Anybody sad this Chirstmas?

[MeanLaureen]

This has been a very difficult Christmas for me.

Work has just been extremely stressful and demanding. They have dumped a lot of mess on us from corporate and then they turned around and all took the next 2 weeks off.

This my Mom lost both her brother and sister. Her brother died during the time we were struggling through hurricane Isabelle. Her sister a month later. I never had the time to grieve. I'm still in a state of shock probably. I haven't shed a tear yet and it scares me. It did hit home when it was time to address Christmas cards and I realized that I no longer have an aunt and uncle (their spouses died 3 yrs ago)

My most faithful dog died this year after a battle with an unidentified autoimmune disease. Like my other deaths in the family - I don't think I grieved like I need to.

My Mom's health is going downhill even though she is only 74. She has been diagnosed with Parkinsons. She lives with DH Obi-Wan and me. She is the type of personality that likes to be in the spotlight and have everyone cater to her. This is making it even more demanding. She doesn't take in account for the fact that I am very ill myself.

Add into this whole equation that I'm closing in on 4 yrs in constant pain. My AOSD has been at it's roughest during the last 6 months. The last 3 weeks I have literally been crying myself to sleep. The medicine I'm on helps somewhat during the day but doesn't do squat when I'm getting ready to sleep. The other day when it was really rough, I woke up the next morning and the lines that crinkle when you are in pain (make a face like you hurt really bad and you will see what I'm talking about) were deeply imbedded in my forehead. I must have been hurting even while I slept but just managed to sleep through it.

Because of my AOSD my life has been reduced to going to work for 10 hrs a day, coming home and going to bed by 7:30 because I hurt so bad and I'm exhausted.

Add into that that my house is such a mess because I don't have the energy to clean it up and my DH and DM won't even pick up after themselves no matter how much I nag.

I really don't feel like a human being anymore. I don't feel like celebrating anything. Basically my life is just concentrating on making other people happy - because I know that right now I'm never going to find a way to make myself happy.

Well... that's enough of a pity party for me. It was nice to get it off my chest though. Thanks for "listening"

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Reading these posts sure helps put some things in perspective.

Found out last Friday (great timing, huh?) my mom has a tumor on her spinal cord at the base of her skull. It's a very "good news/bad news" type of situation. Getting a 2nd opinion in January, and praying for the best.

{{{hugs}}} to everyone who is hurting.

 

[gina2000]

My heart goes out to each and every one of you who are hurt, scared or upset this Christmas season. I wish for you joy and peace...and the strength to deal with the burdens you have revealed.

My thoughts and prayers are with all of you, your families and your friends.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

Ok, even though I vented on my own thread, yes, I am sad this holiday.

Selfishly, I am sad because this is the 3rd holiday that DH has been out of work and this situation is just out control and has been going on way too long, so I'm at the point where I don't know what we should do. Being selfish, I love getting presents at the holidays, but at the same time I don't want him to spend money that we don't have. So I get kind of torn.

I'm also sad because I love the holidays and had hoped that by now we would have a family. As many of you may know, we had to fire our adoption attorney a few weeks back and now we are back to square one. To top it off, someone I went to high school with had her 3rd child baptized on Sunday at church. She's always been snotty and never comes to church (even when her children are participating with the choir or some other event), and she walked in like she owned the place. And I was jealous as heck. I love our church at the holidays, but it pains me when I see all those children and babies and I don't have one.

Finally, I'm sad because financially at my job, it's been a bad year and alot of the pressure comes down to me. Most days I feel like my boss (who I used to love) doesn't like me and I wonder if I'm going to have a job in 2004.

Ugh...I sound like a sad sack Grinch.

Time for a joke...

Knock Knock

(Come on...say it...Who's There?)

Boo

(Boo Hoo).

Don't cry, it's Christmas time!

 

[Puffy2]

AnnieandHalliesMom,
Love the joke!

GINA 2000, is that YOU????
Do I have the right GINA? DVC member, right? ...illuminations cruise?

MeanLaureen (what a pen name!) what is AOSD ?; I'm not familiar.
Have you asked your doctor about a pain clinic? Sometimes the clinics that specialize in pain control are a whole lot better than just one doc.

 

[Mskanga]

I think being I became used to being sad on holidays like this years ago after my biological father died , and then 15 years ago when I moved to the US I left all my family behind overseas. I miss not having the family get togethers. We used to get together with dh's family here but truthfully I did it for dh and my kids, to have some sense of family. They died almost 2 years ago and I haven't spoken to the rest of the inlaws since then , I don't feel like talking to people who only take take take from us , and then they tell me when there's something to be given , that I am not family. My kids are better off not having any family , than to have a family who will only take from them, like they take from other family members.
We will be home alone on Christmas day, but we have always been home Christmas day, that's something we started before we even had kids.
As you can tell , dh's family is not close knit at all, actually I do not think they know what that means, so dh has never been close to them at all, I used to be the one pushing to go to their family gatherings. Not anymore.
Now we stay home , nice and quiet, enjoy the day with our family, call everyone on the phone and talk to them in Spain.

 

[gina2000]

Tis me, Puffy. Not a DVC owner....but in the flesh....

I sent you a PM!

 

[barbeml]

Yeah, I'm a bit sad this year.

As my SIL put it the other day, this year's toll really hit home when we were writing Christmas cards. My uncle died of lung cancer in February. My grandmother died at 98 in March--she had a long and good life, but this is our first Christmas without her. My Step-Grandfather died of lung cancer in June. My husband's Nonna died in Italy in March. My SIL's Dad has cancer and we just learned that it has spread.

It really puts things in perspective for me. However, despite all the obvious signs that life is short and precious, people around me still find reasons to pout, sulk and complain about the Christmas plans (I am the starter of the "Who else wants to divorce the whole family for Christmas?" thread), even tho I am doing all the work and all they have to do is show up and enjoy it.

Next year I just want to run away to WDW and spend Christmas with the Mouse.

I hope all of you find reasons to feel joy in your hearts tonight and tomorrow. I intend to focus on my wonderful husband, the best gift I have ever received.

Barbe

 

[lisalynn]

Count me in amongst those who are feeling blue this Christmas. My mom is rapidly declining with Lewy Body Syndrome (a combination of Parkinson's & Alzheimer's). I last saw her in October (I live 800 miles away) and it was so hard having her not even recognize me. The Holidays are especially tough now, because she was the one who always went out of her way to make them extra special. My FIL passed away in June also, so it's been a pretty tough year. Am trying to "act as happy as I can" for my 2 DD's sake, but it's tough. Am hoping that 2004 brings brighter days.

to everyone needing extra ones this year & hoping for happier days for everyone soon!

 

[JAP]

Feeling a little sad but also very grateful for what I do have and lucky that I still have lots of healthy loved ones in my life.

{{HUGS}} for those of you sad this year. Now my joke which was made up by my DD:

Knock knock!


Who's there?


Cheese!


Cheese who?







Cheese you got some stinky feet!!

LOL again made up by my 6 year old DD!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and Yule Blessings to you.

 

[HoneyPooh]

I'm sad every Christmas, and every year it seems to get worse. I'm finding it harder and harder. My mom has been gone for 8 yrs and because she went into the hospital on Christmas morning it's ruined my Christmas every year since(especially since Christmas was her favorite time of year and she went out of her way to make it special). My dad has been gone for three years and I miss him terribly. My husbands brother died unexpectedly in October of this year (no health problems but he died in his sleep at 50 yo) and both his parents are in very bad health in addition to depression over it, they have pretty much given up which is scary. That means my hubby's family is not very into Christmas this year. On top of all that my best friends mom (who was my mom's lifelong best friend) died last weekend. I feel like I lost my mom all over again and I feel so bad for my friend. Our solace is that our moms are finally together again having the best cup of coffee they ever had (my dad is making it for them). Bummer, now I'm crying again. Thanks for letting me get a little of it out of my system. My hubby says we'll go away for a weekend after the holidays and try to get our act together a little. I REALLY need it!

 

[Towncrier]

I'm a bit sad this Christmas, but I only have myself to blame. Our church built a brand new sanctuary in which to worship. Unfortunately, the architects refused to listen to us when we voiced concerns over the acoustics of the new space. They assured us that everything would be fine. Were they ever wrong. Since I am (or should I say was) primarily in charge of the sound system, the blame for bad sound has been laid firmly on my shoulders. I find it now impossible for me to worship at the church where I have been a member for nearly 20 years.

Christmas Eve has held special meaning to me ever since I first saw my DW Sue at a Christmas Eve service in 1984. Whenever I would call her on the telephone, her dad would yell out "Sue. The phone's for you. It's Mr. Christmas Eve." Even now that brings a smile to my face even though her dad has long since passed away.

I was supposed to be the lay reader at this evening's Christmas Eve service. And I was supposed to add my voice to the chancel choir. I especially love the hymns that we sing around Christmas time. But last Sunday, I sent a letter of resignation to the church office. I don't feel welcome at my church anymore. So my darling wife will be lay reader this evening. My daughter will be playing clarinet with a quartet. Both my son and daughter will be playing handbells. And I won't be there. I can't be there.

My problem is of my own making and pales in comparison to the real problems that the rest of you are feeling this holiday season. Hugs to all who are feeling down this Christmas.

 

[Pooh93]

I'm actually okay this Christmas, but have been sad many Christmases in the past. I've been at the point I couldn't stand to listen to any type of Christmas music or it would make me cry.

{{HUGS}} to all who are hurting. It will all be over soon.

 

[joats]

You all made me cry!!
I'm so sad to read so many of you are struggling through the holidays.

I've been feeing weepy lately for a bunch of stress related reasons: I'm starting a new job, DH may be losing his job, In-laws moving to VT, etc. But I think the kicker was finding out my father who I have not spoken with in over a year (for very good reasons) has prostate cancer and is not responding well to treatments. I do not wish to reconnect with him on any level, but just kinda feeling odd about the whole thing. There I said it, it does bother me about my father even though I'm telling people I don't care.

Anyhoo, please know that there are a lot of thoughts, prayers and Pixie Dust being sent out to all of you!

joats

 

[Puffy2]

We need more jokes!

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

You (s)neak up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

Tame way.

 

[Melora]

Im crying as write so I guess Im sad....

I LOVE the holidays and have so much to be thankful for... but my DH of 6 years is always sad/mad/upset at this time of the year. He was adopted into a family that loosely celebrated Hannakuh. They lighted a Menorah but gave gifts on Xmas day and had Hannakuh Bush. (Jewish Christmas Tree I believe hubby called it). His first wife was Jewish so once again he celebrated Hannakuh but did not enjoy it. (Probably because of the probs he and his ex had). When he divorced and met me he seemed so excited to celebrate Christmas. He couldnt wait buy a tree and put up lights. The first 2 years his ex made this big deal about us lighting the menorah at our house for this 2 kids but I could tell he was resentful about her forcing it on him. (I had no problems with it). After the 3rd year he no longer cared about making nice with her and said he had no feelings about lighting the menorah so that was the last year we did it. Every year I asked if he wanted to and he said he had no happy memories with it. His parents dont even do it any more....

I know he feels sad that he has no good memories of the holidays or happy times associated with them. I keep trying every year to create our own traditions and special times but it is hard because he tends to be so.. well GRUMPY! as Christmas day gets closer. Every year I think he does better and I feel as our son (3) gets older he will be happier each year. With his 1st 2 kids, the holidays were all about getting gifts.. 100s of gifts... and Im not exaggerating... they each got about 10 gifts each night and then got gifts from relatives... to this day they really arent too excited about the holidays because they get stuff all year. One year my step son got a bike in November... I asked his mom why would buy him a bike now so close to the holidays? He wanted it now and didnt want to wait she said. Thats the kind of mentality this lady has. My son (8) has wanted a bike for the past 4 months and boy will he be thrilled when he gets one on Christmas morning... That to me is what the holidays are all about..the waiting..the desire..the anticipation... my step kids have none of that, if they want it they get it right away..OK sorry for that tangent, but that is also what makes Dh sad....

I hope that each year gets better.

My mom also makes the holidays hard. She has end stage Parkinsons and is SO bad off. But thats an entirely different story..and not a short one at that.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

I am down. I shouldn't be. I have so many blessings. But, I realized this would've been Gabrielle's first Christmas (as she was due the first part of January. I know, there are a few people who think I should "just move on", but it is very hard. Also, being off work with Olivia's birth has put a bit of a damper on the money issue.

However, So many others are worse off than me. After reading of the loss of Nathan Page yesterday, my heart is breaking more for them than for me. So, blessings to those of you who are hurting more than me as well as those hurting less than me.

I am praying that I will be more able to recognize all my blessings rather than the struggles as the New Year approaches.

(Probably a little post-partum depression being dealt with, too! How long does that last anyway?? )

Blessed Christmas and happy holidays to all!

 

[Manda1219]

Snowwark, Bi-polar can be really tough, I know because I have a lot of family with it...If there's anything I can do to help, let me know. I'm in a support group called NAMI, they're very helpful, they have a website, just search yahoo for it, they are nationwide....Good luck and God Bless

 

[C.Ann]

Forgot to add my joke!! My granddaughter learned this when she was 18 months old and just cracked us up!!

Why is six afraid of seven ???????








'Cause seven "eight" nine !!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Towncrier]

I forgot my joke to. Ok. Here goes. Remember that you asked for it.

Q: What time of day do you most need a dentist?

A: 2:30 (tooth-hurty)