But how does planning prevent you from having that type of vacation? And without children, it's much easier to do a laid back trip. But if you're park focused, and you'd have to be for how you select what you're going to ride and how and when it's booked, then it's not relaxing regardless. I'm not talking about people who aren't heavily into rides, I'm talking about a typical vacationer- and I'm positive most people going to WDW are heavily focused on the parks.
See, I have to disagree with this. Before DVC, I was 100% that way. Disney was exhausting. I figured it always would be. I used to joke that I needed a vacation after my vacation.
But I consider myself a park person in general. I love the parks. I am not the kind of person who would visit a Marriot hotel and just relax in the pool and hot tub. Not my ball of wax. I also am not a beach person. Pre-pandemic, when I went to Disney, I would spend HOURS and HOURS planning and tweaking my FP+ selections, ADR's, and other activities.
I would hit the parks first thing in the morning. I would usually plan for a lunch, then be out of the park after lunch. In general I avoided the crowds. I might come back for a desert party. I would walk slowly (generally), take it in. If there was a new ride, I would usually skip it for the first trip or two to avoid the craziness. If I didn't get to do something, it was no big deal. I didn't get to do it - it helped knowing I had another trip already planned. It was pretty much set that I would be back and I would get to see it then.
When I get tired, I went back to the resort. Took a nap. Went to the pool Read a book. Maybe mozey on back to a park in the afternoon if I felt like it.
You don't get more relaxed than that.
Disney is not relaxing to many people because they make it that way. They generally make it that way because they want to see everything - or as much of everything as they can. When you let that go and decide you don't care if you see everything as long as you see something, WDW absolutely can become a relaxing vacation. With or without planning. This is much easier to do if you are DVC, AP, Local, or for some other reason not a once-in-a-while or once-in-a-lifetime guest.