Another parenting WWYD?

[Liberty Belle]

My son, 17, has invited a friend over tomorrow. The friend is a girl and they've done several things together (movies, sledding, lunch, etc), but this is the first time she's come to the house. He says they are completely platonic.

I asked him what they were going to do and he said, "Just hang out in my room, I guess." He'll probably want to keep the door shut because he doesn't like our beagle going in his room.

Would you be ok with this or would you make him keep the door open?

I don't have a problem with it, but then thought...maybe I should.

 

[princessmom29]

If you haven't been given a reason not to trust them, then I don't see a problem.

 

[luvmy3]

If you trust your ds, then I don't think there is any reason to have a problem with it. However, what happens if one time he brings a girlfriend over and wants to hang in his room with her, would you be equally OK with that? He may use this against you someday

 

[Hannathy]

I wouldn't have a problem with it. It would be fine with me.



forgot to say that was I wouldn't have a problem with them closing the door. It would be ok to close the door.

 

[postage stamp]

You know your kid better than we do. Go with your gut.

When I was a kid/teenager I could have moved in my my two guy friends Mikey and Joey and my parents wouldn't have batted an eye, but any other boy? Full on chastity belt and spy cam.

And they were right, I totally would have done what they said I would have,

 

[ksjayhawks]

I would have them keep the door open and figure a way to keep the beagle away from them--gate in the doorway, keep with you, crate while she is there, block of the hallway or stairs.

 

[Liberty Belle]

You all are right. I do trust him. I guess I was wondering if I should set guidelines, but I don't think it's necessary.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Boyfriend? No Platonic Friend, yes. My dd has several platonic guyfriends.

 

[sunshine1178]

My son, 17, has invited a friend over tomorrow. The friend is a girl and they've done several things together (movies, sledding, lunch, etc), but this is the first time she's come to the house. He says they are completely platonic.

I asked him what they were going to do and he said, "Just hang out in my room, I guess." He'll probably want to keep the door shut because he doesn't like our beagle going in his room.

Would you be ok with this or would you make him keep the door open?

I don't have a problem with it, but then thought...maybe I should.

Teenaged girl's mom here. I have a problem!

Maybe the dog can be kenneled or occupied in another room, but I wouldn't want my daughter in a closed door situation with a boy. It's too easy for things to go too far, even with a "friend."

 

[java]

Mom of a 16 year old son- nope no doors closed in our house. Also we encourage the kids to hang out downstairs vs. in the bedrooms.

That being said- I know in about a year and half my son will be away at school. But for now- my house my rules. I tell him it has nothing to do with trusting him- I do. It's the girls I don't trust!

 

[Hannathy]

Teenaged girl's mom here. I have a problem!

Maybe the dog can be kenneled or occupied in another room, but I wouldn't want my daughter in a closed door situation with a boy. It's too easy for things to go too far, even with a "friend."

Why?

I'm the Mom of a teenage girl also and believe me having sex in a boys bedroom in his parents house while the Mom was there is the least of my worries and probably the last place they would "do it" If they are going to do anything they have plenty of other better opportunities!

I trust my DD and I would have no problem with her in a room with the door closed. She used to go to a guy friends house and practice violin and they always closed the door and in fact for solo ensemble there were 2 guys in there with her!

 

[msjprincess]

Why?

I'm the Mom of a teenage girl also and believe me having sex in a boys bedroom in his parents house while the Mom was there is the least of my worries and probably the last place they would "do it" If they are going to do anything they have plenty of other better opportunities!

I trust my DD and I would have no problem with her in a room with the door closed. She used to go to a guy friends house and practice violin and they always closed the door and in fact for solo ensemble there were 2 guys in there with her!

I was going to say the same thing. If kids are looking to fool around they'll find a way and at home with their parents in the house is probably the last place you have to worry about.

 

[Wall-E1]

It's a no lose situation. If something does go down in there, you'll have a grandchild by Christmas. Yay!

 

[jiminyC_fan]

At first I thought that you know your son better than anyone but then as a mom of two daughters, I wouldn't be happy with closed doors. Maybe call the parents of the girl to see what they think would be a good idea.

 

[mhsjax]

Sure they can close the door. But I will be popping in, unannounced, and without knocking at all, no warning, several times during the visit. But go ahead and close the door.

 

[luvmy3]

At first I thought that you know your son better than anyone but then as a mom of two daughters, I wouldn't be happy with closed doors. Maybe call the parents of the girl to see what they think would be a good idea.

Really, you would call the parents of a 17 year old girl and ask them if she can hang out in your ds's room with the door closed?

 

[Liberty Belle]

It's a no lose situation. If something does go down in there, you'll have a grandchild by Christmas. Yay!

 

[Liberty Belle]

Really, you would call the parents of a 17 year old girl and ask them if she can hang out in your ds's room with the door closed?

My son would be HUMILIATED.

He has ridden in the car with this girl several times and they've been gone for hours (like I said, movies, sledding, eating out, etc) and I'm sure her mom knows about that.

My son has been to her house and has met both her parents.

 

[auntie]

How would you feel if it was your daughter?.. and she had a guy in there?

Door stays open. Her family will thank you.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Tough call!!!

And, really, almost a catch-22.
You don't want to come off as a nosy, strict, prude...
But, one guy, one girl, bedroom, door closed tight...

Good question that I might have to deal with before I know it!

Maybe I would tell my son that I am great with him and young lady friends, but that, if he must spend one-on-one time with a girl in his room, he should respect that I might be more comfortable if they didn't hole themselves up by full closing (locking) the door.

Sure, our kids are gonna do what they are gonna do....
And I do feel that they deserve respect and privacy.
I am not living in any prude state of denial.
I guess I am of the mind that, if they are gonna do what they are gonna do, it just isn't going to be under my roof.

For me, I am thinking that one-on-one, locked away in the bedroom, in my home, might be more than I would want to allow/encourage.

And, YES, I think that several posters here who mention that the parents of girls may be more on the "No boys rooms alone behind closed doors" persuasion.

Not that the girls probably care, and who's gonna tell...