Any reason NOT to include this info?

[C.Ann]

I'm backing to working on the memorial scrapbooks for my late DH's 5 children in hopes of getting them done in time for the first anniversary of his passing..

The scrapbooks will contain much more than photos and some of the items that I have photocopied include his social security number.. Is there any reason that I shouldn't include that info? I'm thinking it's fine, but nowadays, who knows?

Also - his oldest DD has suggested that I include a copy of his death certificate - as there may be pertinent information on there that his children will need later in life and with everyone scattered in different parts of the country we may eventually lose track of one another.. She has suggested making it the last page - where I'm more inclined to put it in an envelope and just tuck that inside the last page protector..

I'm also not sure what to do about the photos of his Memorial Service (no casket - he was cremated).. They basically show the large photo of him with the urn (rectangular shape) and the folded American flag - as well as the large Memorial Boards we set up with photos of him and everyone dear to him throughout his life; his military awards; work awards; etc.. Leave them out? Put them in an envelope?

If it were your dad, what would you want to be included? What would you want left out?

 

[mickeyboat]

SS# - don't display it in the book. I am sure the kids wouldn't do anything bad with it, but they might show it to someone who is not trustworthy. It is good info for the kids to have, so tuck it in.

Death certificate - that's a tough one. Personally, I would not want to see that in the book, I'd rather have the book as a memory my dad's life, not his death. But I think giving them a copy is a great idea, so tuck it in.

Memorial photos - even though I said no the the death certificate, I would say yes to the photos. The memoriall service was a celebration of his life, espeically the Memorial Boards, so I would want a copy of that in the book.

Hope this helps.

Denae

 

[casey49781]

i would include all that stuff folded in a envelope at the end of the book ,social security card ,death cert, birth cert, if avalible,,,that way they have all information for the future that they may need ,since that is there father,,,,by the way that is very nice of you to do that for them,,,,

 

[Pam]

SS# - don't display it in the book. I am sure the kids wouldn't do anything bad with it, but they might show it to someone who is not trustworthy. It is good info for the kids to have, so tuck it in.

Death certificate - that's a tough one. Personally, I would not want to see that in the book, I'd rather have the book as a memory my dad's life, not his death. But I think giving them a copy is a great idea, so tuck it in.

Memorial photos - even though I said no the the death certificate, I would say yes to the photos. The memoriall service was a celebration of his life, espeically the Memorial Boards, so I would want a copy of that in the book.

Hope this helps.

Denae

I agree with everything Denae said!

You can make a fancy pocket envelope on a page and include the SS# and death certificate in there.

I think the Memorial Service photos would be very nice.

 

[C.Ann]

Memorial photos - even though I said no the the death certificate, I would say yes to the photos. The memoriall service was a celebration of his life, espeically the Memorial Boards, so I would want a copy of that in the book.

Hope this helps.

Denae

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Wow! This answer surprises me - because this is the one issue I have struggled the hardest with.. Just wasn't sure if it was appropriate or not.. It's good to know that there's someone out there who wouldn't find it upsetting if it was their dad.. I know it wouldn't upset me (for my dad or my DH) but over the years there have been so many deaths in my family I just tend to handle things differently than some others might..

I know I could just call - and ask them - but I really wanted the books to be a surprise and that's why I've only been running ideas past his oldest DD..

 

[C.Ann]

SS# - don't display it in the book. I am sure the kids wouldn't do anything bad with it, but they might show it to someone who is not trustworthy. It is good info for the kids to have, so tuck it in.

Denae

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Oh - and just out of curiosity, what could anyone do with this info now that he's deceased?

It's on SO many of the things I wanted to include - his driver's license; ALL of his military papers (discharge; awards; mustering out; etc.) - even the PTA card he had from years and years ago..

 

[rascalmom]

I agree with everything Mickeyboat suggested. We just went through this with my dh's stepdad. One of the step-brothers had but together a very similar scrapbook - he had actually done it before his dad passed away, but when the family was all gathered after the funeral he was planning on adding pictures from the memorial service.

The only disappointing thing was that he had only made one copy of all of this - so now nearly a year later, we are still trying to get a copy for dh & mil. It is wonderful of you to do this for everyone!

 

[CamColt]

I dont now about displaying the SS#, but definitely make sure the children have it and keep it. Also, any papers showing them as his heirs, any legal stuff, be sure to have.

We have had a situation here where we have recently come across a few accounts with money in them, that belonged my DH's grandparents. DH's father was their only child and he passed away about 3 years ago. DH's mother is also deceased. DH and his brother should be entitled to this money that keeps showing up on "Abandoned Property" lists, but because they dont have the proper documentation, there is nothing they can do. This money is going to sit there forever because no one else would (or should) have the documentation either.

 

[Kirby]

A reason for not displaying his SS# is if a dishonest person were to see and get his SS#, they could use it. That's how people create other identities, taking people's information that have passed on.

 

[safetymom]

My brother in law took pictures of my late husband in the casket. I don't ever want to see those photos. But what you described would be great in the memorial books.

 

[Planogirl]

This is such a wonderful idea! I wish that I had something like this for my Dad.

As for what to include, I would also seal up the ss no. and the death certificate. I'm not totally sure about the ss no. but if there's any chance that someone underhanded could fool with the benefits he left behind, it's probably a good idea not to display it. Plus, I agree that the death certificate is too gloomy to have on display or at least I think that it would be for me.

 

[SleepyMom]

I also agree about putting the SS # and death certificate in an envelope, that way they will have it as needed, but it won't be available to just anyone.

The only reason I can think of not wanting just anyone to have that info is so it's not abused. I have heard stories of people using an old SS# to claim a new identity.

Adding the memorial pictures is a good idea, a nice way to end the book.

What a very nice idea for his children, I hope they will appreciate what you are doing for them. Are you also making one for your DGD?

 

[Fantasmic303]

My beloved Gram died last fall (October 2004), and she was a very special part of my sisters' and my life. My mom was also very close to her, so, for her first birthday spent in Heaven, my sisters and I did a scrapbook of her life to present to my mom. It was Gram the way we knew her, photos from her life before us, photos with my mom, and pages for each of us, her "3 Angels", as she liked to say. On the final page, we did a collage of "Gram things" - scraps from her curtains and doilies (which she had crocheted), a pocket from her favorite shirt, a lock of her hair, a small baggie of the perfumed powder she wore, her driver's license, etc. My mom was thrilled with it, and I think we've all gone back and looked through it when we're really missing her.


The one part of her life that we didn't include was the ending. I took photos at her service of the flowers, memorial board, even of her in the casket, as well as her graveside after the burial. They're in a collection with pictures of her house that I took before we started going through it to prepare for the realtor.

Soon after all of that, we realized how much "leftover" stuff we had - photos, clippings, official documents - so my mom decided to build her own scrapbook with all of that. My sisters and I were intrigued by the documents from Gram's past - including our grandfather's death certificate, medical records, marriage license, etc - so those will definitely be in there. As someone suggested, you may choose to fold them into envelopes, but I hope that you'll decide to include them. My mom also intends to use the photos I took from the wake and funeral as part of the final chapter of Gram's scrapbook.

I say include them, somehow, even the death certificate. Also, if you can, make sure you put something in there with his handwriting, because that's something that time may make you forget, but is so special in remembering your loved ones. I will always treasure the last birthday card my Gram sent to me.

Anyway, it's a great idea, and I'm sure the books will be treasured heirlooms for your children.

 

[C.Ann]

Boy - this really creates a problem.. So much of the really "important" stuff - the stuff that shows who and what he was in his life - how he fought in the war for his country - etc., includes his SS#.. I wonder if I could do some "layering" - that would cover just the SS#?

If my DH had been buried in a casket, I definitely would NOT include those photos unless they were asked for.. I think the Memorial Service photos will be okay though.. Now I wish I had thought to have my son-in-law take photos during the interment with full military honors..

There's nothing anywhere - money; estate; beneifits; that anyone else could gain access to that would harm me in any way - so I guess it's basically not to make it easy for someone else to establish a new identity for whatever reason - corrrect?

Even when these books are "finished", they won't really be finished.. There is so much more that I could include that I can't get to right now because it's buried in totes in two different attics here at my DD's house, but I was thinking that as I come across more items I'll make more pages and just send them on to the kids..

Thanks for the input!

 

[AFMom]

I lost both parents about 5 years ago now, and I really thing the memorial service photos would be nice at the end of the book. I do think the death cert should be in an envelope, though, as it may contain some disconcerting info. Perhaps have a page thet introduces the fact that the next pages will include those pictures, docs, etc. Was there some sort of Memorial Service program given out? Or perhaps print out the lyrics to a song, or a poem. That would make a nice transition - and if someone wants to stop looking at that point they can without running into a picture they don't want to see.

 

[we3disneygo]

this is such a nice idea...very thoughtful

 

[Sparx]

I think this is a great idea. The death certificate will probably be needed, so I would just tuck that in somewhere. He ss number is a tough one. That is how identity theft is done, so I don't know if I would put that in. If it is on other stuff, thats fine, but I would just put a copy of his card in there.