Any adults that overcame a fear of driving?

[KAMKIM]

Have you any one you know have a severe fear of driving?

If so how did you overcome it, if you overcame it?

And how old were you when you got your license?

What do you think your fear was based from?

 

[Pooh's Pixie]

I was 34 when I got my license. I think I should have tried when I was younger, but I didn't need it. Then I became nervous about it. It just fed into itself. The longer you wait the harder it is. Just do it, small steps, and you can do it. I used to visualize myself going places. I think it helped me realize what my end goal was; to get out and drive and go where I wanted. Now I drive a big SUV!

As for learning, my DH taught me to drive! I don't really recommend it though! Can be a little difficult!

Good luck, keep us posted!

 

[NY Disney fan]

I first got my license when I was 19 years old. A week later I was in an auto accident where my brakes failed. I did not drive again for 9 years. When I was 28 I got fed up and decided that I needed to drive again. What I did was I took an ungodly amount of driving lessons so that I felt safe enough to drive again. Once per week for 6 months. Then I bought my own car and started driving short distances. After a few more months, I was comfortable driving longer distances. Now I have been driving consistently for 7 years. (I even drove from NY to VA by myself and back again)

You just have to want to succeed at it. Practice is the key! And good knowledge of the road. What helped me was having someone in the passenger seat to help me "drive."

I would also like to add that in the beginning, I would always take the long way to get to a destination because I was scared of the highway and took the streets all the time. It made sense to me. Then I got fed up and jumped on the highway a lot becuase I was tired of taking the streets. LOL. Being "fed up" was what got me fired up to drive and keep driving.

 

[KAMKIM]

I was 34 when I got my license. I think I should have tried when I was younger, but I didn't need it. Then I became nervous about it. It just fed into itself. The longer you wait the harder it is. Just do it, small steps, and you can do it. I used to visualize myself going places. I think it helped me realize what my end goal was; to get out and drive and go where I wanted. Now I drive a big SUV!

As for learning, my DH taught me to drive! I don't really recommend it though! Can be a little difficult!

Good luck, keep us posted!

I can totally relate. I am 28, up to this point I have not "needed" my license. DH works in the office directly behind mine so getting to and from work is a non issue, but lately he has been having to work alot of Saturdays, and both of my girls dance on Saturday. I am not comfortable asking any one else to take us and would never risk driving without a license. I know its time and reminded by alot of family members (in a not so nice kind of way) that I need my license. I truly feel like I will lose control of the car. We have a trailblazer - which I can and do drive around our house which is pretty much farmland - but taking him to work on a Saturday and having to take the girls to dance by myself I have to do it...I just cant bring myself to do it. I envision myself not being able to park it at their dance and driving around the parking lot until their done I'm so afraid I'll get into a situation and not know what to do. I do have my permit and sort kinda okay driving with someone in the passenger seat...but by myself...omg.

 

[Handbag Lady]

My aunt never did. She is 54 now and has never driven nor has never wanted to drive a car.

We think she may have been in the car when my grandmother killed an elderly woman. It was YEARS ago and this elderly woman just stepped out between two cars on a busy highway and my grandmother couldn't avoid hitting her. My aunt would have been about four at the time.

Regardless, my aunt just never wanted to drive. She was very happy taking the bus or any public transportation, and was happy to have her husband or any of us drive her, but she would never ask for a ride.

I would think that doing baby steps will get you there.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I was 16 when I got my license; I'm now 35 and I've developed a severe driving phobia. I do drive, but ONLY to places/areas with which I'm familiar. No highway, no cities. My fear stems from being in 3 auto accidents with people who simply didn't care; I was "in the way."

People here drive like maniacs. If I'm doing 5 or 10 over the limit, they ride my bumper because that's not fast enough. They don't stop at stop signs or red lights; if they want to get into your lane, they simply move over without signaling or pulling far enough ahead (heaven forbid they actually get behind you - no, they have to be in front); if they want to pass a slower-moving car or an obstruction (i.e. parked car) in front of them, they don't yield to oncoming traffic, they simply pull out head-on and expect you to give way...

 

[Plannin'Shannon]

I can totally relate. I am 28, up to this point I have not "needed" my license. DH works in the office directly behind mine so getting to and from work is a non issue, but lately he has been having to work alot of Saturdays, and both of my girls dance on Saturday. I am not comfortable asking any one else to take us and would never risk driving without a license. I know its time and reminded by alot of family members (in a not so nice kind of way) that I need my license. I truly feel like I will lose control of the car. We have a trailblazer - which I can and do drive around our house which is pretty much farmland - but taking him to work on a Saturday and having to take the girls to dance by myself I have to do it...I just cant bring myself to do it. I envision myself not being able to park it at their dance and driving around the parking lot until their done I'm so afraid I'll get into a situation and not know what to do. I do have my permit and sort kinda okay driving with someone in the passenger seat...but by myself...omg.

I could have written the bolded lines of this post myself. I got my learner's permit at 18, and did not get my driver's license until I was 20. Everyone I knew thought I was so odd for having a fear of driving, but this post sums up exactly how I felt. Nervous, out of control, terrified of other drivers.

The best thing I ever did for myself was enroll in a defensive driving course! I highly recommend this to anyone who is afraid to drive. Not only did it teach me the techniques I use regularly to avoid mishaps, but it gave me the confidence I needed to take control of a vehicle!

 

[KAMKIM]

My aunt never did. She is 54 now and has never driven nor has never wanted to drive a car.

We think she may have been in the car when my grandmother killed an elderly woman. It was YEARS ago and this elderly woman just stepped out between two cars on a busy highway and my grandmother couldn't avoid hitting her. My aunt would have been about four at the time.

Regardless, my aunt just never wanted to drive. She was very happy taking the bus or any public transportation, and was happy to have her husband or any of us drive her, but she would never ask for a ride.

I would think that doing baby steps will get you there.

I wish public transportation were an option where I live...but if it was I would probably be tempted to never drive on my own either.

My family says DH is an enabler because he takes me where I need to go - which benefits him obviously too (grocery shopping, errands for the house etc.)

I really need to talk myself into this

 

[Handbag Lady]

I wish public transportation were an option where I live...but if it was I would probably be tempted to never drive on my own either.

My family says DH is an enabler because he takes me where I need to go - which benefits him obviously too (grocery shopping, errands for the house etc.)

I really need to talk myself into this

Our public transportation here is really bad! She ends up walking more places than taking the bus.

Here in Los Angeles, you really do need to have a car. I've been driving legally since 16, had my permit at 15.5 and I bought my first car at age 15.

But, I'll tell you a little secret: I hate making left turns on busy roads without a light. I also hate parallel parking. Because I don't like doing either one and I am not good at parallel parking, I just don't do it. Plain and simple and problem solved. When I do have to make lefts on busy streets, I am just super cautious and concentrate so that I don't freak myself out.

I am terrific on the freeway, though. I can merge like no other!


I think this is just like quitting smoking, and I've done that. You need to sit yourself down, and think about driving. Think about the freedom you have and heaven forbid, think about if there is an emergency and you need to drive yourself to the hospital because someone is in the emergency room and you need to get there quick.

Then, take some courses. Driving courses and then defensive driving. Tell each instructor what you have problems with, what your fears are, and they will work with you.

Your biggest fear is parking at the dance class for now? Is there an area near it that isn't in a lot? Is the parking there street only? What about it bothers you?

Baby steps and you can do this! Is there a way to get yourself a reward? A new-to-you car in your favorite color, or one with a sunroof or something?

 

[KAMKIM]

Our public transportation here is really bad! She ends up walking more places than taking the bus.

Here in Los Angeles, you really do need to have a car. I've been driving legally since 16, had my permit at 15.5 and I bought my first car at age 15.

But, I'll tell you a little secret: I hate making left turns on busy roads without a light. I also hate parallel parking. Because I don't like doing either one and I am not good at parallel parking, I just don't do it. Plain and simple and problem solved. When I do have to make lefts on busy streets, I am just super cautious and concentrate so that I don't freak myself out.

I am terrific on the freeway, though. I can merge like no other!


I think this is just like quitting smoking, and I've done that. You need to sit yourself down, and think about driving. Think about the freedom you have and heaven forbid, think about if there is an emergency and you need to drive yourself to the hospital because someone is in the emergency room and you need to get there quick.

Then, take some courses. Driving courses and then defensive driving. Tell each instructor what you have problems with, what your fears are, and they will work with you.

Your biggest fear is parking at the dance class for now? Is there an area near it that isn't in a lot? Is the parking there street only? What about it bothers you?

Baby steps and you can do this! Is there a way to get yourself a reward? A new-to-you car in your favorite color, or one with a sunroof or something?

My fear is parking at the dance studio because this is probably the only place I would need to drive myself - parking lots in general freak me out. And I honestly dont think it matters that I'm driving a SUV, I could be driving my daughters powerwheels and probably not want to park it.

The street their dance is on is fairly busy...I will need to take make a left hand turn into their parking lot (without a light!) I suppose I could park on the street, although I've never see anyone else do this so I dont know that its allowed. This particular parking lot is very small - cars come and go very quickly and constantly (people are usually just dropping off and then leaving).

We've been talking about getting a second car alot lately and as DH pointed out - I dont have my license so no point...but if I got my license we would get a second car for him and I would drive the trailblazer. We used to own a Sable and I liked that car but actually like the SUV better...I feel safer.

 

[Handbag Lady]

My fear is parking at the dance studio because this is probably the only place I would need to drive myself - parking lots in general freak me out. And I honestly dont think it matters that I'm driving a SUV, I could be driving my daughters powerwheels and probably not want to park it.

The street their dance is on is fairly busy...I will need to take make a left hand turn into their parking lot (without a light!) I suppose I could park on the street, although I've never see anyone else do this so I dont know that its allowed. This particular parking lot is very small - cars come and go very quickly and constantly (people are usually just dropping off and then leaving).

We've been talking about getting a second car alot lately and as DH pointed out - I dont have my license so no point...but if I got my license we would get a second car for him and I would drive the trailblazer. We used to own a Sable and I liked that car but actually like the SUV better...I feel safer.

Making a left into a drive-way on a busy street isn't as bad as it seems. You just need to watch one direction of traffic to clear and then you turn. You are not crossing two lanes of opposing traffic so it is easier.

You can do that! Or, drive around the block!

As for the parking, can you pull to the back where is it less crowded until you get the hang of it? Or can you pull around it a few times until there is a spot you can feel better about?

 

[ChrizJen]

I have an irrational fear of driving a car with a manual transmission.
I've tried it in empty parking lots, and I'm not really all that bad at it.
But I absolutely refused to take it out on the road. I guess my biggest fear was similar to you, OP. Like your parking lot fear, I had anxiety about stopping in an uphill situation and then not being able to start back up again without stalling or rolling into the person behind me.

But at least mine is just a fear of manual transmissions. I have no problem driving an automatic. So I was never forced to overcome my fear. I would say that if you need to start driving, then you have to just jump in and do it. Have a good experienced driver (like your DH for instance) sit in the passenger seat and keep you calm. Keep practicing until you feel more comfortable. You'll do it. It'll just take some time and courage. It's never easy to overcome a fear of something. Good luck!

 

[Pooh's Pixie]

OP, I know how you feel about not being able to do stuff like parking in the dance parking lot or making a left turn. But you have to just remind yourself of the reality of what's the worst thing that's likely to happen? You need to park somewhere a little less convenient until you get the hang of it (I did that a lot!) or you drive around the block...No one is going to judge you. You will be fine. Practice helps give you confidence. Even just last week, I was getting on the highway and forgot that I needed to get onto another highway at the next exit, which was a left exit....I couldn't get across the traffic fast enough, so I just got off at the next exit and went around. No big deal. It's a bigger deal in your mind because you haven't done it. Plus, being an older driver you will be more cautious and knowledgeable than most pimply 16 year olds that start driving, and most of them do fine!
Now get out there ! LOL!

 

[Feralpeg]

My daughter had a fear of driving. I believe her fear came after two friends died in a car accident. For a very long time, she did not want to learn. Finally, this past summer, she told me she was ready. She is 21. I booked lessons for her with a driving school. She has since gotten her license. She still has not driven a lot. I am part of the problem now. I am a very nervous passenger with her, so I try not to ride with her that much.

She actually talked to a psychologist at her university. He told her that this is a fairly common fear. To get over it, they suggest immersion therapy. Basically, it means slowly working toward over coming the fear.

OP, google fear of driving. You'll find a lot of information.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I didn't get my license until after college. I was kind of scared, and frankly, just didn't need it enough to want it. (I went from a small town where everything was within walking distance, to a self-contained campus that was even smaller.) I was going to do it in high school, just to get it out of the way, but the drivers' ed teacher was a yeller, and I was nervous already. - That would have only made it worse.

Anyway, I eventually got it (thanks to my grandmother taking me out practicing, and later DH) but that was in a rural area of Western New York. When I moved to a much busier area in Massachusetts, it was like starting over. - Plus, we only had one car then (I took a train to work) so I wasn't practicing for a while. But eventually I wanted the flexibility, and we could afford the second car, so I just started small. - Each new thing I learned was related to a specific place I wanted or needed to go. I've met a lot of my goals, but I'm still working on some even now.

So, baby steps! - First drive little bits, around your block, even. Move on to easy, close outings. (Big parking lots are your friend - walking from the nice pull-through spots far away from the door is good exercise!) Then, one goal at a time! Reward yourself for each new place you can get to.

Best of luck!!

 

[edandcolleen1995]

My family says DH is an enabler because he takes me where I need to go - which benefits him obviously too (grocery shopping, errands for the house etc.)

I can see their point. If there is no medical reason for not driving and public transportation is not an option, they yeah, you do need to get a license.

Clearly it is fine for a vast majority of the population, so I am sure you will ok also. Again assuming there is no medical reason why not.

 

[KAMKIM]

I can see their point. If there is no medical reason for not driving and public transportation is not an option, they yeah, you do need to get a license.

Clearly it is fine for a vast majority of the population, so I am sure you will ok also. Again assuming there is no medical reason why not.

There is physical medical reason I cannot drive. My fear is that I will die, or kill someone.

I guess I dont see why they care if it clearly doesn't affect them.

 

[edandcolleen1995]

There is physical medical reason I cannot drive. My fear is that I will die, or kill someone.

I guess I dont see why they care if it clearly doesn't affect them.

Perhaps your DH has vented to them about taking you all over? He is their son and that of course means they will be looking out for him, even as an adult.

Not sure if being afraid of something like driving a car is a real medical issue. But heck, might be for all I know..

Good luck if you try to learn how to drive. I am sure it will work out ok for you.

 

[KAMKIM]

Perhaps your DH has vented to them about taking you all over? He is their son and that of course means they will be looking out for him, even as an adult.

Not sure if being afraid of something like driving a car is a real medical issue. But heck, might be for all I know..

Good luck if you try to learn how to drive. I am sure it will work out ok for you.

I dont think he has complained to them, he'd tell me if it bothered him. It isn't his family, it's mine.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

DH and I never had any of "fear" and we had been in plenty of accidents. My oldest is 18 and she was driving a 24ft boat at 14 and got her permit at 15 for the car.

Why do I say this?

My 13yodd is already dreading getting her license. She doesn't ride a bike, won't drive a go-cart, nothing. Does not do any roller coasters or scary rides.

I have her in counseling and she is learning to overcome her anxieties. I highly recommend it.

This weekend we are tackling riding a bike. I think she is ready. We will see.

Basically you have to change your perception. You are focused on the negative instead of the postive. Like everyone else has said, baby steps. Once you have alot of successes you venture out more and then the positives really do outweigh the negatives and your perception changes.

Not an easy feat, but it is a process. Good Luck!