Anybody out there a Morman? A question

[missypie]

DD12 made a friend at middle school who is a Morman. DD's friend (also 12) is not allowed to participate in sleepovers. Is that Morman thing, or are her parents just being protective? We are Presbyterian-type Christians, so I can't imagine that anything that happened at our house would seem too wild to the girl or her family, but is there anything I should know?

 

[jgmklmhem]

Being a non-Mormon living in Utah I can give some perspective but not any hard core facts. From what I have seen sleepovers are not the problem because they do have them within themselves (if that makes sense). I just think that it is a matter of not knowing what their child would be exposed to that might be the issue. I myself am a Presbyterian and we definately do things many of my Morman co-workers would not like. Just simple things like diet, drinks, words etc. Nothing like wild parties (even though those are also not smiled upon) just different cultural things.

 

[CarolA]

I don't think it is a religion thing, it sounds like a parent thing.

 

[Lady de Winter]

That's a parenting thing, not a Mormon religion thing.

 

[hydster]

Well I was raised Mormon (in Utah might I add) and I can DEFINITELY tell you it is a parental thing!!! There is no rule about sleepovers (unless it's coed or something) but I had sleepover's my entire childhood life. We even had sleepovers at our church with the church leaders so I can definitely say it's not religion motivated. I'm not as active to the religion now that I've gotten older but I can definitely tell you that it is her parents and nothing else.

Some of the things they cannot or are very frowned upon doing are (just for future reference)

Dating before age 16
Any alcohol, tobacco, drugs
No sex and no living together before marriage
No swearing (although I've met very few active members who don't do this on occasion)
No coffee or tea
The teens are supposed to wear modest clothing (like no midriffs and such)
Not supposed to watch R rated movies

For the most part Mormon kids are like all other kids except for the few things I"ve listed above and I'm sure other religions practice some forms of this in some way.

Hope that helps some!
Heidi

 

[Pop Daddy]

ya gotta love there many wifes thing

 

[hydster]

Only YOU would think of that Pop Daddy

Actually it is against all teachings of the Mormon church nowdays. It was stopped and made illegal in the state of Utah in 1890 yet we STILL get labeled as such!

 

[becka]

I think it must be a parent thing. When I was in 5th and 6th grade my best friend was a Mormon and she was allowed to stay overnight at our house all the time and we didn't even attend church.

 

[swilphil]

Well I was raised Mormon (in Utah might I add) and I can DEFINITELY tell you it is a parental thing!!! There is no rule about sleepovers (unless it's coed or something) but I had sleepover's my entire childhood life. We even had sleepovers at our church with the church leaders so I can definitely say it's not religion motivated. I'm not as active to the religion now that I've gotten older but I can definitely tell you that it is her parents and nothing else.

Some of the things they cannot or are very frowned upon doing are (just for future reference)

Dating before age 16
Any alcohol, tobacco, drugs
No sex and no living together before marriage
No swearing (although I've met very few active members who don't do this on occasion)
No coffee or tea
The teens are supposed to wear modest clothing (like no midriffs and such)
Not supposed to watch R rated movies

For the most part Mormon kids are like all other kids except for the few things I"ve listed above and I'm sure other religions practice some forms of this in some way.

Hope that helps some!
Heidi

We have a Mormon family that lives down the street. They are very nice though do avoid some neighborhood gatherings where alcohol is served. I'm curious: why no coffee or tea?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Our neighbor was a Mormon and they also did not drink soda pop. No caffeine.

 

[missypie]

Some of the things they cannot or are very frowned upon doing are (just for future reference)

Dating before age 16
Any alcohol, tobacco, drugs
No sex and no living together before marriage
No swearing (although I've met very few active members who don't do this on occasion)
No coffee or tea
The teens are supposed to wear modest clothing (like no midriffs and such)
Not supposed to watch R rated movies

For the most part Mormon kids are like all other kids except for the few things I"ve listed above and I'm sure other religions practice some forms of this in some way.

Hope that helps some!
Heidi

Thanks, everyone. I had forgotten the no caffeine thing. Funny because I developed a caffeine intolerance after I had that particular DD, so our house is always stocked with decaf coke!

 

[missypie]

I was raised Baptist and the people at church would have never dreamed of going into a bar, even though they could have just had a coke or water while visiting with friends.

DD suggested to her friend that we parents meet at Starbucks and the friend replied that her parents don't drink coffee. Of course, you can have apple cider or other non-coffee drinks at Starbucks. But would a good Morman not ever be seen at a Starbucks just like a good Baptist wouldn't be seen at a bar?

 

[PG Sweetie]

I know that its just the parents cause I've spent the night with one of my Morman friends befor.

 

[Pop Daddy]

A Morman cant drink coffee, that erases the many wives good point they got

 

[minmate]

I'm not Mormon but I did live in Utah while in High School for awhile and learned about Mormonism quite a bit. As others have said, it seems to be a personal parent issue; however, Mormons are "typically" considered more conservative in general, therefore it is not difficult to see the parents making a choice like this, in part (even if a small part) due to their religious views. With that said, my neighbor is Catholic and while they don't necessarily go to church every week, she seems to be quite a spiritual person. She has told me her kids are not allowed to do sleep-overs -- at all. The oldest is 11, but she means EVER. In fact, her kids have only ever slept at two of her sisters' houses and I think that was for all of four nights total in their whole lives. So, again, I think it's the parents... unless of course this child has slept over at other people's homes?

 

[minmate]

...by the way, could you just do a pajama party? Maybe have the girl come over for dinner and hang out until bedtime?

 

[Immelman]

one of my BF's is Mormon. it's parental.

 

[hydster]

Missypie...you are correct that Mormon's do not want to be seen coming out of a Starbucks just like Baptists don't want to be seen coming out of a bar. Same principal. They do serve other things at Starbucks but I think it is more of a "stigma" to some...they equate Starbucks to Coffee and nothing else. I have no problem going into Starbucks or a bar but then I'm the "black sheep" of mormonism.

Swilphil--The no coffee or tea thing comes from a "commandment" type decree called the Word of Wisdom. The reason no coffee or tea (even decaffinated) is that we are told to stay away from any addictive stimulant so a really good mormon should not eat chocolate, drink any kind of drink with any caffeine in it and should only use healthy products. I don't know of many Mormons who don't drink some kind of cola or eat chocolate....but it's just one of the many "commandments" we are supposed to follow.

Heidi