Any not do Christmas presents for adults?

[eeyoremum]

Just wondering with all the Christmas gift threads if anyone choose not to give/receive gifts? Not because of the economy or religious beliefs but just because? DH and I stopped exchanging years ago (at least 10 or more). Generally if we want something we will buy it. I hate shopping so its great.

I much prefer a nice time spending time with people, have a nice dinner or whatever.

To me Christmas has become so commercial that we forget to enjoy the holiday. Just because the calendar says December 25th does not mean that I expect a gift to be given or received.

Just wondering if I am as strange as most people think I am.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

DH and I stopped buying for each other maybe 4 or 5 years ago. It relieved so much stress, that we haven't bought anything since. Like you, if we see something we like throughout the year, we get it. The only adults we buy for are my dad (I'm the only child) and his parents. His mother passed this summer so we will just have his dad to buy for.

It helped financially and it was just SO NICE to not have to worry about pleasing him as far as gifts go. I don't think you are strange at all...the way I see it, you and I are the smart ones!

 

[jillyb]

DH and I stopped buying for each other when our DD was born. Now we just buy for the girls.

His family used to draw names but now we do the Chinese ornament exchange. It's always a good time watching people get cut throat over cheap Christmas ornaments!

 

[Darcy03231]

DH and I stopped buying for each other years ago. If we see something we want we just get it. We also don't exchange gifts with our siblings anymore either. We just buy for the nieces and nephews.

 

[C.Ann]

Very limited on the adult end here.. Adult children, my widowed sister, and my mom.. DD's IL's and I decided to stop exchanging several years ago..

All other adults may get Christmas cookies or something of that nature, but buying? No.. Way too many people and everyone was in agreement.. It really makes the holidays a lot more pleasant (and stress-free) for everyone..

 

[lakelandgal70]

I think having dinner with the ones you love and spending time together is much more important than gifts. During this time of the year there is so much stress put on people to buy that "perfect" gift. It really is ridiculous! It is just stuff. The memories are what matter.

 

[Pakey]

DH and I have been married for 26 years and have never exchanged gifts.

I buy everything I want for myself and I dislike receiving gifts; I don't exchange with my adult children, my parents, etc.

My husband and I do buy for our one grandchild. We give cash to our adult children in cards; no gifts.

It's the same with birthdays, mother's day, father's day, etc.

 

[Robinrs]

Nothing but adults in my family and we all exchange gifts except my sister who is a Jehovah's witness.

 

[simba20]

Well I like buying presents for people, however.......

Last year, the hubster and I ALMOST decided not to buy anything for my in-laws.

Christmas 2008, the hubster and I decided to buy digital picture frames for the entire family that we had to buy for. This included MIL&FIL#1, MIL&FIL#2, Hubster's aunt and uncle, hubster's grandfather (mother's side), and hubster's grandmother (father's side). So we buy the frames and I get them all set up with appropriate pics of DD(3) with the person who is receiving the frame (i.e MIL&FIL#1 with pics of DD, and so on for each receipient). With each frame I bough SD cards to load pcitures on to. For the grandparents who wouldn't get this technology, I send them a new memory card every few months of pics of DD (their great granddaughter). For the anut and uncle, I put on a few pics and then told them, that it was really for them to load with their family pics. Everyone loved it. So what's the problem?

Well a day or so after Christmas, FIL#1 (husbter's step-father) is stewing about the frame. Since the frames were pretty pricey we gave the frame to MIL and FIL as a joint gift and then each got them something individual and small. The day after Christmas, the hubster and I hit a few after Christmas sales and the hubster bought his dad (FIL#2) a car wash gift kit that was marked down 50%, because we did not get his dad an individual gift as we did for MIL&FIL#1 We were having Christmas with his father a few days later.

So we arrive home and FIL#1 asks us what deals we got and the hubster mentions buying this car wash kit for his dad (intended to be from the both of us). That set FIL#1 over the edge. He did not talk to the hubster for the rest of our holiday stay. On our last day, he meekly tried to apologize.

His beef was, that was CHEAPED out by buying them a joint gift and not individual gifts. Also, FIL#1 felt that my husband should have bought something specifically FOR HIS MOTHER just from him (from son to mother), all because he thought that the car wash kit was a special gift from SON to FATHER and did not know it was meant as another joint, small gift to go to FIL#2.

Needless to say, that trip was not a good one, and we still felt the tension as we arrived home. I also gave my mom a picture frame as a joint gift from us, and some PJs. Whn I told her the story, she told me that she NEVER has the expectation that husbter and I would buy her a gift, just having her at our house to celebrate the holiday or visiting her is a gift enough. She said she gets more satisfaction from watching DD open gifts than getting gifts herself.

So last year, the hubster and I waited until the last minute to purchase gifts for MIL&FIL#1 (his mom and step-dad). We knew what we were going to buy them, just waited on buying them their INDIVIDUAL presents. Anyway, we seriously considered giving them another joint gift, a holiday card, which would have read "Due to your behavior last year of not appreciating the thoughtfulness of the gift we picked out for you, we decided to take the money we would have used on your gift and make a donation to (insert charitable cause)."

Anyway, it was a thought, but we DIDN'T do it. We sucked it up and bought them individual gifts. Because of the whole individual gifts thing, they always get more than any other extended family member we are close to.

 

[Robinrs]

Well I like buying presents for people, however.......

Last year, the hubster and I ALMOST decided not to buy anything for my in-laws.

Christmas 2008, the hubster and I decided to buy digital picture frames for the entire family that we had to buy for. This included MIL&FIL#1, MIL&FIL#2, Hubster's aunt and uncle, hubster's grandfather (mother's side), and hubster's grandmother (father's side). So we buy the frames and I get them all set up with appropriate pics of DD(3) with the person who is receiving the frame (i.e MIL&FIL#1 with pics of DD, and so on for each receipient). With each frame I bough SD cards to load pcitures on to. For the grandparents who wouldn't get this technology, I send them a new memory card every few months of pics of DD (their great granddaughter). For the anut and uncle, I put on a few pics and then told them, that it was really for them to load with their family pics. Everyone loved it. So what's the problem?

Well a day or so after Christmas, FIL#1 (husbter's step-father) is stewing about the frame. Since the frames were pretty pricey we gave the frame to MIL and FIL as a joint gift and then each got them something individual and small. The day after Christmas, the hubster and I hit a few after Christmas sales and the hubster bought his dad (FIL#2) a car wash gift kit that was marked down 50%, because we did not get his dad an individual gift as we did for MIL&FIL#1 We were having Christmas with his father a few days later.

So we arrive home and FIL#1 asks us what deals we got and the hubster mentions buying this car wash kit for his dad (intended to be from the both of us). That set FIL#1 over the edge. He did not talk to the hubster for the rest of our holiday stay. On our last day, he meekly tried to apologize.

His beef was, that was CHEAPED out by buying them a joint gift and not individual gifts. Also, FIL#1 felt that my husband should have bought something specifically FOR HIS MOTHER just from him (from son to mother), all because he thought that the car wash kit was a special gift from SON to FATHER and did not know it was meant as another joint, small gift to go to FIL#2.

Needless to say, that trip was not a good one, and we still felt the tension as we arrived home. I also gave my mom a picture frame as a joint gift from us, and some PJs. Whn I told her the story, she told me that she NEVER has the expectation that husbter and I would buy her a gift, just having her at our house to celebrate the holiday or visiting her is a gift enough. She said she gets more satisfaction from watching DD open gifts than getting gifts herself.

So last year, the hubster and I waited until the last minute to purchase gifts for MIL&FIL#1 (his mom and step-dad). We knew what we were going to buy them, just waited on buying them their INDIVIDUAL presents. Anyway, we seriously considered giving them another joint gift, a holiday card, which would have read "Due to your behavior last year of not appreciating the thoughtfulness of the gift we picked out for you, we decided to take the money we would have used on your gift and make a donation to (insert charitable cause)."

Anyway, it was a thought, but we DIDN'T do it. We sucked it up and bought them individual gifts. Because of the whole individual gifts thing, they always get more than any other extended family member we are close to.

Grown folks acting like that? Sad.

 

[Pugsley]

Just wondering with all the Christmas gift threads if anyone choose not to give/receive gifts? Not because of the economy or religious beliefs but just because? DH and I stopped exchanging years ago (at least 10 or more). Generally if we want something we will buy it. I hate shopping so its great.

I much prefer a nice time spending time with people, have a nice dinner or whatever.

To me Christmas has become so commercial that we forget to enjoy the holiday. Just because the calendar says December 25th does not mean that I expect a gift to be given or received.

Just wondering if I am as strange as most people think I am.

We do the same and it's nice to see other people agreeing with this. People do seem to look at me funny when I say we don't do gifts and I don't know why. It just makes so much sense to me. It's crazy how people get so stressed over the holidays and make it all so difficult when none of the stressful stuff is really necessary at all. I've enjoyed Christmas so much more since we all agreed to stop the gift giving. When we want/need stuff we buy it ourselves. We do give gifts of money to our grown children but that's it.

 

[eliza61]

Dh and I generally don't buy gifts for each other. It actually happened accidentally. my two sons are both holiday babies so between Christmas and birthdays we were usually flat broke. LOL. Dh is extremely generous during the year, many a time we've been in the mall and I mention that I thought some thing was very pretty only to have him pick it up for me.

This year we're going to vegas at the end of the month so that will be our gift to each other.

 

[not_minnie]

DH and I haven't gotten presents for each other for at least 15 years. We usually go on vacation around the first of the year, so that's our "present" to each other. Same for birthdays. Mine is in July and his is in August, and we usually (not always) go somewhere in the summer and call it a present. Works perfectly for us but, like you, I get weird looks from people when this comes up.

 

[snowywhite89]

Just wondering with all the Christmas gift threads if anyone choose not to give/receive gifts? Not because of the economy or religious beliefs but just because? DH and I stopped exchanging years ago (at least 10 or more). Generally if we want something we will buy it. I hate shopping so its great.

I much prefer a nice time spending time with people, have a nice dinner or whatever.

To me Christmas has become so commercial that we forget to enjoy the holiday. Just because the calendar says December 25th does not mean that I expect a gift to be given or received.

Just wondering if I am as strange as most people think I am.

DH and I choose to stop "buying what we want" at the end of summer and then tell the other about it. This becomes our list that is a surprise. Doing it this way does not cost us any more money and we get what we wanted.

 

[anniemae]

We stopped giving gifts to each other a while ago. Now we just buy for the kids. DH and I do a stocking for each other though, but it's just little things like candy, scratch cards, chap stick etc.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

We have a large group over for Christmas (over 40), most of whom stay with us for about a week around the holiday. We draw names from a hat in the summer and buy the person whose name we draw 2 gifts - one a gag gift and the other a regular gift - total spend not to exceed $100.

We open our gifts while the kids are playing with theirs in another room. It is great fun, and the gift stories from years past make it bettter every year. When you have 6 months to look for a perfect gag gift, the results are pretty awesome.

 

[auntie]

My husband and I still buy for one another, but mostly for the kids. Sure there will be a few gifts for one another, but over the years they've become a bit simplier and more of a sentimental variety. I tell him every year, not to buy for me. He said he'll never do that.
Last year after opening a few items that I pretty much expected. He handed me an especially neatly wrapped package. In it was a picture frame that held a lovely smiling photo of my dad who had passed away but a month earlier. Aside the frame was a touching sentiment, about how he was "home" for Christmas. I was crying before I finished reading it.
Certainly, I've received much more expensive gifts in the past. Yet, while not expensive, it was exactly the gift I needed to see that Christmas morning.

 

[luvmy3]

Dh and I do exchange but we dont buy eachother birthday or anniversary gifts anymore, or at least he doesn't. We do buy for our parents and grandparents but we had agreed with the siblings not to exchange with eachother, but of course some of them still give little gifts which make evryone else feel guilty so the next year everyone gives gifts. Oh well, we try I am thinking about suggesting a yankee swap from now on, that way we can have a little fun with it.
I don't think there is anything wrong with not giving gifts, but it wouldn't be Christmas morning to me if there wasn't at least something under the tree for everyone in the house.

 

[IUTBAM]

DH and I stopped exchanging years ago (at least 10 or more). Generally if we want something we will buy it.

Same here. I buy something when I want it...so does DH. I don't think it's "fun" to wait until Christmas to give him a list of things I want and then have him buy them. And he has given up (after 20+ years of marriage) trying to surprise me...I'm not much on surprises, lol.

 

[simba20]

Grown folks acting like that? Sad.

It truly is and was. Most women have a MIL they dislike, for me it's my FIL. The thing is, the hubster and I have been together longer (15 years, if you count the time we dated) than MIL and FIL#1 (hubster's mother and step-father). They married in 1998.

What's even worse is that FIL#1, tries every year to be the one person that gives DD THE BEST GIFT! That same Christmas, they bought DD this schoolhouse playset. Christmas night we went to have Christmas with FIL#2. We arrived back at my in-laws and left DD's present in the cars. She runs inside and after few minutes starts playing with the schoolhouse, to which FIL exclaims loudly "All right, we got the best gift. R is not interested in playing with any of the toys those people bought her." Ummmm, they were IN THE CAR.

I realized over Thanksgiving that FIL#1 is very insecure and a lot of what he says is turly out of ignorance. He's a smart man, went to college, worked for IBM on the Apollo program, worked in computers his whole life, and retired two years ago. However he's only knowledgeable anout what interests him, and what he's learned via his experiences.

I avoid confrontation, so I'd never call him out on anything. 4/5 days is my limit.

I'm a glutton for punishment though, as they are coming to Disney with us this Spring. At least the hubster and I can sneak away, under the guise of allowing them to spend time with theri granddaughter. oy vey!