doll]

Since DH is good to me every day of the year, I don't really feel like he needs to do a "command performance" every February 14th. But that's just me and I know I am not normal.

 

[hentob]

Since DH is good to me every day of the year, I don't really feel like he needs to do a "command performance" every February 14th.

Seems normal to me

 

[Magic Mom]

Since DH is good to me every day of the year, I don't really feel like he needs to do a "command performance" every February 14th. But that's just me and I know I am not normal.

That's how we are.

 

[nsalz]

Well I have been married 18 years...have a very loving relationship with my husband. I have never rec'd anything on valentines day from him...and every year, I feel disappointed. And yes, I have gotten him gifts. This year I wrote hime a peom that he loved. I know it is childish, but it is how I feel.

 

[mhsjax]

I don't get the big holiday deal either. My hubby doesn't buy me anything, he know better than to get me roses(what a huge waste of money). I prefer tulips anyway. I don't want dinner out, way too crowded.

My kids have a 4 day weekend, I am thrilled with that, no worries about getting up tomorrow and no homework over the weekend. We did go shopping yesterday, but we only spent money on the kids, they needed no shoes and clothes.

We spent today cleaning the house, I cooked dinner and then we played monopoly with the kids. It was very nice.

 

[DisMN]

To answer the original question....Nope, not disappointed in the day at all! Like many others here Vday isn't really anything special to us. We tend to be rather meh about it and don't really pay attention to when it is. As a matter of fact, we go out to eat on Sunday mornings and when we got to the restaurant we wondered why in the heck it was so crowded today! LOL LOL

I guess we just think of every day we're married as Valentines Day. Sounds silly I suppose.........LOL

 

[disney4us2002]

A husband is supposed to know his wife so when he chooses a gift for her it should not be something he knows she does not enjoy, or something that creeps her out. I think she has every right to be upset, he obviously didn't pay any attention to her when she talked about how she doesn't like spas. It wouldn't matter what holiday it is, or if he just gave it to her on a regular day, its not really about the gift.
......

This is what I'm thinking. I would be so hurt that my dh knew me so little or worse yet, knew my feelings but went ahead "for my own good". I guess we are past the sparing each other's feelings since we're celebrating 24 yrs together this year, but I would absolutely say, "No thanks. Please return that gift."

 

[ilovejack02]

PS, maybe I'm high maintainence but there are a few days a year I expect MY man to dote on me.

#1, MY birthday
#2, OUR anniversary
#3, Valentines Day
#4, Mother's Day

The rest of the year he can do as he pleases but if he wants ME to want him, then he must toe the line.

FYI, the other 361 days of the year DH gets very spoiled. I don't think 4 devoted to me is all that much to ask for and if so, too bad. That's just the way I am... before you feel too bad for him TRUST ME, he ain't complaining OP you are pregnant with his baby and I don't think it's unreasonable for you to expect a little TLC.. just don't expect it if you don't ask for it directly. Most men just aren't 'in tune' with this sort of thing by themselves, but the good ones will respond appropriately when asked directly. If this is what you wanted then say plain and clear, "I WANT --------".

I am with you on this! These are not the only days lol we show love, we do it on a daily basis, I am blessed with a good man. But these 4 days.. of the year he better amp it up a notch or two lol.

He has known this practically from the day we met and is he is happy to oblige . Happy wife happy life
I can't wait to use my spa certificate and my flowers are so pretty ! I made a huge lunch for him and he cleaned up my mess lol, which was sweet since that tends to be my job in the house.
He is also spoiled of course on this day too, he had all his favorites dishes , sent DS7 off with his
Godparents as a little surprise for some alone time and he got a cpl of presents.

Its been a good day, he is at work now and he just texted me earlier to say thanks so much

I know lots of you all sneer at this day, but we like it and will always celebrate happily .

 

[allison443]

Ha... my hubby is out hunting right now. He left at 5am. Its now 1pm. He went hunting friday, saturday, and now today, and probably tomorrow, since its a holiday and he doesn't have to work. He does this most weekends, which is pretty much the only time the kids and I ever have time to "visit" with him since he's the commanding officer of a basic training unit. And yes, I did say visit.

Can you tell I have some pent up resentment about it?

Well, maybe he's using the valentines present you bought him

Like you I am so not a spa person and I can see why you would be upset...my suggestion would be after you have the baby, take your older dd there for pedicures with you! Like a special girls day out.

 

[Hidden_Mickey]

My DH said from the beginning he hated the Hallmark aspect and would not participate. At first I didn't get it but now I do. I love roses but have told him in no uncertain terms NOT to get soaked buying them this week. Costco had large arrangements for $50, but they always have 2 dozen rose arrangements for $15. DUH, no brainer there. And I still don't want him to buy things that die! I don't like jewelry either. We used to go out for dinner, but not since we realized the Vday "specials" are a racket. I bought him and the kids each .99 cards and one package of their favorite candy. On Friday I point blank told him that his mission this weekend was to get me a triple chocolate donut from Dunkin Donuts at his leisure at some point during the weekend. No mincing words here, and I got what I wanted this am.

For those whose hubby just doesn't get it... It's the typical gift thing, and depends on your perspective. Some will tell you to be grateful for whatever you got, but in my opinion he should know you enough to know what you want. And it is your responsibility to tell him what you want, other wise you have no right to be disappointed that he can't read your mind. If he still continually disregards your wishes, I dunno what the next step would be. I mean, if it was a $20 gift from Bath & Body that you hated, well, it would still mean he wasn't paying attention, but at least it was only $20. When he spends $300, on something you don't like, that is another ball game. I mean, it's your money too, and you wanted a treadmill, AND talked about it. How dense can he be? I can understand your disappointment. I mean, did you say, "I would like a treadmill for Vday"? For $300, I would think he would want to get you something you would like, and I would tell him in no uncertain terms that you have no use for a spa certificate, and refer to the conversation from the other day. Like, why would you buy this AFTER I said I hated spas? I would try to return it or sell it to a friend.