Any of your kids live at home and commute to college?

[gwynne]

My parents had 5 rules for us
#1 - don't piss off mom
#2 - no hitting
#3 - you are going to college
#4 - you are paying for college
#5 - you cannot live at home while you are going to college (except over the summer)
All 7 of us never hit each other (hard to believe but true)- went away to college (6 to grad school-1 has a PH.D.) - and paid for it ourselves.
You learn so much more than what is in the books when you're not living at home - coping and people skills that you need to be successful out in the 'real' world.

I hope it's OK to add another point to your list.
#6- Become familiar with the rules and requirements of FAFSA. There are specific rules about how college costs are funded. It's no longer like the good 'ole days. (For those that saw them that way...)

 

[DawnM]

My parents had 5 rules for us
#1 - don't piss off mom
#2 - no hitting
#3 - you are going to college
#4 - you are paying for college
#5 - you cannot live at home while you are going to college (except over the summer)
All 7 of us never hit each other (hard to believe but true)- went away to college (6 to grad school-1 has a PH.D.) - and paid for it ourselves.
You learn so much more than what is in the books when you're not living at home - coping and people skills that you need to be successful out in the 'real' world.

Do you have the same rules for your children and how old are your children?

My father paid for med school to the tune of $3K per year in the late 50s. It is now $40K for in state residents (and we are talking tuition only, not room and board) He actually lived with his parents while in med school.

Not sure it is as easy now.

 

[kamik86]

It really depends on the child and the circumstances. Our oldest wouldn't consider staying home, she wouldn't even consider any school in our state! She chose Boston, and has been thriving there. We've moved further away, so she can no longer come home for a quick weekend, but we're all okay with that.

OTOH, DS19 didn't know what he wanted to do (still doesn't). He started at the local community college, lives at home, and commutes by bus (he doesn't have his driver's license). This works for him. He's, shall we say, slow to mature, moving away from home would have been a disaster. His CC has many good programs, and feeds into the state schools--if he goes that route, he can also commute to a branch of the 4-year state school, and still stay local. In fact, the 4-year school is slightly closer than the community college.

One thing that I've noticed, and this is purely anecdotal, but it seems like people in the Northeast are more inclined to look at CC as a "lesser" option. Maybe because there are just so many colleges in the Northeast, I don't know. But here in NC, it's just considered one decent option out of many. Also, it seems like in the South, students are more likely to stay in their home state, if not their home town, for college. When I mention my DD's studying in Boston, people think I sound so exotic. Back in NH, nobody would bat an eye at attending college in Boston. I thought Boston's reputation as being a big college town was well-known, but maybe not.

In live in Western MA and I think part of that is that it seems the larger states down south have more state pride then the little ones up here where its very common to know and have friends in 4 states that you see regularly, have coworkers in your same office building that live in three states, work in a state other then the one you live in, have lived in multiple states etc. I could hop in my car now and be in any of 4 different states in an hour. I could add another 2 states if you give me 2 hours.

As for community college I don't know about all areas but at the time I graduated high school the "local" (still 45 min away) community college was under investigation by the state to lose all its funding because of such poor graduation rates and education.

This was a contrast from the upstate NY community where I went to school in which some took their general ed classes at the community college for a cheaper option while still being enrolled in our 4 year school, partially due to cost and partially due to thinking our teachers were way too hard in some of those lower level math and science classes they were doing that with.

 

[TCRAIG]

Do you have the same rules for your children and how old are your children?

My father paid for med school to the tune of $3K per year in the late 50s. It is now $40K for in state residents (and we are talking tuition only, not room and board) He actually lived with his parents while in med school.

Not sure it is as easy now.

I just have one daughter - but yes -same rules....except for the paying part. We did help with the cost of her undergrad and law degrees.

 

[DawnM]

I just have one daughter - but yes -same rules....except for the paying part. We did help with the cost of her undergrad and law degrees.

Well, the paying part is HUGE!

 

[soccerdad72]

I just have one daughter - but yes -same rules....except for the paying part. We did help with the cost of her undergrad and law degrees.

With an only child, I would imagine the 'no hitting' rule was easier too.

 

[DawnM]

With an only child, I would imagine the 'no hitting' rule was easier too.

Well, now, you never know.......

HAHAHA!

 

[gwynne]

Well, the paying part is HUGE!

Exactly. Not sure how he was planning for her to even get in the door without him assisting with that "piddly" detail.

 

[MIGrandma]

It's been several years, but my DD went to Central Michigan University. She started out living in the dorm, but hated it. At Christmas her first year she didn't want to go back to the dorm, so she lived at home and commuted the rest of the time. I didn't mind, it was her choice. She wasn't able to get her room and board cost back for that year, that was the only downside. Living on campus is not a good fit for ALL college kids. She was still involved in things (worked for the college newspaper, took an extra-curricular photography class, etc.) at school, but just prefered home life to the crazy dorm life.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My son lives at home while going to college. He and I (not his dad) would have preferred he live in a dorm, but it just didn't make financial sense (his school is in our town). There have been no problems, but I think he'd be doing better if he were immersed in the school environment.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Our oldest lived at home and commuted for the first 4 years of college. Once he found a job and was settled at his new location he started attending a college there to continue his graduate work. He's never done the "dorm life" thing, but our other two did. I really don't think either are better prepared or less prepared based on that experience. There certainly are pros and cons to each, but I think those are more a personal preference thing, and not a win/lose thing.

 

[CPanther95]

I hope it's OK to add another point to your list.
#6- Become familiar with the rules and requirements of FAFSA. There are specific rules about how college costs are funded. It's no longer like the good 'ole days. (For those that saw them that way...)

FAFSA should really be a four letter word. I consider it more of an "F-word" than the other one.

All 3 of mine stayed at home through graduation. My 2 daughters enrolled at the same time and they were 16 & 17, so we wanted them at home at least for the first year or 2. My son chose to stay at home.

The only catch is cars become mandatory and your house has a 24hr. schedule. No more expectations that you're going to be buttoning up the house for the night at midnight or 1am.

 

[daughtersrus]

My DD'S went to community college for 2 years to get their AA. We paid for that. They then transfered to a state school about 1 1/2 hours away. They each lived in a dorm for 1 1/2 years. They both chose to major in SpEd. The oldest was able to get a tuition waiver and only took loans to cover dorm/food. Our second DD was not awarded the waiver until her last semester. She had to take loans to cover dorm, food and tuition for 1 1/2 semesters.
They each choose to move back home for Field Based and Student Teaching because they ultimately wanted to teach in the Chicago suburbs and wanted to make as many connections here prior to graduating.
Both of them were able to get teaching positions in local school districts right after their December graduations (2009 and 2012)

 

[Vijoge]

My boys lived at home and "commuted" the five blocks to a local, private university. DH was working there at the time, and free tuition was one of his benefits. Oldest son played football for the University and worked there over the summer. Younger son also worked there during the summers. We did tell them if they wanted to live on campus we would pay but they both declined.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Our son is at CC. In fact, he is there right now.

For us it makes the most sense. And the most cents. Tuition for him, with books, is about $1,500 a semester.

For the university that is 5 minutes away? They are $10,000. Plus books. Plus room and board.

Why pay almost 10 times more?

When he finishes at the CC, he is guaranteed acceptance to the university. And he can live at home.

 

[QueenIsabella]

In live in Western MA and I think part of that is that it seems the larger states down south have more state pride then the little ones up here where its very common to know and have friends in 4 states that you see regularly, have coworkers in your same office building that live in three states, work in a state other then the one you live in, have lived in multiple states etc. I could hop in my car now and be in any of 4 different states in an hour. I could add another 2 states if you give me 2 hours.

As for community college I don't know about all areas but at the time I graduated high school the "local" (still 45 min away) community college was under investigation by the state to lose all its funding because of such poor graduation rates and education.

This was a contrast from the upstate NY community where I went to school in which some took their general ed classes at the community college for a cheaper option while still being enrolled in our 4 year school, partially due to cost and partially due to thinking our teachers were way too hard in some of those lower level math and science classes they were doing that with.

That may well be part of it. FTR, we lived in Keene, NH, and Dh worked at the (now defunct) nuclear power plant in VT. To visit my BIL/SIL in CT, we'd travel 2 hours and hit 4 states. And what I find really funny down here is, if I refer to this (NC) as the "south", I'm immediately "corrected" with the line, "This isn't the south--we're NORTH Carolina!" Well, okay, but for a girl who came from New England, um, yeah, this is the south! (People think my kids are exotic because they've been skiing!)

Back on topic, I really think the important thing is knowing the child you have in front of you. Some kids are ready to fly at 18, really want to strike out and test their independence. That should be encouraged in any way possible (with the understanding that finances are an important part of the picture). OTOH, some kids just aren't ready to strike out on their own, or don't see a clear path. Such young adults might be better off at a community college or fairly inexpensive/close by state school, with a large variety of majors and Mom and Dad fairly close.

 

[Coonhound]

My son goes to a community college about 15 minutes away

 

[DawnM]

My boys lived at home and "commuted" the five blocks to a local, private university. DH was working there at the time, and free tuition was one of his benefits. Oldest son played football for the University and worked there over the summer. Younger son also worked there during the summers. We did tell them if they wanted to live on campus we would pay but they both declined.

That is a huge plus!

 

[Vijoge]

Do you have the same rules for your children and how old are your children?

My father paid for med school to the tune of $3K per year in the late 50s. It is now $40K for in state residents (and we are talking tuition only, not room and board) He actually lived with his parents while in med school.

Not sure it is as easy now.

It wasn't really all that easy then. $3000 in 1958 was about $25,000 in 2016 dollars. Not quite $40,00, but not cheap, either.

 

[Vijoge]

That is a huge plus!

Yeah, he never made a lot of money but the benefits were outstanding, especially for anyone with kids.