Any women with law or medical degrees?

[Soccer Princess]

Are there any of you women with a law or medical degree who had children shortly after finishing your schooling? Did you take a break or continue to practice your profession? If you took a break, for how long and did you go back? If you went back, did you feel cheated or out of place at all?

My friends and I started this discussion earlier and I'm writing a paper on the topic. Some of them said why waste the time and money going to med or law school if you are going to stay home afterwards, while others disagreed. Any productive comments or thoughts to help me would be great!

 

[Pop Daddy]

I am afriad of smart women and cops

 

[TigerBear]

Does a Ph.D. count? I'm 33, divorced, but still very much want to have children. I actually only know one woman with a doctoral degree who has chosen to be a stay at home mom. She definitely thinks that her training helps her be a better parent - but her Ph.D. is in psychology. I have some friends who cut their work hours once they had children. However, the majority of women I know with advanced degrees have returned to work full time. Its definitely a personal decision - but many of us owe so much in student loans that not working is not an option.

 

[TarraLee]

Here's my two cents, for what it is worth:
I'm a 2L, top of my class, have a summer assoc position with one of the "big" firms in town. I'll take (and pass! I hope) the bar in 2005. The earliest DH and I will consider having children will be 2008, 3 years after starting full-time position, if God doesn't suprise us before then!

Don't get me wrong, I would love to have children right away! But, first evals will be at 18mos, and partnership track is just about 7 years. So, I feel the best thing is for me to take just one maternity leave between 18mos and being considered for partner.

I don't feel it is a waste of time and money to go to school and then stay home. School is about personal intellectual fulfillment for me, not about the paycheck it brings. If you don't go into it with that attutude it can make you miserable. Had I ended up at a lower place in my class, it would be quite possible that I could graduate and make less than what I made at the job I left to go to school (stock analyst).

My dream is to work hard for 10 years and put away a significant amount of money for retirement. Then, I would like to leave practicing law full-time in order to start a charter/magnet school for gifted kids in blue-collar towns. I grew up in a town where the school system's focus was on "preparing students for life" and life didn't often mean college, or any more college than local community college. So, I feel compelled to try and provide opportunities for bright kids who may not otherwise have those opportunities because of who their parents are, or where they grow up.

School for me is a means to that end-- it will give me knowledge, experience, and connections that will be helpful when I am ready to follow my charter school dream. By Gods grace, I did well, and will be paid well. And I was blessed with a scholarship, I don't pay tuition, only have loans for living expenses and books. So, my perspective may be atypical.

Sorry that I've given you such a long answer to a simple question, but so many people have said to me things like, "don't you want to have children?", "why go through school just to be a SAHM?", etc.

Best of luck to you with your paper! From the looks of your signature, you're a pretty accomplished young woman!

 

[Margie J]

I work in the Medical field (research) with many MD's and PhD's of both sexes. Many are parents and when they decided to have children has varied.

Of the PhD's, many women decided to have kids during their post-Doctoral training period. Their hours were more flexible in some regards at that stage of their careers. During school few had access to child care and it's tough to study and get work done with a baby or toddler around the house. Most take a few months off, post-partum and then return to work. Their careers don't seem to suffer even if they take a longer break at this period. Babies and toddlers are usually in day care so Mom can continue work in the lab. The age of the Mothers is often in the 26-32 year range.

Among the MD's, the women tend to have their kids once they are at least at the end of their Residences or into their Attending phase (starting approximately 4-7 years past Med School). The Med School and Internship/Residence years are too demanding and leave little time for a social life, lit alone having a baby. Once they are mid-career they can devote some time to child rearing, with the help of Nannies and day care. In this group I've seen older Mothers, in their late 30's or early 40's. Their time off, post-partum, is often a few weeks. Within that time there is little loss of status in their careers.

I might add that most of my female MD/PhD co-workers also have husbands in the same field. If one or both are in their post-Doctoral phases this appears to be the optimal time to start their families.

One friend of mine is a Lawyer and had her child during her first post-Law School job. She had the most difficult time I've seen. She took the minimum time off but felt that her Senior Partners and other Lawyers didn't take her as seriously after having her baby. They demanded the same time and effort of her as before yet promoted the Men or Women without kids before her. She felt a "how dare you consider having a child" feeling at that Partnership and left for another firm, for less money, shortly thereafter.

 

[UncleKyle]

Originally posted by Pop Daddy
I am afriad of smart women and cops

LOL still laughing

 

[MinnieYC]

I may be of some help...
I am currently in medical school. I worked for a bit after college while living with my then-boyfriend. We got married this past summer, and we started school in August (he's in law school). We hope to have children, although we're not sure when exactly this will be. I do not plan to be a stay-at-home-mom. That's just not my thing. I do plan to take maternity leave, though, for maybe 3-6 months. Depends when the baby comes...

My sister is a lawyer. She took three years off between college and law school (worked during this time). She had her first child during this in-between time, and he second was born right after her first year. She took some maternity leave for the first child, and just took the summer off and did not get a job or internship for the second. She has no regrets now, as things did work out for her. She works full time in a job she loves.

I should mention that both my sister and I are lucky in that we have a LOT of extended family living in the same city, so child care wasn't/won't be a problem.

 

[DocRafiki]

Originally posted by Soccer Princess
Some of them said why waste the time and money going to med or law school if you are going to stay home afterwards

Couldn't agree more. Of course, I know it's different in law schools, where it's common for women to go for their "MRS degree" and never practice. And yet, there's no lawyer shortage. But in my field (veterinary medicine) where so few applicants are accepted, it's downright selfish to waste the degree, when there are thousands of people who would have loved to have gotten that spot and actually become a productive vet.

Some PhD programs only accept 1-2 students per year per school (and some programs are in only a handful of schools), so I would think that those people would rightly get a flogging from their professors and other students if they decided to call it quits so soon.

You also have to consider that anyone going to a state school is having their education partially paid for by the rest of us. I for one don't appreciate having my tax money spent on an expensive match-making service (that goes for undergrad, too).

That being said, now that I know what life as a vet is like, I'd quit the second I won the lottery.

About 10 women in my class of 80 had babies during school. As far as I know, they're all practicing, though one is only working part-time. I don't know of any of them who went on to residencies; they just went straight to practice. I also have a pediatrician friend who just became pregnant a year after finishing her residency. She has hinted at having her husband stay home with the baby.

 

[kasar]

I really don't think that anyone, especially in this day and age, would go through medical or law school just to find a "catch" of a husband! This isn't the 1950's you know, some women might actually become doctors or lawyers (not just "waste" a spot in the school of their choice when someone better (a man perhaps?) could have their spot). Women are killing themselves out there trying to do it all while their husbands are never questioned on whether or not they plan to have children.

Education is never a waste. It's a personal decision to return to work or take time off, it's not for anyone except the parents to decide. Now that my kids are both in school it's time for me to get back on track but I don't regret my decision for a minute and I've always been aware of what the consequences are to the decisions I've made.

**I realize that what I wrote might be taken the wrong way but it's just that I'm raising my two bright, wonderful, funny girls to think there's nothing they can't do. I would have raised my sons (had I had them) the same way. So, I guess my mama-bear claws come out when I think that their options are limited because they were born girls.

 

[crz4mm2]

I don't have a medical degree, but have a MSN. I practice as a nurse midwife (call and all!). I didn't go back to school until I was 35. My kids were 15 and 8. I worked full time and went to school full time together. It was a very difficult time for the family. I can't imagine doing school full time and a baby at the same time. I know many do it and have no problems. But I think it would be extremely difficult. Would I do it again? I am not sure. I wish I would have had more opportunity for education when I was younger. I think it is a bit easier when you are younger and before you have family responsibilities.
It would definately be easier if you had a nanny
I didn't interupt my career for my babies (had no career in those days!) so I can't speak to the when question. I have a pt who is a physician. She is in her 2nd year of practice and is having her 2nd baby. She plans to take 3 months off. I do not think her practice will suffer at all.

I have to agree that education in whatever field, is for personal fulfillment. I have a friend that is currently in her first year of med school. She has been a nurse for many many years. She wants to do this for her.
Best of luck on your paper. I hope you do well.
Cathy

 

[Redmic]

I am a lawyer and I'll tell you the first few years of practice are all-consuming. It would be extremely difficult to put in the necessary hours to succeed with a baby at home unless you practice in the public sector.

I had my first child after 6 years of practice. By them I had proven my value enough to be able to cut back to 4 days a week.
I had my second child 4 years later. After practicing for 15 years I cut back to part time, and I much make more money than I did working 55 hours a week as a newcomer. I have a great life now, but those early years were tough!

I believe you can do it all, but I don't think you can do it all at once and keep your sanity. Just my opinion!

 

[Sandy V.]

As a female 43 year old attorney who works full time, and is married to another attorney and is the mother of 2 teenagers, I disagree with those who argued that people are "wasting" their degrees if they choose to stay home or do something different after they receive a law/medical degree.

I was one of those people who went straight from kindergarten through law school. 20 straight years of school! I met my husband in law school (no, I was not headhunting for a husband; it just happened to be a wonderful thing that happened to me!) and we were married after our 1st year (we were both 23). We spent the first 2 years of our marriage completing our degrees, studying for the bar exam, taking the darn thing, and both PASSING it! Both of us were fortunate to get jobs relatively quickly and started in the work world.

One thing you have to understand about law and medical careers; they can take over your life very easily! It takes a lot of initial time and effort to establish yourselves and gain credibility with your coworkers/the partners. Long hours at the office are almost always required, at least for young associates (obviously, I can't speak for the medical profession).

I became pregnant and had my first child at age 27. I took the 6 weeks off and then came back to work full time again. When I had my second child at age 30, with the full support of my husband, I quit working for a little over a year to stay home with both my kids. My initial plan was to stay home FOREVER, but I discovered that after the first 6 months, I'd gotten organized enough that I actually was a little bored. I need adult contact and interaction. So I went back to work in the field of legal publishing and analysis, which is very intellectually stimulating, but doesn't have the demands of a law practice. I've been working full time in that field for 13 years now, and it's a great field for working parents because of the flexibility. My husband is in a traditional law practice, and one civil litigator in the family is QUITE enough, thank you! When we first graduated from law school, friends and relatives wanted to know why we weren't practicing together. I told them that we were interested in remaining MARRIED! I've seen too many attorneys married to each other who practice together who end up divorced - in my opinion, you need that break from one another, so you have something to talk about at the end of the day that isn't "shop talk".

Education is never wasted, regardless of how you use/don't use your specific degree. I earned that spot in law school - what was I supposed to do? - give it up to someone else because I MIGHT choose to be a mother down the road?

 

[Lisa F]

Originally posted by Sandy V.
Education is never wasted, regardless of how you use/don't use your specific degree. I earned that spot in law school - what was I supposed to do? - give it up to someone else because I MIGHT choose to be a mother down the road?

I just wanted to pull that out of your long (but well stated) post so that it didn't get lost. I COMPLETELY agree. It's none of anyone's business, least of all old professors and school colleagues, what I choose to do after I have earned my advanced degree. If someone earns entry into a PhD program that is SO competitive that they only accept 1-2 people and they make it through the program and get their degree, they have a really wonderful accomplishment under their belt and as far as I am concerned, they have earned the right to choose what they want to do with the rest of their life. People are entitled to reevaluate what their priorities are, especially when they have children (but really, it's probably not a bad idea to reevaluate your priorities on a semi regular basis anyway, even if you realize that your priorities are correct).

 

[Sandy V.]

Thanks, Lisa. Reevaluating your priorities really occurs (or should, in my opinion) in ANYONE'S life as you're met head on with what's thrown your way.

Plus, there's no one "right" way to use a law degree anyway. My husband and I have many classmates that have great careers in fields nowhere close to the courtroom - the entertainment industry, as sports agents/franchise representatives, real estate, insurance, etc. One of the brightest in our class is now a farmer and another is a minister. If they're leading happy and fulfilled lives, hey, more power to them!

 

[padams]

I have a law degree. After law school, I practiced litigation for 6 years before I had DS. I had always thought that I would take maternity leave and continue to practice full time. During my pregnancy, I changed my mind and decided to retire. Six months after DS was born, DH decided to start his own business and needed my help. Eight years later, I am still general counsel for our firm. I refer to it as my 2nd legal career as I do transaction-oriented work now- something totally different from my business litigation experience. I could never have foreseen in law school this path that my career has taken.

I believe that if a woman is qualified to go to graduate school, she should go if she wants to do so even if she thinks she might want to be a SAHM later. I have one law school classmate who had her whole life planned in law school including her wedding, and her plans to quit law to stay home with her 2 planned kids. The only problem is that she (she'll be 40 this spring) has never found the right guy and remains unmarried with an incredible legal career.

I have another lawyer friend who quit practicing law to be a SAHM mom five years ago. She had no intention of going back to work until her husband left her this year, and now she has returned to practicing law to support her children. Like many of my lawyer friends who took time off for kids, she says it is very difficult to immediately get back on the partnership track but relatively easy to transition back into a full time legal practice.

My point is that no one knows the twists and turns that their life will take, but a good education and marketable skills (such as being a lawyer) are things that you can take with you through life.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

You also have to consider that anyone going to a state school is having their education partially paid for by the rest of us. I for one don't appreciate having my tax money spent on an expensive match-making service (that goes for undergrad, too).

oh well, that's an opinion I'd strongly have to disagree with. Study after study has shown that higher education for women has enormous benefits to society.

Women with college educations are more likely to have healthy pregnancies and more likey to seek care for their pregnancies at an earlier date. They also have fewer children as a whole. They are more self-sufficient, which is especially important in cases where through death or divorce the woman suddenly has to become the sole support a family. This results in smaller numbers of "welfare Moms." They are less likely to develop drug habits and less likely to smoke and/or engage in other unhealthy activities such as unprotected sex with multiple partners.

Also, children of educated women are more likely to do their own homework in school, keep their grades up, stay off drugs, and in short are themselves more likely to become productive members of society.

In fact, I thought it was pretty common knowledge that Higher Education can be key in raising the quality of life and standard of living of any individual. I find it odd that some would feel a person "undeserving" of that benefit simply because they disagree with their career choices.

I'd say -- a pretty good bargain for my tax dollars.

 

[keswick1uk]

I'm a professional accountant in the UK. Studied until I had gained all my qualifications and practising certificate and then had children. For each babe I had only the statutory 14 weeks maternity (starting right on labour!) and then returned part-time.

I have been part-time in practice, with 3 partners, ever since. Its good to be able to earn in part time hours what most do in a full time job. Now I can take the children to school and collect them. Run and swim (my hobbies) and help with the childrens school sporting and reading 'mums' sessions.

All in all a great compromise, I feel. (Even though I am not in medicine or the law!!) Sorry

 

[robsmom]

Having children and how you parent them are an extremely individual and personal thing. I do not think then many women go to law school or medical school with the intention of giving up their career right after graduating. The great thing about being a women is that we have choices and the great thing about life is that you don't always know where the road is going to lead. Some women just find themselves in a different place after school then they expected and should be applauded for a willingness to give up their career if that is what they choose.

Personally, I work full time in a professional job and have 1 child in day care. I was never real sure if I would be a SAHM or work and may still change my mind at some point. Whne I was pregnant I had a co-worked who planned to "take 6 weeks off, put the child in day care and happily move go back to work - no problem ". I agonized, decided to take 3 months, planned to come back but really wondered if i would be able to leave my child. 3 months later, she was crying every day and I was happily dropping my kid off in the morning. Eventually she quit, had another child and loves her life. She had no idea how profoundly impacted she would be at being "mom". I had no idea how tiring and stressful being at home could be!

Sorry this is so long, but I don't think we can judge anyone for what is a very personal choice.

 

[TarraLee]

I agree with the post that stated that law/med/grad school is just WAY too demanding to be used as a matchmaking service. Let me tell you, if all I wanted was a MRS degree, I'd spend a whole lot more time on what I looked like and whole lot less time in jeans and tennis shoes, burried in the library!

Luckily, my DH is also a law student in the same year. It is great having someone who understands what is going on in your life (as we sit here writing case notes). Being lawyers will give us a lot of flexibility in who works/stays home, etc.

And, I also agree that I EARNED my spot in our class, and so I'd feel no guilt whatsoever about getting my degree, and then not using it, for whatever reason. After all the work I'll put in to get my JD, what I do with it is no-one else's business- I earned it and its mine to use or not as I see fit!

 

[Deb in IA]

Soccer Princess,
I graduated from high school at 17, college at 21, medical school at 25. Finished residency at 28, married at 29, first child at 31, second at 35.

Aside from 8 and 10 week maternity leave, I have always worked full time. I am currently an associate professor in our medical school. My husband is also an academic physician, working full time. We have never had a in-house nanny, and our extended families are 400 miles away. We have extremely busy lives, but manage, through careful coordination of schedules, to keep everything running smoothly.

I love my job, I love my family, and I love my life. I couldn't imagine doing anything else.