anyone else dh not going?

[Lisa P.]

I can understand going without DH, when you have his wholehearted encouragement to have a great time while he'll be doing a guys' trip, because it was understood before you got married or because he wants you to go and enjoy Disney whereas he doesn't like it at all and you enjoy many other vacations and activities together.

But I would not feel good at all about what the OP has posted here.

Suppose you wanted to see Hawaii for the very first time, soon w/ your DH. But your DH has a chance to go with his relative (that you don't enjoy) soon and take your daughters, leaving you at home for work. You ask him to wait a few months until Feb so you could go with him then. Now, suppose he went ahead with the disliked relative and your children anyway. Wouldn't you feel left out and disregarded, second or third in line after DH's relative and after DH's desire to go on vacation with him in Hawaii? I would. Further, if this is any of your daughters' first visit to WDW, I would NEVER encourage you to let someone else see that while DH couldn't go at that time. That's a parent-child bonding thing IMO, even if this is a step-parent btw.

You may be sorely tempted to go to WDW sooner. Since your DH and your DM don't get along very well, you may feel torn loyalties. But your DH needs to know clearly that your greater loyalty is to him. If your DM wants you to enjoy a strong marriage, she'll understand. If she doesn't, her influence may not be in the best interests of your marriage in the long run. Pretty strong words, I know, but it's just my opinion - a stranger on the 'net.

 

[Nancyg56]

I can understand going without DH, when you have his wholehearted encouragement to have a great time while he'll be doing a guys' trip, because it was understood before you got married or because he wants you to go and enjoy Disney whereas he doesn't like it at all and you enjoy many other vacations and activities together.

But I would not feel good at all about what the OP has posted here.

Suppose you wanted to see Hawaii for the very first time, soon w/ your DH. But your DH has a chance to go with his relative (that you don't enjoy) soon and take your daughters, leaving you at home for work. You ask him to wait a few months until Feb so you could go with him then. Now, suppose he went ahead with the disliked relative and your children anyway. Wouldn't you feel left out and disregarded, second or third in line after DH's relative and after DH's desire to go on vacation with him in Hawaii? I would. Further, if this is any of your daughters' first visit to WDW, I would NEVER encourage you to let someone else see that while DH couldn't go at that time. That's a parent-child bonding thing IMO, even if this is a step-parent btw.

You may be sorely tempted to go to WDW sooner. Since your DH and your DM don't get along very well, you may feel torn loyalties. But your DH needs to know clearly that your greater loyalty is to him. If your DM wants you to enjoy a strong marriage, she'll understand. If she doesn't, her influence may not be in the best interests of your marriage in the long run. Pretty strong words, I know, but it's just my opinion - a stranger on the 'net.

That is how I feel, although everyone needs to do what is best for their family. I just know that while my DH would have been supportive if I chose not to wait for him he would have been hurt. This is not a choice I would ever make. In our family when we vacationed without DH I took the kids places he would not have wanted to see the light in their eyes for the first time.

 

[Picabo]

Well my husband has never been to Disney and IS going to go with us next year for our girls first trip...however I KNOW that if he is not WOW'd by the whole thing, I may NEVER get him to return. So I could be one who, down the line, goes with my girls on my own or with a friend. Personally, that would be ok with me as it would be mroe fun to not have someone there who doesn't want to be there in the first place.

For now (having never been) he doesn't understand the Hype about Disney and thinks it's all a rip off. I'm PRAYING he sees the magic in the kids eyes and becomes a fan too! As another person said...my husband requires more TLC than the kids many times. I have to plan my days so as to not overwhelm HIM b/c (again) I know if he hates it and it's all just pressure to be here and there at certain times...he won't ever want to go back.

That being said...if both you and Dh are ok with him missing their first trip, then I think it's fine. But if he feels left out of seeing the kids there for the first time...then I'd say wait to go. But if he's ok with it...then just enjoy your trip!

melanie

 

[mariahnlily]

i am going in august with my mom,sis,neice and bil because i want to experinece wdw with my mom and sis and now with our own children. dh does not want to go and frankly i do not want him to because of the forseable fights that would happen between him and my mom. i am paying for this trip he's giving me my spending $$$ and he is going to pay for the february trip so that's alright with me

 

[PEANUT1]

I've never felt luckier to be married to my husband than I do right now

 

[mariahnlily]

I can understand going without DH, when you have his wholehearted encouragement to have a great time while he'll be doing a guys' trip, because it was understood before you got married or because he wants you to go and enjoy Disney whereas he doesn't like it at all and you enjoy many other vacations and activities together.

But I would not feel good at all about what the OP has posted here.

Suppose you wanted to see Hawaii for the very first time, soon w/ your DH. But your DH has a chance to go with his relative (that you don't enjoy) soon and take your daughters, leaving you at home for work. You ask him to wait a few months until Feb so you could go with him then. Now, suppose he went ahead with the disliked relative and your children anyway. Wouldn't you feel left out and disregarded, second or third in line after DH's relative and after DH's desire to go on vacation with him in Hawaii? I would. Further, if this is any of your daughters' first visit to WDW, I would NEVER encourage you to let someone else see that while DH couldn't go at that time. That's a parent-child bonding thing IMO, even if this is a step-parent btw.

You may be sorely tempted to go to WDW sooner. Since your DH and your DM don't get along very well, you may feel torn loyalties. But your DH needs to know clearly that your greater loyalty is to him. If your DM wants you to enjoy a strong marriage, she'll understand. If she doesn't, her influence may not be in the best interests of your marriage in the long run. Pretty strong words, I know, but it's just my opinion - a stranger on the 'net.

maybe i should have made myself more clear he can go but he does not want to because of various reasons($,mom and work but mainly mom)this is his choice not to come and if he wants to not join because of my mom then that is on him. He could take time off of work granted we would lose two weeks of money because he does not get paid vacation. i myself would never let some other person in my family or his interrupt any experience with my children. also i am getting to do disney twice and hell why not. also going with my mom and sis is why i am able to take this trip in the first place its affordable. what may work for your family may not work for mine.

 

[mrs_noopie]

DH came during DD's first trip to WDW last Oct, but...

My SIL's husband refuses to go to any amusement park (they have three kids 5 and under). So, we took a husband-free trip last Feb. SIL says she wants to do it again this coming Feb - and I'm all for it!

 

[dzneelvr]

There are family dynamics that make taking seperate vacations perfectly appropriate. I agree with the poster that as long as the communication is good and the decision is liked by all parties, since kids are involved, then GO FOR IT! I wish all those families who are screaming at each other and/or having nasty meltdowns in public at WDW would have taken the time to think about that option before they left home.

 

[Lisa P.]

i am going in august... because i want to experinece wdw... now with our own children.... he's giving me my spending $$$ and he is going to pay for the february trip so that's alright with me

he does not want to because of various reasons($,mom and work but mainly mom)this is his choice not to come and if he wants to not join because of my mom then that is on him. ....what may work for your family may not work for mine.

So, he doesn't want to lose work/$ to spend his vacation with his disliked MIL? And he's asked you to wait until Feb when he could go as a family with you, his wife and see your children's first Disney experience together? And he's willingly giving you some spending money for this trip, though it doesn't work for him. And... paying for the next one.

What's that commercial say? ... "Give that man a Klondike Bar!!!"

Just as a little aside... Years ago, I'd have completely stressed out in anticipation of a vacation with the inlaws. When DH was with them, he was simply less loving toward me. That's the whole torn-loyalties thing. Thankfully, we're a team now and others are the outsiders. But anyway...

Have a great time at Disney, Trish. I hope you know that your DH is going above and beyond what most people (both husbands and wives) would want to do. You're fortunate.

 

[Disneymom2kiddos]

I've never felt luckier to be married to my husband than I do right now

That's exactly how I feel at this moment.

We ALL love the magic of Disneyworld.

 

[mariahnlily]

thanks!! he has not asked me to wait until february to go with him he says go have a good time and we'll go back over the winter given that he does not get laid off but given the recent economy he might and i would have waited to go on a trip that didn't happen. so i am super excited to go on vacation with my mom who is a wdw fanatic since my dad is not here to join us and he was also a wdw fanatic.

 

[PIERCEDRN]

I've never felt luckier to be married to my husband than I do right now

Yeah, I do kinda rock don't I.
You are not so bad yourself yourself, my sexy disney freak.
Your Hubby