Any discipline tips for the parks...

[Kate-n-sam]

I haven't seen this one posted before: How do you discipline at the parks? My kids (1 the angel , 3, and 7) are generally well behaved, but tend to act out more in public situations because they know I probably won't discipline them too harshly or embarass myself . At home they will normally get a time out or lose a privledge. At the parks though? I don't know. Time out won't really work (will it?, where?) and if I take a privledge, I think the rest of the group would suffer...it seems a bit harsh to have 6 of us enjoying a Mickey bar, riding the barnstormer or *gasp* leaving the parks while one of them is in tears. Any tips? Thanks!

 

[bobcat]

I discipline the same way I do at home and never had a major problem. My kids know I'm serious when I say we will go back to the hotel if they act up. I would do it at the grocery at home and have only had to do it once. They have missed some pool time since their meltdowns usually come when they are tired and we are back at the hotel.

One silly thing we do that may not work for your kids is that once we pull out of the drive to start our vacation there is a no fighting rule. The first trip the kids were so excited to go to WDW that they wouldn't fight in case they had to miss something. Now it's kind of a joke as my kids are getting older and when one starts arguing with the other I have heard them say "were on vacation you can't fight with me" LOL

 

[RUDisney]

My Mom came up with this. She told the kids that everyone who works for WDW has to report back to Mickey about any kids that they see misbehaving. If they got caught not listening to Mom and Dad, they'd risk getting a letter from Mickey that says they can't return for 10-years.

It was the best threat we could have had. My Mom is so smart. The only meltdown we had was after Kali River Rapids. My DD was mad that DS and I got soaked and she didn't. I'd have gladly traded places with her. She started throwing her fit and I reminded her that the CMs were watching and she was able to calm herself down to a quiet pout.

 

[my3princes]

Your on your own with the 1 yr old, mine has a mind of his own and I have found a good way to discipline yet. As for the older 2, mine are 6 and 8 (5 and 7 last trip) I make them ride in our double stroller if they misbehave. I only had to put the 7 yr old in once on our last trip (14 days) He knew I meant business and was perfect the rest of the trip. The 5 yr old learned from brother's mistake and never had to be disciplined.

 

[Schmeck]

I found that when my girls (8 and 10) started bickering during our last trip it was my fault - I was pushing them through the experience, not asking what they wanted to do, etc. They also told me that they were very tired, imagine that! Once we slowed down, and I realized that we couldn't do everything, the bickering (and whining) stopped!

Of course, at home, they bicker/argue/fight when they are tired as well, but I just couldn't figure that out at WDW! How could anyone be tired there, LOL!

 

[stacy6552]

for all things discepline, my bible is 1-2-3 Magic. Im not sure who wrote the book but it really truly is magic.

 

[HappyLawyer]

yes forget it your on vacation let loose and run wild, (and let the kids have fun too)

 

[peanutzmom]

I find overall my kids don't really misbehave at WDW -- they're having too much fun!! We, too, use 1-2-3 magic, and when we "take 5" at one of the parks DH or I take them to the nearest restroom, and they get stuck hanging out in a boring old bathroom for 5 minutes while the other sibling is getting to ride on a ride or look at toys in a shop. When they hit meltdown mode, though, I realize they're probably overtired & overstimulated, so we *all* as a family decide to leave the park, but still do something fun but low-key (go back to the resort to take a dip in the pool or watch some cartoons on the Disney Channel, go to the Boardwalk for an ice cream cone, etc...)

 

[carone0318]

I have a 7.5 yr old dd and a 3 yr old ds. When we go in Aug, it will be dd's 5th and ds' 3rd trip and discipline really isn't a problem. I find that I am not feeling the stress of everyday life, so the little things that they do don't bother me as much as they would at home. I try to remember it's their vacation too and to let them blow off a little steam when needed. If there was a full blown tantrum, I would deal with it as I would at home, but fortunately I haven't had to deal with that yet !

 

[HaleyB]

My advice is make sure they are well fed and rested up. Make sure they are not over heating. And avoid gift shops. If you can do all that I doubt your kids will give you much to worry about.
Don't expect too much, sleepy kids whine sometimes. Have fun and enjoy yourself and don't worry too much about discipline.

 

[gary4jenn]

letting my children know what I expect of them before we go anywhere and what the consequences will be. Also- what the rewards will be if they comply (no I'm nit bribing them).

So when they girls (ages 4 and 7) start teasing or fighting w/ each other, i remind them that whem we are in WDW that is definitly not OK and they will have to miss out on rides/souveniers if the behavior continues.

I usually remind them once (as all children forget in the heat of the moment) and be sure not to over do it. Just the excitemnet and the anticipation can overwhelm kids and use up some of their patience and energy.

I also have sat on a park bench w/ my child during a time out. And if my child decides to cry and other people look- who cares? MOst of the people at Disney have kids and theirs have probably had public outbursts and you'll never see these people again.

 

[tjmw2727]

I discipline in the parks just as I would at home. Yes, my 6yo has lost out on a mickey bar and dh or I are more than happy to sit out a ride or two if necessary. IMHO you have to decide what the consequence will be and be prepared to follow through. So don't say it if you don't mean it!!! It only took one lost mickey bar for my 6yo!

In most instances I am able to address the situation instead of just the behavior. Sometimes its just hard for a 6yo to understand that we will be riding xxoo but with a fast pass so not until later. I try and include them in our choices and make sure they all get to choose something. If my 6yo is obviously hot and tired and the park is crowded, for us that is just a disaster in waiting. We will either take a long lunch break or hit the resort for a while.

Taking things at a nice pace, keeping the kids hydrated and fed will also help. Sometimes leaving the park in the afternoon is our only recourse - not just as a punishment but a nice rest and a swim for everyone. A little one at 3 or even at 7 may not understand they are thirsty so keep the water coming even if they arn't asking. I find that just handing it to them every so often they will just start drinking!

TJ

 

[Del]

I don't believe in not disciplining just because we are in WDW. Why should everyone else in the group suffer. My girls (7 and 4) are told the rules prior to leaving and reminded in the am before we hit the parks. I tell them our agenda so that they are prepared. We go over restaurant manners and that they will be expected to eat their meals since we are not at home and don't have easy access to food. We take breaks for ice cream and sitting down time. We don't do all day parks. We go from am til early afternoon. We tell them that Mom or Dad will be more than happy to stay in the room and take a nap if one or both of them don't follow the rules. (staying with us, holding hand when we tell them to...whining!...sulking!) They know we mean it and they do it. We just came back a few days ago. I told them how well behaved they were. They were the best! We stopped off at Downtown Disney and bought them some clothes and toys. They deserved it...their behavior made the trip so enjoyable. Good Luck!

Del

 

[Magic2000]

I also dicipline as I would at home. But we really don't have too much of a problem with the girls at Disney - they are too excited! They do occasionally have to be reminded of what's acceptable.

When we're on vacation, we try to let the kids have as much fun as possible. They always look at the map and help us decide where to go next and they get to each pick a restaurant for our trip. So they always feel they are a part of the trip too! Each girl brings her own money and can buy whatever she wants - with HER money. That really helps stop the whining (even with my teens!!) - my rule is "If you have the money for it and really want it, you can buy it". You'd be surprised how quickly they put something back when its their money!

On our trip this past Oct, we were eating at Jiko one night and this little boy at the next table was running around their table, banging on table, hopping over by our table knocking against our chair, yelling to his parents for dessert, etc. The mother kept saying "If you do that one more time". She must have said that 20 times! Thankfully, they did leave before our dinner came.

I like my kids to have a great time at Disney too, but not at the expense of other guests.

 

[shelly3girls]

My DDs are very well behaved at home, not to say they never have to be disciplined though. We found that the girls are very well behaved at WDW because we keep them well fed and RESTED. I cannot stress enough how important it is to take breaks especially in the heat. Most kids you see having a meltdown are doing so b/c they are exhausted. We always take the girls back to the room in the afternoon to rest. Sure we are losing park time, but I would rather have quality evening time than a trip full of fits and outbursts. With an afternoon rest we have a pleasant dinner and are able to spend time in the parks in the evening. This way we also avoid the parks in the afternoon when the lines seem to be the longest.

 

[merryg]

These all sound great for younger children. However, I have 2 dd, ages 10 & 13. They have your average swabbles about "nothing". You know....she's in my room, she used my stuff, etc. At home I send them to their own rooms for cool off times or about once a month we have an "estrogen talk" I am not really concerned too much about their behavior since this will be our first trip to WDW. However, you never can tell with this age. Any suggestions on how to handle any "misunderstandings" ?



Thanks in advance!!

 

[KIS]

I've yet to go to WDW. This was the first time I've seen this on the boards and I appreciate the discussion as I anticipate our first trip.

I imagine, like Schmeck, given the fact that I'm so hyped about this trip that I may well have to remember to listen to my daughter, who's 5 y.o. when she tells me she's tired. I've planned tours in the parks. We have a down day, but we adjusted to accomodate the end of April's sorry schedule of fireworks and parades in MK. We still have a down day, but it's less of a comfortable flow for us.

In the planning, I've tried to remember less is more with a child, but still tried to pack in the fun rides. I worked with touringplans, hoping that expert advice might enable me to be more realistic. With the exception of the first MK day when we do the Fantasyland circuit, there's only several things planned in a bunch. But, Len Testa, he's the touring plans person whose been helping me out, assures me given the timing of things that it won't be too stressful.

We're taking breaks every mid-day, with the exception of two days when we stop entirely at 3 pm and another where the break is in the GF lobby between the Family Tour of MK and the GF Tea with Alice.

I have trouble imagining my daughter not wanting to alter the plan given the tempation of instant gratification at various sights. We've discussed it at length -- that our tour will enable us to do many, many fun things, without too many lines, but just not in the order she wants at the moment. I hope it helps to prepare.

I think I will handle the "I want" monster and the crankies in the same manner I do at home. She's been saving allowance. My husband and I will either tell her what we will purchase for her in advance, leaving a little room/funds for flexibility. Crankiness in our house is a sign that rest is required, and, if her mother can handle it, our party will simply have to chill and miss out on our glorious plan because that comes first.

KIS

 

[shleybird]

My boys are 7 and 8, and I find that they do not act out as much at WDW as they do at home. I think the biggest fit maker for them was all the gift shops, now they each have their own money, if they want it they buy it. But once the money is gone, it's gone. They make better choices when it is their money.
I also don't sweat the small stuff so much when on vacation. If they want to play in the water at DTD or Epcot, I let them. We have a family policy that if a ride scares you, you don't have to ride it. If they want to ride space 3 times in a row, we do. Even though WDW is my happy place, this vacation is for them also. We leave in 22 days and I know some people will be shocked but we have no PS for any meals. My boys just don't care to spend alot of time at sit down meals. You have to put things into perspective for your family. That will cut down on any disipline problems you have.

 

[Kate-n-sam]

Just wanted to say thanks for all the great advice and tips. I guess on the day I posted this, I took them all to the grocery store with me, and wanted to run away from home by the time we left there, LOL.

I'm realizing that obviously, WDW isn't the grocery store. They can pretty much have a Mickey Bar at 10 am if they want to or a lollypop bigger than their head!

My main concerns are the 3 and 7 year old bickering about who gets to ride in the extra stroller seat. (The other always wants to do what they can't do, thing). I've explained to my 7 yo that she's last on the stroller priority list. She seems to accept that now. The other thing is of course gift shops. 7 yo DD has been saving since Christmas. She has saved over 100 dollars for spending, but I'm not sure if we will let her spend it all. We are planning a trip to DD for a little shopping spree, I'm hoping 3 year old DS won't be all that interested in shopping too much (if he's anything like his father ) The biggest issue with DS (almost 4) is that he likes to run off or run ahead, even though we've gone over the importance of staying together. Maybe I'll bring his old harness that ought to curb his desire to escape!

So.....I'm sure it will all go just fine, and of course 13 month old DD will be the best of all! Thanks for the encouragement!

Lynn

 

[fredms]

Thanks for all of the great advice!
I am taking my nieces and nephews (6,4,4,1) in January 2005 and am frightened that my elevated expectations will be ruined by poor behavior (especially the 6 year-old). As of right now we intend to bring a babysitter along - so the obvious punishment for bad behavior would be going back to the hotel / time out with the sitter.

But please keep these tips coming. I am going to keep them in the back of my mind. Also anymore tips on how to deal with the "gimmies" would be helpful.