Anybody else have a teen going off to college in August, 2009?

[Rose&Mike]

Our DS (only child) goes off to college four weeks from today. He's going 500 miles away, and is so excited. I am thrilled for him, but have been having a really rough time with it the last couple of days. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through move in day. How long after they leave before you stop feeling sad? DH and I have 7 days at BCV coming up in October after we visit for parents weekend, and even that isn't cheering me up. Thanks for listening. Rose

 

[Hollywoodhaha]

No, I don't have a teen leaving because I am 15 but I am an incoming Junior and I leave for college in 2 years and I am already missing parents.

Your DS will miss you as well

 

[MerMom60_94]

I won't be there for another 4 years - my DD is just entering high school in September. I just want to send a big your way though because I dread the day I have to let go and can only imagine how bittersweet it must be for you.

 

[lisalynn]

My oldest will be a HS senior this fall, so I will be dealing with this next year at this time. I get teary just thinking about it & I have a whole year to go! I feel your pain--just know, he will be missing you too.

 

[Christine]

My DD will go away to college this August. She will be about 4 hours away (200 miles). I am very excited for her and kind of looking forward to her going. I mean that in the nicest way!

 

[mamacatnv]

Oh I went thru this last year - somewhere there is a great thread of a bunch of us Dis'ers who were Freshman parents. We checked in periodically througout the year. We all survived as did our kids My DS's school is 8 miles from our house and I don't think it mattered 8 miles or 500 miles he still "left" the nest.

First - I was pretty crybabyish for about a week before and after but I was rather forlorn and depressed for about 2 months.
However - DS came home in May and within a couple of weeks I was counting down the days to when he would leave again. I love him dearly and missed him like crazy but that year away does something to both parents and child as it is intended.
Parents develop new routines and learn to like the peace and quiet, the grocery bill is greatly reduced and lo and behold the leftovers in the fridge are still there when you go to get them. Child learns to manage themselves, their time and their weird internal clocks. They make a ton of friends and play at all hours, coming back home is boring and what do you mean I need to take the trash out

Here is an ironic thing I noted - on move in day the parents will be boohooing and perhaps a little clingy while the kids can't wait to begin their new adventure. I made it out of his dorm room and to the parking lot and then a friend called to see how I was and I was standing there in front of his dorm and I lost it. 9 months later I arrive to pack him up, help him clean his dorm etc......he is all emotional and boohooey as are most of the kids. Lots of hugs, tears etc.... He spends the first month at home moping around, he misses his friends etc. last month a friend came to visit for a week, he was thrilled. On Monday he leaves for a week to Vegas to go visit and stay with several of his new friends. Then it is only 3 weeks before school starts and we will have all made it through the summer and we will be dropping him off at this new student apt. that has a 12 month lease which means he will not be home for Christmas or next summer and you know what, I am okay with that!

DS and we all grew up a lot this past year. I sent off my child and a young man returned. One that is more independent, smarter and starting to learn the ropes of independence. I did my job and I am so very proud of him.

Congrats to you, your DH and your DS job well done.

 

[luv2sew]

Wow, I send you a hug, it was tough when my first kid went off to school and she, too, went quite a distant away. There's no trying to control those tears just let them flow. It gets easier as the time goes by, mine is now entering her fifth year (no she's not a slacker just a double major) and two years after she went my DS went off and left us with an empty nest.

It was funny cause my kids did not have "real" cell phones when she went off to school we were using the pay as you go and then I got my first "wake up call" in the form of my phone bill for the long distance charges that I made calling her up. Needless to say the next time she came home to visit we were at the Verizon store so fast....I can still hear her saying to me "you mean I'm getting a real cell phone"

It will get easier as the time goes by, by the holiday's you'll be fine. Don't forget to get that real "cell phone" and use the off peak times for the calls...also sign up for an IM or Facebook account so you can tell when she's/he's online to drop a short note or hi every once in awhile.

 

[Deb in IA]

We do, but our DD is going to the same university where her father and I are faculty members, and we will drive by her dorm every day.

I'll still miss her though.

 

[agnes!]

Oh I went thru this last year - somewhere there is a great thread of a bunch of us Dis'ers who were Freshman parents. We checked in periodically througout the year. ...

Do you mean this famous thread?...
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=31895152#post31895152

agnes!

 

[KatMark]

I've been through this twice. The first child wasn't too bad...because he lived at home his freshman year and drove back and forth to school. His second, third and fourth year he lived in an apartment on campus which wasn't bad because he'd still visit several times a week and I still had "my" baby at home. THEN "my" baby went to school in Wisconsin (we live in Illinois). I was fine driving up there with him and the truck, etc. We got everything in his dorm and it was time to say goodbye. I just started crying my eyes out. My poor son looked at his dad and his dad just said: "She's a mom...just let her be." The lucky thing is two days later we left for Disney World for ten days. I really believed that helped me get over the shock that I no longer had any kids at home. I got home and I'd walk in his room every once in awhile but we were fine. By youngest son's next year, he transferred schools (now he is in Iowa) and I was fine. His third year (the start of school in 2008) was a very difficult year again driving him to school and leaving him there. Unfortunately, my dad died the day before we had to take him back to school. It was a very sad drive to Iowa and it was hard leaving him there after having just lost my dad and I was worried about my son because he and his grandpa were very close. But the "boys" on his wrestling team promised me they would take good care of him and help him through his mourning. Again, we left for Florida a week after we took him and it helped ease the pain. He came home the weekend after we got back with a new tattoo...this one with his grandpa's "nickname" on his arm. This was his way of dealing with his pain.

I have to say now when he comes home for the summer (his brother is living at home), DH and I wish for the days when they were BOTH GONE!!! We miss the peace and quiet.

So, yes you will miss your child, but it does get easier and you'll also see what a great kid you've raised and that he is now taking that next step in his new life.

 

[PatsMom]

My DD is 18 today and I am sad about that. I am even sadder that she is leaving for college in a few weeks. She isn't going far - about 90 miles away. But we plan to try to treat it as though she were further away to try to give her a feeling of independence. She really wanted to go to college out of state but the budget just wasn't there. She needed more financial aid than she was offered to attend an out of state school.

 

[ozarkmom]

When my oldest left for college I was a basket case. I cried and when he came home for a visit I cried when he would leave. The first semester was tough on ME. On the other hand he did great and became very involved and as time went by he came home less and less. People told me this was good that the kids that want to run home all the time don't usually make it. He went on to become a mentor and then an R.A. I'd say for me it took the whole first semester and some of the second before I finally adjusted.

 

[geffric]

Our DS (only child) goes off to college four weeks from today. He's going 500 miles away, and is so excited. I am thrilled for him, but have been having a really rough time with it the last couple of days. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through move in day. How long after they leave before you stop feeling sad? DH and I have 7 days at BCV coming up in October after we visit for parents weekend, and even that isn't cheering me up. Thanks for listening. Rose

Hi Rose...

My oldest DS is leaving for college for the first time in August too.. One of the Moms recommended a book called Letting Go.. that has helped me.. 'cause everytime I looked at him during his last semester of his senior year I felt so sad..I wanted to take him on vacation last spring break but he wasn't interested.. wanted to hang with his friends.. ( boo hoo) and his graduation I was so teary eyed..

but we have sheets, frig, towels, hamper and waiting on the computer until August.. ( he got a job as a camp swim instructor for the second year so he is gone all summer and won't be back until 8/9.. ) so we are practicing.. not the real thing yet..

 

[missypie]

Yes, four weeks from today.

 

[mamacatnv]

Do you mean this famous thread?...
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?p=31895152#post31895152

agnes!

Agnes I think that is the Prom Drama Thread.........Not the Parents of College Freshman - but hey thanks for trying I have no clue how to post an old thread

 

[Rose&Mike]

Thanks so much for all the kind words and hugs. I have been doing pretty good with it this summer, but we finished our dorm shopping yesterday and I think it overwhelmed me a little--that it's really going to happen. I started crying in the Kroger yesterday--not a good thing. I really want him to have a good last month at home. I can tell he's starting to worry about me--which is not his job. Most days I'm really ok with it because DH and I are looking forward to being just the two of us again. We are the house that has kids most days, so we are looking forward to together time, but every once in a while I get a little emotional. DS is such a good kid, and I am so excited for him.

Thank you all again for the kind words. It's nice to hear from other folks who have gone through it/ or are going through it. Doesn't feel quite so lonely.

 

[geffric]

BTW when will you be at WDW in October?? I am going with the Dis Ladies early October..wanna join us??

 

[ugadog99]

Yes, my daughter heads off to college in August. She is only going to be an hour away, though, so that helps tremendously. I know I'll be really sad when the time comes for her to leave. As a single mom for a very, very long time, it's only been my two daughters (18 and 15) and me. I know it will be very odd without her here.

 

[Snowysmom]

It is a hard transition for everyone. When older DS went away to college, I was sad for a couple of months. Of course I cried when we left him the first day and was teary eyed all the way home. But, we kept in touch with him by phone, email, and IM so it was great to know what he was up to. Now we would probably add texting to the list. Each year I would be sad when he left and do my traditional cry while hugging him good bye but it was definitely easier each time. Now he is in medical school close by and we see him every weekend. Younger DS is now off to college but he is close by so we have an occasional empty nest.

Having the kids away at school, DH and I are going out to dinner together, movies, short vacations away just the 2 of us. It has definitely helped our relationship. And it is nice to see the kids mature and take responsibility for themselves.

I hope your DS has a great time at college and you and DH have a great trip.

 

[Linlo]

My daughter leaves in 4 weeks and I am so sad. I started crying way back in October-just thinking about it. Its almost like I don't know what to do with my time.

One thing that I did do is join an exercise club. I have been going every morning and it takes my mind off her moving out.

She isin't even gone yet and I am a basket case. I hope that it gets better.