Any non-AP parents out there??

[jenandkam]

There are a few AP parenting threads going on here and I was wondering if there were any others out there who did not adopt this philosophy?

DS did not sleep with me as a baby - he did sleep in a cradle in my room for the first 6 months or so, but that was mostly laziness on my part. lol

DS was only breastfed for a couple of months and then I had to go back to work and he went to formula.

DS was held a lot - way more than my DM and DMIL liked - but I did not "wear" him or have a sling.

DS has been spanked. He is 4 and I've done it a couple of times and not for a couple of years, but I have done it.

Oh - and he has been both circumcised (sp?) and immunized.

I want to be clear that I am NOT bashing AP parenting, nor do I want this thread to turn into anyone bashing anyone. Every parent has the right to adopt and practice their own philosophies on parenting. I'm just curious if there is anyone on these boards who has a philosophy similar to mine.

 

[nextidiot]

I haven't a clue what AP parenting is (I assumed it had something to do with season tickets or something). But none of the above look out of the ordinary to me.

However, I will say this, parenting gets much easier after the first child.

 

[jenandkam]

I haven't a clue what AP parenting is (I assumed it had something to do with season tickets or something). But none of the above look out of the ordinary to me.

However, I will say this, parenting gets much easier after the first child.

LOL!
Sorry - I should have been more clear - sometimes I think everyone else is in my head with me.

AP stands for "attachment parenting". It is a philosophy on parenting that supports things such as co-sleeping, breast-feeding, "wearing" babies in slings and such, definitely not spanking, and many times not immunizing or circumcising. Of course, some AP parents will adopt some of these suggestions and some will adopt all of them. It has been around for a long time, but has gained much popularity in recent years.

I do not adopt this philosophy for reasons I won't go into here because I'm not trying to start a debate, just wondering if there are any like-minded folks on this board!

 

[dfarner]

My girls both went into the crib when they were born. They were both breastfed, my oldest for a year and the baby for about 7 months (I stopped only because I stopped producing enough milk for her). Both have gotten their shots, although I will admit that the inconclusive research regarding shots and autism makes me nervous. My oldest has been spanked on rare occasion. So, no you are not alone.

 

[jenandkam]

Good to hear!
I will agree that the possible link between autism and the mmr shot is concerning. You definitely can't ignore it. I just decided that with not scientific link the benefits outweighed the risk.
Of course, we don't know if something or everything else we do could cause the same condition since there is so little known about autism. My mom's best friend has a son who was diagnosed with autism when he was almost 3, I think. That was about 13 years ago and it seems that we have made almost no progress on understanding this horrific condition.

 

[momofbgtwins]

My DH and I are definately non-AP parents. We have almost 5yo twins. They were co-sleeping, with each other, until they were about 4 months old, then they got their own cribs! They have slept with us less than 5 times, and only when they were sick. They were never breast fed, and have had all of their immunizations. We cuddled with them, of course, but NEVER carried them in slings, wraps, etc. We actually reprimanded the daycare provider in the infant room for holding them so much because with 2 of them, and generally only one of me (DH is a busy doctor) we didn't want them to get used to constantly being held.

I guess to many of you I'd be considered a cold mom. Too each his own! My kids are very loving and affectionate, and quite well behaved and well adjusted.

I subscribe more to the John Rosemond child rearing theories (they worked great for my mom, and her generation!) than Dr Sears.

 

[Willow25]

I hate the fact that it is called attachment parenting. While I understand that to be the basis of most of their theories I think it is dangerous to use the word attachment as if that is the only way a child will attach to their parents. All children and parents are different and what works for one will not work for all.

 

[mhm]

Co-sleeping: for us, never--we rolled over on the cat way too many times to ever risk it with a baby. They were in our room in a bassinet until they outgrew the bassinet (at about 3 months)

Breastfeeding: first dd bf until 11 months when she lost interest. I did have to stop pumping at work when she was 6 months, so she got formula when I was at work. 2nd dd had weight gain issues, and I had to start supplementing (by pumping and adding concentrated formula to it) beginning when she was one month old until 2 1/2 months old, but by then she wouldn't bf (too impatient). I kept pumping until I went back to work at 3 months.

Babywearing: I do believe that babies should be held as much as possible when they are very young. I carried first dd in a front carrier quite a bit. 2nd dd was carried alot in arms--she hated being in the carrier until she was old enough to face out. I recently bought a solarveil mei tei to use at WDW in Sept since the front carrier would be too hot, and she seems to like it, so she's being "worn" a little more. However, she is almost walking now (at 7 1/2 months), so she prefers to be down on the floor!

Immunizations: We do them.

Spanking: No, although I would for running out into the street.

 

[greeneyedchic75]

Our parenting is very similar.
DD was in a bassinet in my room for her first 6 months of life then she moved into her crib in her own room. If she was sick then I would bring her back in my room so I could moniter her overnight. Once toddler aged and on, if she was sick with fever I have her sleep with me so I can feel her head and keep an eye on her overnight. Also, if we are having bad storms etc I have her sleep with me. But , besides those two reasons she has always been in her own bed and that is something that is very important to hubby and I. Now at Preschool age and on we have had slumber party night now and then . Where we watch a movie together and sleep together that night. We do this when daddy is deployed and its a nice treat.

I did try BF but had some problems so we did not BF long and she was formula fed and she is fine.

I didnt wear the sling or mayan wrap. I did hold my baby and I miss that now that she is 5 she is to heavy to carry around now, but I wouldnt say I was excessive to where I never put her down.

Her vaccines are something else that is very important to me and she has had all of them. . I do have a friend who doesnt vaccinate her child because she is worried about autism and mental delay from them. I can understand her point too.

I have spanked my daughter before, but I have realized with her the discipline that works best is taking away priviliges more then spankings.

So no AP parenting in my house, but I think regardless of what style u use, aslong as you provide a loving nurtering home for your children thats most important and the extra bonus is all our kids have WDW lovers as parents so I think that makes us cool parents lol

 

[Stimpy]

Never co-slept (except for nightmares or sick children but that was when they got older LOL) They didn't even stay in our room in the bassinet for long b/c we had 2 cats and I was too worried they might get in with them. So both my kids were in their own room pretty much right from the start.

Never breastfed, both were immunized, DS was circumsized. We've also let our kids cry it out at times.

I hug and snuggle with my children all the time but never even considered the sling or the backpack type carriers.

I have never spanked my kids but when they are in trouble, they definately know it! I'm the "mean" mommy who has no problem saying no to my kids and giving them a time-out even in public places.

I love my children to death and I hate seeing the inference that I am evil or a bad parent b/c we don't do AP I do not look poorly on people that do use AP at all. If it works for them, that's great! Our parenting style works for us.

(Wondering how long until this thread takes aturn towards debate )

 

[carrie6466]

I have to say neither of my children every slept with us, outside of a bassinet in our room until they slept through the night. With both of them that was at about two months.

I didn't breastfeed either of them, both were bottle babies. DS just graduated HS with high honors and was in the gifted program all through school. He is starting college with a scholarship in Sept. DD isn't in school yet

I didn't own a sling or carrier for DS. Had on for DD, but she didn't like it much, so we ditched it.

DS was circumsised. They have both had all their shots.

DS had a lot of ear problems earlier in life. They were gone by the time he was 6 or 7. DD has really never been sick, other than a very occasional cold (maybe 3 in her 4 years of life). She got 2 of them in the past year, when she started preschool 2 half-days a week.

I don't knock anyone who wants to do the AP thing, but it definitely wasn't for me. I love my kids dearly. I don't think DD has ever been spanked, DS maybe a few times when he was smaller. The one I remember vividly was the one swat on the butt when he ran in the street. He, however, does not remember it. I think he was about 2 or 3 at the time.

Both of my kids are loving, healthy, well adjusted (except for 16/17 teenage years LOL). Would I do it differently if I had another chance? Nope.

 

[momz]

Attachment parenting? Well, I'm pretty "attached" to my kids, but....I never "wore" them in a sling or otherwise. My children are individuals and not an extension of myself. They sleep in their own beds, but with my youngest, I stay in his room until he is asleep, because he gets scared and I end up trotting up and down the stairs 20 times before it's all over. So it's easier just to take 15 minutes to help him feel more secure. I have spanked when there is an immediate danger and I need to get my point across, otherwise, it is time-outs, or loss of a toy, or whatever is appropriate to the situation. My son is circumsized and both my children have had all their immunizations. We seek opportunities for them to socialize with other kids and they both attend part-time daycare (gasp). And you know what? They are very caring, loving and outgoing children. I don't subscribe to the idea that a child's every whim be immediately satisfied. Sure, they would probably like to spend all day every day at my side with my undivided attention. But, that's not what's best for them.

Edited to add: We also send them to PUBLIC SCHOOL!!!!!! (gasp)

 

[DisneyNutMary]

Jen, add me to your group- I am definitely non-AP.
The only co-sleeping in my house is my DH and me, and I can't wait for him to get up in the am so I can spread out My kids did sleep in the bassinet in our room until they out grew it. This was more for us, then them. Closer walk for the 3am feedings.
I did not breastfeed, I had a high fever after the first birth, so I was not allowed to start, he took to the formula bottle easily, so we kept him on it. My 2nd one, I knew I would be going back to work asap- there were lots of bills to be paid- so I did not breastfeed, the bottle was just more convenient.
I was not an overholder. I played with my kids alot, but I did not feel the need to always hold them to form a bond.
Both of my children had all their shots- and it's a good thing, because it's actually a law in NYC that the children have all their shots to enter school, to not immunize is considered neglect. And as my pediatrician always says "the benefits far outweigh the risks"
I have never spanked, but I would consider doing so if my child ran into the street, or some other very dangerous thing.

The good news is that my boys are now 14 and 9- they are both very loving and very close to my DH and me, both are healthy and very intelligent. My 14 year old is attending an exclusive Catholic high school on a full scholarship.
So is being a non-AP parent bad? I hardly think so.

 

[VeroBeachGirl]

This is such a good thread. I am going to be a first time Mommy in January and am trying to decide what style of parent I should be. Attachment parenting doesn't seem to suit my personality. Are there any books or web sites that describe the different methods of parenting?
Thanks!

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

I don't follow a "type" of parenting. I just do what feels right and works for my girls. People get so wrapped up in "following" the newest/ latest/ trendiest advice that they are more worried about keeping up with the new mother down the street than what works best for their baby! Healthwise, I've done what is healthiest for my daughters. They were/ are breastfed, they have their immunizations, and regular doctor's appointments. The way you care for your children is a very personal affair. No book, no doctor is going to be able to tell you exactly what is best for your individual child. And it should not be a competion of which style is better than the other. Each child, each family, each parenting style is different from the rest. As long as a child is loved, supported, and kept safe from harm....then your parenting style works.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Do you have room for one more?

My son will be 16 in October. I've done pretty much everything everyone here has done. My son started day care very early. (I'm a single mom) He was bottle feed, He was spanked. It never occurred to me not to have him immunize.

He has attended both public and private schools. He's currently attended a Catholic High School. His teachers love and always have great things to say about him.

He's your typical teen. Well mannered, respectful, caring, generous, very intelligent, loves video games...


VeroBeachGirl, I can't suggest any books or web sites. When my son was born, I turned to those I trusted the most, my mom, grandmother, aunts and cousins.

Try not to second guess yourself. Do what you feel is best for your family and TRY to ignore all of the unsolicited advice.

Enjoy your baby, they grow up way too fast. Two years from now I'll be getting ready to send my son off to college.

Know that you will make mistakes. There's no such thing as a perfect or super mom.

 

[Erin1700]

Hope to be welcomed here!!!
2 kids, one 6yrs and the other 6 months. formula fed, vaccinated, little boy was circum. my little guy loves rice cereal and is starting fruits and veggies just like his sister did!
DD goes to public school.
Last night we left DS with my parents for 3 hours so we could take DD to see Harry Potter!

Glad you started a place for us!

 

[mericletwins]

I am a non-AP parent I guess.

We didn't co-sleep because I didn't consider it safe. We did have babies in our room for about 9 months with the first and maybe the same with the third.

Spanking. I have done it rarely, but that is just it, rarely. Also it is more of a swat than a repeated motion.

Wearing babies. I had twins that were preemie. One had reflux and the other colic. When they were five months old I was....surprise......pregnant again. When they were 9 montsh old I went on full bedrest. Needless to say...no baby wearing in this house.


I was going to breastfeed the twins, but they were in the hospital for a couple weeks and got used to the bottle. I did pump for about 10 weeks I think. I did it until I ended up in the hospital for an emergency surgery for my gall bladder. I was on major drugs and although I was still pumping, things started drying up. I did BF my third DS for about 9 months. One of the reasons I did and it wasn't a minor reason was because I was tired of paying for formula. The twins had just come off formula two months prior to my DS's arrival. Three in diapers was bad enough.

We did daycare and I personally think it can be very beneficial (former daycare teacher, former elementary teacher and current middle school teacher ) It is great for socialization. I could definitely tell in the younger grades who had been in a daycare/nursery school setting and who had not.

We vaccinate and circumsized. I am currently debating with myself the cervical cancer vaccine for DD 8. I did wait till my kids were about 5 to get the chicken pox vaccine. I was hoping they would get it before then, but they didn't.

I think I got it all. We really didn't try to follow a parenting style. We just did what we thought was best for our family with the circumstances we had.

 

[Vacation Lover]

I'll chime in! I'm definitely not an Attachment Parenting type. I just need my space! I start to go crazy if I don't have some "me" time, and AP seems all about the baby. I am another one that's more in tune with the John Rosemond style parenting, although I'm not as strict as he is.

I thinkg Rosemond has a website for those who want to check it out. Maybe Rosemond.com. He says that the number one relationship in a family should be that between the husband an wife and that your role as parents are to guide them to be independent and self-disciplined.

We rarely co-sleep because I can't sleep with anyone besides my DH in the room, although if one of the kids has a nightmare I occasionally let them stay the night. DD2 wakes up at 6 every morning and snuggles with us until it's time to get up.

DS9 has been spanked, but he's my "challenging" one. DD7 has been spanked once or twice and DD2 is too young. I breastfed until 6-9 months old, but didn't worry about occasionally giving them formula.

 

[kerrynic78]

I have a 6 1/2 month old and are pretty non-AP. We didn't set off to be one way or the other in terms of parenting style, it just kind of happened that this is what is working for us.

She slept in a bassinet until about 3 months old and is now in her room in a crib. I need my space to sprawl out in bed, plus she loves her crib. I liked having her in our room in the beginning but I would have to tiptoe in the room when I wanted to go to sleep and couldn't watch tv, go on the computer, etc b/c she would wake up.

I still breastfeed but she does get 1 bottle of formula a day.

She is vaccinated (was not even a question for us)and if we have a boy, he will be circumsized.

I used the Baby Bjorn in the beginning b/c she was very, very clingy and always wanted to be held but she is more independent now and loves to be in a stroller, not in a sling or Bjorn.

Due to her waking up EVERY 2 hours at night to comfort nurse my doctor told us to try letting her cry it out. After one night of letting her cry it out, she is now sleeping through the night and we are very, very happy parents!!!

She is at such a fun age now, I love seeing what new things she is going to do today! I can't wait to have another one