Any tips for making Kindergarten a little easier for my little guy??

[MickeyMom2Boys]

Yesterday was my son's first day of Kindergarten. He went to preschool part time for the last two years, but this was his first time riding a bus and at a big school. He convinced himself yesterday that he was excited and did really well until he actually got on the bus and was leaving us. Then you could tell he was scared. He said he had some tears on the bus but was fine once he got to school.

Then, the bus numbers got mixed up and they ended up putting him on the wrong bus to come home!! I'm waiting for him to get off his bus, and he doesn't get off. The bus driver calls for him, I walk the bus isle looking for him - he's not there. It took 20 minutes to find him Turns out they were given stickers when they got off the bus, some of the stickers fell off and he ended up with the wrong sticker on his backpack (even though I had written the bus number on his packpack and lunch box and he knows the number). I was hysterical - worried that he would get off the bus somewhere and now know where he was and wander around. Thank God that we had talked about this and he knew to stay on the bus.

So the other bus takes him back to the school, I come in to get him and I'm very upset. He seems fine and continued to seem fine last night and this morning . . . until we said it's time to go. Then he started screaming and crying and wouldn't let go of me. I had a meeting with the teacher and principal to make sure the bus situation had been corrected, so I took him in. I had to literally pry him off of me and leave him there screaming and crying. His teacher called me about an hour and a half later and said he had calmed down and was in class and participating in his activities. But I know tomorrow morning is going to be the same thing.

What has worked for your kids? Is there anything I can do to make this easier for him?? Last night all I could think was "I can't take this - I just want to escape to Disney World!! No schools, no busses, just Mickey Mouse."

 

[allyphoe]

I come in to get him and I'm very upset. He seems fine and continued to seem fine last night and this morning

I took him in. I had to literally pry him off of me

I know tomorrow morning is going to be the same thing.

It's possible he picked up on your upset-ness last night.

My DD, who rode the bus mostly without incident or complaint, was the kind of kid you had to pry off of you if you drove her to school. My solution was to require her to ride the bus. Every day, whether she wanted to or not.

If you "know" that tomorrow is going to be the same thing, it probably will be. I find that being relentlessly cheerful and unsympathetic makes it easier for DD to suck it up and deal, whereas commiserating or being sympathetic just works her up more.

If it were my kid, I'd suggest that she double-check her dot / bus number indicator, and if it's wrong, tell the teacher. "I think I have the wrong dot; I ride Bus 37." Although IME, once they've screwed up once with your kid, it makes them more careful in the future.

 

[BABY_EINSTEIN'S_MOM]

Awww...I totally understand and feel for you. My dd actually has a social anxiety disorder and I went through this during preschool and kindergarten..yep they had to pull her off of me every day! It is very emotionally draining.

As far as suggestions to help..is there anyway you can take him/pick him up at least until he settles in? I know that I would have never managed to get my daughter on a bus..so you are doing great(the school mishap probably just has him upset). Other than that, I can tell you that with time he will defintely get better! Good luck!

 

[annagirl]

If riding the bus is what is expected, don't drive him to school again.

Have a short, unemotional talk with him that everyone makes mistakes but they learn from them, just like he learns from his mistakes. Then, and this may seem silly, but write his bus number on the back of his hand, that way he can't lose it.

Then teach him how to ask his driver if he's on the right bus number. Role play this a few times so he's comfortable with it.

When he leaves in the morning, take a moment to get on the bus with him, have a word with the driver about what happened (be brief) and then have him sit down while you get off the bus. That way the driver is aware of any outbursts from him that morning. And if he's the same driver in the afternoon tell him about the hand thing.

In a week he'll forget it even happened and it'll all be routine for him.

 

[Drusilla]

I hate to say it but these things happen. Same thing happened to my daughter when I sent her to Kindergarten - you are not alone. Having been there, done that, my advice would be to deal with it logically, not emotionally. The more you get worked up in front of your child, the more he will get worked up and be scared of the bus, etc.

Get him back on the bus, he will be fine. It sounds like he was fine until he saw your reaction and then all the sudden he wasn't fine. After a few days of standing your ground and having expectations of him, he'll surprise you.

Another thought I'd like to share that my mother told me is that the reputation you [mother] earn in kindergarten follows you all the way through highschool. Teachers talk from one grade to the next. As my mom put it, "Don't become one of 'those' mothers." You may mean well but it actually does your child a huge disservice in the long run.

 

[Hannathy]

Stop dwelling on it at least in a bad way. It's over it's done, no harm. stop making a big deal out of it. If you must touch on it turn it around and laugh about it. Say what a story you will have to tell all your life about your first day of school, make it funny that he ended up on the wrong bus, etc...

I agree that you being upset is what set him off, it happens all the time. the child is fine Mom goes hysterical and now little johnny thinks wow Mom is upset I guess I should be to!

Tomorrow just walk out say bye and on he goes, no mention that it could happen again, just act normal and everything will be fine.

I agree about the reputation you earn in kindergarten as a parent does travel all the way!!!!! (and teachers talk-a lot)

 

[princessmom29]

I think that the PP's have given good advice. The key is to minimize the situation, and not to let him feed off of your anxiety and upset. If you protray it as not a big deal and calmly put him on the bus every moring he will eventually realize that it is in fact ok.

 

[RMulieri]

No suggestions here...I am worried about the same thing.My dd starts Kindergarten on Monday and has to ride the bus.We only have half day K here so she will be by herself on the bus going to school.Coming home at least she has an older neighbor child that offered to keep her eye on her, but I am still stressing since she has to change busses to come home every single one of my neighbors kids has gotten on the wrong bus at least once in their school career..makes me a nervous wreck

 

[MickeyMom2Boys]

You are all right. I'm sure some of this is feeding off of my reaction. I suppose I should have kept cool in front of him, but it's hard to think rationally when you just spent the last 20 minutes with the school telling me they had no idea where he was. We did sit down with him and make sure he understood that he did exactly what he should have done - stayed on the bus! We also assured him that the issue had been corrected. The teacher, principal and bus driver now know exactly what bus he should be on.

I also thought about what some of you have said about the mother's reputation with the teachers/principal. Which is why I chose not to push the issue yesterday while I was too upset to deal with it rationally. I spoke to the teacher this morning, very calmly and just explained that I needed to understand what happened and what would be done to make sure it didn't happen again.

But I think another part of this is the school side of the issue and he really doesn't want to be there. He doesn't know anyone in his class (kids from his preschool are going to another school) and I think he feels lost and alone. I keep trying to encourage him to talk to the other kids - on the bus, in his class, at lunch and at recess. I know he'll be more comfortable once he gets to know some other kids. In the middle of all the crying this morning, as we walked in the school he got all excited because he thought he saw his friend's Mom from pre-school. It broke my heart to tell him that wasn't her. He just knew his friend was going to be there at his school.

I will continue to make him ride the bus - the quicker I get away the better he is, so driving him each day will only prolong this. And I know that time is the only thing that will make this easier, so I guess we're just in for a rough couple of weeks. I just wish I could do something to make this easier on him.

 

[MickeyMom2Boys]

No suggestions here...I am worried about the same thing.My dd starts Kindergarten on Monday and has to ride the bus.We only have half day K here so she will be by herself on the bus going to school.Coming home at least she has an older neighbor child that offered to keep her eye on her, but I am still stressing since she has to change busses to come home every single one of my neighbors kids has gotten on the wrong bus at least once in their school career..makes me a nervous wreck

My only suggestion is to make sure she knows not to get off the bus unless she sees you (or whoever will be getting her off). Thankfully we had gone over that several times with my son. Also, find out how the school "labels" them with their bus number. My school used stickers -which failed (several other kids were in the office for the same reason when I got there). If whatever they use isn't adequate for you, use your own. I have heard of other schools using buttons, wrist bands, & lanyards. I also don't agree with how they put the stickers on their backpacks. What if the kid picks up the wrong backpack? Good luck. I'm on pins and needles today until 4:00 comes around and I know that he made it on safely this time.

 

[liznboys]

Awww, that bus thing is awful! To have that happen on the first day of Kindergarten... That makes me tear up just thinking about your little guy!

I don't have any advice as I haven't been through that myself (knock on wood). My older two were fine starting school and my 3rd son starts K this Friday! He is so excited about it he is ready to explode lol, so hopefully his excitement continues throughout these first days.

We drive our kids to school every morning as it gives us extra time to sleep (our bus comes at 6:50am, school starts at 7:30) plus, we really like sending our boys off to their day in a quiet, happy way. I am not a fan of school buses AT ALL, and my kids would never step foot on one if it were up to me. But I don't want my overprotective tendancies to stop them from doing things. So, they do ride the bus home everyday. Anyway, I always stress and worry (inwardly) when they first start riding the bus in K. They are so little and not used to things.

Ok, I am not helping you, am I?! Well, if anything just know there are other moms like you out there who feel the same way: "I can't take this - I just want to escape to Disney World!! No schools, no busses, just Mickey Mouse."

Hang in there, best wishes to you and your little guy!!!

 

[Madzac]

Oh my, I would have been terrified if one of my kids didnt get off the bus! In this day and age you just never know. How scary for you, so of course you were upset!!

I would agree with others at this point though, try to get him back to riding the bus as soon as you can and talk to him that it was a little mishap, but its been taken care of, and that he is safe on the bus. Also remind him that just like preschool before long he will know the kids in his class and be comfortable there. It just takes a little time. But in my expereince, it does seem to get better quickly!

Hang in there! I know, as a mom, you just want everything to go well!

 

[WantToGoNow]

It will be all right. Within a week or so he will be an old pro at the busses and the school thing.

My dd started Kindergarten yesterday. The school provided us with a name tag that hangs around their neck that has their name, address and bus number on it. They will be wearing these for the first 2 weeks of school so that the teacher knows which bus to put them on, the driver can verify they are on the right bus, and they know exactly where to drop them off. Our morning K busses also will not let a child off of the bus unless they can identify the adult standing on the front porch/lawn.

When my ds started 1st grade, he fell asleep on the bus on the way home. My dd25 called me at work panicking because he didn't get off the bus. It took an hour before he was brought home - the bus literally went to the garage and then checked the seats and found him. I've reminded him since to never fall asleep on the bus.

Now my dd's best friend did this this year on her first day of 1st grade last week. I heard my dd in the front yard yelling "xx didn't get off the bus". Her mom heard my dd yelling and immediately called the bus transportation and she was quickly brought back. The funny part of this, my ds and the childs brother and sister were on the bus and knew she was asleep and no one bothered to wake her up. I told my ds that he better never get off of the bus without his sister.

 

[RMulieri]

My only suggestion is to make sure she knows not to get off the bus unless she sees you (or whoever will be getting her off). Thankfully we had gone over that several times with my son. Also, find out how the school "labels" them with their bus number. My school used stickers -which failed (several other kids were in the office for the same reason when I got there). If whatever they use isn't adequate for you, use your own. I have heard of other schools using buttons, wrist bands, & lanyards. I also don't agree with how they put the stickers on their backpacks. What if the kid picks up the wrong backpack? Good luck. I'm on pins and needles today until 4:00 comes around and I know that he made it on safely this time.

Thanks..I am going to laminate an index card with the bus numbers and attach to her backpack.The school doesn't do anything, to make it easier( no stickers or anything)..and last year they changed the bus number often the first few days, which really led to more screw ups and kids getting on the wrong bus..This town has grown too fast and everything is screwy.At least the neighbor girl is concerned enough and likes my DD enough to make sure she gets on the right bus.

 

[allyphoe]

it's hard to think rationally when you just spent the last 20 minutes with the school telling me they had no idea where he was.

Yeah, I hear ya! When DD6 was a kindergartner, she didn't get off the bus one day, because the bus driver didn't stop at our house. MIL called me at work, and I called the transportation department (who can get the bus drivers by radio). No answer, all the way down the phone tree. Called the elementary school. No answer, all the way down the phone tree. Called the main administrative office for the district, explained the issue to the receptionist, who transferred me to two different people - neither of whom answered their phones.

At that point, I gave up, and called home again. MIL said the older kids on the bus told the bus driver he'd missed a stop, and he came back around. We told DD "You gotta speak up!" because she was torn between "the driver missed my house" and "you aren't allowed to be loud on the bus."

But I think another part of this is the school side of the issue and he really doesn't want to be there. He doesn't know anyone in his class (kids from his preschool are going to another school) and I think he feels lost and alone.

Yeah, I heard that for about the first month of kindergarten. DD had mostly the same classmates for 2 years in preschool, and then went to a kindergarten on the other side of town with strangers. It was a rough transition, and there's nothing you can really do to help with it.

I wouldn't count on it not being a problem in later grades, but being in the same building seems to help. My DD's school had 3 kindergarten classes last year, and 3 first grade classes this year, but her 1st grade class only has 3 kids from her kindergarten class (out of 24 total). "And they aren't the kids I liked!" she grumbled. But we're two weeks in, and I'm hearing fewer "I don't like my class! I don't have any friends!" complaints.

 

[MickeyMom2Boys]

Well, we had a quick, firm talk last night. He was whining that he wanted to be a car rider. I told him absolutely not - this was not an option - he would be getting on the bus today and it was not up for discussion. I left it at that. I also told him if he could hold it together for his Dad this morning and tomorrow morning we would go see a movie this weekend. He was really excited about that. I also reminded him that he has Gym class today and tomorrow (the one thing he has been looking forward to). I got a very cheerful video on my phone this morning of him saying "Buy those movie tickets Mom, 'cause I'm getting on the bus!" DH said he got a little teary eyed when the bus pulled up, but he diverted his attention and he went right on. It may have helped that it was just Dad today. I hope tomorrow goes as smoothly!! Thanks to everyone for all the tips. It's nice to know I'm not the only one this has happened to or who had this fear. I will definitely do things a little differently next year (even if the school doesn't).

 

[crisi]

It does get easier. And the second or third time you loose him on the bus, you and he will not be in such a panic. You'll still panic - but it won't be nearly as bad.

My daughter is a daydreamer. She also takes a different bus once a week to get to piano lessons. So she gets "lost" a couple times a year - generally getting off at the next stop (and having to walk eight houses instead of three) or getting on the wrong bus ("what are you doing home, you should be at piano" - or the piano teacher calling with "your daughter is here.") Only once has the bus driver had to change the route because she missed more than one stop.

 

[KAMKIM]

a funny little thing that helped my daughter...her favorite book was Pooh's Grand Adventure, in it Pooh messes up Christopher Robins words of wisdom and says funny things like instead of "you're smarter than you think" He'd say "your smarter when your pink" So her and I messed up the words and said "your braver when your pink" I would take my hand pretend to "spray paint" her pink each day before school....Now she is 8 and it brings tears to my eyes thinking about how that helped her go about her day...she truly believed she was braver after I sprayed her.

Also before she could read I put funny drawings in her lunch like a big fat head with DADDY written next to it, or I'd draw myself real tall and daddy real short...silly stuff so she knew even if she wasn't home....home was with her...