Any other DISers trying to concieve? Reread OP for the QOTD!

[skuttle]

Elaine...Great pictures from the u/s!

Rebecca...Welcome back!

Lisa...Good luck on Wednesday.

Well, ladies, my biggest TTC fear has come true...my best friend, DS's godparents, are pregnant with their second. She's due in March. I'm crushed. I can't stop crying. I feel like such an awful friend. She emailed us because her SIL put something on her myspace page and my friend didn't want us to find out from someone else. I read the email and immediately deleted it. And then started crying. I just can't respond right now. I'm really glad she didn't call or invite us over...I would have felt awful having a break down in front of them during their happy time. I'm not sure how I'm going to be strong enough to handle this. I just don't know if I can. I feel like the worst friend in the world right now, but I just can't respond right now. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to send a quick congrats email. I don't know. I hate this.

 

[DisneyDreamer8]

Allison: I'm so sorry.

 

[2bemarried]

Dznylvr keep us updated.

Allison I know it's so difficult to deal with this sort of thing. Just remember that you can't control your hormones and it's okay to cry.

Rebecca....let's sing it together "relax, relax, relax" now repeat 50 times

I just took my trigger shot

off to do the post trigger shot dance with hubby (I'm not sure why they suggest this when doing ivf but I'm not going to object).

He's already told me that starting tomorrow any dancing of any sort is out of the question until after my beta test

 

[helenabear]

Allison I wish I knew the right words to say...

Lisa, fingers crossed for you on Weds! I do hope it's nothing to worry about.

Woo hoo Kristy!!!

Rebecca, have you had any symptoms at all yet? Truthfully with this pregnancy I had nearly no symptoms at all until about 6-7 weeks. My stomach was the first to bug me, and then just about 7 weeks my bbs started KILLING me. That lasted until about 10-11 weeks and they gradually faded to a slight hurt that they are now. So if you haven't had any so far, don't worry yet. You may get lucky and have nothing or it may not have hit you yet. You're still early I can't wait to see pics from your first ultrasound. They look like cute little aliens then Oh and I looked up what your trailer should look like... very nice! I wouldn't mind traveling like that!

 

[skuttle]

Thanks, y'all. I think I may try to call my dr tomorrow to see if there's anyway to move up my appt. After the news today, I just don't think I can handle any of this anymore.

 

[Gurgi]

Allison, I'm so sorry Big hugs to you.






Elaine, awesome US pics!

 

[DisneyDreamer8]

[/FONT]
Rebecca, have you had any symptoms at all yet? Truthfully with this pregnancy I had nearly no symptoms at all until about 6-7 weeks. My stomach was the first to bug me, and then just about 7 weeks my bbs started KILLING me. That lasted until about 10-11 weeks and they gradually faded to a slight hurt that they are now. So if you haven't had any so far, don't worry yet. You may get lucky and have nothing or it may not have hit you yet. You're still early I can't wait to see pics from your first ultrasound. They look like cute little aliens then Oh and I looked up what your trailer should look like... very nice! I wouldn't mind traveling like that!

Well I am very bloated, tired, lots of CM and if I don't eat I get light headed. The week I got the positive I had strange cramps and was queasy one morning. My nips are a little sensitive off and on but that is it. To be honest I would love some real symptoms just to let me know things are ok....I know it's early but I'm OCD like that

I love our little trailer. I've been camping all my life so it was natural for DH and I to get an RV. This is a pic from the day I picked it up:

 

[skuttle]

Rebecca, Cool RV! We camped a bit when I was little and my DH's family did it a lot, even after he left home. They camped a lot at WDW! DH's dream is to retire, buy one of those huge RV's that you drive, and then travel the country. Guess we should start playing the lottery! LOL!


Last night was pretty rough. I think I cried off and on all night. I just couldn't stop. So this morning, I'm sitting here with ice on my eyes because they are so red and swollen! I feel sick to my stomach over all of this. I thought I was doing better, and then this happened and I just feel so hopeless. What if I can't get pregnant and then I can't get over it? What if I'm depressed for the rest of my life about this? I'm so afraid that will happen. My friend got pregnant both times the first month they tried...it's just not fair. I know, I know...I sound like a little child and many of you are probably thinking that I need to get over it. Trust me, I wish that I could. I wish I was strong enough. This was the ONE thing I did not want to happen. I don't know how to handle this. I want to be happy for them, but I'm not sure that I can be. Okay...the last thing I need to do right now is to start crying again. I should probaby just get ready for work and try to put this out of my mind for a while...easier said than done, of course.

 

[mickeyboat]

Allison - I am so sorry. It is so hard to see everyone else around you pregnant when you are so desperate to be yourself. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to move up your appointment. I felt better when I was actually doing something, like I had some control over the situation.

I say this with love, but I think it might be a good idea for you to talk to your doctor and see if there is someone you can talk to about this - a counselor or support group. I think your feelings are completely normal and understandable, but they are really consuming you. Do you think there is something like that in your area? Of course, all of us are here to support you, too.

Rebecca - I had no symptoms to speak of when I was pregnant with Hannah. I called the doctor several times complaining about it, and it is normal for many women to have few symptoms. Enjoy it!

Carla - I am sorry bf is not working out for you. It is really hard. I had very low supply at first with both kids. Eventually it came in well, but by the time they were about 6 months old, it went down again. I tried everything, but ended up supplementing with and eventually switching to formula.

Kristy - good luck!!!

Lisa - I am keeping my fingers crossed that all is well with your u/s. I am glad you are consulting a surgeon as well.

If anyone was counting on me to get AF for them this month - she is here with a vengeance!

The kids had a blast yesterday swimming, and it was relaxing for me, too. Tonight we are going to a friend's house to visit with someone here from out of town. I need to go shopping to figure out what I am going to wear tomorrow for the pictures they are taking for our website. I thought summer was supposed to be relaxing!

Denae

 

[skuttle]

Thanks Denae. I take no offense to your suggestion at all, I have been thinking the same thing. I will give myself time to let the news of my friend's pregnancy sink in, and see where things stand after my appt. I think I've just hit bottom with all of this and I really believe my appt in August will help me a lot. Like you said, I'll feel like I'm doing something about it.

I just called my doctor but I can't push up my appt. It's scheduled just as an annual so there are no openings. Her next available is in October, so I'm definitely NOT canceling my August appt...AF or not, I'm going!

I'm not sure how to approach my friend's pregnancy. Like I've said, she's my best friend. She knows nothing about our TTC problems. Well, she may have some idea. I mentioned to her when we were starting to TTC so she knows it's been about a year. No one knows about the chemical pregnancy though...well, one of my coworkers does because she caught me crying yesterday. I hate to ruin her happiness by now bringing up all of my problems. After my appt in August, when we get a new game plan, I was going to tell my friends. I hate to do it now, though. I don't want to ruin her time. DH thinks I should tell her so that she'll understand. I don't know.

 

[WDWAurora]

I almost think that you'll do the best thing for her (as well as yourself) if you tell her. That way she won't wonder why you're not as excited as she thinks you should be, etc. She'll understand if you can't be involved in some of the things that you might otherwise be, etc.

I'm sorry skuttle. I'm sure going in August will help some. I think it's a good plan to give it a little time to sink in, then reevaluating.

 

[7beasley]

Hugs to you Allison -- I know how hard this is.

I am thinking about you!

Congrats on the great ultrasound Elaine!

Hugs to all!!

-Nicole

 

[helenabear]

Allison, I am sorry you can't move up your appt, but I admit I agree with Denae. I do think it is time to talk to someone. Not even a professional, but it sounds like hardly any one outside of this group knows what you are going through? Please correct me if I am wrong.

While online is great, having someone to hug you when you are down is an amazing thing. Try to remove yourself from your best friend right now... as in think of her w/o putting your emotions behind it. She is your best friend, right? You normally would be very happy for her, wouldn't you? Other than you feeling the pangs of not being pregnant, what would be stopping you from congratulating her? Not being harsh, but just something to think on before you reply to her. And honestly, I would BE HONEST and tell her EVERYTHING you have been going through. My friend Rene and I have both been pregnant twice and lost a baby all w/in the last year. She's due next month and yes, the first time she was pregnant it stung so much I wanted to cry. She knew it though and *totally* understood. She was very quiet about pregnancy talk with me. Most of what I was told, I asked for and when she miscarried, my heart broke for her. She cried rigth with me when I miscarried as well. While I had everyone here, knowing I had a real friend in it all who would talk and listen. Even when we literally flip flopped with who was pregnant we could talk.

I am sure talking with her will do you both good. I would not do it in e-mail or even over the phone. Take a girls day with her and just chat when you can. Congratulate her as best as you can immediately and then bring up your issues another day (invite her to lunch or something). You may find that she might have some words of advice too.

But in general as painful as it is to talk about TTC and pregnancy loss (and a chemical pregnancy is still a loss IMO) it really has helped me to talk to other people. Knowing it took us almost a year of true TTC and then losing the baby after that... it was so hard. I am not lying when I cried every day for a month straight. It felt nearly as bad as when I lost my mom at 16. So find your group to talk to in person. A hug or holding hand or even just seeing the face of someone who understands really helped me too.s

Done rambling now And I truly hope I didn't hurt or offend

Rebecca, honestly you sound about like I did at the first part. Like I said I didn't feel any symptoms until about 6-7 weeks along. You are still early. And hey, count your blessings if you don't feel many symptoms. Only 50% of all women get morning sickness (give or take a little). You may be a lucky one! And with the good Beta numbers you had, I wouldn't worrry.
Yeah okay, look who is talking... ms. worry wart me... trust me it's not worth the gray hairs on your head that I got if you can avoid it

I do love the pic of your RV! We used to have a pop up camper when I was a kid and thought that was great. But to have a *real* bathroom would be a bonus. A friend of mine is looking at Class B RVs and OMG are they expensive for how little they are!!! I would take your trailer any day over that and we have told her as much. You can get so much more bang for your buck by getting one like yours. For her to take a shower she has to sit on the toiled I'd rather use camp facilities than that!!!

Gurgi, how are you doing? I hope you are hanging in there with the last part of the 2ww

 

[2bemarried]

Allison

Everything Elaine said is so right. Having a friend in the real world to hug and cry with really does help. My best friend Patti is always my shoulder when I need it. She was there for me when ivf #1 was cancelled and she's been there with me through every step of this one. She got pregnant the first month she tried so she doesn't know what it's like to deal with infertility. However, she's read every link that I've sent her about ivf and infertility. She takes it in and knows exactly what I'm dealing with.

Your friend is pregnant yes but she may very well have had complications and I'm sure that as a best friend she will be there to support you and do what she can for you.

 

[Gurgi]

I am not getting hopes up, but I'll describe what's going on right now.

AF is scheduled to appear this Sunday (5 days away). I took a test this morning, but it was a BFN...but I am not going to take that one to heart because I know I'm still 5 days from getting my cycle. It boggles my mind how some women get a BFP 7 DPO while others have to wait until 15 DPO.

My bewbies are very, very sore when I have a bra on, and they feel a million times better without a bra. I've been very crampy the last couple of days. Like I said, I don't know if it's a positive thing...or a scary AF on her way.

 

[DisneyDreamer8]

Allison: A great big to you. I really hope you can be honest with your friend about how you are feeling. I know it is a scary thing to talk about when you don't know what their reaction will be but sometimes you just need to make a leap of faith that they will understand.

As for traveling during retirement it sounds good to me. My folks always said the same thing and they bought a 35ft 5th-wheel but my Dad has been doing so much consulting work that I don't know when they will get the chance.

Elaine: Thanks for the reassurance. I guess I should count myself lucky and be happy. I don't need to worry about the gray hairs...I have red hair so mine will be white instead

Yeah RV's can be expensive but after my DH and I were married we tried to tent camp a couple of times but I just couldn't do it. I want my bathroom!!! So we saved and got a great deal on our little trailer and I never have to tent camp again.

Denae: Sorry AF is being so hard on you. I'm glad you and your girls had a wonderful time swimming. I used to love being in the water during the summer but most of my swimming was done in lakes. Now I have come to hate putting sunscreen on so I stay on the shore in the shade.

Gurgi: I didn't hold out much hope last cycle either but I got my BFP. I did wait until 14dpo so I would not have to look at another BFN. And if I had not had an IUI I probably wouldn't have tested until AF was late. I have come to believe that you just never know....

 

[2bemarried]

Gurgi I'm still sending you baby dust. Keep those positive thoughts up. I do hope that AF isn't headed to you.

Rebecca I think it's great you and dh have something like camping that you enjoy together. The pics of your camper are great.

Let's all sing the relax song today

 

[TinkerChelle]

Rebecca-Glad u had a good trip. I am no camper but I might be able to handle an RV trip to Disney! sticky baby dust for U!!!

dznylover2005-Hope u feel better soon!

Allison BIG HUG! I know if my best friend was pregnant right now, I would be devestated, too. But, I agree talking to her is a good idea...after all she is your best friend for a reason, right?

Kirsty-Good luck! Enjoy your dance!

Gurgi---Baby Dust for you! Try and stay calm and focused on good thoughts!

I start my clomid this week. We will be doing an IUI on day #14 and an IUI on day #15 this cycle. Just found out that our donor is no longer available. We need to pick a new donor within the next 24 hours. No Pressure! Maybe a new donor will be luckier...or faster...or whatever

 

[LisaB]

I am so sorry Skuttle it is so hard when those things happen.

 

[skuttle]

Thanks everyone. I actually don't have any close friends here. My best friend that's pregnant lives an hour away. My other best friend moved to Florida to teach about a year or so ago. One of my other close friends lives 1.5 hours away. I haven't told them because, like I've said before, I knew that they may be TTC soon and I didn't want to ruin it for them or have them be afraid to tell me if they got pregnant before me. I was planning on telling them after my August appt so that I had the new game plan. I think I will still wait until then, that way it won't be right after my friend's announcement.

My friend in Florida I've been friends with since 3rd grade, my pregnant friend since 4th grade, and the other friend since high school. We all went to college together, too.

I haven't talked to my mom because, well, she'll annoy me. lol! She worries a lot and I just don't want to deal with her.

I did open up to a coworker yesterday after she caught me crying. She's the only person, other than DH, that I've talked to about it all. Some of my cousins know it's been taking us a while, but I haven't discussed the sadness of it all with anyone other than DH.