Anyone a young mom? Help please.

[sprinkles_]

I made a new username for this, because I'm not ready to tell people in my life yet and I don't want them finding out. I'm 21 and I just found out that I'm pregnant. I haven't been to the doctor yet, but I'm pretty scared already. I don't really have any specific questions, but did any of you go through this too? I just feel like I need to talk to someone but the only person who I've told (so far) is my boyfriend.

 

[SaraJayne]

Yes, I was 21 when I found out I was pregnant.

PM'ing you.

 

[worm761]

I was all of 19 years old when I got pregnant with my DS. I had also just broken up with his biological father. If you feel the need to talk to anyone, feel free to PM me. I love my son but it wasn't always an easy journey. He is now 14 years old. I knew shortly after I found out I was pregnant that I would be a single parent. What I didn't know is some of the curve balls that life and parenthood would throw at me.

 

[SaraJayne]

I made a new username for this, because I'm not ready to tell people in my life yet and I don't want them finding out. I'm 21 and I just found out that I'm pregnant. I haven't been to the doctor yet, but I'm pretty scared already. I don't really have any specific questions, but did any of you go through this too? I just feel like I need to talk to someone but the only person who I've told (so far) is my boyfriend.

What was your boyfriends reaction?

My "surprise" turns 14 next week.

 

[Scurvy]

I made a new username for this, because I'm not ready to tell people in my life yet and I don't want them finding out. I'm 21 and I just found out that I'm pregnant. I haven't been to the doctor yet, but I'm pretty scared already. I don't really have any specific questions, but did any of you go through this too? I just feel like I need to talk to someone but the only person who I've told (so far) is my boyfriend.

I'm sorry you're scared. I know this must be a very stressful situation for you. Which part/parts are you scared about? Just the pregnancy in general, or telling people when you aren't married, or being pregnant at your age or something else? Any one of those things can be pretty intimidating, so it's no wonder you're scared but it really will be okay. From your post I assume this was unplanned (forgive me if that isn't the case) and I imagine it's a bit of a shock. Is your boyfriend being supportive?

I can weigh in on the age part, if that's one of your concerns. I was only a little older than you when I had my son, and I think it's worked out very well. I feel like we are closer than we might have been if I'd waited until I was older to have him. We have lots of the same interests and enjoy spending time together.

 

[sprinkles_]

I was all of 19 years old when I got pregnant with my DS. I had also just broken up with his biological father. If you feel the need to talk to anyone, feel free to PM me. I love my son but it wasn't always an easy journey. He is now 14 years old. I knew shortly after I found out I was pregnant that I would be a single parent. What I didn't know is some of the curve balls that life and parenthood would throw at me.

Thanks .

What was your boyfriends reaction?

My "surprise" turns 14 next week.

He took it pretty well actually, I'm lucky in the sense that it happened with the same person it would have in the future. I think he's taking it better then I am because even though we're the same age I'm still in school and he's been working since almost right after high school.

I'm sorry you're scared. I know this must be a very stressful situation for you. Which part/parts are you scared about? Just the pregnancy in general, or telling people when you aren't married, or being pregnant at your age or something else? Any one of those things can be pretty intimidating, so it's no wonder you're scared but it really will be okay. From your post I assume this was unplanned (forgive me if that isn't the case) and I imagine it's a bit of a shock. Is your boyfriend being supportive?

I can weigh in on the age part, if that's one of your concerns. I was only a little older than you when I had my son, and I think it's worked out very well. I feel like we are closer than we might have been if I'd waited until I was older to have him. We have lots of the same interests and enjoy spending time together.

To be honest I think at this point I'm most scared about telling people, especially my parents and his parents. We'll be okay financially, not great but okay atleast, so that isn't a huge concern at the moment. I just feel overwhelmed about it all, it's hard to point out exactly what it is.

My age is still a concern for me, but I think only because like I said I'm still in school. I'm not one to party a ton, so no big loss there, so I guess it all comes down to worrying about everyone else in my life (which is kind of strange, putting it in writing).

 

[SaraJayne]

Thanks .



He took it pretty well actually, I'm lucky in the sense that it happened with the same person it would have in the future. I think he's taking it better then I am because even though we're the same age I'm still in school and he's been working since almost right after high school.



To be honest I think at this point I'm most scared about telling people, especially my parents and his parents. We'll be okay financially, not great but okay atleast, so that isn't a huge concern at the moment. I just feel overwhelmed about it all, it's hard to point out exactly what it is.

My age is still a concern for me, but I think only because like I said I'm still in school. I'm not one to party a ton, so no big loss there, so I guess it all comes down to worrying about everyone else in my life (which is kind of strange, putting it in writing).

I know exactly what you are going through and feeling. I was a full time student too...and I did eventually finish ~ though my son was almost 4 years old when I graduated from college.

It will be tough for a while (both financially and emotionally) but I promise it gets better.

 

[punkin]

I got pregnant at 25. Slightly older than you and married. However, I was still in school at the time, and managed to graduate only because I had an enormous amount of support from my family. Good luck to you OP.

 

[njmom47]

I became a Grandma on 10/11/10 and my daughter was only 18 when her dd was born. It was not an easy road for her and the people around her. Some have been super supportive (our immediate family and her bf's family, who is still very much in the picture), the "elders" in my family have not been. My dd found a support group through a local church organization and they have been WONDERFUL. She has also made a couple of friends who are young and have gone/are going through this. This support group has supplied education, have helped her set up appointments with necessary places, and counseling, both individual and group. My dd just turned 19 the other day so she is a bit younger than you. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like, as we (in our house) have just gone through this.

 

[Scurvy]

To be honest I think at this point I'm most scared about telling people, especially my parents and his parents. We'll be okay financially, not great but okay atleast, so that isn't a huge concern at the moment. I just feel overwhelmed about it all, it's hard to point out exactly what it is.

My age is still a concern for me, but I think only because like I said I'm still in school. I'm not one to party a ton, so no big loss there, so I guess it all comes down to worrying about everyone else in my life (which is kind of strange, putting it in writing).

My husband and I were in school when our son was born. He was a graduate assistant finishing up his thesis and I was finishing my bachelors degree. It took a bit of arranging to work out childcare but it was fairly easy. Overall our lives didn't change much at all - we weren't big partiers, either.

About telling people - look at it this way, you will only have to tell them once and then that will be over with and they can accept it or not. If they care about you, they will only want you to be happy and they will come to accept your decision and support you in it.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I was 18 when I got pregnant with my DD, 19 when I had her. I was married but BROKE, so you are ahead of use there. You can for sure PM me as well if you want to talk. It will be OK, life has a way of working itself out. And if you DBF is who you would have the baby with in the future, you are pretty blessed there.

 

[SaraJayne]

I got pregnant at 25. Slightly older than you and married. However, I was still in school at the time, and managed to graduate only because I had an enormous amount of support from my family. Good luck to you OP.

Support is essential. I leaned on DH more than anyone else.

Some days we traded leaning.

 

[akcire]

I made a new username for this, because I'm not ready to tell people in my life yet and I don't want them finding out. I'm 21 and I just found out that I'm pregnant. I haven't been to the doctor yet, but I'm pretty scared already. I don't really have any specific questions, but did any of you go through this too? I just feel like I need to talk to someone but the only person who I've told (so far) is my boyfriend.

When my husband's little sister told me she was pregnant at 17, before she told anyone else. Here is the advise I gave her.

Start taking an over the counter prenatal vitamin now, it can't hurt you. No matter what happens. (You can buy them for less than $10 at a discount store).

Schedule an appointment for a doctor or clinic, when you are ready. (You may also qualify as a student for state-funded medical services--you will have to research your situation).

Don't worry about telling people until you are ready, no one will "know" for a couple months.

Remember people have been having babies for a long time, you will be fine.

Advised that pregnancy did not mean she had to marry the father.

Gave her information about social services she would qualify for WIC, etc.

At her request we also talked extensively about adoption. I did not "encourage" it (did not think it my place to influence) but I did give her any facts she requested about the process.

All the choices she made were her own. She decided who to tell, when to tell them, and ultimately what to do with with the baby and her life. We just provided her information and support of her decisions.

**Note I didn't tell you what she decided, those are your decisions to make**

 

[SadieDog]

I was 19 and in college when I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend (now husband) was supportive. We were living together at the time. We came to terms with it and became excited about our baby and future. That is when we decided to tell my mother. My mother was not supportive and acted like it was something to hide and be embarrassed about. I should not have been surprised by her reaction because she was normally unsupportive. However, I allowed her reaction to bring me down. We were excited and about to announce our news to my relatives at my grandfathers b-day party. My mothers unpleasant remarks and saying over and over again "don't tell anyone, don't tell anyone" made me upset and not make our announcement. Later I was mad at myself for allowing her to get to me and we regretted not making our announcement. Why am I telling you all this? If you come accross anyone who has unpleasant comments, please don't let it bring you down. Surround yourself with those who are positive and will support you. Like MickeyMomOfThree, we were also broke so you are ahead of us on that too. Please feel free to PM if you want to talk.

 

[aaarcher86]

I was a few months shy of 20 when I had my first and 21 when I had my second. It's scary - I think that's natural.

I will say, I think the moment I told my mom I was pregnant a HUGE weight had been lifted. She told everyone else in the family for me so I didn't have to feel the pressure about that.

 

[MamaJessie]

I was 19 when I found out I was pregnant with my dd. It was a rough road for me and DH (at that time DBF) for awhile but all worked out GL!

 

[Mommy2cody]

I was 18 when I got pregnant with my son. Just graduated high school and starting my first year of college. I was already broken up with his dad and when I told him I was pregnant, he just cut me out completly. I have great parents who were there for me but I did it all myself. They didn't pay for anything or watch him while I went out. I raised my son!!! It was hard, sometimes REALLY hard. But I did it and I wouldn't change it for anything! My son is almost 10 now!! He is my whole world!!

 

[Mickeyluver37]

DH and I decided to get married as soon as he graduated high school. We had only been dating 6 months and he had already obligated himself to the Army before we met. When it came time to leave, it seemed logical to get married so I could follow him when he was done with this schooling. It's a good thing too, because in those few days between marrying and him leaving, I became pregnant with DD. I of course didn't find out until he was gone, and I cried and cried until I could talk to him. (He was in basic training and could only call on Sundays! It was torture!) We were both only 18 and I had at least wanted to graduate college before thinking about kids. We got used to the idea pretty quick though, and prepared to be parents. Neither of our families were thrilled about either the marriage or the baby at first, but got used to the idea and were ultimately supportive.

Luckily by the time I had DD, we were settled at our first duty station and living in military housing. While DH's E-3 salary wasn't making us rich, it was plenty for our little family to live on, while I kept plugging away at college. We certainly were living much better than our friends who were away at college and living under their parents rules.

DS came 2 years later, so I had TWO kids by the time I was your age. DH had advanced a couple ranks and I continued to be a SAHM. I actually really miss those days. Life seemed so much simpler then.

We had our third right after my 30th birthday. I honestly don't think child rearing is any easier at this age. Now we both have our Bachelor's degrees (Dh is a few credits away from his Master's) and our careers and we're running in three different directions after work. And if I could have seen a glimpse of where I am today, when I was 18, I wouldn't change a thing.

I think you are shocked now, but it sounds like you and bf want a future together- it may be a little earlier than you planned, but it can all work out for the best.

 

[Mrs. Darcy]

One of my friends was in your situation. She spoke to her priest about if first, well after she told her boyfriend. She was petrified to tell her parents. The best advise her priest gave her I think was to not portray herself as a "girl" when she told her parents, but as a "woman". Meaning calm down, try not to cry when she told them and just think about the precious baby she was carrying. Her parents did pick up on her mature attitude, that this was unplanned but that she and her boyfriend would do all they can to be great parents. They weren't happy, but they got over it because they saw how well she was handling it (in their presence at least). She didn't give them a chance to bash her because she acted like a grown young woman instead of a "bad girl".

I'm so glad some of the ladies here with experience have offered to speak with you privately. And congratulations! In time you'll feel soooo much better about it and be looking forward to your bundle of joy! God bless you.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

I made a new username for this, because I'm not ready to tell people in my life yet and I don't want them finding out. I'm 21 and I just found out that I'm pregnant. I haven't been to the doctor yet, but I'm pretty scared already. I don't really have any specific questions, but did any of you go through this too? I just feel like I need to talk to someone but the only person who I've told (so far) is my boyfriend.

I found out I was pregnant with DD a few weeks shy of my 20th birthday. In all honesty I wasn't scared about raising a child, I was more scared of telling my parents, finances, and actually giving birth. My parents were upset at first, but they have been so supportive. Fiance and I had been together for a year but I've known him since I was 14.
We are finally getting married in August my major goal was to finish up college b/c I knew it was something I would regret if I never did it, so I finished up last December w/ a degree in Special Ed/Psychology. DD will be 6 (my how time flies) on Saturday.
It hasn't been easy, but we've made it work. Everything will be fine, just stay positive, take care of YOURSELF (take those vitamins, pamper yourself, rest, eat right, drink water, etc), and surround yourself with positive people who support you. Being scared is natural, this is a whole new role you are about to take on, one that you've never experienced. You'll be fine, stay strong!