Angry, Sad, Hurt, Confused

[Justanopinion]

My DS is 19. He is best friends with a girl named C.
DS just recently came home from being gone for 10 months for Army training. While stationed at a certain base he did a lot of drinking. He was bored and drank to kill time. He realized he had a problem and started attending AA meetings. He also did a lot of growing up and maturing while gone but isn't quite grown, kwim?

His friend C still lives at home and her boyfriend lives with them also. I used to really like this family but they have changed in the last year since C graduated. They do have 2 younger boys at home still also.

In the last year the have started hosting basically drinking binges at their home every weekend.
My DS goes over there but doesn't drink because he doesn't want to. He often ends up coming home quite early because of the pressure to drink while there.

Well, he was there Friday night along with some other friends. C and her boyfriend got into an argument and DS decided to come home. He was home by 10 pm.

Another boy he knows, D, was also there. D was drinking quite a bit and was planning on staying the night. Well, D and his girlfriend ended up in an argument also and D decided to go for a walk. At 3:45 am, D called C to say he was headed back to the house. D never made it back. He was struck and killed by a car on the way back. He was a few miles from the house.

No one at the house stayed awake to wait for him. They all woke the next morning to realize he hadn't made it back. His girlfriend went looking for him and couldn't find him. She called his cell, only to have his mother answer and explain that he had been killed.

My DS got the phone call at 1:05 pm. He immediately went to C's house as there were people gathering there. My DH and I went over there at about 3 to check up on him.

I can not believe these people were letting the kids drink again already. I am so mad. They don't know for sure whether this accident was alcohol related or not. The woman that hit him was not drinking or impaired in any way. But do these parents not realize it's time to stop the parties. A 19 year old young man just died.

 

[Serena]

I am so sorry.

 

[Sparx]

there's no nice way to handle it. these people (the parents) are enabling underage drinking, and that is illegal, and a child died from it.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

How awful, I'm so sorry. The parents are behaving irresponsibly and are setting a very bad example. Prayers to all involved. Praise to your DS for recognizing his weakness and doing something about it.

 

[manning]

The next time there is drinking at the house and the parents are there, report it to the police. In our state the parents' butts would be hauled off to jail.


"D" could have easily been driving and my have ended up killing someone.

I would not feel guilty one bit making that phone call!!!!

 

[karibritt01]

There is an investigator assigned to D's case. I would let him know that D and many other underage kids were drinking at that house, with the parents permission. It is possible that the oarents could face charges in the incident as well.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

My DS is 19. He is best friends with a girl named C.
DS just recently came home from being gone for 10 months for Army training. While stationed at a certain base he did a lot of drinking. He was bored and drank to kill time. He realized he had a problem and started attending AA meetings. He also did a lot of growing up and maturing while gone but isn't quite grown, kwim?

His friend C still lives at home and her boyfriend lives with them also. I used to really like this family but they have changed in the last year since C graduated. They do have 2 younger boys at home still also.

In the last year the have started hosting basically drinking binges at their home every weekend.
My DS goes over there but doesn't drink because he doesn't want to. He often ends up coming home quite early because of the pressure to drink while there.

Well, he was there Friday night along with some other friends. C and her boyfriend got into an argument and DS decided to come home. He was home by 10 pm.

Another boy he knows, D, was also there. D was drinking quite a bit and was planning on staying the night. Well, D and his girlfriend ended up in an argument also and D decided to go for a walk. At 3:45 am, D called C to say he was headed back to the house. D never made it back. He was struck and killed by a car on the way back. He was a few miles from the house.

No one at the house stayed awake to wait for him. They all woke the next morning to realize he hadn't made it back. His girlfriend went looking for him and couldn't find him. She called his cell, only to have his mother answer and explain that he had been killed.

My DS got the phone call at 1:05 pm. He immediately went to C's house as there were people gathering there. My DH and I went over there at about 3 to check up on him.

I can not believe these people were letting the kids drink again already. I am so mad. They don't know for sure whether this accident was alcohol related or not. The woman that hit him was not drinking or impaired in any way. But do these parents not realize it's time to stop the parties. A 19 year old young man just died.

That is so sad. Prayers to your son to go through this, and hope he's able to stay sober during this ordeal....
No doubt in my mind drinking played a role in it tho...
One of my best friends was killed a few yrs back. She was too drunk to drive, so she walked home. But, obviously, still impaired, who knows where exactly she was walking or how dark the roads were...a sober driver struck and killed her as well.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I am SO sorry.

 

[OK!]

I'm so sorry to hear of this loss.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Oh no, how horrible. Thank heavens your DS was smart enough to walk away. I keep praying my kids will be tough enough to walk away when that stuff starts up around them but you never know until it happens do you

I would be willing to bet that kid has alcohol in his system and that when the police go sniffing around they will find out exactly where it came from. Too many witnesses for anyone to get away with that. Those parents are probably going to jail. There is little doubt in my mind that they are going to end up being found to be responsible for this kids death because they provided alcohol regardless of any other circumstance at least that is how it pays out in the courts around here.

I do not know what goes through the heads of some people. Over and over these otherwise normal looking people end up in jail for trying to be cool with their kids. What is wrong with them? For heavens sake, having kids is not an excuse to try to do-over your own failed High School years. Being an idiot with your PEERS is a right of passage. However, if ANY adult ever dared to give my kids a drink I drag my kid to the police and press charges followed by a civil law suit so fast their heads would spin.

That poor family... how awful.

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

Oh no, how horrible. Thank heavens your DS was smart enough to walk away. I keep praying my kids will be tough enough to walk away when that stuff starts up around them but you never know until it happens do you

I would be willing to bet that kid has alcohol in his system and that when the police go sniffing around they will find out exactly where it came from. Too many witnesses for anyone to get away with that. Those parents are probably going to jail. There is little doubt in my mind that they are going to end up being found to be responsible for this kids death because they provided alcohol regardless of any other circumstance at least that is how it pays out in the courts around here.

I do not know what goes through the heads of some people. Over and over these otherwise normal looking people end up in jail for trying to be cool with their kids. What is wrong with them? For heavens sake, having kids is not an excuse to try to do-over your own failed High School years. Being an idiot with your PEERS is a right of passage. However, if ANY adult ever dared to give my kids a drink I drag my kid to the police and press charges followed by a civil law suit so fast their heads would spin.

That poor family... how awful.

 

[bunny]

How heartbreaking! Your son needs new friends. If he is going to AA, I would think they would tell him to not get in those types of situations. He definitely needs to stay away from all the drinking. What a waste that a young man had to die that way!