Another "funny things kids say" thread

[live4christp1]

Last week on our drive back from WDW my DD had me laughing so hard I was crying (not a good thing when you are driving, especially through Atlanta).

Not even an hour into the drive I've heard "mom" about 100 times........and here it goes again.....

Alicia - "Mom, I gotta tell you something"
Me- "what?"
Alicia - "I gotta think of it first"

You know how sometimes we answer our kids question of "how did you know?" with because mom's see everything.....we have eyes in the back of our heads.......well evidently she didn't want me to see something she was doing (she was sitting behind my seat)

Alicia - "mom, can you turn off those eyes in the back of your head?"


The one that had me laughing the hardest happened on the south side of Atlanta. DH was in the passenger seat napping. DS is in the very back seat of the van. DD and Pa (my dad) were sitting in the middle row captain seats (DD in a child seat of course).

Alicia - "hey dad, I need to ask you something"

Me - "dad's asleep.....what do you need"

Alicia - "well can you ask him if he ever wants his nose to be like Charlie Brown's nose?"
........no idea where that one came from.........but it was hysterically funny at the time.


While at WDW our last day before our drive home day was to be spent at Magic Kingdom.....we had been to Busch Gardens, Animal Kingdom, DHS for Star Wars Weekend, Epcot.....all which DD did do things in, watch shows, meet characters, ride rides. Well on Magic Kingdom morning we are all about ready to head out the door. She stops and looks at DS and points her finger and very sternly and seriously says "Micah, Today is my day"..........

 

[Donaldswife]

The other night DD8 and I were in the car.

DD8: "Mommy, what are the grammy's?"
Me: "They are music awards given to singers....(etc. as I explain all about them and answer a few more inquiries)
DD8: "That makes sense, I thought they were for people who didn't have Grandparents so they could win new ones, but what you explained makes a lot more sense."



Goes to show we never REALLY know what is going on their little minds when they hear things. I could just picture a show where all these Grandparent-less people where running up on stage to pick up their new "Grammy"!

 

[PirateSnowmen]

You know the song Kumbaya? When I was little, I used to think that they were saying "Norm" instead of "Lord."

"Oh Norm, Kumbaya."

My parents still won't let me live that one down

 

[Darsa]

"Oh Norm, Kumbaya."

OMG!!

When my DD was about 3-4 years old we were shopping at Wal-Mart, and going through the meat department. DD pipes up "Mumma, why are there noses on that meat?" I looked up and there was a gigantic picture of a rib-eye with a couple of slices of mushroom on top of it. To her those mushrooms looked like noses! It was HILARIOUS at the time; I must've looked like a fool standing there in meats laughing hysterically...

 

[Myothername]

When DS was about 3 I was washing dishes and he comes up behind me and asks where babies come from. Well I just said when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much God puts a baby in the mother's stomach. He said well that guy on tv got it all wrong. I asked what the guy said. He said the man was talking about tadpoles and eggs and stuff. I have no idea what he was watching.

 

[SleepyMom]

These are too cute! Love the Charlie Brown nose one

When my oldest DD was about 4 or 5 my brother came to stay with us for a little while while he got back on his feet, we didn't have an extra room so he slept on the couch. Fast forward a year or so and he has his own 2 bedroom house and is getting ready for his new fiance and her DD to move in. My DD and I went over to see them and she asked where Heather (the DD) was going to sleep and I told her she got the extra bedroom and then she asked where Uncle's fiance was going to sleep and I thought "here we go" and I told her she would sleep in Uncle D's room... she thought about it a minute and then said "Poor Uncle D, he always has to sleep on the couch".

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

These are all funny! I love kid stories.

When DD was in the 2 to 4 age range she used to break the ends off of her french fries. We have no idea why she started this. She called them "tips". We let her do it because it wasn't hurting anything and was a little strange ritual to watch. One day her aunt just blurted out "Why do you do that to your french fries??!!" She just turned politely and said "The tips make me poop." Well there you have it, french fry tips make you poop!

 

[hockeyplayer]

I'm working in my office in the basement. DH brings DD3 down to talk to me.

"Tell your mother what you want," he tells her, barely able to contain himself.

DD, who has some speech issues at the time, gives him an exasperated look and says to me, "I SAID I want the fockin' hound."

As I pick my jaw off the floor, it dawns on me that she is trying to find her favorite Disney VHS tape- The Fox and the Hound!

 

[Spoonful of Sugar]

These are great! OP, how old is your DD? She sounds like a lot of fun!

When DD was around maybe 14 months old she communicated with some baby signs. We were at a restaurant, and the waitress had really big breasts and was wearing a low cut top. Well, DD is a breastfed baby. She looks up at the waitress, then turns to me with a huge smile on her face and signs "milk". Good thing she wasn't talking yet, because that could have been quite embarrassing, especially for the waitress!

 

[mickaholic4077]

A few years ago,my sister was watching a World Cup match, Senegal vs. Turkey. She was rooting for Senegal,but Turkey won. Her oldest son wanted to make her feel better, so he goes up to her and says, "I didn't want Chicken to win!" Needless to say,she was laughing too hard to feel bad about Turkey winning!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Memorial Day weekend I was with my nephews at our cabin. We have an old rotary phone still on the wall, not working of course, so the kids play with sometimes.

My 9yo nephew wanted to dial a number that was on the sticker on the phone.

So he starts dialing the number, he figures that out. The he stops after the first 3 numbers and looking intently at the phone and says....

"Where is the "dash"?"

I told him you just pretend it isn't there and he says OH and keeps dialing the rest of the number.

 

[cybrkitn]

Last weekend, DH ordered "out" and brought it home. We have a Chinese restaurant, a Subway and McDonalds all in the same parking lot near us. DH wanted Chinese, I wanted Subway and DS7 (8 in 2 wks) wanted McDonalds (of course ). So DS goes with his father and when they get home, I notice that there are two sandwiches in the Subway bag. I naturally assumed that DH changed his mind and went with Subway instead. Come to find out that DS decided to go with Subway instead of McDonalds. When I asked him what happened, he says, "I wanted to lay off the fat!"

Ok, I expect an adult to say that, not an almost 8 year old

 

[agnes!]

This thread made me think of one of my favorite DIS-threads *ever*, the "What's the most ridiculous thing you ever heard yourself say to your child?" so here's a link. Enjoy
http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1360117

agnes!

 

[DisneyWhirled]

I'm working in my office in the basement. DH brings DD3 down to talk to me.

"Tell your mother what you want," he tells her, barely able to contain himself.

DD, who has some speech issues at the time, gives him an exasperated look and says to me, "I SAID I want the fockin' hound."

As I pick my jaw off the floor, it dawns on me that she is trying to find her favorite Disney VHS tape- The Fox and the Hound!

OMG!!! Thanks for the laugh!!

When I was about 4, we were at a family outing and someone told my cousin that her fly was down and she was selling peanuts. To this I piped up and said, "girls don't sell peanuts, they have open restaurants!" I remember everyone laughing but I didn't know why. I am 36 now and I never have lived that one down, they still laugh about it at family functions!

 

[mrodgers]

They learn really fast on the bus going to school. My oldest was in kindergarten, 6 years old. Pretty much they know every word imaginable within a month of riding the bus to kindergarten from teh older kids. My youngest was 3.

My mother had us in for my birthday. On the cake was a fire truck supposedly to put out all the flaming candles. So, the 3 year old of course wanted the fire truck to play with.

As we were getting ready to leave, little 3 yr old can't find the fire truck.

"What are you looking for?"

"I can't find the fire F***!"

She's running around yelling "I want the Fire F***! I can't find the Fire F***!"

The 6 year old is practically in tears, "Emma!!!!! You can't SAY THAT!!!! That's a bad word!!!!" She couldn't get her to stop saying it, she was petrified.

All the while, Emma is yelling at her now, "I just want my FIRE F***!!!"

 

[kimblebee]

I have 2 that still crack me up.

We have a AAA baseball team in our city. I took my then 6 year old daughter to the game and we had a great time. Between innings my daughter looked at me and asked what is wrong with those guys selling stuff? She was refering to the guys who walk up and down the rows yelling Cold Beer Get your COOOLLDDD BEEER. She thought they were yelling Oh Dear!


When she was 3, DD was in a daycare that had an outdoor play area that used small rocks around the play structures instead of sand. She got into the habit of shoving a rock up her nose every day. Luckily it was never lodged far enough to require a trip to the ER but it was obvious when one was up there because her nose had a weird bulge on one side. I sat her down and explained that it was dangerous and that the rocks were dirty and to not do it again because it would make me and Grandma and Papa sad.
The next day I picked her up as usual and didn't get the chance to talk to her because we had to run to catch our bus. When we were seated on the bus I asked her how her day was and what she did. She answered and then I asked the big question... Did you put a rock up your nose today? She looked at me with the biggest smile and said no Mom.... 2 rocks! Even the bus driver was laughing out loud after she said it.

It was so hard not to laugh. I can't remember if I held it in or not.

When I was younger I thought that No One had built the Ark. I remember a song from Sunday School and I sang it 'Who built the Ark? No One No One. Who built the Ark? Brother No One built the Ark'

 

[tonilea]

DS was talking to himself in the back seat when I heard him mention the "Golden Rule". I asked him what it was and he pretty much explained that it was treating other people like you would want to be treated. He paused thoughtfully and added "Sometimes, I think "J" WANTS to be hit!"

"J" is a very disruptive and very angry little boy who doesn't like DS.

ETA: These are some older ones I found on my blog.

"Mama, I happy!" That will melt your heart, right? Then he said, "Mama, My winky happy too!" I was in tears, trying not to laugh at him. I guess the kid was just happy all over!

King Thomas the Great (which is an improvement from King Butthead the Great) has deemed me the Queen Mudder. DH is not the King Fodder. He is the Corn Chester (translation Court Jester). The kid cracks me up!

This one is kinda sad, since we lost the baby two weeks later, but still the "deer" part is hysterical.

He made it very clear that he does not want a sister, but if it is a girl.... we should name her Tinkerbelle.

If it is a boy, his name should be Johnson (WTH?) or Oliver (which I kinda like).

If it is a deer , then we should name it Bambi. If it is a deer, we have more to worry about than a name!

Last night I asked him which jammies he wanted to wear. He said, "Winnie the Poop". I asked him to repeat it and again, "Winnie the Poop". :rofl If you think about it, it kinda makes sense.....

 

[live4christp1]

Loving all the funnies!!!!! Kids come up with some of the funniest things!!!!!

These are great! OP, how old is your DD? She sounds like a lot of fun!

QUOTE]

She is 7 and she is a lot of fun!

 

[PUZZLDY5]

Being the mother of 3 boys, there is always comic relief
One of my most memorable is my youngest son a couple of years ago.
Him and I were walking out of Wal-Mart and this car comes from out of nowhere and speeds right in front of the exit where we were comming out. All I hear is a very faint "Dumba**" I was laughing so hard I couldn't even be mad at him for cussing.

 

[4greatboys]

My youngest son ask me on our last trip to disney if he could eat a bunion. Took me a minute or so to realize he wanted a beignet that we had gotten from POFQ.