Any tips to help DH with his diet? :(

[Kteacher]

My DH was recently told by his dr. that he needs to lose a minimum of 80 lbs. He is borderline diabetic, has high blood pressure, and has recently been diagnosed with sleep apnea. None of this was a surprise to me- I've been trying to get him to go for regular check-ups (he's only had 2 in our 20 years of marriage). So now I'm trying to help him - I've encouraged him, I've been cooking low fat meals for him, I got rid of all the tempting snack foods in the house. He continues to go out and buy things he knows he shouldn't eat, and tells me he deserves a treat ( yesterday he ate almost a whole 1 lb. bag of salted peanuts ). His dr. sent him to a nutritionist, whio gave him calorie guidelines, as well as guidelines for salt and fat. He'll follow the guidelines, and then eat snacks that he buys on his own saying it's his " reward". How can I help him ?

 

[sap1227]

I think you are doing all you can do to help him. You are making sure when he is a home the food is what he should have. The rest has to come from him!

Good luck!

 

[Barb D]

You can't. You just can't. He has to do it himself. I know it's frustrating for you, but it's out of your control.

You could try suggesting alternative rewards, but when it comes down to it he still has the power to go for the food "rewards."

 

[4togo]

Before anytime I heard the work diet made me think of all the things I just had to eat. My DH gave me a two week challenge. Nothing! NO cookies, no chips, no bread, just nothing. Lots of water and regular meals with meats and veggies. It was so hard and boy were we crabby. BUT it really changes what your body is craving. I really feel like all this junk food is an addiction and it has to be flushed out of the body and then you can work on how to bring it back to your life in moderation or like I have found that you really don't need that stuff anymore. (still enjoy a good cookie now and then)

I wish you both a best of luck and please let us know how it is going.

 

[lmhall2000]

It is sooo hard...if he's willing...I'd try this....just make him stick to low carb for ONE WEEK! Let him see what foods he can eat and tell him just do this one week for me....sometimes they just won't do it for themself. He'll surely lose a big amount that first week and maybe that will inspire him to stick with it....the two things that first week will do is...1. show him how much "bad stuff" he usually does eat 2. shrink his stomach a bit because he'll be cutting out all those carbs it will also give him more energy and make him crave good things...there are several fast food places that make good low carb alternatives. That would be my first try...it's only 7 days but with someone 80 pounds overweight it could really make it come off and inspire him.

Tara

 

[SnackyStacky]

There is NOTHING you can do.

Nobody can lose weight unless they are ready to, and they want to. And simply, he is neither ready, nor does he want to.

From somebody who's been on the receiving end of that help, it's only going to make him resent you.

And I know that being in YOUR positing is very difficult as well. I'm also now on the helping end. And now matter how hard you try, you can't do ANYTHING unless that person is willing to help themselves.

 

[FantasticDisFamily]

As others have said, he has to want to do it. And it is hard. I'm guessing that his doc described him as "borderline diabetic" because his readings were not "too far" out of the zone. There really isn't such a thing as a borderline diabetic, either a person's body is not processing the glucose in the bloodstream properly or it is. However, often a change in eating habits will get it so between that and weight loss the insulin the system is producing will keep things in a normal range.

That being said you may want to help him try the newer guidelines from the American Diabetic Association. They balance carbohydrates, fat, and proteins with all the veggies you want. This is what the nutritionist I worked with gave me based on the craziness of my lifestyle. It is something that could be worked with no matter if I was eating at home, carrying a lunch to work, or grabbing from the concession stand before a football game!

If you aren't familiar with those try their website, check the bookstore or PM me so I don't take up too much space here. The thing that I found (and DH did too) that was so great was the flexibility - there wasn't really anything we couldn't eat as long as we planned for it, and recognized that if we were going to reward ourselves with something not so great we had to compensate elsewhere AND we ate 6 times a day. This helped to keep blood glucose levels in a steady range so you don't experience those highs and lows that send you running to the vending machine or convenience store!

Good luck
Deb

 

[johde]

Speaking as a guy here, yes he needs to do it himself. I would also recommend he go some form of low carb. I am doing a modified South Beach Diet. Atkins is also good. I have also heard good things about Weight Watchers Core. I am currently doing a combination of all three although focusing on SBD. All three of these plan allow you to eat until you are satisfied, not stuffed, so you don't have the constant huner to deal with. I would start out on either SBD or Atkins for the first two weeks. Cleansing you body of the bad carbs for two weeks really helps with the cravings later on. A brief definition of each at least in my mind would be.

Atkins: Low Carb, Don't worry about fat. (If you burn it it won't clog your arteries). Extremely restrictive Induction then slowly adds back carbs until weight loss slows.

South Beach: Good Carb, Good Fat. Cuts out the refined carbs. Unlimited vegetables are allowed. Fruits and whole grains are OK starting in phase 2. You limit the saturated fats and transfats. .

WW Core: Lower fat than SBD or Atkins, allows more carbs. Does not have an Induction phase. Has flex points for treats.

Weight Watchers Core may be the best for him longterm. It allows for treats but you have to "pay" for them with flex points. I would start out though on one of the other plans. The weight loss is great in most people those two weeks of induction or phase 1. In the first month, I lost close to 30lbs. Now since then, it has dropped to the between 5 and 10 lb a month. But that first month really gave me a shot in the arm. I was in stage 1 for three weeks before starting to move to stage 2. The first week, I cheated a couple of times so I decided to extend it a week. Since switching to a low carb diet, my blood pressure has dropped from borderline high to normal. I eat peanuts. They are healthy snack foods but I buy the lightly salted. I can't stand unsalted to eat and now regular one taste too salty. Hope some of this helps.

 

[MickeySP]

Ditto the He has to want to do it crew. It really is up to him. I weighed 347lbs last year and noone could make me lose cause I did not want to. I finally came to a realization and only then did I do it myself. So support him but he has to do it.

A good rule of packaged foods, no more than 1/3 of their calories from fat. You will be surprised how much this eliminates fro your food plan. Also try to do fresh rather than canned or frozen, the sodium levels are atronomical in packaged foods also.

Good Luck!

 

[pixiedust27]

Maybe he could think of a reward that doesn't involve food? I'm all about the reward system and it's what I use to motivate myself. But rather than rewarding myself with food I reward myself with a new DVD or something along those lines.
It's just a thought . . . I don't know if it would work for him or not.
good luck!

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Also have his Dr. spell out the possible consequences of uncontrolled Diabetes. Blindness, impotence, loss of limbs, lowered immune system. All side effects are minimized with good control of blood sugar.

My oldest sister just died from cancer last month at only 53. She had Type II Diabetes and was unwilling to change her eating habits. She thought as long as her blood sugar was under 200 (!) it wasn't really that serious.
But fat cells act as hormone factories and that is why it was the major risk factor for her cancer according to my OB/GYN.

 

[SetzKitten]

Although I agree with everyone who says he has to do it himself, he really needs to realize the burden he could be putting on you and his family. My DBIL was borderline diabetic 10 years ago. He did nothing to control his diet, no exercise, no nothing that would have slowed the progression of his disease. Now he's looking for a kidney donor, and guess where he's looking. At family members, including me. I'm struggling with my decision to help more than anyone will ever know and I am angry and resentful that our family is being asked to sacrifice our health for someone who didn't do anything, and I mean ANYTHING, to help himself. Once I resolve my anger, I know I will get tested because I can't let him die. Your husband needs to wake up ASAP and realize that this doesn't just concern him and his wants. Sorry for the rant, but it's an extremely touchy subject with me. Good luck to you Kteacher because it can't be easy for you.

 

[Zoesmama03]

I don't know that there is much else you can do. Talk to him communicate your worry that he may get sick or have serious health problems.

Nuts arent all that bad but he needs to limit them. separate them in to servings 15 I think is rule with nuts a handful. A lb is A LOT. Btu still you can't force him really. Its sad but people have to decide this on their own.

I hope he comes around soon.