Anybody else have a teen going off to college in August, 2009?

[The Mystery Machine]

Awww, nice pics Michelle!

 

[zurgswife]

Very Cute pictures.

 

[MichelleVW]

Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving!! DD20 came home on Monday evening and DD18 came home on Tuesday. DD18 ran over something a mile from the house and got a flat tire, and then....Wednesday morning when I was leaving for work...I spaced and forgot about her car being in the driveway and I hit it!!! I am a moron....I turned the wheel and started turning like I normally do, but usually her car isn't there. But thankfully all I did was dent her car a small bit and DH has decided to trade my car in, so my stupidity leads to a new car for me!


Here are a couple pics of DD20 when we went to San Antonio last Sunday.

We went to the Disney store!!

And here are the dogs watching her eat yesterday Lol!

 

[Christine]

Cute pics! The dogs crack me up!

My DD had to leave the house at 4:00 PM yesterday and get back to school. Her part-time job is at the mall near her college and they begged her to work Black Friday so she had to be at work at 3:00AM. I think she's there until noon and then it's on to the WVU vs. PITT game right afterwards.

When she got back to her house last night she told me there was a dead mouse floating in their toilet. She didn't want to flush it because their toilet clogs easily so she said "I think I'm going to go visit my friend....." Can't say I blame her!

 

[MichelleVW]

When she got back to her house last night she told me there was a dead mouse floating in their toilet. She didn't want to flush it because their toilet clogs easily so she said "I think I'm going to go visit my friend....." Can't say I blame her!

Omg EWWWWWW!!!!!!

 

[Kirby]

Michelle, I forgot my husband was home one afternoon and backed into his truck. It did no damage to his bumper but I drove my van for five more years with a big dent in the rear door. The sad part was that I was currently teaching our son how to drive. Little does he know that I also backed into his truck a couple of years later. No damage fortunately to either vehicle.

 

[MichelleVW]

Michelle, I forgot my husband was home one afternoon and backed into his truck. It did no damage to his bumper but I drove my van for five more years with a big dent in the rear door. The sad part was that I was currently teaching our son how to drive. Little does he know that I also backed into his truck a couple of years later. No damage fortunately to either vehicle.

I felt like a moron....I was in such a hurry and just looked to make sure I didn't take the mirror off with the garage.....it took me a minute to figure out what that horrible noise was!!!! DH said that it was the 7th claim that day of the exact same thing!!

 

[Kirby]

I felt like a moron....I was in such a hurry and just looked to make sure I didn't take the mirror off with the garage.....it took me a minute to figure out what that horrible noise was!!!! DH said that it was the 7th claim that day of the exact same thing!!

I know what you mean. That year I backed into things three different times. Now I don't back up unless I have to. I'll park farther out to keep from having to back out of a parking space.

I was able to go for a couple years with people thinking that my newly driving children had backed into something. One man stopped me in the parking lot at Wal Mart and told me that someone had backed into my car.

 

[powellrj]

I am waiting to take DS back to school right now. He got a new pt job and has to work today. We had to have a long talk last time that he was home and I told him he either needed a new lifestyle or a job because he couldn't afford to live like he was without it! He had gone through all of his summer spending money and was hitting me up for rent and utilities! I help out with groceries and have helped out with rent and utilities, but I can't do it every month.

 

[agnes!]

I have been following this thread (and maybe have even posted a few times), but I have some questions for all you experienced college-student parents...

What do you do when your kid seems to not like their college all that much and also thinks like they were sold a bill of goods about some important aspects (in this case, certain educational programs) of their college? I don't know what to do...grades are fine, social life seems ok (other than there being too high a girl to guy ratio)...but my college student seems so miserable to go back today. The problem is that this school seemed to be the best fit, there really isn't anywhere else, so what can my kid do? And, independent of her major, DD can't drop out of this other program she's in, if she does that she would then instead have to take general freshman-level classes for her prerequisites and that would negate all the upper-level course-work she's already done, so now she's stuck in it for four years.

I feel so helpless like I've failed my kid.

agnes!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have been following this thread (and maybe have even posted a few times), but I have some questions for all you experienced college-student parents...

What do you do when your kid seems to not like their college all that much and also thinks like they were sold a bill of goods about some important aspects (in this case, certain educational programs) of their college? I don't know what to do...grades are fine, social life seems ok (other than there being too high a girl to guy ratio)...but my college student seems so miserable to go back today. The problem is that this school seemed to be the best fit, there really isn't anywhere else, so what can my kid do? And, independent of her major, DD can't drop out of this other program she's in, if she does that she would then instead have to take general freshman-level classes for her prerequisites and that would negate all the upper-level course-work she's already done, so now she's stuck in it for four years.

I feel so helpless like I've failed my kid.

agnes!

First off...HUGS...

My dd is coming back home.

She is in a sorority, loves that and the socializing however her health problems and lack of focus have caused her to not be able to go forward. She has reached the brick wall. She is down to 9hrs this semester and is getting a D in one of those classes.

So she is coming home, going to take 6hrs at the community college maybe. If she does not then we have to jump through the hoops and defer loans.

So far she has not told anyone at school. That bombshell will drop when she goes back. Not sure what is going to happen there.

Have your dd go see a counselor to sort out things. That would be my recommendation to you, esp. if she wants to stick it out but is having a hard time.

You have to separate out what is "annoying" vs "dangerous". In other words is this affecting her physical or mental health? Is she depressed or suffering from anxiety?

My dd is suffering and she did try but she has to regroup. It is what it is....Not looking forward to this but she has to get herself together.

 

[donac]

I have been following this thread (and maybe have even posted a few times), but I have some questions for all you experienced college-student parents...

What do you do when your kid seems to not like their college all that much and also thinks like they were sold a bill of goods about some important aspects (in this case, certain educational programs) of their college? I don't know what to do...grades are fine, social life seems ok (other than there being too high a girl to guy ratio)...but my college student seems so miserable to go back today. The problem is that this school seemed to be the best fit, there really isn't anywhere else, so what can my kid do? And, independent of her major, DD can't drop out of this other program she's in, if she does that she would then instead have to take general freshman-level classes for her prerequisites and that would negate all the upper-level course-work she's already done, so now she's stuck in it for four years.

I feel so helpless like I've failed my kid.

agnes!

YOu have not failed her. My older son did okay his first semester but when he came home from the 2nd semester he kept putting off telling us his grades. I finally remembered his passwork (from when I paid off the bill) and his grades were in the toilet (including an F in Calc 1 which I teach at the high school level). We too felt we had failed him but it is not just us, there are too many other factors that are involved in problem. The hardest thing we have ever done as a parent is to tell him that he could not go back to school without giving us a good reason. we gave him 2 weeks and he never gave us a good reason why. We made him go to the local community college and he graduated there in two years and then went back to the school that he failed at. He spent two years and made the Dean's list every semester.

It will all work out. It may not seem like it now but it will. Good luck

 

[Christine]

What do you do when your kid seems to not like their college all that much and also thinks like they were sold a bill of goods about some important aspects (in this case, certain educational programs) of their college? I don't know what to do...grades are fine, social life seems ok (other than there being too high a girl to guy ratio)...but my college student seems so miserable to go back today. The problem is that this school seemed to be the best fit, there really isn't anywhere else, so what can my kid do? And, independent of her major, DD can't drop out of this other program she's in, if she does that she would then instead have to take general freshman-level classes for her prerequisites and that would negate all the upper-level course-work she's already done, so now she's stuck in it for four years.

I feel so helpless like I've failed my kid.

agnes!

You haven't failed her at all. These things do happen and the first semester, for many kids, is tumultuous at best. Prior to going to college, especially I think for kids like your daughter who are exemplary students, the expectations are so high and the perceived thoughts of how things are going to be are sort of programmed into them. When they get there and it's a bit different it is difficult.

My first college was so different than I expected it to be that I abruptly left after the first semester. I had a great time there, loved the people I met, did well in my classes, but it was a terrible fit for me and I was so shocked.

I would like to say that, if the program doesn't seem right for your daughter, don't stay in it because of all the things she did before to put her ahead. If it's not for her, it's not for her. Yes, the time she spent doing the upper level work seems wasted but you can't look at it that way. This is the time for your daughter to see what she likes and how things work. The path she has been on for many years may not be what's right for her. That's what college is about--figuring that out.

Having said that, she's only been there since August, it's now November. One more semester is usually definitive enough to sort things out.

Hang in there!

 

[zurgswife]

First, Agnes you have not failed your dd. Lots of kids for a variety of reasons need to change things after their first semester or first year of college. So, times the perfect fits are actually the farthest thing from a perfect fit once there. I seconded the suggestion of her going to take with an adviser or school counselor to try to sort things out. Just let her know if she changes her mind and needs to do something different that you are there to support her.

Second, I only got 1 out of my 2 college kids home this week. The one home has been playing WoW non stop.... as if he doesn't play at school. Non the less he is at least on the main floor and up on the other floors; so I at least get to see him. It's been nice having him around.

My oldest is with her boyfriends family and having a horrible time. Besides the family dynamics being horrible she has been suffering from chronic constipation for the last 10 days....she tried to deal with it before going and didn't have much luck...So, now she is without transportation and called me today about what she should do...I told her she needed to try a enema. Which is what I told her 3 days ago when she was still at her apartment. I feel so bad that she is dealing with such a uncomfortable physical situation in a very very difficult family dynamic one...I'm sure she will work it out but the Mom in me still worries about my not so little girl.

 

[Kirby]

Agnes, just off the top of my head I can name at least five kids that left college after just one semester. Some transferred to another college immediately, one sat out the Spring semester before transferring and others went to junior college the Spring semester before transferring. Their parents did not fail them, the colleges weren't a good fit for them like they thought. And all the colleges were big name ones like Texas Tech, Baylor, University of Alabama, etc.

 

[Alicia87]

First off...HUGS...

My dd is coming back home.

She is in a sorority, loves that and the socializing however her health problems and lack of focus have caused her to not be able to go forward. She has reached the brick wall. She is down to 9hrs this semester and is getting a D in one of those classes.

So she is coming home, going to take 6hrs at the community college maybe. If she does not then we have to jump through the hoops and defer loans.

So far she has not told anyone at school. That bombshell will drop when she goes back. Not sure what is going to happen there.

Have your dd go see a counselor to sort out things. That would be my recommendation to you, esp. if she wants to stick it out but is having a hard time.

You have to separate out what is "annoying" vs "dangerous". In other words is this affecting her physical or mental health? Is she depressed or suffering from anxiety?

My dd is suffering and she did try but she has to regroup. It is what it is....Not looking forward to this but she has to get herself together.

I am about 95% sure we have mirror image lives...or atleast our girls do! Gotta love our CHD girls!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am about 95% sure we have mirror image lives...or atleast our girls do! Gotta love our CHD girls!

Well my mirror image is out with friends. We told her to be home by 10pm.

Now normally not a big deal but we just got back from Chicago on vacay and listened to her complain about how much pain she is in from her spastic colon non-stop. Plus we came home early because she was not feeling well and wanted to go see the dogs. So she gets home, does some laundry and then leaves....Lord help me, she is going to kill me.

 

[geffric]

You haven't failed her at all. These things do happen and the first semester, for many kids, is tumultuous at best. Prior to going to college, especially I think for kids like your daughter who are exemplary students, the expectations are so high and the perceived thoughts of how things are going to be are sort of programmed into them. When they get there and it's a bit different it is difficult.


I would like to say that, if the program doesn't seem right for your daughter, don't stay in it because of all the things she did before to put her ahead. If it's not for her, it's not for her. Yes, the time she spent doing the upper level work seems wasted but you can't look at it that way. This is the time for your daughter to see what she likes and how things work. The path she has been on for many years may not be what's right for her. That's what college is about--figuring that out.

Having said that, she's only been there since August, it's now November. One more semester is usually definitive enough to sort things out.

Hang in there!

good advice.

I did answer you on another thread.. but..

kids are so different...some know what they are doing from day 1..( and some hit the wall after school is over..get into a job and realize that it is NOT for them)..others realize at school along the way, that the major/school is not for them..thought it would be but once there realized no, not for them.. it is all part of the process.. hard on parents but it isnt parents fault..but they feel bad since then guided them though the process ..but the kids go through it just the same..

DS#1 is having a crisis ..seemed so driven in high school, did all the right things... he thought he knew what he wanted and where he was going.. but sophmore year..hit the wall..questioned everything ..was very hard on us.. still is..he went to summer school here and loved it..loved the city, had FUN.. but he felt that his credits wouldnt transfer, so he went back to small town ( which he wanted before).. still thinking of joining the peacecorp, airforce etc..maybe then with time and some experiences he'll figure it out..

 

[geffric]

And another update on DS#1..

he left for Ethopia yesterday..yes Ethopia..had 6 others from the class stay at our house..gotta say i am not used to a house full of kids anymore..( how easily i forget.LOL)

i am not gonna think about all the bad things that can happen..just hope he has a Great time, does well in the class..( fingers crossed)

still thinking about military..or peacecorp..I feel that Ethopia will give him some prospective on what the peacecorp does..

so to cope with him being gone and not to obsess to much..i am going on a MR cruise..

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well, my dd is home now and not in school at the moment. We are working at getting her back physically and mentally. She feels like a failure right now.

She had a stress test the other day and will be getting some cardiac rehab soon.

Good luck to your son Geffric. Glad to read the update. And best wishes to all the kids here.